Your breakdown stories

[maxxo]

Not sure if this has been done, but post your breakdown stories on here

here's mine

 

Picasso somewhat breakdown:

I knew when getting the car that the clutch was poor, of course, i decided the best thing to do was to ignore it

which was absolutely fine for a few weeks doing more miles than it had done in years, right up until the moment it wasn't fine

Hot summers day in july 2019, i decided to drive to Bishop Auckland (god knows why)

the day previously i had noticed a squealing/grinding noise, which i wrongly assumed was just a tensioner or something

about a mile way from home i noticed the clutch pedal felt weird, think of a brake pedal while the abs is kicking in, as well as hearing a grumbling noise

foolishly i decided to carry on, which is a genius idea*

throughout the drive there i noticed the sqealing had got a lot louder, but it stopped when i depressed the clutch, now i should have turned around at this point and headed home, but i didn't

as i was pulling into the car park, i then noticed the sqealing had mostly stopped and the clutch was incredibly light, for some unknown reason i thought this was a good thing!

i started my drive home, with an insanely light clutch pedal and i thought it was fantastic, until about 2 miles up the road

a very expensive noise occured

now i still somewhat had a clutch, it was now very heavy, felt absolutely awful and had a constant grinding noise

still i carried on home, at high speed trying to avoid touching the clutch

when i did have to touch the clutch the bite was getting higher and higher as well as the noise getting worse.....somehow it made it home, and made it to a garage (another story in itself with that place!) without an FTP

 

Picasso actual breakdown:

december 2019

decided i'd like some ice cream so i hopped in my car to drive the 7 miles to Tesco, was going great until i left my street

went over a speed bump

BANG

it's french, so you guessed it, snapped a spring and very helpfully wedged it against the front tyre, somehow not bursting it

managed to get it over to the side of the road and organised recovery to get it sorted at the same place as the clutch (put the wrong springs on which killed a pair of shocks which is why i fitted a lowering kit)

 

Iveco daily Tesco Van:

driving along yesterday, when there was a pothole i didn't see due to a combination of low sun, wet road and the hole full of water

ALMIGHTY BANG so hard i'm surprised it didn't set off the airbags!

decided i would make my next deliver, noticing that i had zero suspenion dampening now

decided then i shouldn't drive it

i believe it had snapped a spring

waited an hour for a spare van for me to continue my run, and then the van had to get recovered

[jonathan_dyane]

I remember setting off up to Durham from Liverpool in one of my Dyanes and as I set off I quickly realised it wasn’t happy, quite a misfire and trying to stall.

Foolishly I continued and as I got on the M62 things improved however as I got near Warrington I hit heavy traffic and the traffic slowed to walking pace, and, in the middle lane, it cut out and wouldn’t restart. The traffic began moving again so I jumped out and swiftly pushed the car onto the hard shoulder singlehandedly.

I was fairly sure it was a partially blocked primary jet and on the hard shoulder I managed to get it to splutter into life and gave it a good bit of hand over the carb while revving treatment and it seemed happier so I continued.

Around Thirsk however things were deteriorating again so I decided to get off the road and take the top off the carb so I could clean out the float chambers and blow through the jets. I stopped in a supermarket, got the carb in bits then suddenly my back went into spasm and I fell to the ground still clutching one of the jets in my hand. After a few moments lying on the ground the agonising spasm passed but my back was well fucked and the only way I could get up was by pulling myself up the side of the car.

I stood for a time hoping my back would go back into place. It would not. I tried to lean under the bonnet to put my carburettor back together,  a three minute job. Not possible, the agony returned, I nearly fell again.

I ended up having to call the breakdown people to put my carburettor back together after which I literally fell back into the car and drove home in great discomfort. When I arrived at my destination I had to be helped out of the car!

It took some months for my back to return to a state anywhere near normal...

[Zelandeth]

Not really had too many myself...few which stick in the mind.

[] Delivering an absolutely clapped out LDV Convoy for a friend.  At VMax (no speedometer, so guessing 60-ish) on the A90 roughly halfway between Aberdeen and Dundee, suddenly the already deafeningly loud noise from the gearbox/rear axle/both got massively louder.  For about 0.2 seconds.  Then there was a noise like a shotgun being set off in the cabin as the gearbox detonated.  This was the least of my worries as I suddenly found myself on a damp road on a windy day in an LDV with duff tracking, now no power steering and the rear wheels locked solid while I was still doing 60 or so.  Quite how I got it onto the verge still pointing the right direction I still don't know.

We never quite worked out whether the initial failure was the gearbox or the diff...both were badly worn, but one failed and locked up...which in turn took out the other.  There wasn't much left inside the gearbox bigger than the size of a matchbox.  It cracked the casing and bellhousing too.  The diff looked like someone had set off a hand grenade inside it.

[] Subaru Justy trade in for the garage I was collecting.  Immediately became aware of a horrendously howling nearside front wheel bearing.  About 30 seconds later said bearing seized. 

[] I didn't witness the breakdown in this case, but helping a friend recover one of their vintage coaches which had broken down while on hire, AEC based Duple Dominant II.  I just happened to be at his place when the call came in so of course offered to lend a hand.  The report we had was "it went bang then stopped a few minutes later."

Fearing the worst, we jumped in the next vehicle with enough seats to take over (a somewhat scruffy but strangely endearing old Bedford Y series with a hybrid Duple Dominant I and II body), with my mate trailing in my Metro with the toolboxes etc (like I was going to pass up a chance to drive the coach, why do you think I was there?), and made best speed to the scene.  At least they were in a lay by with a picnic area so there wasn't live traffic to worry about.

On arrival we made our apologies, shuffled everyone and their stuff onto the replacement vehicle and sent them on their way, then set about figuring out what we were dealing with.  Fully expecting to have to give in and call in a HGV recovery... that's expensive though and always felt like failure! 

It didn't take us long to work out *what* had happened.  Figuring out what to *do* about it took a bit longer.

