The grumpy thread

[clayts450]

Heard a loud 'crack' whilst out cleaning the van on Sunday. Thought no more of it.

Got in van yesterday for a job, drove from Nottingham to Edenbridge. Strange rattling noise at front end not heard before. Thought it may be the sack trolley rattling against the bulkhead. Moved sack trolley, strapped it to the load bay. Rattle still there. Pulled into lay by outside Edenbridge - had a good prod around - nowt obvious. Van handling okay but rattling over bumps in the road. Drove home. Had daft idea it may be the speed limiter box rattling around (I pulled the fuse on it ages ago, but the box is still attached) - wedged it in good and proper, took for a run, still rattling.

Got the van up on axle stands - suspected drop links. Nope all fine. Checked everything else suspension related. All good. Hit front offside tyre with hammer - could still hear rattling. Wondered if brake pads rattling in caliper. Pulled wheel off. Brake pads fine. Had another look at the shock absorber. Hang on, what's this rattling around loose in the cup...

Motherlover....

Bottom of coil spring sheared clean off (that will have been the bang when parked up then). Am grateful that (a) happened when stationary and (2) the cup caught the bit neatly and it didn't go spearing into the side of the tyre at 70mph on the M1 or M25 yesterday.

Spoken to my local indie - earliest they can fit it in for replacement is next Tuesday. No van, no work. Bollox

(BTW the van drives fine, but I don't believe I should risk it - still, at least the rattle has gone)

[iainrcz]

Yet again, silly bollocks gets herself involved and I'm on the losing side.

She goes in my shed. Chucks the keys on the side. Something I never do.

So obviously assuming she isn't an idiot I lock up.

So now we have back door key and shed key locked in shed. Behind a fairly new £20 Squire padlock.

Can someone tell Clark's to start opening again and get her out of the way?

[captain_70s]

7 hours ago, Angrydicky said:

Can't you just leave the trolley jack in the boot of the Acclaim? Saloon, so hidden from thieving eyes.

 

7 hours ago, Talbot said:

-5MPG due to massive weight.   Maybe.

This. It's heavy enough that it makes a noticeable difference to performance/handling/economy when in the boot of a car with only 70bhp. I used to keep it in the boot of whatever car I wasn't using and just swap it between them, but I've got less spare sheds cars now.

One day, when this COVID garbage is done I'll have a garage to store shit in...

Still off work today, light stretching and movement deffo helping, being stationary/heavy work deffo makes things worse. Been cleaning the interior of the Acclaim.

[beko1987]

1 hour ago, clayts450 said:

Heard a loud 'crack' whilst out cleaning the van on Sunday. Thought no more of it.

Got in van yesterday for a job, drove from Nottingham to Edenbridge. Strange rattling noise at front end not heard before. Thought it may be the sack trolley rattling against the bulkhead. Moved sack trolley, strapped it to the load bay. Rattle still there. Pulled into lay by outside Edenbridge - had a good prod around - nowt obvious. Van handling okay but rattling over bumps in the road. Drove home. Had daft idea it may be the speed limiter box rattling around (I pulled the fuse on it ages ago, but the box is still attached) - wedged it in good and proper, took for a run, still rattling.

Got the van up on axle stands - suspected drop links. Nope all fine. Checked everything else suspension related. All good. Hit front offside tyre with hammer - could still hear rattling. Wondered if brake pads rattling in caliper. Pulled wheel off. Brake pads fine. Had another look at the shock absorber. Hang on, what's this rattling around loose in the cup...

Motherlover....

Bottom of coil spring sheared clean off (that will have been the bang when parked up then). Am grateful that (a) happened when stationary and (2) the cup caught the bit neatly and it didn't go spearing into the side of the tyre at 70mph on the M1 or M25 yesterday.

Spoken to my local indie - earliest they can fit it in for replacement is next Tuesday. No van, no work. Bollox

(BTW the van drives fine, but I don't believe I should risk it - still, at least the rattle has gone)

Sounds like the sort of thing the man from vosa would have a wet dream over finding on a normal stoppo... 

[clayts450]

15 minutes ago, beko1987 said:

Sounds like the sort of thing the man from vosa would have a wet dream over finding on a normal stoppo... 

