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Kiwi Kar Konundrums - Parky2 adventures so far

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Wheel four is complete and the car now wears 4 black steelies.  It’s like if Tosh Lines started his own independent CID unit and was short on funds.  

Have CID ever seen a wheeltrim?  They must be awfully confused by these plastic discs at the side of the road.

”Hello 999 how can I help you?”

”Y-y-yes there’s a b-bank robbery on the high street happening now!  They’re running to a car!  It’s not very big or quick by the looks of it”

”OK sir, hold on the line and we’ll alert local officers”

tssssssssk Oscar Charlie two four come in over tssssssk

tssssk Oscar Charlie go ahead over tsssssk


tsssssk Oscar Charlie, bank robbery, high street.  Suspects fleeing in low powered vehicle over tssssssk

tssssk Control, Oscar Charlie, I have the perfect vehicle and am in pursuit over tsssssk


Admit it, that was just like being there wasn’t it?

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Have decided my low budget Kiwi Cop Drama is going to be called Supercat and Hifly after my tyres.

Supercat Is a vibrant, ambitious young Maori with a dark family past.  Hifly wears a coat and looks at things.  That’s as far as I have got so far.  Think low budget Wallander / Beverly Hills Cop mash up and you aren’t too far off.  Ronnie Hazlehurst can’t do the soundtrack so it’s me, some tea, and Isaac Hayes in the background working on that.

He wears a coat and looks at things, the other shoots the bullet stings

The mob they run, our boys pursue, Supercat shoots Hifly looks at you

Its Supercat and Hifly!! (Choice bro)

Supercat and Hifly!!!!!!

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Just got a flyer from Mitre 10.  Think B&Q with an antipodean accent.

Castrol GTX ultraclean 15/40w - ideal for the Mitsi - $23.18

Castrol Edge 5/30w Down from $80 to $48.  That sorts the Suzuki.

One filter to buy and $71 on oil for both cars.  Yup, bargain.


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I have used a chain called   OIL CHANGERS for my last few services The Maxima cost about $75 for oil and filter change, takes about 20 minutes , no booking, jobs are done in customer arrival order. Also had the SD1's transmission done there. My nearest branch is in Rotorua so a good 40 minute drive to get the old oil well mixed and heated.

Oil Changers | Hassle-Free Car Servicing Christchurch & NZ Wide

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Good point Stuno, I have seen them about.  Our local garage will do me a change but only using their own stuff.  Ryco filters and Fuchs oil.  The Fuchs I am happy about but not at the $100+ they charge for it.  Anyway I like doing it, bit of mans work never hurt anyone

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Well it was a nice day, I had my stuff prepared and I fancied it.  Let’s do this....


The initial plan was to let the Pela do the majority of the work, and then I would do a bottom drain on the residual.  However the Pela did a sterling job and managed to extract three litres out of 3.3l capacity in next to no time.  The cheap ass filter wasn’t particularly tight and for literally the first time in my life I had an oil filter that I could undo by hand.  Result.  Managed to catch virtually all the old oil on extraction, cleaned up, and spun on a new Ryco replacement.  I am not very happy with the recommended filters, the diameter seems to be a little smaller than it should be so I don’t think the seal is fully engaged on the flat surface.  I might order a cheapie from the U.K. and compare or splash out on genuine next time.   I didn’t bother removing the sump nut as it was one more thing to go wrong and I had managed to get at least 3.2 litres of old oil out of the car. That’ll do.  

In went some Castrol GTX Ultraclean 15w/40 semi synth.  $23 from Mitre 10 and that’s incredibly cheap.


Next up was a gearbox drain.  This was very easy indeed.  The old fluid, dirty as it was still seemed to have some lubricity and was the correct amount.  It wasn’t strictly necessary to do but by the time I had established it wasn’t necessary, the oil was in a tray on the floor.  Might as well put the Total 75/80 synthetic I had in my stash to work.  It is a bit thinner than the Mitsubishi recommendation (75/85) but should be alright.  If the box complains I will drop in some thicker stuff.  


Cleaned up a bit, looks much better.  That cracked and broken washer bottle neck annoys me still.....


Well, I’m not spending money on a new one!  It still has a hole in it but other household tasks were queuing up so I gave up at this point.  

Haven’t tested it yet but a trip to the supermarket beckons so I will see how it feels and report back if the transformation is dramatic.  Toodle Pip!

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Engine.  Feels fine.  Stick suggests I overfilled slightly but not convinced I was on level ground.  I suspect I forgot to allow for filling the filter up with oil when I put that on (I don’t usually) but if it’s overfilled it’s a couple of hundred millimetres max.  Engine isn’t complaining, in fact it feels a bit quieter.  Started quicker too so we’ll call that a win.

