Jump to content

Things that really do your head in when selling a car


sierraman

Recommended Posts

I once had one complain about the colour match on the front bumper. Car was £300. Then he went on at length to tell me he knew everything about Mondeos (he knew fuck all in reality) and how he’d seen much better examples but he’d be prepared to give me £100 on it. He’d not even driven it! 

The absolute worst are those that condescend you with telling you about what might or might not go wrong. So they expect a discount in case the clutch goes or it fails the test. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like* people making a 90 mile round trip to pretend not to be interested in buying a car. They also tend to adopt a stupid auction/poker faced expression as soon as they cross the threshold, fooling no one. I've even seen people doing both these things in a main dealership, presumably in the hope of knocking a few k off a new or nearly new car by the power of feigned disinterest.  

 

*by like I mean detest vehemently 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

People turning up with lots of their mates*. Can be a bit intimidating. Easy now I am an old geezer - I just play the old geezer. I never show anything after dark (I think there is a joke in there) cus standing about with people I never met ain't cosy.

*there are several variations on this...including the 'sour partner' who spends the whole viewing tutting and rolling their eyes. I console myself by thinking I'm just flogging them a banger not actually having to bang them...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There are also the 'will it' enquiries:

Will it drive to Inverness*? 

Will it pass it's next MoT?

Will it fly me to the moon?

Those too who obsess about how many owners and mileage. You want a £350 car with less than 100,000 miles...oh yeah well keep on looking...etc. 

My XM has 185,000 on the clock and 7 owners. I'm damned if I could tell. The average jet liner does about 50M miles in its life...

*random example - anywhere recklessly far away in an unknown car may be substituted - extra points for at night..in the winter and with a sick elderly  relative on board.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ooh, don't get me started. Here's a few. 

1. The Silence. Those who agree a time and just go silent / block you, when you chase up their whereabouts. 

2. The Excuse Machine. 'My mum's aunt's dog had a broken toenail, so I won't be able to make it, can you hold until next Tuesday?' Fuck off

3. The Alternative. Where there is apparently another car in similar spec that they have viewed that is better and cheaper. Well buy that one then. 

4. The Proxy. Buying for a partner / son, etc. Usually turns into a number 1 or 2.

5. The Miser. Trying to get money off due to distance, personal circumstances, etc. Again, Fuck off. 

6. The Undecided. Fafs and umms and arrs. Trying to disconcert you into a low offer perhaps? I tend to lose patience before that. 

7. The Mechanic. Usually attends with number 6. Usually clueless and just there for effect. 

Favourite response to a silly question? 

Them: What's the petrol like? 

Me: Sort of golden and smelly. 

He actually turned out to be a decent young lad and ultimately bought the car, so they aren't all bad. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, TheDoctor said:

 

3. The Alternative. Where there is apparently another car in similar spec that they have viewed that is better and cheaper. Well buy that one then. 

 

 

Oh god that one 100%. By all means let me know you've decided to buy a different one, but what do they hope to achieve? OK mate I'll sell you mine for £2.50 as there's a better one

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, sporty-shite said:

Bit of a facepalm moment this morning. Guy arranges to view the Saab. Hes coming from Middlesbrough (about a 2hr drive) and says he'll definitely have it, if it's as described.  

Gets here on time. Great.

Looks round car, and seems keen. Great. 

Starts it up, asks for short test drive. Great. 

Half way round test drive, asks "is it diesel?"

Yes, it is. 

Oh. I wanted a petrol one. Drives back to Sporty Towers, makes his apologies, acknowledges he hasn't read the advert properly, and leaves. 

Fucked my post-nightshift lie in right up. 

Good grief. That sounds like someone getting buyer's remorse before parting with money and finding any old excuse to get out of it.

I've sold nearly all my cars privately, with only one being PXed and a couple going on here (one roffle, one direct sale), and when using AutoTreeBay to sell I've experienced pretty much every single thing in this thread.

Over the years I've adopted a far more direct approach to communicating prior to a visit, to the point where, even after arranging a viewing with someone, I do not believe them or take them seriously until they turn up at my house and are in the car, and if they are not at my house within 10 minutes of the appointed time (and there's been no communication at all), I simply get on with my day. Until someone is sat in the car with me and seems actually enthusiastic about the car itself or is just being communicative, I basically abandon all hope of ever actually selling it, even if I've only just put it up for sale.

