Grimmest car of all time

[Squirrel2]

2 hours ago, SiC said:

At least that is practical with the hatchback boot. What's worse?

Genuinely had a nightmare once that I owned one. 

We had one of these in the car pool where I worked in the early nineties- it was utterly dire in every way. If I recall it used to regularly shat itself, losing engine oil, coolant and brake fluid at odd and always inconvenient times.

 

squirrel2

 

[goosey]

1 hour ago, SiC said:

Miserable but not grimmest surely. At least they're rock solid reliable. So you will be driving You may have a glum face on when driving it, but it's better that than having a glum face sat on the hard shoulder. 

Was brand new when I had it, felt very cheap and fragile compared to the previous generation primeras.

 

[doubleyeller]

I think that the Yugo 45 probably wins the day overall, would love another though. So underpowered you could actually change gear without the clutch...

Honorable mentions to: FSO Polonez, Polo Sdi saloon, Seat Marbella, Daewoo Nexia, Renault 9, Citroen LN

But still, the R21 saloon.....it's close between that and the Yugo for the win methinks!

 

[Popsicle]

20 minutes ago, Squirrel2 said:

We had one of these in the car pool where I worked in the early nineties- it was utterly dire in every way. If I recall it used to regularly shat itself, losing engine oil, coolant and brake fluid at odd and always inconvenient times.

 

squirrel2

 

My Uncle had a brand new 1.6 lx auto J reg, in some strange light green colour, it had a horrible cvt box. It was cheap as on the Ford options 1-2-3 thing or whatever it was called at the time. First brand new car I'd ever driven, what a piece of shit, with no redeeming features. Slow, noisy, uneconomical, harsh ride, handled like a boat and such a cheap, plasticy nasty interior. Made my 2.0 gl A reg Sierra seem like a roller. He didn't keep it long and was soon wafting around in one of the first Mondeo's I'd ever seen.

[Supernaut]

Series Land Rovers.

[Skut]

Astras of this generation and general demeanor. Automotive depressant.

 

 

[NorthernMonkey]

1 hour ago, Gerrymcd said:

Sorry, I have to defend the Micra 😂.

....I'd happily own another without feeling upset about it.

This may well be your lucky day.... 😂

[Spiny Norman]

Spool back to 2001, I was working in a large now defunct electrical retailer with an arsehole of a manager running* the shop. His company vehicle was an R reg Astra 1.7TD estate in that rather nice bottle green metallic they used to come in. Can't remember the exact model but it had nice velour trim, a decent stereo, alloys, and despite its 200k miles was a generally agreeable thing to punt around in.
It was due for replacement and he started bumming that he'd be getting a new Focus estate, "Probably a Ghia with a CD player" he reckoned (Imagine Arnold Rimmer managing a failing branch of Comet).

Well it turned up and it wasn't a Focus. It was in fact the worst brand new car I'd  experienced since an FSO Polonez.
A Mk6 Escort non-turbo diseasel in Encore spec or whatever they called the one with 4 keep fit windows, basic cloth trim, no tints, black bumpers, two speaker radio cassette.  plastic wheeltrims and a diagram of the aerial view of the  car on the dash because you weren't even worth a clock, in a colour I can't find online probably because nobody has ever wanted to document it, but was a non metallic blood clot reddish brown.It was hideous and it drove as badly as it looked. The fleet manager must have been thrilled to find such a worthy* recipient for this turkey.

The staff was mostly car aware young guys and we pissed ourselves when we saw what his bosses thought of him, and he was gone 6 months later.

[ChinaTom]

You don’t know grim until you have driven a TJ7100 1.0 XiaLi for 6 hours along a motorway.

[warren t claim]

The last of the RWD Nissan Sunnys were a pretty shit driving experience.

[warren t claim]

A 1.1 Talbot Horizon deserves a mention on this list.

[vulgalour]

Before you accuse me of Vauxhall bashing, I offer in my defense the Corsa B I used to own that should have been grim central but was actually a great little car that I'll have no bad word said about.  No, the grimmest award goes to the automatic flavour of Vauxhall Omega.

