Dollywobbler's Consolidated Tat Thread

[Timewaster]

I knew I'd seen this before. 

I never saw the footballist show,  but on Sept 1st my piss taking mate sent me this :

With the caption "this would go well with your pink mini" 

 

If it were mine, I'd park it next to a skip and transfer anything gold or green in to it, but that's just me. 

Good luck @dollywobbler

And anyway, my mini is orange. 

[DoctorRetro]

These 'youtubers' and 'influencers' will do anything for clout nowadays 😜

Awesome, wish I'd had the money and balls (pun intended) to do this..

[LightBulbFun]

2 hours ago, dollywobbler said:

Cheers folks. The video.

 

Spotted it after driving a Multipla for a test last week. Ummed and aaah'd a bit too long, then it sold. But of course, it sold* on Ebay! I dropped a message to the seller and sure enough, TWUNTS a-plenty were attempting to ruin his day. So, £200 off and she was mine. Deal done last night, jumped on public transport this morning, got back home all good? Not entirely. Afraid the 'wrong' list will have to wait for tomorrow's video, but there is a piece of me hoping this isn't going to be an utter disaster... (the usual post-purchase sensation!).

 

you know I heard a couple people say that betty was your midlife crisis car,

no, this is clearly your midlife crisis car  what an autoshite car for it too  

very much looking forward to seeing part 2 and how the rest of the family react to it! LOL

[beko1987]

Amazing! The uk version of Tavarish's pimp my ride van

[brownnova]

When I saw this video pop up it was a surprise purchase for sure! 

[Talbot]

This needs all the modifications removing....

With an Axe.

[DoctorRetro]

1 hour ago, brownnova said:

When I saw this video pop up it was a surprise purchase for sure! 

 

[D.E]

If the Fast & Furious movies would have taken place in the Teletubbies universe...

[UltraWomble]

Just think though how AWESOME you would be locally doing the school run in this.

Unless of course the kids are all in high school in which case perhaps not.

[Talbot]

41 minutes ago, UltraWomble said:

Just think though how unbelievably embarrassing it would be to drive this anywhere at any time.

EFA.

[MT606]

MY EYES! MY EYES!

[3VOM]

Do you have any ugly family cars that have been Barried to fuck?

Step this way sir.

[Schaefft]

 

[2cvspecial]

19 hours ago, catsinthewelder said:

Nice car mate 😁

 

Daisy says she wants me to buy it when you're done with it 🤣

buy it when DW finishes using it then ! lol , know you want to 

[Cord Fourteener]

Wow, how to take a shite fleet from the sublime(ish) to the utterly fukkin ridiculous!!!

Good buy. Another car boughted that I wouldn't. 

A unmolested one maybe, but this, no. 

[dollywobbler]

More video soon, and then we can start talking issues.

In other news, the Matiz is still struggling with emissions. Like really badly. Local garage has given up and wants me to collect the car, which is a little dispiriting. It is definitely not running right, still has a lumpy idle and is way, way over on hydrocarbons. So far, this MOT is going to have cost me about £200 and it hasn't actually got a pass... So I'm not sure what to do. I doubt anyone local is going to be able to sort it, as their approach to cheap cars is to throw them away when they can't pass an MOT. Not an option.

[Cord Fourteener]

What happened to the Diahatsu the emissions? I hour you don't have too dirty smoker's in your fleet?

That's bad news. There's plenty of old cars in deepest darkest Wales being maintained, I'm sure you'll find a place somewhere or other that will take it on. 

Maybe you need to start asking farmers and classic farm vehicle places if normal car garages won't look at it. There's a classic tractor place in Capel Isaac, near Llandeilo, not sure how close that is to you. 

Although if you need it hooked up to computertronics then maybe not. 

But you'll find somewhere! I was on holiday in Scotland and ended up at a marine engineering place, they were amazing. 

