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big Al & Flat4 fleet fred--- scoob mot'd


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as everyone else has their own fleet thread thought I'd do one of ours, so in no particular order and it will be updated with pics and news as work gets done or not

The bus, 96 Toyota Granvia 3litre turbo diesel 4wd auto, had it about 3 years and used as dayvan, needs towbar fitting and a wee bit of bodywork as previous owner didnt stop when they heard the crunch, strong as a ox on the road, space for flat4 to sleep with 4 mutts or me to use as motorsport marshal doss van, probably the pride of the fleet atm

the fury, 96 subaru legacy twin turbo manual, unfortunately off the road for a couple of years now with suspected snapped clutch fork, at mates garage and bottom of the q. needs clutch fork, service, mot and a bloody good clean and detail, been stored undercover so not dissolving in the scottish weather

05 nissan almera, my car had it since 2006, boring reliable workhorse, exhaust blowing a bit probably at the join between middle section and back box. on local duties atm like food shopping as it is the only one dogs cant get into boot and rob food. the almera is the one that usually does the boring, mundane work, have dossed in it a few times at knockhill, not the most comfy tho

99, BMW 530 touring, newbie to the fleet and a lovely big barge, arrived on saturday and got a wash and wax, paint better than expected, needs a bit of bodywork at the back end, a ignition switch panel as currently trying to shove a screwdriver in and a couple of footery jobs like windscreen washers to get working. set of tyres to be picked up as fat4 doesnt rate whats on it, will be a cracker once in traffic

flat4 will probably contradict everything i have said now

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Today's wee job on the Beemer.


Changing this :huh::common070:



Tbf Bramz did warn me they were already on the way out but last night's run has finished it off. Thankfully it has a full size spare which is surprisingly still in date and decent enough tread! Of course it was flat tho lol




Why oh why do BMW use bolts instead of studs tho ffs??? I really don't fancy faffing about with these by the side of the road!


Taking the wheel off has also revealed the low pad warning light is telling the truth. 



Not much meat left but the car still stops fine for 1700kg of metal. Those will be next on the list to sort after the ignition has been fixed and a full new set of Goodyear Eagle F1 Assymetric 3s have been fitted :D



Those are tomorrow's jobs for tame mechanic ;)

Never thought I'd hear myself say this but I actually prefer the handling to the Legacy it has just replaced. IMO Subaru dropped the ball with the Gen 4 trying to cater to the mass market but the Beemer is so much more chuckable. Looking forward to seeing how it does wearing a decent set of boots :D

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Update - they're all fucking broken!!!

The Almera still has a blowing exhaust and the Beemer still isn't wearing any suitable boots because tame mechanic hasn't had a chance to fix the bodged ignition yet. And I've had the lurgy so couldn't really be arsed doing anything the last couple of weeks.

So the funbus has been on daily drive duties, including our nice wee trip to the Ayrshire seaside to look at other vintage buses.


It does alright as a daily drive, I used it for a month to do an 80 mile commute when I worked in an office but the fuel economy is shite for a derv. 24-26 when I drive, barely 30 when Al does. I'm sure the Beemer wouldn't have needed the extra fill up on our way home on Saturday.

Alas, today while taking the dogs home from their physio sessions, the funbus decided to join the party -


Should have been attached some where about here...



I don't know if you can see from the angle but there is another fucking great hole at the bottom of this bit of the exhaust, so the whole damn lot is gonna need replaced. I currently can't work out whether this section is part of the back box assembly or if it's also going to need a centre section too.

I thought best to remove the offending article in the mean time as that smashing into another car behind me would not be pretty!



It was being held on only by a single rubber exhaust mount....

Any recommendations for some one in Scotland who can make me up a stainless?

Repair list so far - 2 exhausts, a new ignition, fit fresh tyres, front pads, track rod end, both the Beemer and the bus then need wheel balancing and alignment, full set of shocks for the bus as 2 are weepy, tow bar and air con recharge.... Remind me again why I love cars????

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14 hours ago, big_al_granvia said:

the bus isnt any more noisy  sod it bit of scaffold pole will do it


That's the spirit, the Exploder sounds quite fruity with no back box and a tailpipe fitted to the centre box. Merlin Motorsport are cheap for universal exhaust parts

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2 hours ago, Flat4 said:

Apart from booking you for having no exhaust and thus not meeting MOT standards?


You'd REALLY have to fail the aptitude test with the cops to get done for that. It passed an MOT like that! The Exploders exhaust doesn't sound antisocial and is supported properly. Also the chance of Plod knowing how much exhaust it actually should have is minimal. 

