Amishtat Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 16 minutes ago, sierraman said: Just seen a sign by highways England, ‘if you break down on the motorway pull to the left...’ I mean what dickhead doesn’t know this? If you don’t know that you need banning. There's an equally cretinous ad on the TV to this effect too. crad, bobdisk, twosmoke300 and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazoli Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 1 minute ago, Amishtat said: There's an equally cretinous ad on the TV to this effect too. They are trying to justify their incredibly dangerous 'smart' motorways after there has been several deaths. Craig the Princess, R1152, crad and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myglaren Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 8 minutes ago, Amishtat said: There's an equally cretinous ad on the TV to this effect too. Are there covid adverts on the telly. I have heard one a couple of times on Classic FM and it sounds like Mariella Frostrup (lovely) but have found no confirmation anywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amishtat Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 Not sure, I've stopped paying attention to anything if there's a hint of Chinasniffles about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amishtat Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 18 minutes ago, Jazoli said: They are trying to justify their incredibly dangerous 'smart' motorways after there has been several deaths. Another stupid idea which really shouldn't have made it past the planning stage. Still, as we see so often, (including, it appears, the news 24 thread on here) there's fucking morons everywhere nowadays. crad, Tickman, bobdisk and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talbot Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 On 3/29/2021 at 2:16 PM, Supernaut said: I don't own a printer. They're devil-spawn. For anyone who isn't famailar with Phillip Jackson's work: https://www.collectedcurios.com/ His slightly* surreal series called "Spider and Scorpion" is just superb. outlaw118, AxWomble, Supernaut and 1 other 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talbot Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 3 hours ago, sierraman said: Just seen a sign by highways England, ‘if you break down on the motorway pull to the left...’ I mean what dickhead doesn’t know this? If you don’t know that you need banning. There's a radio advert running to the same effect in this area with a bastardised version of "go west" by the Pet Shop Boys, turned into "Go Left". I'm very much of the same opinion that anyone who breaks down in a live lane and doesn't do everything they possibly can to get off the carriageway and just leaves it there should be banned permanently "But why? Why am I banned?" "Because you're too stupid to be trusted with a high-speed metal box filled with people in close proximity to many other high-speed metal boxes filled with people". But then I'm all in favour of permanent (life long) bans for anyone caught drink driving, causing death by dangerous driving, driving whilst disqualifed, etc.etc. crad, outlaw118, AxWomble and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supernaut Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 1 hour ago, Talbot said: For anyone who isn't famailar with Phillip Jackson's work: https://www.collectedcurios.com/ His slightly* surreal series called "Spider and Scorpion" is just superb. Wow, that's a blast from the past. Didn't realise he was still going. The problem with Sequential Art and also Questionable Content (another long-running comic) is that as soon as you stop reading it for a few months you're completely out of the loop, as I am with both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hairnet Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 Craig the Princess 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelandeth Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 Oh please for the love of puppies...could the kids next door stop screaming bloody murder just for five minutes...please... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New POD Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 9 hours ago, sierraman said: Just seen a sign by highways England, ‘if you break down on the motorway pull to the left...’ I mean what dickhead doesn’t know this? If you don’t know that you need banning. Some years ago. My uncle, with 3 top execs from his firm, broke down in a traffic queue in the outside lane on the M4 in the rush hour, in the dark and rain. 2 month old Audi 100. This was before mobile phones. It just stopped. Hazards and lights all failed too. It was all he could do to get 2 wheels on the central reservation. He managed to get out and get the car behind to go to a phone and let the police know. They had to close the motorway to push it to the hard shoulder whilst waiting for a tow truck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wack Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 9 hours ago, sierraman said: Just seen a sign by highways England, ‘if you break down on the motorway pull to the left...’ I mean what dickhead doesn’t know this? If you don’t know that you need banning. I've seen a number of "professional" drivers pull into the orange refuge areas then sit there with their indicator on waiting for a gap in the traffic so they can enter lane one at 3mph to leave , last one was in an 18T rigid on the M1 I do hope it's all camera monitored because they're supposed to call on the phone, wait for the lane to be closed then be escorted out by the highways agency , you know so somebody doing 70 isn't suddenly up the arse of a truck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R1152 Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 Some friends of our family broke down on the M11 and were told to remain in the vehicle on the hard shoulder. This was in the early 80s. You can guess what happened next; one of our so-called "knights of the road" went into the back of them. One was left paraplegic; one with pelvic damage, one with neck damage. The insurance payout at the time apparently was a record and made the TV news, but it cost them their restaurant business. myglaren and crad 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busmansholiday Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 Lockdown is easing so Mrs BMH has decided it's time to redecorate the house ! myglaren 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthecapriman Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 Digging the garden over the last few days. And now I’ve got a trapped nerve in my sodding shoulder! Bloody kills and it’s going right down my arm into my fingers. Stupid useless body! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarvinsMom Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 23 hours ago, wuvvum said: Am I the only one left wondering why you would want to apply coconut and sandalwood body balm to a prosthetic leg? it brings the grain of the wood up something lovely..... myglaren 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lankytim Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 4 hours ago, Wack said: I've seen a number of "professional" drivers pull into the orange refuge areas then sit there with their indicator on waiting for a gap in the traffic so they can enter lane one at 3mph to leave , last one was in an 18T rigid on the M1 I do hope it's all camera monitored because they're supposed to call on the phone, wait for the lane to be closed then be escorted out by the highways agency , you know so somebody doing 70 isn't suddenly up the arse of a truck When you ring the operator asks you if you'd like the lane closed, or did at least when I rang. I declined as it was quiet and safely pulled out into lane one (ex hard sholder) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
