My joypals, an update

[MR SCRUFF]

Hallo shiters,

Some of you will remember my A35, ex-cros formerly of this parish: 

 

A great little car, hot 1098, discs blah blah. I absolutely adored it and drove it daily, regular trips to the coast to see me mum and all that. 
 

 

Unfortunately the peanut killing RUST has no empathy. My motor vehicles are a secondary drain on resources to various other items of vintage transport, and in a rare moment of being honest with myself I realised it could be a long time before I could do it justice. So very reluctantly I decided to sell it on. 
 

cros had first refusal, but was already at awe inspiring jalopy capacity, and a couple of other black austin enthusiasts could not take it on. A man in Leicester opened comms after a half hearted ad on Car & Classic.

Having successfully completed delicate negotiations between the man in Leicester (who wanted my Austin a35) and myself (who wanted a lot of money for it), we arranged that A weekday evening would be the handover date. “I’ll bring it no problem!” 

I had everything set for after work, having frozen my bollocks off at 5am driving the LAnd Rover over there. And lo, I did trundle round from the car park to the trailer, peering through the almost frozen window to where the trailer was. Here I discovered the last towererer had broken the jockey wheel, specifically the clamp thingy that holds it up. Oh dear, I said, never mind, I’ll fetch a jack.

You’d have thought a decades established agricultural manufacturing company would have jacks in abundance but at a deserted 5.45pm I could not find a single one. It was like the Borrowers had woken up. As I swore quite spectacularly I was aware of the Land Rover farting away and the typically low level of petrol in it. With visions of it running out I decide to go and fetch a jack from home and fill it up with motion lotion.

Fortunately I live but two miles from work so this operation is swiftly completed and after only a short interlude of more swearing we are hitched up, I’ve locked the gates again and homeward bound.

Now an a35 is a pretty low vehicle and one with banjaxed suspension lower still. And I could not get the fucker on the trailer. Being a big macho low loader driver (!??) I put various boards down to decrease the ramp steepness in a manly fashion and was rewarded only with the sight of my A35 shooting two Batman shades of light at the mocking moon and it’s ass kissing the ground just enough to halt movement fore and aft.

I like to think I have a fairly good command of Anglo Saxon English so after practicing a bit more I did the only sensible thing and rang my mate Rob, who was at home like a normal person and not at his shed full of winchy stuff. Not wanting to disturb his evening I stood back and considered things. 

“Wish I could blow the suspension up on the Landy... oh look my lovely new jack... lightbulb goes on... I’ll just jack the front of the trailer up” 

Success! Austin and terra firma reunited, but only after scrabbling around for some stout blocks to chock the whole shabang as I had visions of it buggering off down the yard. 

Now what to do. “If only I had some nice long ramps. My lorry has nice long ramps...” another (very dim) bulb illuminates...

Back to work. Friends have complained  my ramps are stupid heavy and I’ve laughed them off. Dragging the fuckers between two trailers and onto the ifor willibum I was not laughing. Home again, quick goodnight to my son who must think this is all normal, and Austin goes straight on! Hurrah! Except, where am I going to stow these bastard ramps. A quick wiggle (by the way the Austin’s exhaust fell off the previous week so every time I start it, on choke obvs, it sounds like the dam busters warming up for a raid) and I can get one underneath and one leant up against the side of the trailer, where it is securely fastened ?

At something like 8 I set off, and happily nothing went amiss, it’s almost like old land rovers were built to tow stuff, who’d have thought. I met the guy and swapped chronic rot for hard cash, had a little cry and went home. 

Wasn’t it all a marvellous scream?

 

 

 

[MR SCRUFF]

I’ve had loads of Land Rovers which explains both my mental state and my credit report. This one has been in the family for years, it was my mother’s daily transport for a long time, was used in our wedding  and is part of the furniture really. 
 

It is about as standard as you can get and therefore according to most goons on the internet completely useless for daily transportation. Apart from needing regular visits to the petrol station, it was more than adequate for the 7-8 months or so between the a35 going and me requiring something bettering 18mpg. 
 

 

I’ve not really done anything at all to it. There was a bit of a calamity en route to a day greenlaning when a unfortunate sequence of events happened on the A1: the big core plug in the block had rotted out, depositing all the coolant. Being high summer it got red hot before I could get off the road and before I knew it was misfiring like a champ. 
 

a tow back to base and a look revealed

 

Seems it had pinched a valve shut.

