anonymous user Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Beautiful work girl has been off sick all week with a raging cold. I haz been miserable. Now I have a bloody cold. Next time, remember no tongues and you probably won't get her germs STUNO 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplebargeken Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 I wish. STUNO and EssDeeWon 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplebargeken Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 I'm 51, she's 24. It ain't ever going to happen. Although she is up for coming out for a drink with me which is lovely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BavarianRetro Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 24!? Fucksake. I've got jumpers older than that. hennabm, The Moog, BavarianRetro and 8 others 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philibusmo Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 I'm 'off sick' today and tmozz as I'm well ill... Visited docs thismorning - viral attack. Doc advised no driving as my head is mashed. ..... iz unwell ..... TSIt must be bad; I understood that perfectly. myglaren, anonymous user, Bucketeer and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cort16 Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Can it not be windy as fuck during the day when I'm not trying to sleep ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 I don't ever catch colds, flu, lurgey since giving gluten the elbow some years ago, but when I notice them doing the rounds plague fashion I do notice very slight symptoms, did believe them emphatic but now realise I'm actually a carrier, I am the bastard that delivers misery and suffering, merry xmas. STUNO, mercrocker, Craig the Princess and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Worked out that atm, 30l of derv will cost £1.30 more than 30l of NuVeg. Scribbled 30l of veg off the shopping list, I'll pop past asda tomorrow/next week Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
320touring Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Worked out that atm, 30l of derv will cost £1.30 more than 30l of NuVeg. Scribbled 30l of veg off the shopping list, I'll pop past asda tomorrow/next weekMind and add on the cost of a portikn of chips every day for the authentic smell! beko1987 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inspector Morose Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 A bottle of vodka at 43 years old is never a good idea. Nor is two bottles of wine and a couple of shots of brandy beforehand. Oh yes, whisky, mustn't forget the whisky. Roll on tomorrow. I'm going to regret this. A lot. dome 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 A bottle of vodka at 43 years old is never a good idea. Nor is two bottles of wine and a couple of shots of brandy beforehand. Oh yes, whisky, mustn't forget the whisky. Roll on tomorrow. I'm going to regret this. A lot.Don't regret, embrace! There's always a tactical chunder to get you out of a hole ShiteRider and nebuchenezer 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tooSavvy Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 It must be bad; I understood that perfectly..... still awake .... Even the 'Dorsey Story' hasnt zzd me Gahhhh..... that is all..... TS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twosmoke300 Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Don't regret, embrace! There's always a tactical chunder to get you out of a holeOi ! No tactical chunders on my watch ! Cheats way out . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Honda Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Hangovers? Boattle of Irn-Bru and a couple of roll n sausage. Sorted. chaseracer and hennabm 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clanger Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 I am not usually given to acts of self harm, yet for some reason I voluntarily watched the Mini episode of Classic Car Rescue the other night... actually, the truth is that I watched it twice as I was hammered the first time and fell asleep. I think I derived the most benefit from my first viewing. Are we really so fucking retarded that the producers of these "reality" shows expect us to believe that the caricature baldy norf lahdahn turd burgling felcher hired a couple of knuckle dragging thugs to move the car who then decided to roll it off the truck - and somehow they still managed to restore it in 7 days for £1 5s 6d. Hasn't anyone taken out a contract on Bernie yet? Or, Mario for that matter? If there's a whip round to have them iced, count me in. gordonbennet, fred, D Spares & Tyres and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nebuchenezer Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Don't regret, embrace! There's always a tactical chunder to get you out of a holeDo youngs even know the benefits of a tactical? Put the E46 in for an MOT yesterday, it only went and passed! Grump - bastard MOT software thinks MOT due April not early Jan so rather than getting 13 months only got 12 - Arse biscuits beko1987 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 11:00 yesterday- "Everybody has worked hard this year so we'll give you Christmas Eve off." Good, that gives me more time to do some last minute stuff before going to my dad's for dinner. 