Basically an engine mount had failed.  As in the casting had sheared clean off the engine block.  As a result the entire front end of the engine and gearbox had dropped by about eight inches, with the (by some miracle still intact) sump landing on the lower cross member.  That'll be the bang then...and that now being all that was holding the front of the engine in.  In itself that was an issue...but the additional problem was the collateral damage caused when the engine dropped.  Mainly that the thermostat housing had basically been guillotined off the front of the head by a chassis brace.  That'll be why it stopped then.

Not good.

However we were Scotsmen.  We'd both grown up on or next door to farms, so don't like being beaten.  We also reckon we'd have done bloody well on Scrapheap Challenge.

After a bit of head scratching we managed to with a combination of chains, bungee cords and ratchet straps to lift the engine back into roughly the right height.  It was off to one side because we'd basically strapped it to the nearside chassis rail at the bottom and floor support at the top, but the output shaft wasn't over-stretched thanks to the direction it was canted towards heading off to the rear end.

The thermostat housing was then bodged back in place using (no I'm not kidding) chewing gum, and yet another pair of ratchet straps around the head.  Leaked like a sieve, but the cooling system held something like six gallons of coolant so you could get away with a fair leak.  It only needed to make it 30 minutes or so back to base.

Conveniently the picnic area had a tap on site so we weren't reliant on the water we'd brought.  Pouring it in resulted in downright terrifying clanging and banging noises as the water reached the apparently still red hot engine (this was probably going on for two hours from the initial breakdown by this point!), but it mostly stayed where it was meant to.

I - very tentatively - hit the starter button.  She turned over...very lumpily, making it clear that at least one or two pistons were at least partly seized still...but then much to my surprise, started.  Running on about four and a half cylinders and smoking like a stone cold Deltic, but running. 

I didn't wait...My mate was slamming the covers shut as I was on the way out of where we were parked! 

Astonishingly, aside from a lot of extra engine noise due to the engine being basically now part of the chassis, she drove just fine back home.  I was obviously being gentle and driving with an excess of mechanical sympathy, but the horrible noises stopped after a few minutes, and the smoke cleared after a few miles.  Gauges all stayed where they belonged, and we made it back to the garage without incident.  I did stop at one point to dump some extra water in (at my house!) as a precaution, but that was it.  She was even idling happily on all six cylinders as if nothing had happened then.  Tough old engines those!

The coach lasted another few years until terminal rear end frame rot ended her days.  The engine did live to fight another day...in fact quite a few more after the mount was welded back on with a terrifyingly old school oxy-acytyline and filler for welding work.  It was destined to be rebuilt before going back into service...but that never happened because other projects got in the way.  As far as I know it's still going.  Was three or four years into regular use in another preserved bus when I last heard.

[] Best one of mine I can think of was back when I was commuting 70-120 miles a day in this.

Was coming over the brow of the A96 just on the inland side of Aberdeen at...honest sir...70 or so when there was a godawful bang, a vibration so severe I honestly thought I'd lost a wheel or something and a loss of drive.  I coasted to a halt and found the rotoflex coupling between the transfer box and rear propshaft had disintegrated.

Five minutes later said propshaft was unbolted and stowed in the boot.  The diff lock was engaged and I continued for home in front wheel drive only mode.  Total time lost about ten minutes - most of which was me trying to find a 17mm spanner in my disaster of a toolbox.

Only three times I've had to resort to recovery due to a breakdown.

[] Following this RTC.

... Though that wasn't any fault of mine and I don't really think counts as a breakdown.

[] Second one was also a Skoda.  An utter pain in the tail of a 135RiC which was a problem child the whole time I owned it.

This snapped the gear change linkage as I was leaving the car park I used at the time when we were on the way to visit the World Snooker Gran Prix when it was in Aberdeen.  Had it recovered back home the following day.   Did sort the gear linkage eventually but never drove the car again as half a dozen other things had by then gone wrong and I'd discovered several areas of structural filler.

I count that as my first actual breakdown recovery.

[] Number two was in my third Saab.

This randomly one day gradually lost power until cutting out while out carrying out site visits for work.  The symptom appeared like fuel starvation.  I couldn't work it out at the side of the road so was recovered.  On a tow bar, which was one of the most unnerving experiences of my driving life.  Second to doing the same but in a bus.  In the dark. And the rain. Especially when the door swung open and turned the cab lights on so I then couldn't see anything.

Eventually the issue was traced to a dodgy rotor arm.  After about two months and me having rebuilt half the injection system.

That was in 2008/9 I think.

[] Only other one was a couple of months ago.

When this happened and put an end to my day's motoring.

New CVT belt was fitted the following day and we were back up and running.  If I'd known it would take the recovery guy nearly five hours to arrive I'd have got a lift home, grabbed one of my ratty spare belts and sorted it at the roadside.  However they kept telling me that the truck would be there soon so I kept waiting.

[sutty2006]

2017 banger rally in a T reg v70 T5 we had bought for 500 quid (ahhh them were the days!) before we’d set off we had replaced a few items like the coolant expansion bottle that was cracked. Day 2 was Calais to Clermont Ferrad via Paris. We were the first to leave, early, to get into Paris and back out before mad rush hour. Only we got stuck on the inner ring road in traffic around 8 am and the radiator burst.

I had a go at repairing it but chemical metal on a plastic radiator wasn’t going to butter any parsnips.

 

So the AA were called. They sent a towey.... who spoke no English. So in typical English fashion I told him the radiator was fucked and he set about hooking it up...... obviously. 

 

 

it would only take one passenger, and there were 3 of us. So my brother Crazydave hopped in and me and Frank “the continental lover” had to get a taxi to the garage on the south side of Paris. Which was(nt) fun. 
 

and the volvo ended up at a garage at the south of Paris. Le garlic spannering mechanics pushed it into their workshop and a new Radiatour was ordered from Volvo. Then we had to take a taxi from the garage to a hotel next to Orly Airport and spend the night there which was .... 

