Keys locked in, or how to release your inner Walter Sobchak

[Bitzer]

If you lose your second car key, it is clear that, sooner or later, somebody will lock in the only key in Mk1 Focus. The boot lid does not have a release button and thus can be opened only electrically from inside or with a key from the outside of said Car of the Year 1999.

Your wife then panics and tries the blame-game, because, you know, it was YOU who lost the other key, the one with remote control. You do not say "Shut the fuck up, Donny", because, after all, she is your wife. No, no, it is not Sobchak time yet. Instead, you let her phone several locksmiths knowing very well this is not the way to go. And you are right, she is quoted €70-100. It is time to remind her you are definitely not paying something close to a quarter of the value of the car just because she left her purse with the key on the parcel shelf. Damn, I did not watch my buddies in Vietnam die with their faces in muck only to be robbed by some fucking locksmith in broad daylight! A call to nearby junkyard confirms your suspicion about the price of a back door glass: "Yup, we got several Focuses here. €10, sir, if you remove the glass yourself. Yup, we are open on Saturdays, till noon."

Incoming call from her mother: "Where are you? You were supposed to be here five minutes ago."

"The key is locked in our car and we cannot get in."

"Why dontcha use a spare key?"

"Well, mother dear, because, obviously, we do not have one."

"Well then, I will send Robert, he will help you."

"No, this really..." Phone is silent and, anyway, she has already switched to her "I can organize anything and where would they be without me?" mode, results of which are always disastrous. Robert is your brother in law, IT person with very limited understanding of pig iron or fine martial arts involving spanner and hammer. Enters stage from left, convinced he can open the driver´s door with a piece of bent wire. Your explanation about the design of the lock being different from what he remembers from Favorit he once opened, some 20 yrs ago, are falling on deaf ears, so it is high time to visit a harware store with the noble goal of purchasing a roll of duct tape. Upon your return, you realize he wrecked the weatherstrip and then door sealing in futile attempts to push the boot switch or catch inner door handle. Leaves stage to the right.

Now it is time to cover the window with duct tape nicely and to ostensibly ignore your neighbor who, with open mouth and general expression  of village idiot, monitors your every move from behind his curtain. Yes, it is the same idiot who drives Cherokee adorned with Confederate flag sticker, the one who never hesitated to foul-mouth your Fiats, calling them Italian crap which he would, of course, never buy. That is, until you informed him that his Murcan Cherokee is, in fact, equipped with engine manufactured in Italy. (Quick facts: 2,5 TD from VM Motori) He does not speak to you since then.

Only now, with the window covered with tape, comes time to release your inner Walter Sobchak. On the offensive glass only, obvs:

 

And off you go to that bloody BBQ with your in-laws, with summer wind blowing in through the hole. Unlike your wife, your 10-yrs old son finds the situation funny and suggests that you shoul leave the door as it is. You offload your family and leave them in the clutches of your father-in-law, who, again, insists on barbecuing pork chops. He always overdoes to the point they are hard enough to break your teeth on them and taste like burnt cardboard. You are lucky - when you return after successful pickup of the new* glass, the chops are gone and yes, you will be happy with the bratwurst and yes, you will serve yourself. You then spend the afternoon changing the glass and vacuuming shards, which gives you a nice excuse for not talking or listening to anybody around.

[stereotype]

*audience applause*

While a shit situation, at least you got to avoid a cardboard BBQ and menial conversation. I know who I'll be taking after in the event I ever have a vehicle you can't just open with a wire hanger ?

[Tenmil Socket]

When I locked the keys in the boot of my MK1 Focus we bent a back door open slightly at the top and carefully wound down a rear window with a metal coat hanger.

[New POD]

When I locked the keys in the boot of my Accord in Cardiff, the RAC man came and pumped out the drivers door and hooked a wire down to the drivers foot well where he was able to pull the boot lever. 

I hugged him. 

[Heidel_Kakao]

If we are all sharing getting locked out of cars tales...… This happened at an Old Japanese Car meet at Billing Aquadrome circa September 2007. Kind of embarrassing but luckily a passing RAC, or was it AA? man helpfully slim jimmed his way into my car free of charge?