09:45 today- "There's been a call-out in Dufftown (Four hours each way, with the prospect of spending the night in the van if there's an accident on the A9. Which there will be,)" I wonder if now would be a good time to discuss the call-out rota and on-call payments that were talked about but never materialised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaseracer Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 I wonder if now would be a good time to discuss the call-out rota and on-call payments that were talked about but never materialised. Speaking in a professional capacity, I can't think of a more appropriate and potentially effective opportunity... richardmorris, michael1703, DeeJay and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakebullet Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 I thought I'd escaped the crapmass classic of selling on evilbay, but no, like that bastard slade song it's been wheeled out again: Just wondering how long delivery usually takes as i ordered a while back and delivery date was stated 16th dec wanted dice for xmas day and still have not arrived. Well done love. Wait till there's absolutely fuck all I can do about it short of driving 300 miles to ram your £1.50 purchase up your arse. Don't forget to leave negative feedback that I've ruined little Timmy's christmas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSdriver Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Just paid a couple of cheques into the bank and was told they won't be cleared until the 4th of January. Wankers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael1703 Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 But when you Write somebody a cheque ,it's guaranteed to clear much quicker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveb47 Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Got petrol at my local upminster garage this morning.£1:13 per litre.Robbing bastards. Did get some poundland wiper blades though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doobietoo Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Got a letter from the DVLA this morning saying "last chance to tax your car" strange that as I taxed it online on the 3rd of December and have a confirmation email.... checked my bank and find they haven't set up the direct debit of taken the money.... phoned them to find they are closed until Tuesday.... muppets ..... good job I carry my confirmation email in the car.... how many people are going to lose their *untaxed cars because the DVLA cannot get even the simple things right... So decided to retax the car ....once again I get a confirmation email.... lets see if they can get this one right.... now have 2 confirmation emails of me taxing the car... lol.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HH-R Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Wasn't sure whether to put this in the grin or grumpy thread because I sat back and found it all quite funny but I suppose it was a sad state of affairs really. People who can't handle their drink... they go out once/twice a year and make a royal arse of themselves. My usually quiet local had someone in who they wouldn't serve because he was so drunk at 8 o clock. Turns out he was barred anyway so got thrown out. He must have thought about it for a bit then put his head through the window! No matter how much I drank I'd never think that putting my face through a glass window was a good idea. Was half an hour of excitement though. myglaren and Cavcraft 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 (one of) My annual grump(s) is about amateur drinkers. Do us a favour, if you can't hold your ale and want to fight the world to try and impress the shiny suited gobshites from your office party, then stay at home and be a knobhead there instead, thank you. beko1987, fordperv, 155V6 and 9 others 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HH-R Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Yep! On black eyed Friday, had someone trying to wind me and my brother up saying "I could have you both if I wanted" over and over. We just ignored him, going on that basis that if he was going to do anything then he would have just done it and not told us about how he could. No doubt his mammy was holding his hair out of the way when he was bringing up his WKDs and Red Bull an hour later. Cavcraft 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fordperv Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 (one of) My annual grump(s) is about amateur drinkers. Do us a favour, if you can't hold your ale and want to fight the world to try and impress the shiny suited gobshites from your office party, then stay at home and be a knobhead there instead, thank you.A lad who works at the barbers I go to encountered one of these nobbers, he was out with the other lads who work there and a drunken idiot gave him a black eye for simply being out, it's a shame as well he's a good lad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robinmasters Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 In >1600 pages, it will have been mentioned before, but what with all the festivities it's been happening a lot more lately. Women posting pictures of themselves don't that ridiculous pout, and men doing the same but with that gormless mouth-open faux surprise expression. Why haven't these people been evolved out yet? mercrocker 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D Spares & Tyres Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Daughter (11) tried to buy a candle for her mum for xmas Not allowed as have to be eighteen apparantly.... So at 16 you can legally leave home,get married, have sex and ride a motorbike if want. But if there's a power cut you would have to sit there in the dark as you can't buy a candle.... myglaren, mercrocker, STUNO and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeJay Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 ^^^^That'd get on my wick. michael1703, STUNO, andrew e and 9 others 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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