 

The next day was boring. Nothing to do in that area. Not even anywhere to walk to. We were informed of a repair that afternoon and were re united with the ovloV around 4pm on Day 3. By this time the rest of the rally were already in Andorra. So we were a day and a half behind, and had this much catching up to do 

 

 

Which in a T5 was easy

 

 

and at 2am on day 4 we made it..... to everyone else suprise. 

 

 

[SRi05]

Quote

a very expensive noise occured

A late contender for POTY 😂

[bunglebus]

I think I've been pretty fortunate. I had a fuel pump fail on my air cooled VW T3 van when I was close to home, so had my mate tow me with a bar attached to his E30 320i. Electric fuel pump fitted as mechanical replacements were unobtainium at the time.

Also fuel related, in the same vehicle; I replaced the fuel tank with a 2nd hand replacement after getting wet feet the first time I brimmed it (that was a scary drive home with fuel tank in the middle and engine at the back). It was actually the steel breather hoses that were rotten, but the new tank came with the later plastic ones anyway. Anyway, new tank had two outlets, presumably one is a return for fuel injected versions, so I connected up one side and blanked the other off. A few days later I set off to Eastbourne to take my daughter home, about a 180 mile round trip. All was well until I started encountering some hills, when it became clear the engine was getting starved of fuel. Eventually it got bad enough that I had to stop, on the brow of a dark, windy hill in the rain. As luck would have it there was still a length of fuel hose in the footwell of the van, so I connected up the other side of the tank which required a longer run of hose, blanked off the previous side and all was well. Stayed like that until I sold the van years later - I don't know if there was gunk in the tank or if I connected it incorrectly in the first place.

I did manage to shred the drive belt on my Passat while overtaking a few dawdlers around the country lanes a few years ago - luckily I avoided the embarrassment of them passing me again by coasting into a turning out of sight! Belt had wound itself around everything so I pulled as much as possible out and drove a couple of miles without PAS or alternator to my boss's industrial unit and obtained a belt from the local garage. Was a right fight getting the bits of belt out from behind the water pump pulley (which I hadn't realised was also not being driven). The pump started to weep soon after, so was replaced along with the cambelt, as it was due.

Only other memorable one was being at a friend's house when another friend knocked on the door, he'd broken down on the bypass and had walked several miles to try and find me. This was before mobile phones were a thing. Mate 2 is a notorious bodger, and had stripped the thread on the distributor clamp on his MK1 Escort, so the timing was all over the place and it had overheated. Topped up with water and timing set to best guess, we made our way home while listening to the most unhappy engine I've ever heard, pinking and knocking like crazy. When we got there the outside of the head and block were sizzling and smoking. A later strip down revealed part of a piston crown had welded itself to the head.

[Jazoli]

Touch wood I've not had a breakdown that I haven't been able to get home in 20 years, the last one was on my FZR1000 on the outskirts of Torrevieja in Spain with no breakdown cover and no money, I had to push the bike over a km in 35 degree heat in full leather otherwise the bike would have been recovered by a traffico 'grua' and would have cost me €250 which I simply didn't have.

I managed to get my girlfriend (now wife) to borrow a transit van and come and get me, when she turned up we had to lift the bike into the van (all 250kgs of it, as she'd not brought a ramp or scaffold plank) and I had to sit on the bike for the journey home, which was fun as she'sd never driven a LHD van or anything bigger than a 306, its not an experience I'd like to repeat!

[Austin-Rover]

A decade ago we holidayed on the Costa Blanca, with the drive there and back part of the holiday. Transport of choice was a left hand drive Maestro 1.3. It had been thoroughly prepared and had some choice spare parts and tools in a box in the boot as an insurance policy. I'd also sourced decent breakdown cover, but if they didn't need to be called, all the better.

The holiday passed without incident, and we piled on the kilometres, even when we had arrived at our destination. On the journey home we ended up queueing for a toll booth on the motorway at the outskirts of Barcelona. It was very busy... and very hot and the car started to get very lumpy and reluctant to accelerate. We cleared the toll booth and managed to build up speed slowly, and get some air passing through the engine bay. Things returned to normal for a while. Heading inland towards Andorra on the C-16, the hills and the temperature started to take their toll. The final straw was finding the motorway was closed for a length through a tunnel and all the traffic was shunted off on to the old road. Crawling through the mountains in a queue of traffic caw us have to bail out and let the car cool down. Plenty of other stuff was struggling too. The road was so steep and tight in places, artics were scraping the rear of their trailers down the tarmac.

The fuel pump was diagnosed as the problem component. We had one in the boot, but didn't fancy the job at the side of the road. Again, we managed to get it going, and the plan was to limp to our hotel in Andorra and change the pump in the relative comfort of the hotel's basement car park. Once back on the motorway and not far from Andorra, the pump pumped its last and we bailed in to a large lay-by just before the three mile long Tunel del Cadi. We had a brief visit from a bemused Spanish Highways Agency equivalent, but he left quickly. Trying to line up all the components to bolt back in to the engine block was the worst part of the job! (pump > gasket > bracket for air pump > gasket > bakelite spacer > gasket > block) We made it back home without further incident.

A few years later, one dark and wet evening on the M62, the same car, heading up winy hill, eastbound; the wipers are getting slower and the lights dimmer. At the top of the hill, we bail out to the hard shoulder on the exit slip for Jct22. I report the dead alternator to the AA, who send out a local recovery firm with a flatbed. What follows is the most amazing piece of diagnostic work I have ever seen; I explain the alternator is dead. The driver looks under the bonnet and walks away to his truck. He returns with a small hammer, hits the alternator with it a few times and announces he has also decided the alternator is dead. Most odd!