High Jetter Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 45 minutes ago, busmansholiday said: Lockdown is easing so Mrs BMH has decided it's time to redecorate the house ! Shudder! Not a good time, cos (insert restrictions here) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wack Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 4 hours ago, Lankytim said: When you ring the operator asks you if you'd like the lane closed, or did at least when I rang. I declined as it was quiet and safely pulled out into lane one (ex hard sholder) This was first day of release from lockdown 29th , it was very busy , so busy on the way back I was expecting to see a crash because I couldn't see how he could safely pull out from that position Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelandeth Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 Oh FFS. The place I usually go for anything car related is still operating trade only. So I turn around and go to Halfords. Sign on the door "Maximum number of people in store: 27." The queue for the checkout went all the way to the back of the store, crossed over past the parts desk, then looped about a third of the way back to the entrance. Bit of very appropriate mental math later I reckon there's at least 150 people in the queue alone. That's a hard nope from me, I never even got as far as fully walking in the door. Guess I am ordering from Amazon then. So much for the plan to do the oil and filter on the Jag this afternoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan the van Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 Got caught out in a similar fashion yesterday.Rocked up at my usual car parts place to be greeted by two long complicated printed A4 sheets taped to the window.Could only be bothered to read the bits in red,basically,bog off back home,order it on our crap website and then come back and we'll lob it out the door at you.Was only oil for the tractor so I got it from the ag merchant.Was pleased to find it was a fiver cheaper so not a total loss. Remspoor 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hairnet Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 did similar today went out in the hairdressers car to buy some bits you can only get from m and s (yeah i know) this was at 11am car park mostly full but parked close ish went to walk in and there was queue of at least 15 people waiting to go in theres other shops an iceland and an aldi 100 ft away no queues wtf?!! 5 mins later i was home putting kettle on - m and s specific stuff can wait till another time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelandeth Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 57 minutes ago, Dan the van said: Got caught out in a similar fashion yesterday.Rocked up at my usual car parts place to be greeted by two long complicated printed A4 sheets taped to the window.Could only be bothered to read the bits in red,basically,bog off back home,order it on our crap website and then come back and we'll lob it out the door at you.Was only oil for the tractor so I got it from the ag merchant.Was pleased to find it was a fiver cheaper so not a total loss. Similar here. They're open for click and collect - but that option only exists on the website for trade accounts as far as I can see. Plus it's one of those maddening ones which only let you search for stuff it thinks is right based on your reg number - there's no "browse" option. Which if you're just after something generic is absolutely infuriating - or as is the case with about 50% of the stuff for the Xantia, if the website's database is wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan the van Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 It was a bit odd tbh because during lockdown v2 they were open as normal,even taking cash.Hey ho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tadhg Tiogar Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 49 minutes ago, hairnet said: did similar today went out in the hairdressers car to buy some bits you can only get from m and s (yeah i know) this was at 11am car park mostly full but parked close ish went to walk in and there was queue of at least 15 people waiting to go in theres other shops an iceland and an aldi 100 ft away no queues wtf?!! 5 mins later i was home putting kettle on - m and s specific stuff can wait till another time This isn't just a queue. This is an M&S queue. DeeJay, crad, myglaren and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hairnet Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 least its not dunnes stores :D or a centra :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tadhg Tiogar Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 13 minutes ago, hairnet said: least its not dunnes stores or a centra I remember being in a Dunnes and thinking it was a sink of hell. Then I went to their Ennis branch and remembered it had been used as Ireland's largest lingerie department.... Amishtat, chaseracer and 108 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelandeth Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 Oh, also, April Fools Day can get in the sea. It takes me far, far, far too long to figure out that about 50% of them I read are "jokes" just because of how my brain works. Especially stuff that pops up in the trade press etc which I automatically process as being a valid source of information. Makes me feel an utter dunce an hour or so later when I realise that I've been taken in hook, line and sinker by it. BorniteIdentity, GrumpiusMaximus, myglaren and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aston Martin Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 Why does every cunt in a 320d, think they're in a works DTM car? timolloyd, twosmoke300 and GrumpiusMaximus 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaseracer Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 1 hour ago, Tadhg Tiogar said: I remember being in a Dunnes and thinking it was a sink of hell. Then I went to their Ennis branch and remembered it had been used as Ireland's largest lingerie department.... Was it Father Noel Furlong who took point? somewhatfoolish 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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