[egg]

18 hours ago, LightBulbFun said:

no, this is clearly your midlife crisis car  

I concur. Normally, Ian can be perturbed by say, a pair of Bosch Aerotwin wipers on a car that didn't have them from new

This is quite a leap!

[mintwth]

It must be the Australian influence.

That Multipla has some Mighty Car Mods

[dollywobbler]

1 hour ago, Cord Fourteener said:

What happened to the Diahatsu the emissions? I hour you don't have too dirty smoker's in your fleet?

That's bad news. There's plenty of old cars in deepest darkest Wales being maintained, I'm sure you'll find a place somewhere or other that will take it on. 

Maybe you need to start asking farmers and classic farm vehicle places if normal car garages won't look at it. There's a classic tractor place in Capel Isaac, near Llandeilo, not sure how close that is to you. 

Although if you need it hooked up to computertronics then maybe not. 

But you'll find somewhere! I was on holiday in Scotland and ended up at a marine engineering place, they were amazing. 

Charade easily passed the emissions as it doesn't tend to burn oil when warm. We're planning an engine rebuild on that.

[Mrcento]

2 hours ago, dollywobbler said:

More video soon, and then we can start talking issues.

In other news, the Matiz is still struggling with emissions. Like really badly. Local garage has given up and wants me to collect the car, which is a little dispiriting. It is definitely not running right, still has a lumpy idle and is way, way over on hydrocarbons. So far, this MOT is going to have cost me about £200 and it hasn't actually got a pass... So I'm not sure what to do. I doubt anyone local is going to be able to sort it, as their approach to cheap cars is to throw them away when they can't pass an MOT. Not an option.

I'll take a guess that, if it's anything like a Fiat, the issue is going to end up as a coolant temp sensor on the inlet. I've had one of them let go and the result was it just dumping tons of fuel in thinking the inlet temp was -50c and covering the back of the car in black soot.

[BlankFrank]

3 hours ago, dollywobbler said:

More video soon, and then we can start talking issues.

In other news, the Matiz is still struggling with emissions. Like really badly. Local garage has given up and wants me to collect the car, which is a little dispiriting. It is definitely not running right, still has a lumpy idle and is way, way over on hydrocarbons. So far, this MOT is going to have cost me about £200 and it hasn't actually got a pass... So I'm not sure what to do. I doubt anyone local is going to be able to sort it, as their approach to cheap cars is to throw them away when they can't pass an MOT. Not an option.

Some random suggestions/bodge idea:

Find a vacuum line that connects to the intake manifold (after the throttle plate) and get a smoker friend to blow smoke/vape down the exposed vac line so smoke pressurises the intake manifold to rule out any vac leaks (clamp/tie a rubber glove over the throttle opening so it's sealed, any smoke will be visible at the sources of any vac leaks).  Or rent a vac leak-test smoke machine if a smoker/vapist is unavailable. 

Use an OBD2 scanner to make sure the exhaust o2 sensor is doing its thing properly (voltage fluctuating between the proper values as the mixture is adjusted back and forth by the ecu for optimum cat performance)

Check you've got correct fuel pressure at the injectors/fuel rail - low fuel pressure can still allow the engine to run but won't pressurise the injectors sufficiently for the correct spray charicteristics and that will make the ecu change the injector pulse duration and can cause rich running, as backwards as that sounds. Could be sticky/stuck injector(s) causing the same ecu/injector pulse adaption malarky.

If you still have a spare idle air control valve , you could modify it to be jammed somewhere around %70 closed and keep it electrically unplugged to see if it gives you a static idle around where you want it. (Btw, cars often open the idle air control valve fully when shutting off so that if the valve fails to actuate when starting up next time then at least the car runs with the idle air valve open at maximum. That would probably be why the valve looked max-open when you removed it) Ofcourse it won't idle when cold with this mega-bodge but if your aim is to pass the emissions test and worry about the proper fix later then that might work. (you'd probably have to tweak the opening amount to get the correct idle ~800 RPM, do it while engine is warm)

Do you have a multimeter and do you have the ability to check continuity of the various wires between their connectors and the ecu plugs? Could just be a wire causing it. You can also use the multimeter to read the voltage that the exhaust o2 sensor is outputting to get an idea of what the o2 sensor thinks is going on, could be the o2 sensor is duff.