[bunglebus]

I always remember the astonishment shown by the owners of a Rover (model escapes me) that I opened with a bit of packing strap outside Halfords years ago, having learnt the trick from my dad to get in the Dolomite we had.

I tried the same thing on a Mondeo with a baby locked inside (well I went for the inner handle not the locking button) but it seems these are immobilised when you lock the car. I have heard half a tennis ball over the lock can create a vacuum and somehow fool the system into unlocking, but I have no idea if this works.

If it makes the OP feel any better, the one time I locked my keys in the boot of my Sierra was outside a breakers yard, just as they closed. A phone call later and the not-very-amused GF turned up with the spare set.

I must buy a spare key...

[GrumpiusMaximus]

This brings back a memory.

I was a trainee teacher back in about 2012 and I lost the keys to my Ford Fiesta in the Primary School car park, which was - predictably - right outside my classroom.  I fished around in my bag for ages and looked and couldn't find them.  So I called the AA and they sent somebody around in double-quick time.  He connected a battery up to a terminal just behind the front bumper, used plastic wedges to open the door and then used a long metal rod to let the (fortunately electric) window down - evidently the terminal that he connected the battery to was for the window motor.

He then climbed in and spent five minutes looking around the car for my lost keys, with year 6 watching.

It was at this moment I remembered that my bag had a pocket that I never used.

...

[Asimo]

The late '60s to early '80s VW / Audi cars could all be locked without the key: push the door mushroom button down and hold the door opening trigger in as you shut the door. Locked.

 

Inevitably the inevitable happened, in a Birmingham multi-story.  I bought a file and filed the head off one of the rivets that form the hinge of the quarter light. Bent the glass out enough for slim-wristed wife to reach in for keys in ignition.

Impossible to lock the keys in this

 

because the N/S rear didn't lock.

I never fixed this lock because I knew that one day...

So at Slimbridge wildfowlery I locked the keys in the boot instead.  I had a T-rex sized spasm of rage and pulled up the edge of the boot enough for the same slim wrist to reach in and find the keys.

( Bootlid bent straight and repaired with )

[UltraWomble]

Citroen BX's are easy to get into with no keys.

It would be wrong to share the exact method on a public forum though.

[Six-cylinder]

Had I caught a man stealing my car, no he was rescuing me!

On a BMW trip we stopped at Chipping Norton in a public car park to pick up another car in the party. My n-s rear indicator had been playing up so I decided to take the opportunity to have a look at it. I left the engine running so I did not flatten the battery and closed the door as there was a bit of drizzle. I cleaned the bulb holder contacts and I had a n-s rear indicator again. I shut the boot, then the Toad alarm decided to save a carjacking all doors should be locked with the engine running!

The Guys from the BMW specialist we were visiting came out to save me so I did make it to the ball.

The car sat idling for nearly 1 hour and held its temperature perfectly, I did look in through the window anxiously to see what the gauge was saying.

[beko1987]

Amy locked the kids in the car once. Charlie was only a few months old, Eva would have been 4/5.

Both strapped into the car seats too, no other key. Eventually Eva wriggled an arm out, took her seatbelt off and opened a front door (rears were childlocked. 

I never lock my cars so don't have the issue. Blue laguna always scared the shite out of me as it auto locked. Became even more paranoid when I washed one of the keycards and broke it so no spare! (only one manual key too and I bet the locks never had had a key in them, so that would have been inevitable...) 

[CreepingJesus]

2 hours ago, DavidB said:

You should simply get a small drone with a string operated crocodile clip attached, disassemble the drone, remove a rubber bung from a drainage hole underneath and put the pieces inside the car, reassemble using a couple of pairs of tweezers, fly the drone over to the door lock, and then clamp the crocodile clip on the door lock puller, and lastly fly upwards and hey presto, your car is open.

No, no...you're over complicating matters. What you need to do is get about 8' of stiff fence wire, feed it in the OSF arch up the brake line. Feel for the master cylinder, go round the vacuum booster and follow the rod through the bulkhead, to the brake pedal. Even easier if you've got a VW with a NS master cylinder. 