The fatal core plug was the threaded variety. I tapped it out and made a new one in true farmer style from a old adjustable top link, was quite proud of my upcycling bodgery there 

 

 

As can be seen above, during a brief interlude living with a mate it had gained an SU conversion, great on paper but he had used a knackered carb. I found a weirdo to give me £100 for the adapter kit and bunged a new carburettor made in China or whatever on it. Might only last a year but I don’t care. Here’s my mate Rob gazing adoringly at

 

 

Last summer we got an invite to take the steam engines down to the Great Dorset Steam Fair, for a special “made in Lincoln” gathering. Dorset is a love it or hate it event, in my teens and early 20s when I thought I could drink and sleeping in the cab of a series 3 Landy was acceptable, I went every year but have felt it was too big, too many pikeys etc etc. Anyway my wife was keen and my young son super excited so we said yes and then started wondering about the logistics.

Our 70s Thomson caravan had done us proud but for a hot week in a Dorset field playing with steamers I decreed that a little more mod cons (hot running water, shower etc) were required. Two days before we were due to go I went out on the fen and picked up our luxurious £600 new tourer 

 

anyway it was great, super clean, everything worked and the LR got it back from Horncastle ok so I figured would be alright for the 200 miles down to Dorset. And it was!!

After all that excitement life settled down again and the landy plodded about it’s business without drama. The roof had about had it though and over the winter I had a complete sense of humour failure about it, fucked the canvas off and fitted a truck cab, noisy but I don’t get wet, so bollocks. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[MR SCRUFF]

In the above snap you can see a gold Jimny behind.

I bought this for £500 off a bloke at work, having known it for a while, he’d had it a decade and was moving house and needed space, the usual story. 
 

Like a plumb I didn’t even really look at it. Picked it up one night, realised the MOT was out and then couldn’t get it out of his garage because the rear brakes were seized. This should have been an omen but we sorted that out and I drove it home then forgot about it for a few months.

Then I found myself in need of a few extra coins and with a requirement to travel outside our fair county every four days or so, and the Land Rover didn’t really appeal for pounding the M69 etc etc so I thought I’d sort the a jimny out.

Four page failure sheet and a gold-plated cold shoulder from the wife. Utterly turbo-fucked with rot from front number plate to rear number plate. I put it on Facebook marketplace which was an amusing affair but it went fairly quick, a lad from Corby came and gave me £400 for it which all things considered I thought was brilliant. 

Anyway I now needed alternative wheels and didn’t dare give myself more than £600 to spend.

i love vans, little vans, they suit my lifestyle, and fancied another. Choice was limited but I’d always liked Transit connects and found one not far away, self employed handyman upgraded to a 14 plate Custom, high miles but well serviced etc etc £550. SOLD 

that’s about it, I’ve done a few Shite related moves with the lorry I’ll post about and it seems no one gives a fuck about secrecy around the JLR work I’ve been doing the past few years so I’ll post some highlights of that too. See ya later 

 

 

[dollywobbler]

Grand stuff indeed. Good to have you back. I fully admire the miles you cover in Series Land Rovers. I felt exhausted after an hour in one earlier in the year.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

I’m with the Wobbler on this, Any proper * Land Rover should not be deemed suitable for long distance travel. When I read about hardy individuals overland exploits , my first thought is always - Fuck that, I’d be throwing the towel in before Dover let alone the 1200 miles to the ferry in Spain.

My Dad who is as mental as Mr Scruff , managed to get on the last ferry from France to Plymouth the day before lockdown, he of course was in his S1 and the lights wouldn’t work,  could I pop down ( from Milton Keynes) and meet the ferry to tow him back, because he’s got it on French plates so couldn’t get the RAC- i” It’s oK use my Defender” says he....

Fucking tortuous evil thing, I’ve just checked and I’ve still got a dent in my left leg from the handbrake- 3 months on!

And yes, half way home I looked in the mirror and the little bastard’S headlights were glowing merrily away.

 

[Asimo]

Connects are ace. Cars come and cars go but van's a keeper.

Soon be 7 years....

[somewhatfoolish]

The mistake is to think of LRs as cars rather than the high speed tractors they are, a cut-price Fastrac before anyone thought of such things.

