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The grumpy thread


outlaw118

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For anyone who suffers the Black Dog, I can recommend the six week (once a week) courses the NHS hold. A bloke or Lady speaks for half an hour outlining why you feel like this, tea break, and then someone else takes over. I went and was surprised at how full a modern city centre church can be. The very act of just going is enormously helpful - it's confirmation that you have issues, and that you're dealing with them......and that it's not just you. The pressures of modern life on many will only make this more prevalent.

 

Best part, it's free and very good because NHS.

Not available in all areas unfortunately

 

Becos NHS

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Been there too Stanky!

 

Metal caps are fine so long as there's a smear of grease on the threads. I've never had issues on any car I've put them on - but ended up having to have all four valves swapped when I bought a car with them already in place as they had welded themselves to the valve stems.

 

Probably not an issue if you check tyre pressures as often as you really should...but I'm as guilty as failing there as anyone!

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Okay, so the Hyundai Matrix that belongs to the guy who bought my 164 over two months ago is STILL outside.

 

Council didn't respond to abandoned vehicle report. I have had no comms from the guy for two months now either.

 

What do I do? Like seriously, because he lives like 200 miles away.

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Reluctantly forked out a FUCKING SHIT LOAD of dosh on a floor repair panel for the GT6 today. Whilst I was waiting for some paint to dry on a repair on the rear quarter the other day I started fucking poking about on the floor and guess what the chuff happened? Yeah, its full of bastard holes now. 

 

This is going to turn into a right bleedin' job this. 

 

By the time I've finished I might even want to keep the sodding thing.

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Van insurance for light haulage is always expensive , just got my renewal through , £846 which is £300 under other quotes, I declared the non fault shunt last year and they added £68 on, fuckers, so I moaned, it doesn't seem entirely fair that somebody runs into me at a roundabout and my insurance goes up

 

Ok let me check that, yes I can apply a discount , your new premium will be £846 , so not a discount then

 

Ok, I've bought a new van, can I add it on to the policy 16th-24th , 8 days to give me time to sell the old one

 

yes we can do that , I'll just calculate the premium , including our £19.50 admin charge that will be ------- £214

 

what, for 8 days forget it

 

Insured it for 10 days with day insure for £80

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Wow!

I’d recommend my 2cv Citroen place in isleworth, but Lee has just fallen off his bike doing his shoulder in and needs an operation. My friend rick is now trying to do all the workshop jobs plus his own private work and his current day job driving buses in London. I will txt him now though to see if he can recommend a garage.

Edit.... rims engineering in teddington. Won’t be cheap he says as the engine needs to come out with the box.http://www.rimsengineering.co.uk

To be fair, I had put aside at least two and a half bags just to cover anything else that might go wrong during the process.

 

I'll ask the Staples Corner boss if it would be less time-consuming to ask if Friern Barnet could do the job of taking out the engine and gearbox - after all, they did their training on CXs.

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Van insurance for light haulage is always expensive , just got my renewal through , £846 which is £300 under other quotes, I declared the non fault shunt last year and they added £68 on, fuckers, so I moaned, it doesn't seem entirely fair that somebody runs into me at a roundabout and my insurance goes up

 

Ok let me check that, yes I can apply a discount , your new premium will be £846 , so not a discount then

 

Ok, I've bought a new van, can I add it on to the policy 16th-24th , 8 days to give me time to sell the old one

 

yes we can do that , I'll just calculate the premium , including our £19.50 admin charge that will be ------- £214

 

what, for 8 days forget it

 

Insured it for 10 days with day insure for £80

£214 for 8 days!

 

I added the Boxster to my Admiral policy for two weeks when I bought it so I could sort out moving on my Duster to my FiL - it was £35 including a £20 admin fee.

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To be fair, I had put aside at least two and a half bags just to cover anything else that might go wrong during the process.

I'll ask the Staples Corner boss if it would be less time-consuming to ask if Friern Barnet could do the job of taking out the engine and gearbox - after all, they did their training on CXs.

d

Rick has just whatsapped me laughing about Rolls Royce prices ( he’s worked for the specialists) and suggested again you call the teddington place.

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That is a shit tale, mate......At least the fish can eat the metal ones, though.

 

 

Been there too Stanky!

 

Metal caps are fine so long as there's a smear of grease on the threads. I've never had issues on any car I've put them on - but ended up having to have all four valves swapped when I bought a car with them already in place as they had welded themselves to the valve stems.

 

Probably not an issue if you check tyre pressures as often as you really should...but I'm as guilty as failing there as anyone!

