The grumpy thread

[garethj]

its 5am

-2 outside

and all the Scimitar door locks are frozen solid

De-icer spray?

Gas soldering iron flame?

Kettle of hot water?

 

You can get some spray stuff to stop locks from icing up, I used to put it on the motorbikes

[ChinaTom]

Thanks for the kind words earlier chaps. I'm in daily contact with my old pal now and I'll be across to see him asap.

 

SOC - I will buy you a beer in return; and yes, Wednesday nights do seem familiar. We did the Dog & Parrot a lot too.

[dollywobbler]

My list of grumps is growing.

 

1) Still no internet. TalkTalk are an absolute shower of shite who I suspect will soon find themselves no longer with my custom. Was due yesterday, but we still don't have it.

2) I fettled my spare 2CV engine and refitted it to the car. Test-ran it yesterday and it's pissing oil everywhere as the oil feed to the LH cylinder head has stripped. I wouldn't mind but:

3) The BX isn't working. It's making some alarming rattling noises and also refusing to start. Ordered some new glow plugs as they've been crap since I bought the car but:

4) Halfords. Went and ordered a set of plugs. Got a phone call the next day to let me know that ONE had been delivered. Thanks. Finally, they're all in so I can go and get them. Apart from:

5) Snow. Great. Just what we need when we're 12 miles from the nearest town and it's all hilly. 2CV is BRILLIANT in the snow, but doesn't work. BX is a BLOODY GOOD in the snow, but doesn't work. CX - no, I didn't really go there. That leaves the Mini, which seemed game for it, but after wheelspinning up the very first hill, we turned around and came home. We could have got to town, but it would have taken hours. (the gritter has just come past though!)

 

So, my life is full of fail at the moment, my toes are cold and none of my cars are any use. I'm down the hotel again waiting for the snow to ease off so I can walk back to the house without looking like a snowman by the time I get there (beards absorb a LOT of snow!).

[Rocket88]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Jack the CX up to it's highest suspension setting, and try it then!

[Timewaster]

Have you ever tried driving a cx at full height?

The smoothest ride in the world becomes the hardest. It is borderline undriveable!

[Cheggers]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Jack the CX up to it's highest suspension setting, and try it then!

 

Mmmmm...high-altitude sliding

[Volksy]

From what I was told, the 'High' position is really only to facilitate wheel changes, and for use in the workshop, yes you can drive it slowly, but it's not meant for general driving.

[Guest]

Hmm, a mate of mine had a problem with his Xantia whereby it was stuck on the highest suspension setting. We drove from Manchester to Derby and back with it like that . His car, not mine. It was painful.

[Guest]

Other people on my course. A lad today confirmed my suspicions that he was a total cunt par excellence.

 

Today we had an assessment in a news room that was allegedly soundproofed. Hmm, chinny reckon? It's in the cellar of an old warehouse directly below an unsilenced practice room. There was a band in there going fucking mental with a full rehearsal. Screaming, caterwauling, keyboards - the lot. Had it been in the right place and time, I might have appreciated it. At 12 noon when I'm doing a piece of important coursework, I was half tempted to rip the breaker switches out of the room and stuff them up their arses.

 

Twat boy was unconcerned. He could see I was getting annoyed and trying to concentrate (we all were) as this half arsed Faith No More tribute act were steadily getting louder.

 

'Well', he says. 'I think they're amazing. Their drummer is amazing.'

'Yeah', says I, 'But there's a time and place for stuff like that, and now isn't it. I'm not in the mood to listen to some daft twats squawk their arses off in the middle of the day'.

 

'I don't care' he says. 'They're great, and I can just block them out ( how very appreciative of you).'

 

Perhaps if I'd taken as many illegal substances as you mate, then I could as well. Perhaps you had to be there. Perhaps this doesn't come across very well in text.

I don't care, he's still a selfish little twat. How about FUCK OFF? Take your 'amazing' band with you, yeah? Bus has gone.

 

Wankers, the lot of 'em.

[chaseracer]

Hmm, a mate of mine had a problem with his Xantia whereby it was stuck on the highest suspension setting. We drove from Manchester to Derby and back with it like that . His car, not mine. It was painful.

Probably fecked the car, then...

[Guest]

Hmm, a mate of mine had a problem with his Xantia whereby it was stuck on the highest suspension setting. We drove from Manchester to Derby and back with it like that . His car, not mine. It was painful.

Probably fecked the car, then...

 

He had the accumulator and spheres done not long after by SCTSH_ANDY. It was jammed at maximum ride height after a local 'specialist' near Chorlton fucked up a repair when the system was depressurising. He went in with scatty brakes and ended up coming home with even worse anchors and the ride height jammed on the donk. It now drives and levels up perfectly. He then managed to stuff a Kadett Caravan into the back of it when a weld failed on his tow bar bracket (he was A-framing the Opel at the time), and several local scrotes have tried to steal it off his drive for reasons unknown.