[MR SCRUFF]

They are awful but I like em

[warch]

10 hours ago, somewhatfoolish said:

The mistake is to think of LRs as cars rather than the high speed tractors they are, a cut-price Fastrac before anyone thought of such things.

That's brilliant! I have used a Series Land Rover, often as a daily driver since the mid-90s, and that's exactly what they are. It did help that at the time I used to drive a tractor, this being back in the day when tractors couldn't top 20mph and were noisy sluggish things. My petrol Landie seemed the model of refinement by comparison (yes really). 

I have driven quite long distances in my Land Rover, as recently as last year I used mine to move a large piece of equipment that wouldn't go in my car. In modern traffic conditions it doesn't really make a lot of difference, quite often you won't top 40mph on an A road due to old giffers/trucks/tractors anyway.

[Supernaut]

The first thing I drove on a regular basis after getting my driving licence back in 2005 was a 1975 Series 3. It was an 88" with the standard 2.25 and a safari rear door, in that greyish blue with cream wheels and roof. A previous owner had put in a wooden bulkhead behind the front seats with a natty little perspex sliding window.

It didn't have a straight body panel on it, and the gearbox drowned out the engine. My dad bought it in 2000 as a farm workhorse. I remember when we picked it up it had the raised letter number plates from the wrong vehicle on it, with some of the letters removed and the correct letters spray painted on.

 

It was absolutely ACE.

[anonymous user]

I'm another sucker for the big boys' meccano sets. They are one of the few vehicles I still enjoy driving, another being a Morgan, if I can get in and out of it, so I am probably a masochist.

I will get another Land Rover, but not just yet.

[somewhatfoolish]

3 hours ago, warch said:

That's brilliant! I have used a Series Land Rover, often as a daily driver since the mid-90s, and that's exactly what they are. It did help that at the time I used to drive a tractor, this being back in the day when tractors couldn't top 20mph and were noisy sluggish things. My petrol Landie seemed the model of refinement by comparison (yes really). 

I have driven quite long distances in my Land Rover, as recently as last year I used mine to move a large piece of equipment that wouldn't go in my car. In modern traffic conditions it doesn't really make a lot of difference, quite often you won't top 40mph on an A road due to old giffers/trucks/tractors anyway.

If I'm going further than 15-20 miles I put earplugs in, it's just less tiring. It also helps being a shortarse so I more or less fit inside; my brother is well over 6' and has difficulty staying comfortable.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

3 hours ago, somewhatfoolish said:

If I'm going further than 15-20 miles I put earplugs in, it's just less tiring. It also helps being a shortarse so I more or less fit inside; my brother is well over 6' and has difficulty staying comfortable.

I’m 6’3” and 23 stone so find modern Defenders torture , but the S1 is relatively comfortable by comparison. My Dads 90 has extended seat runners and no bulkhead otherwise I couldn’t drive it at all. 
On the journey back from Portsmouth he did mention that the S1 had never been so fast when I was cruising at 70/75 on the M5. At least the Transit engine allows them to keep up with traffic., even when towing.

[MR SCRUFF]

Hi everybody how's it going. Not been on for ages, life stuff, we had another littleun which is ace and been supa busy truckin' around. I've got covid this week so taking a break from 'ozark' and feeling sorry for myself to check out AS.

Still got the Land Rover which is presently 'in dock' for a bit of TLC, new/old rear springs and a heart transplant. After wondering how to find a suitable replacement engine now the LR scene is infiltrated by lifestyle wankers who've pushed prices right up, I've ended up with no less than three 2.25 engines plus a forth for a mate. I feel like Albert Ross. 

One of them is sat in the remains of a ex-New Zealand series 2a me and my mate Munks have gone halfs on, and it has the most fantastic period turbo conversion on it, just the thing for generating copious amounts of internet froth from the experts. 

The van had to move on with the arrival of child no. 2 and I had a brief, but highly enjoyable affair with a beautiful black Audi Allroad which didn't breakdown but admittedly did have a few suspensiony foibles. What a motor though, the absolute boss for towing, and it went like stink. It did like a drink though. I woke up one day and decided to put it on marketplace and a guy got the train from Greenwich to snap my hand off. I'm running around in a friend's extremely modified/bummed Series 2B forward control at the moment while I mend my land rover and ponder a return to A35 ownership as well, as I am still heartbroken by the loss of my black one.  