 

It's about expectation, I think, on this one.  On paper, this shouldn't be a grim experience.  Fit and finish is generally very acceptable, it hustles along quite well and the interior, for what the car is, isn't that unfriendly especially since the one I was using had the velour rather than the leather.  Trouble is, after a while driving it, everything just felt.. wrong.  The soft-touch plastic that had degraded just enough to make you not want to look at it, let alone touch it.  The inviting looking velour seats that got more uncomfortable the longer you were in them.  The automatic gearbox that seemed to forget what it was doing. The engine that felt like it was on a delayed response.  The steering wheel that was just a bit to thick and even though it didn't obscure the gauges, you felt like it was.  The slightly claustrophobic feel of the interior.  The way it felt substantial and yet flimsy at the same time, like the whole car was carved from a really good christmas cake.

It was one of those cars that I felt relief every time I got out of it, and a sigh of resignation every time I had to get behind the wheel.  On paper, a thoroughly competent and reasonable machine.  In practice, just grim on wheels.

 

[chancer]

3 hours ago, Gerrymcd said:

Sorry, I have to defend the Micra 😂.

Far worse out there to look at/drive. We had an 03 reg for 3 years, that looked exactly the same (1.0 e trim in red). 

Slow, but comfy, reliable (round trip from Glasgow to Cardiff every month), excellent headlights and enough kit that it didn't feel poverty spec. I'd happily own another without feeling upset about it.

I'll also chip in and defend the K12 micra. I bid on one on ebay whilst pished one night, no idea why i was even looking at them, and no recollection of even bidding until i got the 'you won, please pay' email. Anyways, i owned my stupidity and collected the car that day. It was honestly the most fun car ive had in a long time. It was a Sport+, came with full mot, new tyres and it was fully loaded equipment wise. Felt faster than it had any reason to be, never let me down and looked fantastic. Wish i had kept it now.

[MJK 24]

How they ever thought mediocre crap like this could replace the Lupo is beyond me...  Complete landfill.

[chaseracer]

7 hours ago, HMC said:

This probably fitted the description in 1988. Screenshot from “Shirley Valentine” Just now on telly. Was scrapped that same year.

In 1985, I went to the oval at Grimley near Worcester to watch the stock car racing.  As ever, there were bangers on the card.  

The car in front of me in the queue was very like the Cortina in the pic - same colour, same age, similar condition.  Once we were in I went one way, he went another.

We had a good view of the pits from our perch on the banking - so we were able to watch the Cortina having its windows & lights kicked out and most of the interior thrown into a convenient skip.  The days of PROPER GRIFF BUILD M8.

It did quite well, until it tangled with the cable fencing after terminal understeer and got followed in.  Hard.

[Sham]

Vauxhall Meriva MK1.

I don't even feel the need to elaborate.

 

 

 

[New POD]

8 hours ago, bunglebus said:

This

Not even ugly in a good way like a Citroen Ami or VW type 4. I had a good look over one thinking there must be at least a clever bit of design somewhere but no. Just awful

The clever bit of the design is 6 seats AND a decent boot. Six is the perfect number for an average family. Husband, wife, 2 kids,  and 2 grand parents.

[New POD]

4 hours ago, vulgalour said:

Before you accuse me of Vauxhall bashing, I offer in my defense the Corsa B I used to own that should have been grim central but was actually a great little car that I'll have no bad word said about.  No, the grimmest award goes to the automatic flavour of Vauxhall Omega.

 

It's about expectation, I think, on this one.  On paper, this shouldn't be a grim experience.  Fit and finish is generally very acceptable, it hustles along quite well and the interior, for what the car is, isn't that unfriendly especially since the one I was using had the velour rather than the leather.  Trouble is, after a while driving it, everything just felt.. wrong.  The soft-touch plastic that had degraded just enough to make you not want to look at it, let alone touch it.  The inviting looking velour seats that got more uncomfortable the longer you were in them.  The automatic gearbox that seemed to forget what it was doing. The engine that felt like it was on a delayed response.  The steering wheel that was just a bit to thick and even though it didn't obscure the gauges, you felt like it was.  The slightly claustrophobic feel of the interior.  The way it felt substantial and yet flimsy at the same time, like the whole car was carved from a really good christmas cake.

