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The grumpy thread


outlaw118

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Non-motoring, and less of a grump but I've just come off a phone call that's absolutely thrown me. Glad I was sitting down as a friend just rang me and casually dropped into conversation that another friend's wedding venue has been decided on as St Lucia, with a potential cost per-head in the region of £2000. Two grand man ffs. Where am I supposed to pull that out of?

First of all, if I had 2 grand lying about, I'd be spending it on myself, not a pissing wedding. Even if you think of it as a holiday with mates with a wedding chucked in, St Lucia is pretty much the last place I'd ever choose for a holiday and especially not one where I could hypothetically afford that kind of budget!

Two grand, man.

I don't even like weddings.

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12 minutes ago, Crackers said:

Non-motoring, and less of a grump but I've just come off a phone call that's absolutely thrown me. Glad I was sitting down as a friend just rang me and casually dropped into conversation that another friend's wedding venue has been decided on as St Lucia, with a potential cost per-head in the region of £2000. Two grand man ffs. Where am I supposed to pull that out of?

First of all, if I had 2 grand lying about, I'd be spending it on myself, not a pissing wedding. Even if you think of it as a holiday with mates with a wedding chucked in, St Lucia is pretty much the last place I'd ever choose for a holiday and especially not one where I could hypothetically afford that kind of budget!

Two grand, man.

I don't even like weddings.

That's possibly a polite and very convoluted way of saying "we're getting married but don't want anyone at our wedding" 

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21 minutes ago, Crackers said:

Non-motoring, and less of a grump but I've just come off a phone call that's absolutely thrown me. Glad I was sitting down as a friend just rang me and casually dropped into conversation that another friend's wedding venue has been decided on as St Lucia, with a potential cost per-head in the region of £2000. Two grand man ffs. Where am I supposed to pull that out of?

First of all, if I had 2 grand lying about, I'd be spending it on myself, not a pissing wedding. Even if you think of it as a holiday with mates with a wedding chucked in, St Lucia is pretty much the last place I'd ever choose for a holiday and especially not one where I could hypothetically afford that kind of budget!

Two grand, man.

I don't even like weddings.

Fuck that, fuck them and fuck weddings.  Anyone expecting someone to pay £2k to come to their wedding is unhinged. It's a toxic and fucked up industry relying on shaming and guilting people into spending obscene money on what will no doubt be the most stressful and unpleasant day of their lives, no matter what they pay for it.

Don't waste your money to prop up their insane plans and don't feel guilty telling them that. 

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7 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

That's possibly a polite and very convoluted way of saying "we're getting married but don't want anyone at our wedding" 

Anyone who spends 20k on a UK wedding must be nuts , much better to do it on a beach as part of a holiday and save 20k plus interest on your mortgage.

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28 minutes ago, cobblers said:

Fuck that, fuck them and fuck weddings.  Anyone expecting someone to pay £2k to come to their wedding is unhinged. It's a toxic and fucked up industry relying on shaming and guilting people into spending obscene money on what will no doubt be the most stressful and unpleasant day of their lives, no matter what they pay for it.

Don't waste your money to prop up their insane plans and don't feel guilty telling them that. 

I was going to write a post but I think you've said everything that I wanted to say here.  Expecting people to pay £2,000 to see you get married is the absolute height of vacuous vanity. 

In general, I find the more expensive the wedding, the shorter the marriage anyway...

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2 hours ago, Crackers said:

St Lucia

Two grand, man.

I don't even like weddings.

That's hilarious.  Nobody is obliged to spend that kind of money when they're invited as a GUEST.   You're under no obligation spend that kind of money, even if you're the bride's father.  Weddings are insane.

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35 minutes ago, vulgalour said:

That's hilarious.  Nobody is obliged to spend that kind of money when they're invited as a GUEST.   You're under no obligation spend that kind of money, even if you're the bride's father.  Weddings are insane.

Best wedding I was ever at was a result of two mates in the pub one night suddenly decided "WTF are we waiting for, let's do it."
Spool forwards three days later and I get a call saying there's been a cancellation at a registry office and can I come down next Wednesday and be best man/witness/driver?
Day after the do six of us went up to a mate's shack in the woods, miles from anywhere. No telly, no phone nothing except half a dozen people for three days with three cases of beer, several bottles of vino and two bottles of Laphroaig.
It cost them about £600 all in, they're celebrating their silver anniversary in August.
 

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3 hours ago, Crackers said:

Non-motoring, and less of a grump but I've just come off a phone call that's absolutely thrown me. Glad I was sitting down as a friend just rang me and casually dropped into conversation that another friend's wedding venue has been decided on as St Lucia, with a potential cost per-head in the region of £2000. Two grand man ffs. Where am I supposed to pull that out of?

First of all, if I had 2 grand lying about, I'd be spending it on myself, not a pissing wedding. Even if you think of it as a holiday with mates with a wedding chucked in, St Lucia is pretty much the last place I'd ever choose for a holiday and especially not one where I could hypothetically afford that kind of budget!

Two grand, man.

I don't even like weddings.

People like that only want a wedding, not a marriage, and an excuse to show off to everyone how much better they are than everyone else.  They probably want their guests to pay that much so they can afford the divorce proceedings in six months time.

Tell them to go fuck themselves and that you hope the ceremony gets hit by a hurricane.

(Disclaimer: yes, I am a misanthrope.)