Also, the cat could be bad, if it's a cheap non-oem one they sometimes only last 1 or 2 years.

Oh, and another idea - use a timing light to see if the ecu/coil pack/crank sensor/cam sensor/knock sensor is messing around with the ignition timing, that'd make the idle fluctuate.

(any pro mechanics here, if anything i've suggested is bollocks then please correct me, i'd rather know than not know)

[Remspoor]

32 minutes ago, BlankFrank said:

Use an OBD2 scanner

I suggest DW purchase one of them for the C5, because he thought it was down on power. Maybe they are too electrical  for him?

A good one one is needed or  you cannot diagnose much. Loads of reviews on something called YouTube.

Shame we never got a first reaction from the children video.

[Zelandeth]

22 minutes ago, BlankFrank said:

Some random suggestions/bodge idea:

Find a vacuum line that connects to the intake manifold (after the throttle plate) and get a smoker friend to blow smoke/vape down the exposed vac line so smoke pressurises the intake manifold to rule out any vac leaks (clamp/tie a rubber glove over the throttle opening so it's sealed, any smoke will be visible at the sources of any vac leaks).  Or rent a vac leak-test smoke machine if a smoker/vapist is unavailable. 

Use an OBD2 scanner to make sure the exhaust o2 sensor is doing its thing properly (voltage fluctuating between the proper values as the mixture is adjusted back and forth by the ecu for optimum cat performance)

Check you've got correct fuel pressure at the injectors/fuel rail - low fuel pressure can still allow the engine to run but won't pressurise the injectors sufficiently for the correct spray charicteristics and that will make the ecu change the injector pulse duration and can cause rich running, as backwards as that sounds. Could be sticky/stuck injector(s) causing the same ecu/injector pulse adaption malarky.

If you still have a spare idle air control valve , you could modify it to be jammed somewhere around %70 closed and keep it electrically unplugged to see if it gives you a static idle around where you want it. (Btw, cars often open the idle air control valve fully when shutting off so that if the valve fails to actuate when starting up next time then at least the car runs with the idle air valve open at maximum. That would probably be why the valve looked max-open when you removed it) Ofcourse it won't idle when cold with this mega-bodge but if your aim is to pass the emissions test and worry about the proper fix later then that might work. (you'd probably have to tweak the opening amount to get the correct idle ~800 RPM, do it while engine is warm)

Do you have a multimeter and do you have the ability to check continuity of the various wires between their connectors and the ecu plugs? Could just be a wire causing it. You can also use the multimeter to read the voltage that the exhaust o2 sensor is outputting to get an idea of what the o2 sensor thinks is going on, could be the o2 sensor is duff.

Also, the cat could be bad, if it's a cheap non-oem one they sometimes only last 1 or 2 years.

Oh, and another idea - use a timing light to see if the ecu/coil pack/crank sensor/cam sensor/knock sensor is messing around with the ignition timing, that'd make the idle fluctuate.

(any pro mechanics here, if anything i've suggested is bollocks then please correct me, i'd rather know than not know)

Well said and well written...Not much I'd add to that.

Vacuum leaks, vacuum leaks and vacuum leaks...They cause merry hell on cars of that era and because of how primitive the diagnostic systems are they can't often tell us much...The suggestion of using a fogger to hunt for them is actually a really good idea.  One I may well steal for the Merc once I've got the more immediate concerns sorted as I'm sure it has several.  For £100-150 at a quick web search that looks like a really useful tool to add to the kit.  Especially as you can use it to hunt for elusive exhaust blows, leaks in cooling systems and such as well.