 

[maxxo]

Forgot about another one involving the picasso, albeit before i owned it

december 2017, i had borrowed it to try and diagnose an issue for my grandparents (previous owners)

all was going well, diagnosed the issue as a wheel bearing, all good

nope not good, driving back i heard the infamous citroen beep

OH BALLS!

oh don't worry it's not like i'm 30 odd miles from home, in a diesel that only ever did short journeys on an ancient battery

i had thought the dash seemed quite dim

oh wait, it gets better!

it started to rain

the wipers were very slow

then the classic "airbag fault" then abs, then the brake warning light so was quite a christmas tree

i managed to get to my grandparents street when it cut out, obviously dead so i pushed it to outside their house

what they did was put a battery charger on it and then continue to drive it until it inevitably broke down again a few days later

my fault of course.....

which is the main reason why i don't particulary like my grandparents

[chaseracer]

I'm fairly sure I saw this parked outside the Tollgate pub on Holyhead Road (Coventry) a couple of years back, minus some of the stickers...

Could there BE another?!

[HMC]

34 minutes ago, Austin-Rover said:

A decade ago we holidayed on the Costa Blanca, with the drive there and back part of the holiday. Transport of choice was a left hand drive Maestro 1.3. It had been thoroughly prepared and had some choice spare parts and tools in a box in the boot as an insurance policy. I'd also sourced decent breakdown cover, but if they didn't need to be called, all the better.

The holiday passed without incident, and we piled on the kilometres, even when we had arrived at our destination. On the journey home we ended up queueing for a toll booth on the motorway at the outskirts of Barcelona. It was very busy... and very hot and the car started to get very lumpy and reluctant to accelerate. We cleared the toll booth and managed to build up speed slowly, and get some air passing through the engine bay. Things returned to normal for a while. Heading inland towards Andorra on the C-16, the hills and the temperature started to take their toll. The final straw was finding the motorway was closed for a length through a tunnel and all the traffic was shunted off on to the old road. Crawling through the mountains in a queue of traffic caw us have to bail out and let the car cool down. Plenty of other stuff was struggling too. The road was so steep and tight in places, artics were scraping the rear of their trailers down the tarmac.

The fuel pump was diagnosed as the problem component. We had one in the boot, but didn't fancy the job at the side of the road. Again, we managed to get it going, and the plan was to limp to our hotel in Andorra and change the pump in the relative comfort of the hotel's basement car park. Once back on the motorway and not far from Andorra, the pump pumped its last and we bailed in to a large lay-by just before the three mile long Tunel del Cadi. We had a brief visit from a bemused Spanish Highways Agency equivalent, but he left quickly. Trying to line up all the components to bolt back in to the engine block was the worst part of the job! (pump > gasket > bracket for air pump > gasket > bakelite spacer > gasket > block) We made it back home without further incident.

A few years later, one dark and wet evening on the M62, the same car, heading up winy hill, eastbound; the wipers are getting slower and the lights dimmer. At the top of the hill, we bail out to the hard shoulder on the exit slip for Jct22. I report the dead alternator to the AA, who send out a local recovery firm with a flatbed. What follows is the most amazing piece of diagnostic work I have ever seen; I explain the alternator is dead. The driver looks under the bonnet and walks away to his truck. He returns with a small hammer, hits the alternator with it a few times and announces he has also decided the alternator is dead. Most odd!

 

I love the driving lamps and yellow Tints. Looks period perfect for MAN IN EUROPE.

[HMC]

I Had the alternator die on a w124 250d on a long trip. The charging light came on on a long motorway slog. I stand to be corrected but I think a Diesel engine can run with no charging in the circuit so I figured if I conserved fuel I’d make it to my destination. Unfortunately light started to go so I turned off all electrics apart from the lights and stopped periodically to check on light output. Eventually the battery ran down and although the car was still drivable the lights were the problem so I gave up and called the breakdown company. 

[sutty2006]

33 minutes ago, chaseracer said:

I'm fairly sure I saw this parked outside the Tollgate pub on Holyhead Road (Coventry) a couple of years back, minus some of the stickers...

Could there BE another?!

I sold it to my friend after taking 90% of the stickers off. He then sold it to a bloke who wanted the engine for a 240 who I don’t know where lived.  Shame really. It was a bit moth eaten but by heck did it shift. 

[warch]

14 minutes ago, HMC said:

The charging light came on on a long motorway slog. I stand to be corrected but I think a Diesel engine can run with no charging in the circuit so I figured if I conserved fuel I’d make it to my destination. 

An old school diesel can run with no battery (I removed the battery from my old Nova after I'd started it before I drove it to the breaker's yard). I think common rail diesels won't operate without electricity. I have driven my petrol Land Rover about fifty miles on just the charge in the battery, a lead had dropped off the dynamo, it was pissing down so I couldn't be arsed to get out and refit it.

I've had quite a few breakdowns but only twice needed to call in the professionals. Once was in the previously mentioned Nova which belonged to my Mum at the time, I was driving her and my brother back from London on the M40, when it suddenly ceased, which turned out to be due to running out of diesel. I was quite calm, as I knew my Mum always kept a spare can of fuel in the boot. My Mum was slightly reticent about said fuel can, which turned out to be because she'd used the contents a few weeks previously and hadn't refilled it. Oh bollocks. Cue hour long wait on the hard shoulder in the fog (I think it was the week before Christmas and about 10 o'clock at night).  The recovery bloke turned up and towed us to the nearest services (J11 Banbury) which turned out to have been embarrassingly close to our fog obscured position, (we were only about 200yards from the slip road), so in actual fact I could have gone and bought a can's worth of fuel on foot. 

The other time was when my new to me Calibra Turbo dropped its exhaust onto the M6 after the collector to cat joining bolts had rusted away and snapped. The AA bloke used a clever jointing pipe to temporarily attach the pipe back together so I could get home. Unfortunately the bolt holes on the cat pipe were completely worn away by their brief encounter with the asphalt so I was looking at 350 quid for a replacement, until I chanced on an engineering shop in Ludlow who made and fitted a new bolt ring for only £22. 