 

Yeah my own fault, I should have copper slipped them or taken them off entirely. They bring nothing to the party. In a fit of rage/efficiency I also removed the shiny plastic wheel bolt caps, because with the current run of luck, I'll not be able to change a tyre due to forgetting the stupid puller thing.

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£214 for 8 days!

 

I added the Boxster to my Admiral policy for two weeks when I bought it so I could sort out moving on my Duster to my FiL - it was £35 including a £20 admin fee.

 

 

That's what I thought it'd be , maybe £50 , not £214

 

I think admiral are cheap if you're a perfect driver with no convictions for anything ever but stray off that straight line and they'll hammer you , I bet it's one fault claim and next years premium has £fuck.off instead of a figure

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Yeah my own fault, I should have copper slipped them or taken them off entirely. They bring nothing to the party. In a fit of rage/efficiency I also removed the shiny plastic wheel bolt caps, because with the current run of luck, I'll not be able to change a tyre due to forgetting the stupid puller thing.

As an ex-tyre dude I have no sympathy for the fitters of snazzy valve caps. I hope you've learned your lesson lol.

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Did you try flowers tied to a breezeblock through the window ?

Edited. Sorry Podster but I'm failing to see a reason to even try. I guess there might be something "off camera" - like she's normally perfectly nice, or is well fit or something. But based on what you've said it's just mental abuse, pure and simple. "You need to do exactly what I'm thinking to make this right, but you don't deserve a clue. Good luck, the clock is ticking".

 

I dunno. I got out of a relationship where I ended up apologising for EVERYTHING like the time I once slipped on ice and picked up a limp, or hours of screaming because when I went to the shop they had no skimmed milk. My fault, sorry. Won't happen again.

 

Maybe you need to make a list of the good things and then see where you stand?

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I don't understand why I don't leave. 28 years thrown away ??

The belief in marriage vows.

In sickness and in health.

She has reasons to be sad due to her health. And she's obviously menopausal. And vitamin D deficient. But she's always polite and objective with everyone else.

With me it's like a fucking roller coaster.

She says she loves me, but then directs all her pain and frustrations at me.

I don't want to hurt her more by saying it's over but I have nothing left.

 

Have you spoken to anyone who knows/has access to both sides?

 

You really need to speak to someone who can help in a professional or personal way, If not a pro, then perhaps a mutual friend? A relative? maybe some of her family? Kids? (i saw you said they were grown up next post down). Somebody who can listen to both sides and convey things from a somewhat neutral stance towards her (and perhaps you, if she opens up to them) and if nothing else, get the lines of communication and further options open.

 

It's clear by your posts that it's (understandably) dragging you down, how she is acting is hammering you and all the thinking and second guessing is weighing even more heavily on you, If nothing else, perhaps talking in person with someone closer to it could be a way of unloading that weight?

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Yesterday, woke up to find the dog staring at me. Told it to fuck off but it proceeded to stalk me from mid distance for the rest of the day. No sign of the dick by the end of the day so went to bed in a moderately good place. The fucker woke me this morning once again, this time more persistently. Just gonna ignore the attention seeking little shit for a few days. He hates it when I do that.

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That's what I thought it'd be , maybe £50 , not £214

 

I think admiral are cheap if you're a perfect driver with no convictions for anything ever but stray off that straight line and they'll hammer you , I bet it's one fault claim and next years premium has £fuck.off instead of a figure

I don’t have any convictions but do have a habit of hitting things. They have always been pretty decent.

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I don't understand why I don't leave. 28 years thrown away ??

The belief in marriage vows.

In sickness and in health.

She has reasons to be sad due to her health. And she's obviously menopausal. And vitamin D deficient. But she's always polite and objective with everyone else.

With me it's like a fucking roller coaster.

She says she loves me, but then directs all her pain and frustrations at me.

I don't want to hurt her more by saying it's over but I have nothing left.

Might be worth trying Relate or similar. You need advice from people other than randoms on the internet.

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Might be worth trying Relate or similar. You need advice from people other than randoms on the internet.

This ^^

 

 

From witnessing the deterioration of Mrs Kens relationship with her mum I would say that the menopause has a lot to answer for but this is beyond the competence of an internet forum.

 

Hope you are able to work it out

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I don't seem to post on here anymore so let's solve that with a moan :-)

 

Text from work last night, boss moaning that some figures are wrong and don't match up with what other people have. Says both me and they guy I took off numbers equal about half what they should be. I've worked it out that the boss has input the stats wrong but he won't admit it, wankers gone and thrown the originals done on the day away so he can't double check.