It was one of those cars that I felt relief every time I got out of it, and a sigh of resignation every time I had to get behind the wheel.  On paper, a thoroughly competent and reasonable machine.  In practice, just grim on wheels.

 

I've owned an automatic Omega for more than 4 years and taken it from 163k to 232k and I dispute your facts. 

Mine has leather not fabric, and being a facelift does have painted plastic on the door trim, which isn't durable. 

There are a few known weak spots in the design. 

Powersounders thar burst into flames. 

Wishbones that are made of cheese.

A crank case breather system that blocks.

Coil packs that rust.

Pre-Cats that stop being effective.

Gearboxes that stick in 3rd (when hot)

Oil coolers that mix oil into the coolant. 

One thing, I would never accuse it of is being uncomfortable.  I'd happily sit behind the wheel for 4 hours and be able to walk afterwards.

The other is that they might  be slow off the mark. Nah. Press the sport button and press the right hand peddle all the way down, and you'll soon be doing 120 mph. 

 

[Angrydicky]

I'm with @Split_Pin on the MK1 Megane. I've never driven one admittedly, but I think the styling is really nice and the interiors look very comfy.

Much prettier to look at than the later Meganes, anyway.

[Jazoli]

10 hours ago, Cavcraft said:

The Escort van, especially in diesel flavour is. Sorry @bub2006, I know you like them but even the thought of them brings me out in a cold sweat.

It's the horrible smell of those horrible interiors and that dreadful, dreadful wanky asthmatic boat anchor of an engine.

This, 100% with the hatch and saloon in the runners up positions.

Company I worked for had the vans as delivery vehicles and the reps (me) got 1.8d n/a estates, they are/were without doubt the most miserable vehicle on the planet, there are no redeeming features whatsoever, they were worn out at 18 months old and built really badly.

The 306's that finally replaced them felt like a quantum leap in quality/driveability and refinement which they were.

[Jamie]

Runs... 

[Supernaut]

6 hours ago, vulgalour said:

Before you accuse me of Vauxhall bashing, I offer in my defense the Corsa B I used to own that should have been grim central but was actually a great little car that I'll have no bad word said about.  No, the grimmest award goes to the automatic flavour of Vauxhall Omega.

 

It's about expectation, I think, on this one.  On paper, this shouldn't be a grim experience.  Fit and finish is generally very acceptable, it hustles along quite well and the interior, for what the car is, isn't that unfriendly especially since the one I was using had the velour rather than the leather.  Trouble is, after a while driving it, everything just felt.. wrong.  The soft-touch plastic that had degraded just enough to make you not want to look at it, let alone touch it.  The inviting looking velour seats that got more uncomfortable the longer you were in them.  The automatic gearbox that seemed to forget what it was doing. The engine that felt like it was on a delayed response.  The steering wheel that was just a bit to thick and even though it didn't obscure the gauges, you felt like it was.  The slightly claustrophobic feel of the interior.  The way it felt substantial and yet flimsy at the same time, like the whole car was carved from a really good christmas cake.

It was one of those cars that I felt relief every time I got out of it, and a sigh of resignation every time I had to get behind the wheel.  On paper, a thoroughly competent and reasonable machine.  In practice, just grim on wheels.

 

That is precisely the experience I had with my Omega. It was just so disappointing.

However, I will add that I thought the interior was utterly fucking shit. I physically cringed every time I opened or closed the door, it felt that badly made.

The seats actively hurt me after any length of time driving it (no other car has managed that, even a series Land Rover), and the gearbox really had no clue what it was doing. It wasn't sticking in 3rd while hot, it was just downright stupid. It wasn't in sport mode but would kick down at the slightest touch of the pedal even though it had a big torquey V6 so shouldn't need to do that. It was irritating and soul-destroying to drive. I owned it all of 3 months and was so relieved to see it finally fuck off, even though I made a substantial loss on it.

