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What proportion of your cars actually "work"


straightSix

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1 out of 3.The Puma is fully working & legal.

The MG Express has been off the road for nearly 2 years.The engine has a bad oil leak & a rear caliper was stuck last time I moved it.

The ZR 105 ran out of test & I haven't done anything with it as not sure if I was keeping it or not.

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I have a pink shrimp alive and well in my dashboard, a scratch on the drivers side rear quater panel (about an inch long and touched in but still officially there) the discs have gone rusty from sitting around after I washed it, and... that's it! So of one vehicle about 99.9% is working and a shrimp is alive so that sort of counteracts all of that and then some so I'd say: 1 vehicle 102% working.

 

It won't last obviously and the tank is full of fuel and will inevitably 'go off' over the next few months, gum up and the entire fuel system will block or fall apart with E10 and the hoses will rot and the tank (plastic) will deform and fall out of the bottom of the car.

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2/4 road legal (not started for two weeks, so unsure otherwise). One utterly fucked (a front wheel flew off the Cielo, put it back but no joy in traction department, so left in a yard some 60 kilometers away) and another one rusted to the point it would be suited for Fred Flintstone traction,but provided some fresh pez and a battery thrown in the mix, it would go under own power. On the same yard as the Cielo.

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7/9, with the 2 not working being my two Olds Auroras that won't start. The Celsior still needs suspension, as in complete springs that arent more or less missing entirely. It does drive though! The rest starts and drives, Corona just doesn't have any coolant in it. I guess that makes it 6/9 depending on how long it would last...

Now thinking about it, the S-class is only driveable if I smash the window as I locked the key in (have to call the dealer on Monday). It also blocks in the Celsior and Senator, and the rest is not at home. That means that only the 528i is readily available right now...

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50%-ish working, assuming the Granvia has enough charge in the battery to start.

That's 3 out of 6. The Saab is road legal but has split it's radiator, the Almera has benefited from the 6 months MOT extension but needs a new battery, tax and insurance, the other Scooby the Legacy GTV needs either a new clutch, a new engine or both!

Touch wood, Volvo and Forester reliable enough to count on to get to hospital in.

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75% of my cars work.

Out of that 75%: 

one works 80% of the time (Peugeot 107, A/C doesn't work and it likes to let water in after rain).

one works 90% of the time (Toyota Corolla, everything works but there's a knock on the suspension and the aux belt squeals)

one works 90% of the time (Rover 25, it warms up then the idle starts hunting. Plus it likes letting rain come in)

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87% (6/7) are working using the original definition. Just the Yugo in the non working column. Although the MX5 has a puncture and all bar the Saab and C5 are SORN now, but if it was a hospital emergency I’d happily use them. 

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Only 1 or 2 out of 4 for me.

The 205 saloon works, but is making worrying noises in neutral and has something up with the clutch or gearbox (and hasn't been started for a month). The 205 van works, but sulked when I tried to start it yesterday. (The starter motor span but wouldn't engage, but was fine after I bump-started it.) The DS is at a Citroen garage with its engine out, waiting for a cylinder head reskim that's on hold for the foreseeable future. The 2CV made it to a 2CV specialist before everything went tits-up and has jumped up their queue as they're not currently getting cars in for M.O.T.s or servicing, which may leave me in the annoying situation in a few weeks of having a car that's all ready for the road that I'm not allowed out to go and pick up.

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In the words of the famous Meat Loaf  " two outta three ain't bad"

Bora: running, full tank of fuel, handling duties beautifully. 

Inca Scene whore: hasn't been used during lockdown, because the Bora is at the top of the drive, and Mrs S hasn't been out. 

Astra: in the garage,waiting for me to change the injector seals (injectors are out) then get the fucked turbo off so I can buy the correct replacement,  although I don't think I'll be getting any bits till after the lockdown. 

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Mine is 4 out of five. so that is 80%. The Rover 75 is out of MoT but if all else fails, then pump up the tyres, charge up the battery then it would start. The Landrover, the Jag and the Renault are all good to go. So is the Focus, but that is my school car, so doesn't count.

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I managed to solve a lot of the problems of all my old shite not working by selling all but one of them. I don’t really class my Insight as part of the shite so it doesn’t count. That always works anyway, even when it’s broken, because Honda. 

That leaves the Anglia. Parked up in the garage in September 2018. Battery is off, tyres are flat and fuel has probably evaporated away by now. Would it get me to hospital? Not unless I could get to Halfords and Esso first. 

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