 

I dunno. He still likes it - he has a hat that matches the seat upholstery and everything.

[Tayne]

.

[Albert Ross]

Aye, for real. Piss on your car.

[Richard]

I got a right bollocking the last time I did that. Mind you it wasn't my car, or frosty.

[gearoil]

I have some sort of winter vom bug, its coming out all ends, seeing stars, good gust of wind would knock me over... I feel fucking rank.

 

Missed the Biffy Clyro gig tonight too, and the dude who was supposed to pick up my Sierra two weeks ago has vanished into thin air but i'm feeling so shitty I couldn't care less.

 

Fuck fuck fuckety fuck.

 

 

 

 

EDIT - Chinatom, sorry to hear your news mate.

[Tayne]

.

[gearoil]

Sounds like Norovirus or Winter Vomiting Bug thing.

You should be ok in two to three days.

 

Yep, cheers Tayne.

 

Did a delivery on Wednesday night to a ship crewed by a bunch of ill Phillipios - not been well since.

[The Moog]

Sorry to hear that CT. Got a mate the same age been diagnosed with MS. Sad to watch him go downhill. No Rhyme or reason for it..

[VWPowered]

snow

 

[maxpower]

tis' the season to be jolly la la la la ....no it feckin isn't

 

sold car after trouble free motoring the bastard decides to get it's own back on me by refusing to start.(flat battery)

 

i only started it 2 days ago!! do you think cars know that you want rid of them and decide to breakdown when buyer is there just to make you look a cnut?

 

feckin japanese reliability my arse!

 

come rain, hail, sleet or snow you are getting the feck off my driveway even if i have to give you away

[Mr Lobster]

Snow (again).

 

Theres not that much of it but you know it will reduce the drivers of this fine nation into utter imbeciles incapable of managing much in the way of forward motion when confronted by it.

 

Which isn't much help when I've got a mega busy week coming up where I shall be covering something like 1800 miles in the next seven days. Cock.

[wuvvum]

I had the Justy booked in for its retest at 1pm today. I'd done all the jobs on the failure sheet so in theory it should have just been a formality. Only when I got to the testing station at 12.55 they'd locked up and buggered off home. Surely if you have a job booked in it's common courtesy to actually be there at the time the job was booked in for? I'm now going to either have the Justy sitting round for another week with no T&T, or have to take a half day off work in the week to run it in for a retest. Neither of which are ideal scenarios.

[cobblers]

Hoover/Candy tumble dryers. Who the fuck designs a dryer that needs completely dismantling (to the state where the only thing left in the casing is the motor and fan) to replace the heater assembly?

The heater itself is bolted on the outside of the back of the dryer with 2 screws. Great I think! then it transpires that to unplug the bloody thing, the WHOLE dryer needs taking apart.

 

It's turned what could be a 5 minute job (had they left another 3 inches of wire for me to go at) to 90 minutes to take the thing apart. I've got until next week to wait for the part (and forget how the bloody thing goes back together).

[keef]

I wasn't going to lose it for the sake of £200 or so!

 

How's Beautiful Hatty JaKes doing, Dicky?

[ashmicro]

Hoover/Candy tumble dryers. Who the fuck designs a dryer that needs completely dismantling (to the state where the only thing left in the casing is the motor and fan) to replace the heater assembly?

The heater itself is bolted on the outside of the back of the dryer with 2 screws. Great I think! then it transpires that to unplug the bloody thing, the WHOLE dryer needs taking apart.

 

It's turned what could be a 5 minute job (had they left another 3 inches of wire for me to go at) to 90 minutes to take the thing apart. I've got until next week to wait for the part (and forget how the bloody thing goes back together).

 

 

Similar thing happened to me some time ago. Take photos as you dismantle next time.

[ashmicro]

I've been grumpy this last week as Mrs Ash's car got clobbered by an bus on sunday last. She has had to have some of her hair shaved off so the medics could remove glass fragments from her head, she has a BFO bruise the size of Belfast City Hall on her leg, 2 black eyes (which are fading now) and she's still woried about going to sleep in case she loses consciousness altogether and doesn't wake up again.

 

The single-decker was being driven by some monkey who works on them, not a proper bus driver.

 

 

Wanker.

[brammy777]

Im annoyed none of us spotted this on Pistonheads. HOWEVER, it was missing the trademark mirror and I am certain they didnt have rubbing strips. Bet it will be a Cosworth Replica soon.

 

Also, hope Mrs Ash gets better soon AM.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

OMG its got the grey grille and everything!!!!! How much was it?

[brammy777]

£550, seller made a point of mentioning it as a Cosworth re-shell, apparently it had been in storage for a decade. Bugger!

[outlaw118]

Heard Ray Winstone on Talksport this week, and he was askd about the Sweeney remake.

"We've heard Danny Dire (sic) is going to play the Dennis Waterman role"

"Nothings been decided yet..."

 

Can't someone kill this useless waste of skin before he ruins what could potentially be a good film?