I've also had the bunch-of-people turn up en masse to view a car before. Frankly, I was terrified because I'm a six foot sapling that could be blown over by a gnat's fart and all four of them (including the prospective buyer) were rather larger than me and just looked tough. I made a point of closing and locking the door behind me as I left the house, but I needn't have worried because, hilariously, they'd all tagged along to seemingly take the piss out of the person for buying yet another Saab (I was trying to sell the 9-3 Aero at the time). It seemed that all the others preferred Volvos and had owned about sixty gazillion between them, and were content to be left standing outside my house discussing them while I went out for a test drive. 

The guy turned out to be the perfect buyer. He rang within 10 minutes of the Gumtree ad going up, said he'd be with me at around 2pm, arrived at 2pm, knew exactly what he was looking at but didn't try to blag anything (I'd already disclosed the noisy clutch release bearing), and within five minutes of the test drive ending offered me £100 less than the asking price, which I accepted, and he immediately handed me an already-prepared bundle of cash.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Everything is instantaneously guaranteed to get on my last nerve when selling a car. 

I usually get so annoyed by the majority of buyers wasting my time by either not showing up or trying to get 50% off the price. 

Usual results range from me locking the car and walking away from them to taking it to the crusher. 

Why do they think I have the time in my life to waste with their bullshit? 

I could go on for hours on this subject but I won't. 

Mayor Mcfucknuggets! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've never sold a car and have no intention of starting now.

All but one have gone to the scrapyard and it was the best place for them.

The odd one out was an Accord that I 'part exchanged' for my first C5.  He paid the first six months tax and presumably scrapped it, it had been written off a year before but drove OK so hung on to it until the last minute.

As I couldn't drive both cars home I just wanted rid of it.  Very little wrong with it other than a crumpled boot lid where I was rear ended while stationary.

Buying is enough of a pain.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fake experts.

"i know these cars better than anyone. it'll need the head gasket done soon"

It had one 6 months ago...and a new water pump, head skimmed, , new radiator hoses...it's perfect and will be for years.

"nah, they go every year m8, And it'll need a timing belt"

It got a new one at the head gasket job, and a new tensioner.... it's done under 5k miles

"But peace of mind m8....i'd always be worried that the engine would be destroyed"

It's a non interference engine..... Fuck off.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I still remember the shock of sitting in the cinema and watching Vinnie Jones destroy the back end of my uncle's old Granada estate. It was a lovely example which he'd sold a couple of years previous to a fella who was going to 'keep it tip top'. 

It still had his tow hitch fitted which had pulled their Elddis around the southwest on numerous family holidays over the years. 

Forever infamous and key star in a major film - there are worse ways for a car to end its days, despite the fact that the buyer was likely a lying twunt. 

i004178.jpg

snap4253.jpg

gra012200fx5.3716.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Renault Master there too! Your buyer may have sold on to a film company? You often hear people talking about renting them to film companies - its easier for them to just buy stuff if they can - then have a free hand.  Some famous road chase movies got through a lot of cars. 

This must have: McQ. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, jamiechod said:

Selling a mk5 golf sdi for £500. 2 Eastern Europeans all over it for 10 minutes 'it's 5 speed I wanted 6 speed thank you' and just walked off. Wtf! 

Mind you, at least they didn't fuck about and waste more of your time.  I had a bloke get the coach down from Bradford, spent over an hour ruminating over this and that, and I finally lost my patience and basically said "do you want it or not?".  The car in question was the BX of many shiters, so I'm glad he didn't buy it as it's been through about seven of us since then.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gumtree is good because you can screen 'buyers'.  I give message only as an option,  and only entertain those who string a coherent sentence together, or are curt but also polite.  I'm yet to sell a car via eBay.  Admittedly I hardly use it, but the costs and the potential twattery put me off.  I don't like the idea of someone leaving me negative feedback unreasonably (I like to think I'm not a shitehawk either, and will disclose known faults).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, Bren said:

Was asked by message on gumtree if there was any petrol in a £400 car I was selling.

Did you reply "I hope not, it's a diesel".

Mind you, I always try and leave some in there, even if it's just a fivers worth.  I find it a bit annoying when you buy something and it's at the bottom of the red.  That V8 BMW I bought for actual money recently was a case in point.  Considering it did 16mpg urban I limped it to the nearest pez station 5 miles away, as the gauge wasn't registering at all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...