[bunglebus]

Oh yeah, I ran out of fuel in my T3 too (why was it always fuel problems). I'd just joined the M25 from the M11 after leaving my dad's, so he was called to bring emergency supplies. Good old dad.

[Pieman]

In my old 206 I was driving to a job in Cannock once, pulled away from a roundabout when suddenly the revs went mad and afterwards it wouldn't run at all until the revs were just below the change-up point.  Limped it onto a supermarket car park and called the AA who towed me to the local Peugeot dealer, a busted coil pack was diagnosed and fairly swiftly replaced.  Then the following week I stuffed the thing into the back of a van. 🙄

[Zelandeth]

1 hour ago, Nyphur said:

Hahahaha I bet that was a right laugh.... 🥺

 

It is quite possibly the most terrified I have ever been while driving.

It had suffered some catastrophic mechanical failure requiring recovery.  None of the usual firms were available, so it was down to John, the ancient AEC which burned more oil and diesel, me and the tow bar.

Brakes were wound off (so I had no ability to brake), and we set off in the rapidly fading light.

My job is quite simple...follow the leader.   In a coach, with no power steering (but which is meant to have it, so is even heavier than a pre-PAS bus), when I can only see what's ahead of us as we turn left.

Then it started to rain.  The coach had air wipers.  There was about 50psi in the tanks when we set out.  While I used them as conservatively as I could I soon ran out of air.  With the wiper sitting smack in the middle of my sight line during the occasional blissful left turns where I got a glimpse of where we were going of course.

With it pissing with rain of course the windscreen immediately started to steam up...sod all I could do about that.  Though as it got dark that became even more terrifying as it meant all I could really see of the outside world was the lone working tail light on the tow vehicle.

Then we turned left over a particularly bumpy junction, and the passenger door swung open.  Lack of air pressure when we closed it meant it hadn't latched fully.  In itself this was unpleasant...as it now meant the full force of a windy, rainy February Scottish evening was now inside the bus as well as outside...so I was then getting drenched as well as frozen.  However right as the door swung fully open, the lights in the step well and directly above my head came on.  Suddenly all I could see in front of me was the reflection of my absolutely panic stricken looking face.  Think to myself "master switch...just kill all the electrics..." At which point I remembered that said master switch isn't on the dash on that particular vehicle... there's absolutely no chance in hell I could get to it.

We were about half an hour from base at that point, and had just turned into the main road.  Have you ever seen how much spray and crap a HGV kicks up on a wet road?  How much of that do you thing finds its way into your face it you're following 8' behind one with your door open?  As best I could tell the answer was "all of it."

Basically I spent the next half hour driving purely by using the force.  I guessed what way it felt like we were going and tried to remember the route.  Somehow we didn't die.

When we got there my mate walked round, saw me ashen faced, hands basically welded to the rim of the steering wheel and briefly looked concerned, right up to where he figured out what had happened.  At that point he just about pissed himself laughing.

I was still trying to wash the grit out of my hair about a week later I think.

It's a hilarious anecdote to look back on now, but was absolutely fscking terrifying at the time.

This was the main reason we mutually agreed it was essential for us to have two way Comms in situations like this going forward, so a decent pair of two way radios were added to the tool box.

[Low Horatio gearbox]

My first was driving to Cornwall in 2000 to visit my then girlfriend in a just that day bought Daimler 2.5 saloon (my first car, bought to impress  said girlfriend- she wasnt) and coming to a grinding halt on the A30 at night, in the rain in roadworks  and needing to be rescued by said girlfriends dad (who was impressed with the car, less so with having to drag  it 20 miles in the pissing dark and wet)  FTP was diagnosed the next morning as an optimistic fuel gauge and youthful stupidity/optimism .

 

My second was  about 8 years ago  on the M3. I saw a lump of.. something (lwhich turned out to be a large chunk of plasterboard that had fallen off a van or lorry)  not having time to change lanes I thought I'd cleared it when I heared a think as I went over it but all seemed fine. Well till a passing lady signed at me frantically and stopped on the hard shoulder to see the contents of the Pez tank waterfalling onto the hard shoulder.  Luckily I was a mile form fleet services (nothbound) and caned it to the top of the hill whence all the pez was gone, gone gone, and coasted  the last half Mike  into the car park . Closer inspection revealed  a 4 inch scrape  with a 1/2 inch hole and traces of plaster. Then it as thr trifling matter of dealing with the AA and eventually getting them to recover me home to East london (the first 2 call handlers said jt was an accident and I wasnt recoverable) the only excitement the  was the AA man arrive g 2 hours later stroling up and going thru the process  of sparking up a fag before he thought better.

[Jikovron]

I've had a few in the last 13years

Volvo 340 1.4 :

Water ingress to the coil stopped the engine after plowing through loads of deep water. Towelling off the coil sorted that

Propshaft wriggled off the splines once, then the repair to the clutch shaft spline snapped off. Had to get a tow back the second time and borrow a 6mm Allen key of a farmer the first time 

Lost all the oil from the sump (carried on with it knocking and randomly loosing power

Skoda 120l :

engine started knocking and tried to tighten up before freeing off and clattering horribly, managed to get home but the engine was never to run again.

locked out whilst it was running. Found a bit of coat hanger to get back in 

LT wire came off the coil. Reattached!

Alternator stopped charging and i bought a new battery which wasn't the issue.

Gearlinkage came off the gearbox (finger tightening sorted it enough to get home) 

Damper detached from the upper mount. Ignored till I got home

Bike carbs fell off the manifold, so  just the forced them back on 

Numerous HGF which meant river refills and short hops

Dolomite 1500/3500:

halfshaft hub key failed, towed back 

Severe crank bearing failure, drove it home sounding horrible

A plastic dwell adjusting nut failed in the distributor which luckily was the same thread as the case screws on the rangerover ecu,,,back in business!