Absolutely - just cannot take that risk

[jakebullet]

Super fast* internet is coming to my area! Which means the twunts are digging up and making a mess out of all the pavements. They've piled all this shit against my wall. Under the pile of shit is my internet cable, place odds now of it surviving useless twat and his mini digger?

It's a solution to a none existent problem. There's 60 meg from BT if you want it. Or you can have 300 from virgin cable. So why would you go with some 20 years too late start up that's bound to be shit?

[Mally]

4 hours ago, chaseracer said:

Worked for Domestic Management after her car accident.

Failed on my wife, but she quite enjoyed it and said it didn't hurt.

[Fumbler]

Anyone familiar with Kent may know that the council goes gung-ho with roadworks on the holidays. They had closed Hawkhurst highstreet from the A21 junction to the crossroads in the centre of the town on Monday morning.

The diversion is no problem at all, but on the following day they've decided digging up and closing half of the (already) congested diversion is a smashing idea. Kent County Council never fails to surprise me.

[twosmoke300]

5 hours ago, Mally said:

Yes £75 without telling you is not on.

I was thinking '£25 drive it away sir' is better than a fail and 'bring it back for welding next week'.

I wouldn’t wheel the welder out for £25 quid ! Esp when you take the vat off that 

[Supernaut]

1 hour ago, jakebullet said:

Super fast* internet is coming to my area! Which means the twunts are digging up and making a mess out of all the pavements. They've piled all this shit against my wall. Under the pile of shit is my internet cable, place odds now of it surviving useless twat and his mini digger?

It's a solution to a none existent problem. There's 60 meg from BT if you want it. Or you can have 300 from virgin cable. So why would you go with some 20 years too late start up that's bound to be shit?

City Fibre? Or should I call them Shitty Fibre...

They seem to hire the same bunch of hapless cowboys to dig up the roads everywhere.

[Mally]

12 minutes ago, twosmoke300 said:

I wouldn’t wheel the welder out for £25 quid ! Esp when you take the vat off that 

Yes but you are a proper garage.

My mate would stick the £25 in his wallet and buy me a drink when the pubs open.

[somewhatfoolish]

39 minutes ago, Fumbler said:

Anyone familiar with Kent may know that the council goes gung-ho with roadworks on the holidays. They had closed Hawkhurst highstreet from the A21 junction to the crossroads in the centre of the town on Monday morning.

The diversion is no problem at all, but on the following day they've decided digging up and closing half of the (already) congested diversion is a smashing idea. Kent County Council never fails to surprise me.

Local council not speaking to the county council? Different roads may be looked after by different orgs. Still stupid.

[High Jetter]

4 hours ago, iainrcz said:

Yet again, silly bollocks gets herself involved and I'm on the losing side.

She goes in my shed. Chucks the keys on the side. Something I never do.

So obviously assuming she isn't an idiot I lock up.

So now we have back door key and shed key locked in shed. Behind a fairly new £20 Squire padlock.

Can someone tell Clark's to start opening again and get her out of the way?

Didn't the padlock come with more than one key...?

[iainrcz]

2 minutes ago, High Jetter said:

Didn't the padlock come with more than one key...?

Yes.

The other got lost during "data migration"

 

In other words, I was moving shit around and it got dropped, somewhere.

[strangeangel]

4 hours ago, captain_70s said:

...makes a noticeable difference to performance/handling/economy when in the boot of a car with only 70bhp.

 

 

Struggling to comprehend this after bringing home a fortnight's shopping (inc. beer ration) in a 28BHP Citroen, which is itself currently more powerful than the Vito (about 10 horses as we speak).

 

[jakebullet]

53 minutes ago, Supernaut said:

City Fibre? Or should I call them Shitty Fibre...

They seem to hire the same bunch of hapless cowboys to dig up the roads everywhere.

That's the ones. Taking yonks to do it and making a shitty mess in the process.

[strangeangel]

2 minutes ago, jakebullet said:

That's the ones. Taking yonks to do it and making a shitty mess in the process.

 

 

[Fumbler]

26 minutes ago, somewhatfoolish said:

Local council not speaking to the county council? Different roads may be looked after by different orgs. Still stupid.

I believe it's Tunbridge Wells Borough Council which is doing these as Hawkhurst is just inside the borough. This would explain a lot as they're equally hopeless in their home town, which happens to be one of the busiest in the county IIRC. Stupidly enough all this work is given the go-ahead by the county council and everything has their branding on it.