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It passed an MOT with the back box still attached. Even a cursory glance underneath, it's pretty obvious there's a bit missing as it stops just behind the back wheel rather than finishing at the bumper.... Suppose one could plead ignorance tho "Must have only just happened officer, honest" ;)

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trick is not getting stopped by the old bill in the 1st place, drive nice and sensibly, give racing room, dont be a fanny and they wont stop you... touch wood i havent had a pull in 10 years. plod is interested in tyres, lights and shit like that, they dont carry noise meters and assuming it isnt clagging like a steam loco they dont really give a crap about the engine either

plus being nice to them helps, it usually confuses the shit out of them

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So last night we had a go at removing the dent on the tailgate of the BMW, removal of trim was easy enough but those panels are solid, couldnt get a drift into the middle of the dents to push them out plus even with a 2kg hammer it was not shifting.. Not wanting to spend money on a bodyshop or smart repair to pull dent out.. Sod it, rust will be treated and painted.. This thing is bloody solid, can see why the unlimited banger boys like them, can see it being able to take a big hit

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They're all REALLY broken now. New ignition switch arrived for the Beemer as the current one is now FUBAR'd as it ain't designed to be started with a screwdriver, but I can't fit the damn thing coz neither key is opening the only door with a key slot.....How do I break into my own car???? Pretty sure it's the ignition switch causing these issues as I've read they cause all kinds of weird symptoms.

On another note, does anyone know if anti-foaming agents are harmful to a derv that runs on veg? Granvia currently taking a healthy mix of veg and diesel. Cheapest place currently Farmfoods for bulk purchasing but it has anti foaming agents, which I'm not sure are safe to use.

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  • 2 weeks later...

It's ALIVE!!!!! :D:D:D


After an almighty faff being passed from pillar to post by AA's call centre because someone-who-isn't-me didn't add Home Start to their membership but has been paying a ridiculous price for this year's cover, we eventually got them to send a patrol out at no extra cost as we've renewed every year since 2013 and hardly used them, surprisingly. Turns out the battery was dead after all, which may have been caused by a faulty boot switch leaving 2 interior lights on and thus draining the battery. So after doing 262,000 miles and the key being used to open it for who knows how many of those miles, as the fobs don't work on the central locking, the manual over ride for the electronic opening just didn't work. Worn barrel most likely, so first step, AA man gets the booster pack hooked up to the alternator to get us enough juice to get the damn door open which then allowed us to open the bonnet and we were hoping also release the boot to charge the battery (which is in the boot if you didn't already know). He knew this because he'd been at an X3 with the same problem....what a fucking design flaw! As now, despite getting the door open, the boot wouldn't release and the central locking wouldn't operate from the switch on the console. Plus we only had 2 warning lights on the dash instead of the usual rainbow there should be at start up. I was bloody glad we had a mechanic at this point as I was sure once I changed the ignition switch for a replacement which wasn't chewed to pieces, that it would fire.

He checked the fuses for a few things in the glove box as it was looking like power just wasn't getting to the battery. All was okay there. Next, he repositioned his jump leads in the engine bay. Didn't see what he did but MAGIC happened! All the lights started working, the boot released and we got the battery charged enough off his van to bring that glorious, dirty straight six back into life :D I've never heard such a beautiful racket!!!

But still the interior lights remained on even with everything closed, and there weren't any warning lights on the display to say anything was open, but the central locking still didn't work. We went round all the doors to check they were indeed closed and opened and closed both bits of the tailgate again. That put the interior lights out and hey presto! The central locking also started working again. Seems that's a design feature to make sure you have closed everything before locking up. So at this point I don't know if it was user error or another fault to add to the list of running repairs.

All I can tell you is that, as much as I love my bus, it's soooo nice to be back in a daily drive that doesn't feel like it's going to topple over going round a corner ;) I surprised myself just how comfortable I am with it, now that the worn out ignition switch has been replaced. It's still not perfect and still requires 2 keys to start it but it's much more reliable than having to reach for the screwdriver....So I can really DRIVE it now, without being worried about stalling it :D

Next trip out will be on Thursday to our holistic vets and maybe a trip to tame mechanic to finally get decent shoes on it. Thus far it's only been for a thrash along our North shores and a round trip to fill up with diesel. AA man advised leaving the engine on for an hour to charge the battery which I took full advantage of ;) Here's hoping it behaves itself from now on.....

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also when looking for other shit in the garage i foind a tin of aldi hammerite in dark green, okay will probably be too light but will do as rustproofer/undercoat. now we can open the effin thing again i might be able to get the bits of rust on its tailgate boshed... f'kin thing has to f'kin great dents in the tailgate anyway so some patches of paint that arent colour matched isnt going to make it any more shite


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  • big_al_granvia changed the title to big Al & Flat4 fleet fred--- scoob mot'd

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