[somewhatfoolish]

8 hours ago, MR SCRUFF said:

Series 2B forward control 

Pics pls.

[Crackers]

Awesome thread. 

 

--message ends--

[MR SCRUFF]

An exceedingly useful device. I am loathed to give it back. 

 

 

Here is the New Zealand turbo 2a 

I cannot wait to fire this up, I am sure it's awful but I really hope it whistles like one of those early turbo tractors from the 70s. The whole motor is going to donate itself to Munks' series 2a project, he's just got to finish building his garage.

Audi: 

I fancied a Audi estate and did my research, went out looking for a 1.9 A4 manual quattro, naturally I bought a 2.5 A6 auto Allroad which is the one everyone says avoid. It was cheap enough at 1100 quid and the lad selling it was a Merc HGV fitter and had done loads to it. I had a couple of moments of it dropping onto the bumpstops but no fail to proceeds and I've not had such a lovely motor to waft around in since my Range Rover. I'd definitely fancy a newer one but feel maybe I've pushed my luck in the miracle market a bit for a while.

[High Jetter]

FWC is ace. Nomination for calendar fred.

[scruff]

On 6/26/2020 at 7:59 PM, MR SCRUFF said:

Hallo shiters,

Some of you will remember my A35, ex-cros formerly of this parish: 

 

A great little car, hot 1098, discs blah blah. I absolutely adored it and drove it daily, regular trips to the coast to see me mum and all that. 
 

 

Unfortunately the peanut killing RUST has no empathy. My motor vehicles are a secondary drain on resources to various other items of vintage transport, and in a rare moment of being honest with myself I realised it could be a long time before I could do it justice. So very reluctantly I decided to sell it on. 
 

cros had first refusal, but was already at awe inspiring jalopy capacity, and a couple of other black austin enthusiasts could not take it on. A man in Leicester opened comms after a half hearted ad on Car & Classic.

Having successfully completed delicate negotiations between the man in Leicester (who wanted my Austin a35) and myself (who wanted a lot of money for it), we arranged that A weekday evening would be the handover date. “I’ll bring it no problem!” 

I had everything set for after work, having frozen my bollocks off at 5am driving the LAnd Rover over there. And lo, I did trundle round from the car park to the trailer, peering through the almost frozen window to where the trailer was. Here I discovered the last towererer had broken the jockey wheel, specifically the clamp thingy that holds it up. Oh dear, I said, never mind, I’ll fetch a jack.

You’d have thought a decades established agricultural manufacturing company would have jacks in abundance but at a deserted 5.45pm I could not find a single one. It was like the Borrowers had woken up. As I swore quite spectacularly I was aware of the Land Rover farting away and the typically low level of petrol in it. With visions of it running out I decide to go and fetch a jack from home and fill it up with motion lotion.

Fortunately I live but two miles from work so this operation is swiftly completed and after only a short interlude of more swearing we are hitched up, I’ve locked the gates again and homeward bound.

Now an a35 is a pretty low vehicle and one with banjaxed suspension lower still. And I could not get the fucker on the trailer. Being a big macho low loader driver (!??) I put various boards down to decrease the ramp steepness in a manly fashion and was rewarded only with the sight of my A35 shooting two Batman shades of light at the mocking moon and it’s ass kissing the ground just enough to halt movement fore and aft.

I like to think I have a fairly good command of Anglo Saxon English so after practicing a bit more I did the only sensible thing and rang my mate Rob, who was at home like a normal person and not at his shed full of winchy stuff. Not wanting to disturb his evening I stood back and considered things. 

“Wish I could blow the suspension up on the Landy... oh look my lovely new jack... lightbulb goes on... I’ll just jack the front of the trailer up” 

Success! Austin and terra firma reunited, but only after scrabbling around for some stout blocks to chock the whole shabang as I had visions of it buggering off down the yard. 

Now what to do. “If only I had some nice long ramps. My lorry has nice long ramps...” another (very dim) bulb illuminates...

