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Tenmil Socket

Bodge Jobs

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"Professional" pride means I've not been responsible for too many long term bodges. A short term solution to a failed throttle body heater cover on the P38 in the middle of nowhere in the pitch black was effected with a Brittany Birch crochet hook and two bottles of Schweppes tonic water.

The best "There I done fixed it" bodge I have independent verification of was a relative who purchased a very frilly Lancia Beta coupe. He didn't know much about welding and bodywork but he did know his concrete. The solution not only provided much needed strength to the structure of the car it also lowered the vehicle's centre of gravity somewhat.

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One bodge I witnessed but had no idea of the back story was an elderly Panda I found myself sitting next to at some traffic lights. The first thing that drew my eye was that the top edge of what passed for a dashboard in those cars had corroded to the point you could see daylight beneath the windscreen. The next thing I noticed was that the bottom half of the door skins had been repaired using what looked for all the world like a Hostess Trolley. What made this very obvious was that the tasteful woodgrain effect plastic coating was still visible. Classy.

Talking to the old man of the days when MOTs were a bit less trict there were a few interesting ones appeared at his old man's garage. Most were related to catastrophic levels of corrosion but one that stuck in the mind was a Beetle the front discs of which had worn to the point that the disc had torn itself from the hub flange. I've seen them thin but never that thin.

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A colleague was so tight he bound up a perished anti roll bar bush with electrical tape until it was sufficiently tight in the clamp. I think it actually cost him more in tape than the cost of replacing the bush. 
Pfft ...amateur !! I bulked mine out with old inner tube wrapped around tightly and then covered in electrical tape.

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4 hours ago, sierraman said:

A colleague was so tight he bound up a perished anti roll bar bush with electrical tape until it was sufficiently tight in the clamp. I think it actually cost him more in tape than the cost of replacing the bush. 

A friend* effected just such a bodge on a certain Vel Satis of the beige. I was actually worried when later replacing said bodge with the correct part that the appalling squeak (successfully banished by the bodge) would return and I would be forced to reinstate the bodge as the better engineered solution. But the shite gods smiled on me that day...

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My dad did similar to his ropy Morris Ital van back in the early 90's The 1300cc engine dumped so much oil out he cut the side out of a Castrol GTX can and tied it to the engine sump with blue rope. Worked well until security at a large retail development spotted it, cordoned it off and rang the police, who then got in touch with bomb disposal. 

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Was reading a while back in a 1960’s Car Mechanics mag about this chap who replaced the rotten sills on his Consul with a length of wood he had made to fit. I’d love to see someone produce a car for the test at Kwik Shit with that now. Imagine taking some absolute nail in with all sorts of ingenious bodges and seeing how many they could find. 

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I once welded up the big balls (3 0f) in a Yugo 45s CV joint and repaired the gearbox casing with araldite.The two things were connected as when the CV shat itself, it split the casing. No Yugo CVs to be found in the western world so FIAT ones had to be modified to fit... they were too small but a few hours with the welder...

Lasted until after I'd both MOT'd it and sold it. Good enough for me at the time (skint).

Once repaired a radiator with araldite (possibly the same tubes) on a Mercedes SE that had popped its head gasket and was pressurising the system. Drilled discrete holes in the rad cap as well to stop any pressure building...

Had a Metro 1.0 with a carb problem, couldn't get it to run properly at all, except with the vaccum hose off. So I left it off and sold it fast.

Had a Datsun 280ZX with a slightly slipping clutch if wellied. Poured Coke and flour in the bellhousing and that made it grip okay for a while. No idea how long as I so... guess! Used to do the same thing with 3 series BMWs when the clutch's started to give out when we raced the heaps. Always got one more race out of them!

BMW 7 series had a weird multi link rear suspension system and the little joints were an arm and a leg. Took them apart and packed them out with bits of tin can cut to shape and hammered in. Passed an MOT...

Many, many more...

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A chap I know had a P38 which went very well, except that the controller for the air suspension had gone fubar. Rather than get it fixed, he managed to break out the connections to each corner (i.e. the electrical connections that tell each bag to inflate/deflate) with a ribbon cable, which looked like it had come from a PC, trailing out of the dash. This entered a 2-gang domestic electrical back box and face plate (white plastic) which sat atop the dash and sometimes fell off when you went round a corner. Four rocker switches were hacked into it to make each corner go up/down. 

This man also did the sound system for Live Aid 🙄

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18 hours ago, sierraman said:

Imagine taking some absolute nail in with all sorts of ingenious bodges and seeing how many they could find. 

That is a genius idea for a TV show. Hide some cameras around the car to see how much they actually check/what they say while MOTing it :)

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If such a show/channel went mainstream, it might prove very unpopular with people who have 'favoured' testing stations - ones where their cars "never have a problem"...

Not that I could condone such practices. Oh no. Not me. Nope.

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18 hours ago, djoptix said:

 

This man also did the sound system for Live Aid 🙄

Didn't that fuck up half way too and they had to get Tracey Chapman to do a solo acoustic set, thereby giving her fame instantly?

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19 minutes ago, Kowalski said:

Didn't that fuck up half way too and they had to get Tracey Chapman to do a solo acoustic set, thereby giving her fame instantly?

No. You're thinking of the Nelson Mandela birthday concert in 1988. His PA systems were pretty epic to be fair. 

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