Gearbox.  Hmmmmm.  Shift isn’t as lazy and featherlight as it used to be but that’s ok, it feels more positive and sportier.  Reverse was a bit of a struggle to engage but alright.  Jury is out for the moment.  I won’t replace the oil, I may just suck out a little and squirt in some Molyslip or whatever local alternative is available as that might help.  It’s not a problem though and the box is quieter on a run.  With winter around the corner here perhaps the thinner oil will be beneficial in the mornings?  Overall some slight benefits but we’ll see how we go.

Plans.  Monday sees the drivers side shocker replaced so a warrant can be issued.  To help the fitter I have been liberally spraying release agent on the bolts he needs to tackle so it may help.  In a perfect world some 80 section tyres will improve matters.  

I had planned to get 14 inch wheels but comparing them with my 13’s with 80 section tyres, there’s nothing in it:


At present I have 70 section tyres rather than 80.  It makes the wheels look stupidly small and  the extra ground clearance wouldn’t go amiss as sometimes the car feels like you are sitting on a tea tray sliding along the ground.  The smaller section also throws the speedo out. 


So I really don’t need bigger wheels and then a set of bigger tyres as well.  I will keep the 13’s, get some 80 section tyres and languish in the ride comfort that only high sidewalls can bring.  It will also be nice to get an accurate (well, more accurate) speedo reading as when passengers state I am breaking the 100kmh limit, I don’t have to have a long boring conversation about smaller tyres adversely affecting gearing....

It needs a nicer gear knob.  The moulded plastic one is not inspiring and never makes me feel like Ronnie Peterson tackling the Loews Hairpin at Monaco.  I quite like this £8 option below.  It will bring a much needed touch of glamour to the interior and certainly guarantee superior valet service at the local casino.


For the next service I will definitely seek a wider filter option.  Oil wise I have a litre of GTX Ultraclean available.  Mrs P’s Suzuki will be getting Magnatec 5w30 synth and a filter tomorrow perhaps.  The bottle is five litres but the car needs 3.9 so I will have just over a litre of that left over.  Therefore I will get a litre of GTX or the Magnatec (whatever is cheapest on the shelves) next time so I will have about 3 litres of leftovers  for the next change.  5w30 might be a little thin but some fag packet maths suggest a mix of two litres of 15/40 and one of 5/30 will give me 11.6w/36.  A cross between 10/30 and 10/40 which will do.  

It’s not a fussy engine.  You can tell by the body it lives in

And that’s all I have to say about that

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Well Sunday dawned and everyone was asleep.  I was up and bored so you can probably guess what happened next.....


Yep, Suzuki time, we have managed to put a fair few k’s on this in the three months or so we have owned it so a service wasn’t a bad idea.  If I recall it had 69000 on it, now 78000.  When  we bought it the seller had no history papers as her Dad had dealt with it all.  He had done too, the car was pretty well looked after but I had no idea of what oil or filter it had or when it had last been done.  We couldn’t have that now.

So got the oil sucking.  Couldn’t locate the filter but thanks to the miracle of phone cameras I managed to locate it next to the exhaust at the front.  Well hidden but I got my hands on it.  I wasn’t going to be lucky twice and have a filter that could be undone by hand was I?  Well hell yeah, a bit of grunt saw it turning easily although I got covered in oil.....


Aha, another one of these OE+ filters...Suzuki genuine part going on and Castrol Magnetec 5w30 synth lined up for this one.

Oil choice here is confusing.  Castrol site recommends 10w/40 Semi synth Magnetec.  Unless the ambient temperature is constantly below 30 degrees in which case 5w/30 Edge, 10w/30 Magnetec, or 5w/30 Magnetec is preferred.  In the U.K. a 5w/20 is recommended.  Initially I was going to go with the 10w/40 but they spec was pretty poor on that so I wasn’t confident in it.  Edge was my preferred but that was sold out so I got the 5w/30 Magnetec stop/start.  Which Castrol recommends but Repco and Supercheap both state is unsuitable for my car.  Sod it, it’ll be fine.


Some say that extraction pumps leave the sludge behind.  All I can say is the capacity of my engine is 4litres and this is what I accumulated in the Pela - 4 litres.  I have to say it’s about my favourite tool ever and I can’t recommend them enough.  Overall process took about an hour, I reckon I will be able to rattle that off in half the time in future now I know where everything is.

Quick run up and down the road and all feels fine and lively.  So all in all the Suzuki Swift Sport is a great little car and oil changes are pretty easy.  You should all buy a Swift, it’s like a slightly square Mini with all the unreliability designed out.  Just don’t get into too much oil type research though or you will drive yourself mad.