Vapour locked in traffic so just waited it out till the engine bay cooled

Cracked block but still managed to rack up loads of miles with it cooling by evaporative loss 

Rear suspension arm collapse , gingerly drove home

Gearbox seizure , towed home

Skoda 120LS 

HGF x10 variable results from liveable to not running 

Alternator stopped charging x2 i needed to swap a battery off the wife's car and bump start that to get both back

Suzuki ignis 

Clutch cable clevis snapped , close to work so just welded it

Driveshaft failure, pushed home 

Proton 1300gls :

Clutch failure x2 towed the second time

Carb filter blockage ,punched it through with a pick 

Suspension arm failure ,gingerly returned home

metro 1.4 

Severe HGF unsympathetic driving got that home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[big_al_granvia]

16 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Not really had too many myself...few which stick in the mind.

[] Delivering an absolutely clapped out LDV Convoy for a friend.  At VMax (no speedometer, so guessing 60-ish) on the A90 roughly halfway between Aberdeen and Dundee, suddenly the already deafeningly loud noise from the gearbox/rear axle/both got massively louder.  For about 0.2 seconds.  Then there was a noise like a shotgun being set off in the cabin as the gearbox detonated.  This was the least of my worries as I suddenly found myself on a damp road on a windy day in an LDV with duff tracking, now no power steering and the rear wheels locked solid while I was still doing 60 or so.  Quite how I got it onto the verge still pointing the right direction I still don't know.

We never quite worked out whether the initial failure was the gearbox or the diff...both were badly worn, but one failed and locked up...which in turn took out the other.  There wasn't much left inside the gearbox bigger than the size of a matchbox.  It cracked the casing and bellhousing too.  The diff looked like someone had set off a hand grenade inside it.

[] Subaru Justy trade in for the garage I was collecting.  Immediately became aware of a horrendously howling nearside front wheel bearing.  About 30 seconds later said bearing seized. 

[] I didn't witness the breakdown in this case, but helping a friend recover one of their vintage coaches which had broken down while on hire, AEC based Duple Dominant II.  I just happened to be at his place when the call came in so of course offered to lend a hand.  The report we had was "it went bang then stopped a few minutes later."

Fearing the worst, we jumped in the next vehicle with enough seats to take over (a somewhat scruffy but strangely endearing old Bedford Y series with a hybrid Duple Dominant I and II body), with my mate trailing in my Metro with the toolboxes etc (like I was going to pass up a chance to drive the coach, why do you think I was there?), and made best speed to the scene.  At least they were in a lay by with a picnic area so there wasn't live traffic to worry about.

On arrival we made our apologies, shuffled everyone and their stuff onto the replacement vehicle and sent them on their way, then set about figuring out what we were dealing with.  Fully expecting to have to give in and call in a HGV recovery... that's expensive though and always felt like failure! 

It didn't take us long to work out *what* had happened.  Figuring out what to *do* about it took a bit longer.

Basically an engine mount had failed.  As in the casting had sheared clean off the engine block.  As a result the entire front end of the engine and gearbox had dropped by about eight inches, with the (by some miracle still intact) sump landing on the lower cross member.  That'll be the bang then...and that now being all that was holding the front of the engine in.  In itself that was an issue...but the additional problem was the collateral damage caused when the engine dropped.  Mainly that the thermostat housing had basically been guillotined off the front of the head by a chassis brace.  That'll be why it stopped then.

Not good.

However we were Scotsmen.  We'd both grown up on or next door to farms, so don't like being beaten.  We also reckon we'd have done bloody well on Scrapheap Challenge.

After a bit of head scratching we managed to with a combination of chains, bungee cords and ratchet straps to lift the engine back into roughly the right height.  It was off to one side because we'd basically strapped it to the nearside chassis rail at the bottom and floor support at the top, but the output shaft wasn't over-stretched thanks to the direction it was canted towards heading off to the rear end.

The thermostat housing was then bodged back in place using (no I'm not kidding) chewing gum, and yet another pair of ratchet straps around the head.  Leaked like a sieve, but the cooling system held something like six gallons of coolant so you could get away with a fair leak.  It only needed to make it 30 minutes or so back to base.

Conveniently the picnic area had a tap on site so we weren't reliant on the water we'd brought.  Pouring it in resulted in downright terrifying clanging and banging noises as the water reached the apparently still red hot engine (this was probably going on for two hours from the initial breakdown by this point!), but it mostly stayed where it was meant to.

I - very tentatively - hit the starter button.  She turned over...very lumpily, making it clear that at least one or two pistons were at least partly seized still...but then much to my surprise, started.  Running on about four and a half cylinders and smoking like a stone cold Deltic, but running. 

I didn't wait...My mate was slamming the covers shut as I was on the way out of where we were parked! 

Astonishingly, aside from a lot of extra engine noise due to the engine being basically now part of the chassis, she drove just fine back home.  I was obviously being gentle and driving with an excess of mechanical sympathy, but the horrible noises stopped after a few minutes, and the smoke cleared after a few miles.  Gauges all stayed where they belonged, and we made it back to the garage without incident.  I did stop at one point to dump some extra water in (at my house!) as a precaution, but that was it.  She was even idling happily on all six cylinders as if nothing had happened then.  Tough old engines those!

The coach lasted another few years until terminal rear end frame rot ended her days.  The engine did live to fight another day...in fact quite a few more after the mount was welded back on with a terrifyingly old school oxy-acytyline and filler for welding work.  It was destined to be rebuilt before going back into service...but that never happened because other projects got in the way.  As far as I know it's still going.  Was three or four years into regular use in another preserved bus when I last heard.

[] Best one of mine I can think of was back when I was commuting 70-120 miles a day in this.

Was coming over the brow of the A96 just on the inland side of Aberdeen at...honest sir...70 or so when there was a godawful bang, a vibration so severe I honestly thought I'd lost a wheel or something and a loss of drive.  I coasted to a halt and found the rotoflex coupling between the transfer box and rear propshaft had disintegrated.