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More likely, they don't want people coming, they only went close family and friends, but don't want to not invite people.  Which is more of a snub to any friends who are not successful.hedhe fund managers.  

I calculate it cost me £2500 to attend my sons wedding near Redditch.  5 hotel rooms , for 2 nights, a suit, and shoes for myself, 2 dresses, new bras and knickers, 2 pairs of shoes and a hand bag, and taking some (18) of the wedding guests out to dinner the night before.   

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27 minutes ago, New POD said:

More likely, they don't want people coming, they only went close family and friends, but don't want to not invite people.  Which is more of a snub to any friends who are not successful.hedhe fund managers.  

I think you're being far too creditable.  As Pieman says, people genuinely want this and expect their friends to fork out £2,000.  'Wedding not a marriage' is spot on.  I call them 'Instagram weddings'.

It may have cost you £2,000 in that instance but a large chunk of that was optional and it's your son's wedding.  Not some random 'mate'.

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On 3/18/2022 at 11:32 PM, Yoss said:

Screenshot_20220318_232627_com.android.chrome.thumb.jpg.b12baf469b3b9873f47786493a49a3b0.jpg

 

I realise this isn't helping buts it's what immediately popped in to my head. Sorry, can't do proper links but if you're that fussed you'll be able to find it. 

Also noticed while looking this up that HMHB have a song called National Shite Day. Just listened to it. Nigels lyrics really are quite inspired.

The Voltarol years!!!

Tess of the Dormobiles.

I also like The Macc lads, excellent band!

9615CFB4-C615-4F6A-97C9-0ABDD31B5C2D.jpeg

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15 hours ago, wuvvum said:

Does hubby have dual citizenship?  If so has he considered sacking off his US passport?  If he doesn't intend to move back then it might be less hassle.

The Catch 22 is that if he wanted to give up US citizenship, one requirement is that he is up to date with his taxes and doesn't owe the IRS anything.

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16 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

The general advice online seems to be "Just hire a tax lawyer to do the return for you." Yeah, at about $400 an hour.

That is what I did when filing US tax returns.  The tax code is so complex that the general opinion seemed to be that the tax adviser paid for themselves by including exemptions that you would never have found yourself because they are so illogical.  The lump sum fee was around $1200 as I recall but the reduction was way more than that.

I wouldn't dream of paying a tax or financial adviser over here but the IRS can really mess up your life so might be worth biting the bullet.

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I would regard the St Lucia wedding thing as a real bonus because its a (probably intentional) ready made excuse for not attending. I'd just pretend I that couldn't afford it or didn't have a passport.

So many of the grumps on this thread are due to people feeling obligated to do, buy, or pay attention to things they can just say no to.

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1 hour ago, cort1977 said:

That is what I did when filing US tax returns.  The tax code is so complex that the general opinion seemed to be that the tax adviser paid for themselves by including exemptions that you would never have found yourself because they are so illogical.  The lump sum fee was around $1200 as I recall but the reduction was way more than that.

I wouldn't dream of paying a tax or financial adviser over here but the IRS can really mess up your life so might be worth biting the bullet.

The ridiculous thing here is that the amount we will owe is inevitably going to be $0 as there's nothing coming from over there, and we've already paid tax on our incomings over here.

Even using the paid tools (i.e. TurboTax) it was about $150...so potentially having to pay ten times that, and likely one an annual basis, would sting a bit!

I've passed on the suggestions regarding possible solutions to the phone issue and we'll see where we get to.  Worry is we've not even got past the "We've sent you a text with your one time code..." Bit which never used to exist, so there's apprehension over what else might have materialised since last year given the whole process looks to have changed.

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6 hours ago, New POD said:

I calculate it cost me £2500 to attend my sons wedding near Redditch.  5 hotel rooms , for 2 nights, a suit, and shoes for myself, 2 dresses, new bras and knickers, 2 pairs of shoes and a hand bag, and taking some (18) of the wedding guests out to dinner the night before.   

Well if you want to wear a new bra and knickers to your son's wedding then that's your own affair.

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2 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

The ridiculous thing here is that the amount we will owe is inevitably going to be $0 as there's nothing coming from over there, and we've already paid tax on our incomings over here.

Even using the paid tools (i.e. TurboTax) it was about $150...so potentially having to pay ten times that, and likely one an annual basis, would sting a bit!

I've passed on the suggestions regarding possible solutions to the phone issue and we'll see where we get to.  Worry is we've not even got past the "We've sent you a text with your one time code..." Bit which never used to exist, so there's apprehension over what else might have materialised since last year given the whole process looks to have changed.

Right, not many savings if no tax is to be paid.  

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This is probably petty, but the current batch of Honda adverts on the radio are getting on my tits at the moment.  They'll pick a safety feature fitted to the new Jazz or whatever and present it like it's some wonderful new Honda invention which came to them in a moment of inspiration and is unique to their cars, rather than something which is fitted as standard on every single new car and in many cases is a legal requirement anyway.

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9 hours ago, New POD said:

More likely, they don't want people coming, they only went close family and friends, but don't want to not invite people.  Which is more of a snub to any friends who are not successful.hedhe fund managers.  

I calculate it cost me £2500 to attend my sons wedding near Redditch.  5 hotel rooms , for 2 nights, a suit, and shoes for myself, 2 dresses, new bras and knickers, 2 pairs of shoes and a hand bag, and taking some (18) of the wedding guests out to dinner the night before.   

Bra and knickers......................sniggers......................erm sorry !

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