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Off to get a new shock absorber fitted to the Mirage in ten minutes.  Will this transform the car into a 205 Gti botherer or make no perceptible difference whatsoever?  We shall see.  It is certainly getting more attention than it’s had in the past, that’s for sure

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If I put it through a hedge it would probably cause $50 worth of improvements.

Dropped the car off and walking back I wandered past what I thought was an abandoned shed but is actually a fairly active bodyshop!  They were machine polishing a Nissan 280z with serious paint fade and there was a Triumph 2500 getting some love too.  Might stop in later to get them to look at the bigger dents to see if they can pop any out.  

I won’t be asking for paint.  There is no way on this planet anyone will be able to match that putrid shade of light metallic blue/lavender after 22 years of abuse.  That said the clearcoat is quite good.  I think it has had paint before.  Ultimately I would love to repaint it a proper colour and do an Autoshite tutorial on that.  No professional spray shop, just some bloke on his own with sandpaper and rollers.  I have seen some instructionals and you can get some really good results 

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Right, done.  Short drive back but for the first time ever it wasn’t trying to pull me into the gutter so what a difference a KYB makes.  Bill was more than I expected (they charged $200 for the shocker - I know things are expensive here but I wish I had sourced that myself) but hey, they gotta eat.  Only charged $50 for the labour so it balances I suppose.  That’s another six months legal motoring anyway.  Celebrated by pumping more air in the tyres so have probably ruined the balance now

Might see that body shop later or tomorrow.  Have an appointment with my daughter and then the 16 year old will awaken demanding food....

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16 yr olds can feed themselves or die; darwin must be satisfied.

On 3/6/2021 at 12:00 AM, Parky said:

Cleaned up a bit, looks much better.  That cracked and broken washer bottle neck annoys me still.....



Rough it up a bit with sandpaper, clean it(soapy hot water or brake cleaner/meths if you're pernickety) and let it dry, sticky tape on the inside as a "mould" and epoxy on the outside; job bodged. Smear a generous glob over the cracks as well if you're feeling keen.

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Epoxy.  Yes, I like that idea.  I had considered getting a length of clear plastic hose, cutting it lengthways and wrapping it around the filler like a heavy duty condom with some glue to secure it.  Or pulling it out and doing some plastic welding via the medium of a blowtorch, some pliers and a six inch nail.

Or....this could be me tomorrow


Worryingly I am a fan of the dark polo shirt and as I get older I am starting to develop a slight resemblance to Phil Swift

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And in non car related news it looks like I might have a job!  Chance encounter with a mortgage broker at a sausage sizzle who just happens to want an investment expert to join her business.  You know this might be the job I have always wanted.  After thirty years I think I might have worked out what I want to be when I grow up!!!

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  • 3 weeks later...

It’s 10.30am and I have done this.....managed to rupture at least two internal organs doing it but hey, what’s a little bit of internal bleeding when a collection thread looms!

More to follow in a couple of hours.  This is going to be a world of pain!



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Well one things for certain, smol Hondas aren’t all that smol.  Either that or the Mirage is even smaller than I thought.  Either way, quart and pint pot sprung to mind, as did various profanities....


Tried to shift it, couldn’t even lift it, we was getting nowhere.....but no, we didn’t have a tea

I examined the situation carefully.  Evaluated all options, and considered alternatives before saying “ah sod it, we’ll go with what we have”.  And so an hour later (minus diversion to Fresh Choice for biscuits), the following happened


Smol Moped temporarily resides at my house while @Hairnet gets a shipping agent to sail it back to Blighty and glory!

It is as cool as f*ck.  The guys at Turners loved it and I was accosted by an old fella outside who said “Is that an old Postie bike? Ah she’s a beaut!  I had one at me faaarrrrm, great little bikes them!”

And he was an old bloke so what he said must definitely be true.  Stashed in the garage safely, now time for a pot noodle before putting my seat back in.  It’s a tough life being a Financial Adviser.  To think if I were in the U.K. I would be driving an E class to meetings at Golf Clubs.  I think I would rather be doing this kind of crazy nonsense!

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I heard you were in town, if I had got my shit together I would have popped along to check it out!  Can’t be many of those over here.

Mind you there’s a Seat Córdoba for sale on TradeMe at the moment.  How the heck did that get here?  I swear some of these cars fall off European container ships and just wash up on the beaches here two years later.  

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Mrs P still doesn’t know.  In amongst all the stuff going on I completely forgot to tell her!  She is due home in five minutes so this might be my last ever message as I reckon she is going to be unhappy.

Remember The Royle Family?  Remember Dave had his moped in bits in the baby’s room?  Well it’s not as bad as that.

Moped my arse

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