Five minutes later said propshaft was unbolted and stowed in the boot.  The diff lock was engaged and I continued for home in front wheel drive only mode.  Total time lost about ten minutes - most of which was me trying to find a 17mm spanner in my disaster of a toolbox.

Only three times I've had to resort to recovery due to a breakdown.

[] Following this RTC.

... Though that wasn't any fault of mine and I don't really think counts as a breakdown.

[] Second one was also a Skoda.  An utter pain in the tail of a 135RiC which was a problem child the whole time I owned it.

This snapped the gear change linkage as I was leaving the car park I used at the time when we were on the way to visit the World Snooker Gran Prix when it was in Aberdeen.  Had it recovered back home the following day.   Did sort the gear linkage eventually but never drove the car again as half a dozen other things had by then gone wrong and I'd discovered several areas of structural filler.

I count that as my first actual breakdown recovery.

[] Number two was in my third Saab.

This randomly one day gradually lost power until cutting out while out carrying out site visits for work.  The symptom appeared like fuel starvation.  I couldn't work it out at the side of the road so was recovered.  On a tow bar, which was one of the most unnerving experiences of my driving life.  Second to doing the same but in a bus.  In the dark. And the rain. Especially when the door swung open and turned the cab lights on so I then couldn't see anything.

Eventually the issue was traced to a dodgy rotor arm.  After about two months and me having rebuilt half the injection system.

That was in 2008/9 I think.

[] Only other one was a couple of months ago.

When this happened and put an end to my day's motoring.

New CVT belt was fitted the following day and we were back up and running.  If I'd known it would take the recovery guy nearly five hours to arrive I'd have got a lift home, grabbed one of my ratty spare belts and sorted it at the roadside.  However they kept telling me that the truck would be there soon so I kept waiting.

you sir are a fucking legend

[Austin-Rover]

3 hours ago, HMC said:

I love the driving lamps and yellow Tints. Looks period perfect for MAN IN EUROPE.

They're proper clip on yellow glass shrouds rather than yellow bulbs. Quite fragile, but look the part.

[Andrew353w]

I must say I'm loving this thread! I've been driving stratospheric mileages for over 40 years in mostly strange and weird vehicles and have called out the breakdown services once or twice, but I honestly can't remember any horror stories! I agree with you all, that during our younger years we do things we would NEVER do now!  If any "nightmares" come to mind I'll add them to the thread.

YES I DO! I was driving a Ford Fiesta from Heathrow to Barnet for repair when I managed to F.T.P. on the Hanger Lane Roundabout.... on a Friday..... at 5pm...... Boy was I popular? (NOT!) I think I was personally responsible for bringing a large proportion of west London to a standstill that evening, and even earning a mention on the "flying eye" reports! I waited AGES for the AA guy, who was probably stuck in the jam I had created! He  diagnosed a blown fuse powering the fuel pump: 30 seconds later and I was on my way again!   Happy days! 

[artdjones]

The Saturday before I got married I was going over to Bristol (where my soon-to-be wife lived) for the weekend. I lived in Cardiff. The plan was that I would bring a lot of her possessions back with me to the flat we were moving to. As that would include a bicycle I borrowed my brother's 1.3 Marina estate. About three miles from Chepstow on the M4 the engine seized up. I coasted in to the hard shoulder and tried to restart but couldn't as it had completely locked up so all I got was a clunk. I'd stopped exactly halfway between two emergency telephones so was faced with walking a few hundred yards in the pouring rain. I then realised I'd forgotten my coat. So I wandered back in the lashing rain to the emergency phone in my sports jacket. When I got there I picked up the receiver and found the phone was broken. So I walked towards the phone in front of the car, still in driving rain. As I passed the car I thought, "let's try one more time". It only started and ran, but with a nasty knock. It wouldn't run at more than 30mph, so I drove up the hard shoulder to the turnoff and then dumped it in a free car park in Chepstow. (They still existed in 1987) and got the National Welsh bus back to Cardiff. My brother got the car towed home while I was on honeymoon, I bought a rusty Marina with a good engine for £30 when I got back, and it was resuscitated only to fail it's Mot disastrously on 18 failure points about 8 months later. Later that day in my own Princess 2.0 the thermostat stuck shut while traversing the Severn Bridge. I stopped at Avonmouth services, got the cap off the housing , and managed to jam the stat open with a screwdriver. I went the back way to Bristol, stopping at a garage to put at least half a gallon of water in to the sound of some strange roaring noises as it coursed through the head. The engine was running fine after this episode -the O Series is tough-, but I was more than somewhat stressed when I got to my destination. The Princess was scrapped less than two months later at less than 9 years old as the auto box was slipping.

[Isaac Hunt]

Morris Ital 1.7 SL, Coventry to Solihull.  It was a two year old fleet car with a really smooth engine, we called it the rocket cos it went so well. 

it got driven hard and a mate said “this will get to 80k and it will go bang”

way home late one night, I’d done a good stretch on M6 ‘flat’, swept onto the M42 still flat.  Just past the Solihull junction, outside lane, still flat, there was a ‘cough’ and a ‘miss’ and then again, and again, foot was still hard down,  then another couple of coughs in rapid succession followed by a ‘very loud bang’.  I glanced in the rear view mirror to see sparks behind me and now a permanent misfire, foot kept hard down.  I got off the M42 onto the A34 and managed to get over about 3 roundabouts by timing gaps in traffic, but at the fourth, had to stop.  Tried keeping the Revs up but it conked.

AA chap reckoned cambelt, I begged to differ and I got towed home.

I low balled the fleet manager and it was mine.  Head off and there it was, head had dropped off a valve and embedded itself in the top of the piston edgeways, made a right mess off the head.  When I got the piston out it had split it like an axe through a log.