[Jerzy Woking]

Been waiting a week for a skip to be dropped off at my place, 5 days for the gardener to come and spray my weeds (I cannot get a permit to buy proper weedkiller), and 4 days for the tree surgeon to come and prune the fir trees (for which you need a special permit).

The "manana" attitude here is pissing me off immensely once more.

[Talbot]

5 hours ago, clayts450 said:

Spoken to my local indie - earliest they can fit it in for replacement is next Tuesday. No van, no work. Bollox

Meh.  Take the spring out, grind the end square, swipe of paint over it, wallop it back in.  Springs seem to fracture the last couple of inches off quite regularly these days, it's to do with how they are hung while being heat-treated which causes a stress riser.  There are probably thousands and thousands of vehicles running about with a broken spring.  If it still drives ok, I'd keep driving it.  That much spring missing probably makes less difference to the ride-height than having a toolbox in the passenger footwell.

[clayts450]

TBF, it doesn't look as if it's leaning on the front offside (it was only half a coil after all), and I drove 349 miles yesterday in blissful ignorance without a kitten/children/nun killing frenzy ensuing. However, the issue is I don't do spring compressors - leave that to the professionals I say. And yes, I don't wear big boy pants.

Bodge jobs don't work in the transport industry, sadly, as Sam noted above. DVSA would be on it like a tramp on chips. Just cannot take that risk, I'm afraid.

But yes, you're right about the many thousands of cars running around with broken springs which only get picked up at the MoT.

[beko1987]

I've had a Zafira running round with 3 that broke between the mot prior and the mot it failed because I didn't even think to check. Zero difference before or after bar it rode a bit better as I replaced the fucked rear shocks with cheap ones whilst I was there (unhooked both at the bottom to drop the axle to drop the springs and they just fell to full xtension... Gr8) 

[Stanky]

5 hours ago, iainrcz said:

Yet again, silly bollocks gets herself involved and I'm on the losing side.

She goes in my shed. Chucks the keys on the side. Something I never do.

So obviously assuming she isn't an idiot I lock up.

So now we have back door key and shed key locked in shed. Behind a fairly new £20 Squire padlock.

Can someone tell Clark's to start opening again and get her out of the way?

Give the padlock body a sharp whack with a hammer on the top right, where the endy bit of the loop 'clicks' into the body. If your skilled/lucky they just pop open. Even if it doesn't work it's cost nothing

[High Jetter]

55 minutes ago, Talbot said:

 it's to do with how they are hung

Amen, brother

[ruffgeezer]

Everything is fucking broken and it's pissing me off. 

[Ghosty]

Fuckwit customers at work. 

At least twice a week I have this conversation with people that knock on the door: 
 

'yes?'
'are you open?'

there is a bright orange sign on the door that says 'welcome, we are open', and another that says 'please knock' below it. 

'...Yes...'
'I've got a bike I want to bring down, is that alright?'
'yes, do you have it with you?'
'no, I wanted to see if you were open first'
[aneurysm]
'well bring it in at your leisure'

They never fucking come back. 

Do these morons not own telephones? The shop has a mobile phone number and a Messenger account...

[loserone]

When I worked for a week at a small record store, we used to have chavs come in asking for the "nu monkey" tapes.  I was told to tell them they were in the window.  They would go out and look at them in the window, then walk off.

 

Not one was ever sold.

[loserone]

My grump: Tik Tok.  Seriously, WTF? How can anyone with an attention span longer than a gnat's put up with it ? And then other platforms actually import the same frigging "content", which usually cuts before the end anyway. ARGH!

[Ghosty]

It's hard not to say 'no' to people that ask if the shop is open. 

Or my desired response, which is 'let me just check with the Pope, oh wait, HE'S TAKING A SHIT IN THE WOODS'. 
We get a lot of folks in that don't buy anything. If someone ever buys the carbon Pinarello we have, I'll be astounded.


TikTok is shite. 

[Jazoli]

6 hours ago, loserone said:

My grump: Tik Tok.  Seriously, WTF? How can anyone with an attention span longer than a gnat's put up with it ? And then other platforms actually import the same frigging "content", which usually cuts before the end anyway. ARGH!

TikTok's only purpose is to make self important attention seeking wankers feel good for the 30 seconds their vid may last, its the worst type of social media there is.