 

Conversely, I've also experienced a 2003 Astra estate 1.7TD with 200k on the clocks. It was fine. The interior felt better built than the Omega, and it functioned really well as AN CAR which the Omega utterly, dismally failed to do.

[Jamie]

11 hours ago, sdkrc said:

I'd like to propose the 2004 BMW X3 as the grimmest car of all time. Can anyone top this?

Base spec: cloth, 2.0 diesel, non-colour coded bumpers, mid 00s BMW reliability*

I can think of fewer cars which evoke such powerful sighs.

I take your base spec x3 and raise you to a 2.0 PEZ version! Imagine the misery. At least the diesel has the torque, a 2.0 4 pot petrol wouldn't be able to get out of its own way! 

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/124462561673

[Dick Longbridge]

5 hours ago, chancer said:

I'll also chip in and defend the K12 micra. I bid on one on ebay whilst pished one night, no idea why i was even looking at them, and no recollection of even bidding until i got the 'you won, please pay' email. Anyways, i owned my stupidity and collected the car that day. It was honestly the most fun car ive had in a long time. It was a Sport+, came with full mot, new tyres and it was fully loaded equipment wise. Felt faster than it had any reason to be, never let me down and looked fantastic. Wish i had kept it now.

I can only assume they have the smell of stale piss built into the interior, unless the box is unticked when ordering. 

[ruffgeezer]

11 hours ago, Fumbler said:

Indeed it is. Cannington, where my college is, is second to being the most uninspiring and uninviting clump of buildings. Horrible area to stay in.

Ha, I got stabled there when I went to Bridgwater college on block release.

 

It is utterly charmless!

[NorfolkNWeigh]

20 minutes ago, Dick Longbridge said:

I can only assume they have the smell of stale piss built into the interior, unless the box is unticked when ordering. 

Don’t worry that smell will no doubt get overpowered by curry, pizza etc , just like previous Micras.

[bunglebus]

I can't quite believe I'm saying it, but MK5/6 Escorts weren't the grimmest ever. They were just so damn mediocre. Mine never actually let me down and wasn't actually bad to drive being a 1.8 Ghia saloon, it just always had niggling problems like the fusebox and stalks having gremlins and every bolt and fixing being rusted to fuck despite not being especially old. I have put three in the crusher including mine and lose no sleep over it whatsoever 

[MikeR]

Fiat Tipo , it ended my run of Fiats and is now classed as banned , as is any Vauxhall shite .

the Fiat would break down every month and would cost at least 100notes in parts , it handled like a dead whale and the gearbox was crap

and it was supposed to be rust proof ......

[NorfolkNWeigh]

44 minutes ago, Jamie said:

Runs... 

Seriously think we have a winner.  Most other suggestions have an element of just not liking them for whatever reason. These are the definition of grim,  their whole raison d’etre is based on grimness . Mostly polio sufferers and WW2 veterans who had grim wounds that meant the price they paid for saving their country was to have one of these death traps foisted on them. As a nation we should be ashamed that this was the best the mighty British motor industry could be bothered to make.  If BMC thought there was any money in it they could have pointed Issigonnis at the problem. Likewise Ford, Vauxhall, Rootes, nobody cared so this is what they got. Sorry curiosity fans they are the very definition of grim, I was scared of them when I was a kid and still get very uncomfortable seeing Dollywobbler’s japes as an able bodied man , making money from YouTube from this time in our history that really should be a reminder in a museum of how badly disabled people were treated in the 60’s and 70’s.

oh, and Merry Christmas.

[fairkens]

11 hours ago, danthecapriman said:

Sadly I lived that nightmare!

Mine was an H reg 1.4glx and it was a fucking pile of absolute wet dog shit.

But...

I hate other cars more! Most of which are French.

My mum had a turbodiesel one of these when I was learning to drive, so I'm quite nostalgic about them. Clutch was very heavy but the seats were comfy and you could get a decent amount of bass out of the speakers, obvs v important when 17.

I much preferred driving it to the 1.2 Corsa b that replaced it