I got a secondhand head, went down the engine reconditioners and asked for one piston and a rod.  The old boy engineer said ‘your not supposed to do that’ to which I replied ‘supposed to and doing are two different things’.  He muttered about the youth of the day and sold me a single piston.  He was still shaking his head as I left the store.

I put it all together and it was fine.  It had lost its ‘sparkle’ but it ran ok, just didn’t quite fly like it did prior to its failure.

mileage was 82k and my mate was spot on with his prediction.  I always reckonned that the valve failure was due to 80 odd k of redlining it up through the gears.  It had already had a secondhand axle in it cos the diff had let go.  

When you drove it like you stole it

[bunglebus]

Low Horatio Gearbox's tale of trying to impress a young lady reminds me, many moons ago I started seeing this girl and took her out in my 3 door Sierra. We ended up parked at the end of a lane in a spot that was pretty notorious as a place couples go for a bit of alone time. 

Having sat there chatting (honestly!) for a few hours  with the music playing - the battery went flat, and despite both of us trying to bump start it, uphill, it wasn't having it so we started buzzing the intercoms of a few of the posh houses further up the road. Funny enough we didn't find many people willing to help a couple of complete strangers disturbing their evenings but eventually one was persuaded to contact the girl's dad, who turned up and jump started my Sierra without saying a word to me. Funny enough she went home with him and I took the Sierra home alone. 

[bunglebus]

Oh and the time I was  stuck in heavy traffic trying to get out of Lakeside in my Renault 5, and discovered it had two faults - the fan switch didn't work, and nor did the warning light to tell me it was overheating (no gauge). A sift through the roadside detritus netted me a bit of wire to bridge the fan switch and I was on my way again

[Patent]

2009 BINI. Spent half a day wiring in some spot lamps, pleased as punch with my efforts. Went for a drive the next day and pulled over to connect my phone. Start stop engaged. When I depressed the clutch the car lost all electrics.

I was forced to pay to join the AA at the roadside, AA man couldn't find a fault. Towed it to mini who charged a £50 diagnostics fee to tell me that "someone" had taken the bolt off the main earth lead at the body and the cable had fallen off. 

Oops! 

 

[Bradders59]

Thursday morning  7am ( new years eve) I was on my way to work in my Clio DCi.  Pulled out to overtake a truck on the A12 and red STOP light appears on the dash accompanied by audible warning beeps, with unpleasant sound and loss of power from the engine.

First thought was "I aint fucking stopping, Im less than 10 minutes from work". It slowly sounded worse and lost more power, to the point where I was driving along the hard shoulder with hazards on at 30 mph. Just as I pulled off the A12 at Hatfield Peveral it died altogether going up the slip road.

Freewheeled into the car park of a little Cafe at the top of the slip road feeling very pissed of with the pile of French plastic / cardboard / recycled bean cans.

5 minute drive from work, or an hour walk, if my fucked right leg would hold out long enough to get me there.

Went in the Cafe and asked if I could dump it there, and the nice lady not only said it was fine but called me a taxi, so 15 minutes later and a tenner poorer I arrived at work only 15 minutes late.

Once I had a cup of tea and a think, I recalled that one of the injector seals had been making a chuffing sound recently and I actually had a new set in the glovebox that I was going to fit once I got the busy Christmas work rota out of the way. Problem is, the car sits a couple of miles away. so I cant find out if that is indeed the problem.

A half hour later the cleaner arrives, to finish doing the deep clean he does during the holiday. He asks where my car is and I tell him my tale of woe.

He offered to take me back to the car and tow it to work so I could try and fix it. He then had a look around his brand new pickup truck but cant see what he would tie a tow rope on to, and worried about damaging it, he drove four miles home to swap over to his other car which has a towbar.

We drove to where my car was and it actually reluctantly started. It sounded rougher than a Badgers arse, but I drove it gently back to work, where a quick look under the bonnet confirmed the injector seal theory, due to a lot of black soot around the injector.

I was all set to do the job, despite the minus 2 temperatures, but was lacking a Torx bit to undo the injector retaining clamp.

The cleaner then shot off back home again and returned with a set of Torx bits and I was in business. I owe that man a case of beer next time I see him.

I then ran into a problem. I couldnt get the old injector seal out of its recess. I had the bright idea of using a long, coarse threaded bolt to wind into the soft copper and lift it out. Had a practice run on one of the new seals and it looked like it would work. However, the old seal having been squashed in order to form a seal when it was fitted, meant the hole in the middle was bigger, so the bolt dropped straight through and sat snugly at the bottom of the recess.

I spent about an hour and a half trying everything from Blu tack, to sticky grease with no joy. Hunted high and low for something resembling  a magnet on a stick, but nothing.

Eventually came across a pair of long nosed tweezers, and after about 10 frustrating near misses managed to get the bolt back out.

Then used the tweezers to lift the old seal out, and 10 minutes later the car was up and running again.

As I sat inside warming up I was pleased to notice that my usually fragile back hadnt  given me any trouble while I spent a couple of hours messing around under the bonnet in the cold, so all was well that ended well.

Yesterday morning when I got out of the shower, I bent down and lifted my left leg to dry it and it suddenly felt like someone had shoved a red hot poker up my spine. Bastard thing is playing mind games I think. Lulled me into a false sense of security and then wallop.

The reason Im sat here typing all this crap after 5 hours sleep is that it hurts like fuck and wakes me up when I turn over in my sleep. So I gave in and got up.

Back to work tonight for a run of 5 nightshifts, which I could do without. If the pile of French shite breaks down again the tool of choice will be a Swan Vesta.

[bunglebus]

31 minutes ago, Bradders59 said:

 I owe that man a case of beer next time I see him

I reckon! That was exceptionally decent of him

[Bradders59]

It certainly was. He is a bit of a petrol head, so was keen to help. I kept telling him I didnt want to put him to any trouble, but he wasnt having it.

It restored my faith in human nature somewhat. Sometimes life can make us think everyone is an arsehole, but things like that can remind us that most people are basically decent.