Now go and find an amusement arcade and borrow* the claw from the cherry picker, prise the door top open enough to wiggle it in, drop it down to near the keys, and use the first wire to hook the keys out of the ignition, thus guaranteeing the claw will pick your keys, and not a Minion. 

Skooshed it.

 

IRL the easiest one ever was the auld biddy who came into the garage looking for help. What car, I asked? Metro. Didn't even bother finding the Slim Jims, just grabbed a steel rule, and got in, in about 3 seconds. 

Some of the Scotoshite/Retroshite squad will recall the lad who got locked out of his Lupo at the Falkirk Wheel meet a few years back. We could've helped, but it was more amusing to watch from a safe distance...

[jonny69]

My dad had this hotrod built in the late 90s. Shaved door handles and you opened the door by dropping the electric window with the key fob and reaching in to the handle. Until one of us shut the door with the keys inside and there was no way in. 

 

Yeah. So we’d gone round the back and got a half brick out the garden and it was about to go through when we remembered there was a hole in the bulkhead down the side. We poked something into the grille, long enough to slide the bonnet mechanism out the way and took off the bonnet and side panels which exposed this hole. Then got about a 6ft long garden cane or something and poked it through this hole from the front of the car, and managed to push the door handle enough to pop the door open. Got it!

[Bitzer]

2 hours ago, beko1987 said:

 Blue laguna always scared the shite out of me as it auto locked. Became even more paranoid when I washed one of the keycards and broke it so no spare! (only one manual key too and I bet the locks never had had a key in them, so that would have been inevitable...) 

Beware, good Christians! I tell you, Renault keycards are the work of the devil!

One of them (Megane II)  kept telling me "Replace card battery" all the time, no matter what battery I used - and I had the thing sliced and measured the voltage directly on the PCB. Needless to say, it was OK. Theoretically, the ECU had saved the error and it was reported no matter that it was not present anymore, but I think the car was simply possessed by a Legion. The other one had to have the induction coil resoldered twice and became reliabuh* only after I replaced the induction coil with a new one provided by Chinese comrades for a hefty sum of, IIRC, €2.

No matter what, the Purple Whore of Babylon was sent the way of all flesh shortly after I fixed the keycards. I just hated her.

[bunglebus]

Always a fun one with 5 door VWs - many a customer phoned us in a panic as they'd unlocked with the remote, strapped a kid in the back and left the keys next to the child seat - if you don't open a front door they relock after about 30 seconds, so they found themselves locked out with the keys and kid inside

[sutty2006]

Used to be a regular breakdown for MAN trucks locking the keys in. One was a full tanker tipper offloading lime at a factory. Trailer fully tipped, PTO at full chat and pissing down with rain. Always used to walk up to the trucks holding a large hammer. 
 

“How you gonna get in pall?”

 

me

”pick the cheapest window drive”

 

used to really wind the driver up with that one. Until I popped the grill and unlocked the central locking through the bulkhead connections. Lol 

[NorfolkNWeigh]

1990 Ford had bought Jaguar , immediately facelifted the XJ40 including fitting their second generation Tibbe (?) locks and keys instead of the lovely black dagger key that early XJ40’s came with.

Anyway pulled up at The Dorchester one night behind my mate Harvey, who was driving a nice shiny new Sovereign, he looked a bit stressed and I noticed his Guvnor standing on the pavement looking pissed off. It transpires Harvey was standing next to the Jag looking at the door lock and thinking “ That looks the same as my Sierra key...” Seems any key can lock them but not open them. Of course the engine was running with the keys in the ignition.

Luckily I had a spiral bound Road Atlas in the boot so quickly stripped the wire out , fed it in the top of the door and popped the lock, try using your Sat Nav for that. Got me a round of applause from door staff and assembled chauffeurs.

[bunglebus]

3 minutes ago, NorfolkNWeigh said:

Seems any key can lock them but not open them.

Yep, hours of fun when several of you have Fords (or Jaguars)

[Cord Fourteener]

11 hours ago, Bitzer said:

If you lose your second car key, it is clear that, sooner or later, somebody will lock in the only key in Mk1 Focus. The boot lid does not have a release button and thus can be opened only electrically from inside or with a key from the outside of said Car of the Year 1999.