 

My gut feeling is that this is a fuel or air trim issue rather than a stuffed cat.  The rough idle is the clue there.  The cat MAY be stuffed, but if there's a miss that may be effect rather than cause.

 

The only thoughts which immediately spring to mind additional to this are:

[] I'm assuming we don't have a check engine light shown, so we know the car is running (or at least trying to) run in closed loop mode.  Even if we had a stuffed temperature sensor never showing the engine up to temp I think most ECUs will throw an error code if it doesn't come up after something like 15 minutes.

--> Additional to this point, I'm assuming that there isn't any ability to get live data out via the diagnostic port which would allow us to see that things like engine temperature and manifold pressure, IAC position etc were reporting sensible values.  Do we even have access to a proper OBD2 port here, or is Myrtle just about old enough to miss out on that?  Just having access to real live data would be really handy!

[] Confirm the cat is actually doing something.  A non contact thermometer is your friend here.  The OUTLET of the cat should be quite significantly hotter than the inlet as the catalytic reaction going on in there produces quite a bit of heat.  If it's not, the cat isn't doing anything.

 

[LightBulbFun]

5 minutes ago, Zelandeth said:

[] I'm assuming we don't have a check engine light shown, so we know the car is running (or at least trying to) run in closed loop mode. 

I seem to recall there was a check engine light that @dollywobbler had to get around for a previous MOT

but I think that was "fixed" by removing the bulb and going "check engine light? what check engine light!" or something such

so perhaps that check engine light might be related to these running woes 

[Remspoor]

1 hour ago, Remspoor said:

Shame we never got a first reaction from the children video.

I have just been on the Videoland website and sure enough a reaction video. Great work. Elvis had a pink Caddy and HubNut has a pink Multipla.

Some thoughts: Some would say they are boring and down to earth. They do need to be asked.

Will it fit in an underground car park?

In the past it was mentioned that the dog hairs can make a mess. How will you clean the inside of Delia?

 

[dollywobbler]

Thanks folks. Matiz does not use OBD format, which is why the airbag light (not check engine) bulb was removed. I really would like to find a computer that can talk to it for various reasons.

Not sure the Multiplas height will be too much of an issue, but I do need to remember the silly spoiler. Side pipes will be coming off as I simply don't trust them not to fall off. We will keep them but they will be removed for general use.

Oil leak is an odd one. It's pretty huge and now has a drip tray under it. But the oil lever is still about 1cm, maybe even 2 over where it should be. I need to sniff it to make sure it isn't filling the sump with diesel. Won't get any tinkering time until next week now though as I'm off to visit Mr Trigger ahead of his East Coast Retros meet (via Chevronics for more GSA fettling).

[Cord Fourteener]

11 hours ago, HarmonicCheeseburger said:

I fully expect a 0-60 run with zero exhausts. 

Those exhausts are worth +50 Italian horse power. 

The rack of rear facing ones especially contribute in a similar way to say a WW2 fighter aircrafts exhaust stack.

Or at least they would of the were hooked up to a 1000+ hp merlin engine. 

[Zelandeth]

6 hours ago, dollywobbler said:

Thanks folks. Matiz does not use OBD format, which is why the airbag light (not check engine) bulb was removed. I really would like to find a computer that can talk to it for various reasons

 

Thought that might be the case.  Do we know what format it does use?  Likely depends who they bought the injection system from...ALDL was the norm on most GM vehicles of the time (and the TBi equipped Ladas too), which tools do exist to deal with, though finding them can take some digging if you or someone you know isn't up for building an interface adaptor.

Again, I know little about the specific system on the Matiz but on the GM system there was some basic degree of real-time data readout possible with the system in diagnostic mode via flashing the check engine light.  Didn't tell you much, but as I recall did tell you whether the system was reporting a rich or lean condition second by second once it was in closed loop mode.

[wuvvum]

Can we assume then that this fine beast will not be making an appearance at Shotley?