 

Also had a lot of tooth pain for the last week. Been to the dentist who found nothing on the x-ray 'think it's just sensitive'.

Doing some kind of weird sucking on it yesterday and the filling popped, loads of blood come out and now there's a hole in it. Why didn't they use take the filling out and have a look like I wanted in the first place...

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I don't understand why I don't leave. 28 years thrown away ??

The belief in marriage vows.

In sickness and in health.

She has reasons to be sad due to her health. And she's obviously menopausal. And vitamin D deficient. But she's always polite and objective with everyone else.

With me it's like a fucking roller coaster.

She says she loves me, but then directs all her pain and frustrations at me.

I don't want to hurt her more by saying it's over but I have nothing left.

 

PodFella - seriously, seriously - see professionals or it's toast!

Sadly my little one was a new arrival and I was also working away or travelling…..  - so I stuck it for 4yrs until I walked. All the time trying to get her to see someone, together or alone - either way. It won't be easy - my ex wouldn't ever go... of course the minute I had a place sorted, the usual - we could've gone to counselling etc... bullshit.

I was screamed at for seeing friends, doing sports and of course, the cars. Ended up I didn't see mates for over 2yrs.... fuck that ever again.

I left - I was finally into the Lindy Hop I wanted to do..... she makes a show and big noise of going to a demo of it... of course, since then - no passtimes and not doing anything - but 'could have if I'd only tried' etc.... absolute bollocks

It's mental torture fella - you're in the place I was 4yrs ago. Don't do it to yourself - I didn't bother with the ultimatum as I'd eventually given up on the bi-polar nutjob. I know it's a sickness but you have to draw a line - for your own health.

I'm always available on PM if you need to vent, warble or just blah blah……

 

Best wishes dude.

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Sarcastic Tone : Gosh. Wish I'd thought of that.

 

Earnest Tone: I am inclined to believe that flowers will be seen as an insult. At least she can't complain she only gets flowers when she's upset. I buy flowers at random times. Just because.

 

As mentioned above, I/we don't know you or your wife. We don't know you as people, how to communicate with each other or your history. So all we can offer is well intentioned advice. You clearly need more help than that.

 

Best of luck.

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As mentioned above, I/we don't know you or your wife. We don't know you as people, how to communicate with each other or your history. So all we can offer is well intentioned advice. You clearly need more help than that.

 

Best of luck.

and I know that it's a very male dominated forum that I'm venting on. So likey to be more on my side, but when I try to see it from a female perspective I just see my wife in self destruct mode. She must think that I'm a proper twat who likes making her miserable.
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Yesterday, woke up to find the dog staring at me. Told it to fuck off but it proceeded to stalk me from mid distance for the rest of the day. No sign of the dick by the end of the day so went to bed in a moderately good place. The fucker woke me this morning once again, this time more persistently. Just gonna ignore the attention seeking little shit for a few days. He hates it when I do that.

 

Got a bit confused for a minute, thinking this was advice for New POD...

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and I know that it's a very male dominated forum that I'm venting on. So likey to be more on my side, but when I try to see it from a female perspective I just see my wife in self destruct mode. She must think that I'm a proper twat who likes making her miserable.

 

POD - it isn't just that. No matter the gender - if someone told me they were driven to the point of tears/breakdown I'd say the same. It just isn't healthy. You are correct in the fact your missus is on a destructive path - but it can drag you (and others) into the vortex and you are the only one who can decide the fight is

1. worth it

2. winnable

3. going to be a joint effort

If you can't answer a yes to all 3 of the above you're going to regret it.

I didn't actually realise how bad it was until I took pictures of our place, the state it was in.... and friends had an intervention - thinking I was on drugs! I broke down completely to a very close friend and the walls came down..... Once I'd admitted I couldn't do it alone - and she was in no state to fight for us either - it actually got a little easier. Pick your battles and keep your calm - vent to those outside the whole thing certainly, but don't take advice from all and sundry. Only you and your wife can get to professionals, talk to each other or call it a day.

I'll give you a single example - the ONLY time my ex came to me...… didn't reject me or tell me I wasn't attractive etc.... was when I had signed the contract on the new place - then and only then did she curl up on the sofa, with a sobbing fruitcake(me) and hold me - saying 'we'll be together when we're old'..... too little too late. It reminded me of my parents - and my dad has regretted it every single day of his life since he 'gave it another go' (mum drove him to attempt suicide and he still stayed!) - you can repeat mistakes (yours and others) - or you can learn from them.

 

I really hope you can work something out - whatever decision YOU come to…………

As I said - PM any time...…….

 

John

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