Your wife then panics and tries the blame-game, because, you know, it was YOU who lost the other key, the one with remote control. You do not say "Shut the fuck up, Donny", because, after all, she is your wife. No, no, it is not Sobchak time yet. Instead, you let her phone several locksmiths knowing very well this is not the way to go. And you are right, she is quoted €70-100. It is time to remind her you are definitely not paying something close to a quarter of the value of the car just because she left her purse with the key on the parcel shelf. Damn, I did not watch my buddies in Vietnam die with their faces in muck only to be robbed by some fucking locksmith in broad daylight! A call to nearby junkyard confirms your suspicion about the price of a back door glass: "Yup, we got several Focuses here. €10, sir, if you remove the glass yourself. Yup, we are open on Saturdays, till noon."

Incoming call from her mother: "Where are you? You were supposed to be here five minutes ago."

"The key is locked in our car and we cannot get in."

"Why dontcha use a spare key?"

"Well, mother dear, because, obviously, we do not have one."

"Well then, I will send Robert, he will help you."

"No, this really..." Phone is silent and, anyway, she has already switched to her "I can organize anything and where would they be without me?" mode, results of which are always disastrous. Robert is your brother in law, IT person with very limited understanding of pig iron or fine martial arts involving spanner and hammer. Enters stage from left, convinced he can open the driver´s door with a piece of bent wire. Your explanation about the design of the lock being different from what he remembers from Favorit he once opened, some 20 yrs ago, are falling on deaf ears, so it is high time to visit a harware store with the noble goal of purchasing a roll of duct tape. Upon your return, you realize he wrecked the weatherstrip and then door sealing in futile attempts to push the boot switch or catch inner door handle. Leaves stage to the right.

Now it is time to cover the window with duct tape nicely and to ostensibly ignore your neighbor who, with open mouth and general expression  of village idiot, monitors your every move from behind his curtain. Yes, it is the same idiot who drives Cherokee adorned with Confederate flag sticker, the one who never hesitated to foul-mouth your Fiats, calling them Italian crap which he would, of course, never buy. That is, until you informed him that his Murcan Cherokee is, in fact, equipped with engine manufactured in Italy. (Quick facts: 2,5 TD from VM Motori) He does not speak to you since then.

Only now, with the window covered with tape, comes time to release your inner Walter Sobchak. On the offensive glass only, obvs:

 

And off you go to that bloody BBQ with your in-laws, with summer wind blowing in through the hole. Unlike your wife, your 10-yrs old son finds the situation funny and suggests that you shoul leave the door as it is. You offload your family and leave them in the clutches of your father-in-law, who, again, insists on barbecuing pork chops. He always overdoes to the point they are hard enough to break your teeth on them and taste like burnt cardboard. You are lucky - when you return after successful pickup of the new* glass, the chops are gone and yes, you will be happy with the bratwurst and yes, you will serve yourself. You then spend the afternoon changing the glass and vacuuming shards, which gives you a nice excuse for not talking or listening to anybody around.

That's a very specific scenario, personal experience perchance? ?

[warch]

Once locked myself out of my Land-Rover. Luckily it's the pre 1971 version with the protruding hinges, so It took all of a minute to unscrew the hinge pins with the special tool (flathead screwdriver) remove the pins and stand clear as the door fell off. 

I've mentioned this before on here but my Mum and Dad used to own an Astra Twintop, with the folding metal roof that folded into the boot. Unfortunately when the roof mechanism detected a fault and refused to fold down it also locked the boot. The only way to open the boot was via the handy manual release switch, in the boot. The boot was separated from the rest of the car by a steel bulkhead like most saloons have, so I had to fashion a pointy stick to poke through the ski hatch to strike the release button. It turned out that the fault with the roof mechanism was to do with the special roof ECU, also located in the boot....

[chaseracer]

Ageing Rover (SD3) 200.  The key to my house alarm.  Sorted.

One impressed but slightly concerned owner.