Back to work. Friends have complained  my ramps are stupid heavy and I’ve laughed them off. Dragging the fuckers between two trailers and onto the ifor willibum I was not laughing. Home again, quick goodnight to my son who must think this is all normal, and Austin goes straight on! Hurrah! Except, where am I going to stow these bastard ramps. A quick wiggle (by the way the Austin’s exhaust fell off the previous week so every time I start it, on choke obvs, it sounds like the dam busters warming up for a raid) and I can get one underneath and one leant up against the side of the trailer, where it is securely fastened ?

At something like 8 I set off, and happily nothing went amiss, it’s almost like old land rovers were built to tow stuff, who’d have thought. I met the guy and swapped chronic rot for hard cash, had a little cry and went home. 

Wasn’t it all a marvellous scream?

 

 

 

I am seriously missing my A35, almost upsettingly so 

The guy I sold it to did it up.... But didn't keep it long, and I've no idea where it is now. If any shiters see it, please let me know. I'll sell one of my plums or something.

[scruff]

Summer is teasingly close so I want to get my Land Rover back on the road. 

The NZ turbocharged 2a is donating a few bits and bobs before it goes off for final organ donation to my m8's very poorly 2a. Had eldest assistant on the case this morning: 

Took the chance to take some pics of the turbo conversion, anyone come across these before? A brief google suggests they are quite popular with VW types in the states 

 

I am not totally convinced the thing has ever run properly in this vehicle, there was no return back to the fuel tank and this plate on the bulkhead suggests that in 1999 it had a Holden petrol engine in it.

Whatever, the fuel lines were full of yellowy diesely water so that probably explains why there's nothing getting from pump to injectors. Next job is to crack on and keep the momentum, and pull mine to bits ready to swap engines. It's at the bottom of the garden at the moment and the starter motor or solenoid has packed up so it's a tow job up to the drive.

When I was a teenager we seemed to swap engines and shit every weekend and think nothing of it, I'm sure once I get going it'll be fine 😅

[werntmeguv]

Didn't the Series 1 Landy that Car SOSage did a while back have one of those turbos fitted?

[scruff]

Yes it did apparently, I've just seen that 

[mk2_craig]

Go on then, how did the New Zealand car end up here? Seems like a lot of bother to have a non runner shipped over only to break for spares, or was it one of those “ran fine when driven into the container” jobs?

[scruff]

Yeah, sort of - it was right at the back of the box with a load of other spares and motors stacked on it, a sort of unwelcome bonus prize in a job lot acquired by a friend who brings them in for a living, usually from Australia. They are very cheap over there so brimming a 40' with them (and I mean brimming, so the doors just close) does make sense with the vastly inflated UK scene now. Whereas 20 years ago we would break one that shat a gearbox or failed an MoT now even wrecks are strong money so hopeless cases from abroad do make decent parts sources.

 

[scruff]

Holy thread resurrection batman! 

Apologies, once again. Life seems to have left little time for ye olde foruming but here's an update. 

The long drawn out engine swap on the 2a is finally done, a couple of things happened to spur me into action and i ended up taking it to work and doing it under the crane in the factory one Saturday morning, as otherwise I'd have just faffed around and found excuses. 

 

Post mortom on the dead petrol engine was amusing 

 

 

It did still run, I drove it out the garden and onto the trailer 😁 

The engine I fitted was a 5 bearing 2.25 diesel that came from a friend in France, I know it's a good one and after swapping the clutch for a diesel one and new engine mounts and downpipe, it looks at home in there 

 

I then took it back home, on towing duties was one of the reasons I was spurted into doing something with it, I had acquired another Land Rover 

 

I'd known this wagon for nearly twenty years and along with friends and my wife, have had some proper good adventures and fun with it, so when my good mate Steve said he was looking to move it on we had to have it. It hadn't moved since before the pandemic but with a fresh battery and a dust off away it went and drove 50 miles home no sweat. That was last October and I've been using it every day since, only problem has been the starter motor packing up. 

Front hitch is handy !

[bezzabsa]

got me missing landies!!!!! 

owned a few... 3 RR classics -2 3door V8's and a softdash 300Tdi...5 discoveries 1 3door V8, rest were mix of 200&300 Tdi's

1 110, 1 90, 1 freelander 3door dizzel, 4 109's 1 series 2 rest series 3, 5 88's ..

used a 88 2.25 diesel to travel up to Egremont in Cumbria to collect a G reg 90..dollied it back at 45mph all in all 14hours of great "fun" .. ears were ringing for days after