Andy's awful autos: Delivery day - Patches has arrived

[Cooper1]

Great thread this..  

 

Some pucker phucking welding too! 

[Raff]

Have that problem on my Mk5 Astra battery tray and have been wondering what to do about it. Might try your method!

[Andyrew]

Another day another mount,

Along with changing the mount the old dolop clocked over 154k the other day so an oil change was due, its 3rd service with me. A new filter and some fresh 10w40, I checked the air filter and it still looks fairly good. Will change it in a couple of thousand. The air box however was filthy.  With it coming off to do the mount I gave it a rinse out. 

 

[Andyrew]

With the air box removed I tackled the engine mount, a jack under the sump. A male and female torx bit, 5 mins done, delighfuly simple. 

 

 

[Andyrew]

When removing the air box the pipework had become brittle and split. This was glued and then wrapped with insulation tape. Seems good enough. I gave the engine bay a quick scrub and called it done. Rocker cover gasket needs doing but it's got the injectors through it which makes it a faff. I'll get round to it at some point. 

 

 

[Andyrew]

The old girl was also treated to a set of the darker smoked rear lights that matched the headlights, i wasn't in a rush to change them but kept an eye out for a pair cheap so when I got this pair for 15.50 delivered on ebay I was happy.

Like the headlights, I was a bit unsure but they have grown on me now. 

Before 

After. 

[Andyrew]

Took the week off today. We was only doing one customer at a time and the less staff the better really. As I had stuff to do at the workshop I decided I'd be better off up the workshop away from people. Just me and s shitty car.

The dyane then, the passengers wing is bollocksed, I got a decent replacement ages ago but would prefer to go for plastic replacements so decided to wob up what's on there and make it look better. 

So how much wob was in the front wing? 

That'll be alot then

 

[Andyrew]

Out with the 80 grit and the die grinder

Grim, I'm assuming the wing was frilly and then took a knock at some point. The headlight bowl is busted and some metal plates seem to have been riveted in place.

 

[Andyrew]

The headlight bowl is shafted so I didn't bother to remove it. It's WOB time!

Troweld it on. 

 

A skim over some of the other small dents whilst I'm there. 

[Andyrew]

 Many hours of sanding filling and more sanding. Got me to this stage.  

I'm not aiming for perfection so there's a few dings left in it.

I had half a can of primer so decided to lob it on. Looks good enough to me, I flatted it back after it had dried in preparation for another coat and some yellow Tuesday. 

And then the country went into lockdown. 

Sad Face. 

 

[LightBulbFun]

like for the work done  

not for the country going into lockdown bit!

 

as a side note, don't think I knew you had a dyane, tis very cool! is its general story documented anywhere?  

I look forward to seeing it at the FoD or such like once the world is open again! (would go well with @brownnova's Yellow 2CV ) 

[Andyrew]

7 minutes ago, LightBulbFun said:

As a side note, don't think I knew you had a dyane, tis very cool! is its general story documented anywhere?  

Nothing documented about it really. 

My dad bought one many moons ago when i was little ish (still chubby tho).  It must have had 30 or so patches welded on it even then 20plus years ago. It got scrapped due to rust and the brakes seizing on.  

Fast forward many moons and myself and my better half were out for a walk when I recognised the shape of a car under a cover. Knowing that the grille and a couple of bits from the old dyane was still in my dad's shed I thought I'd knock and see if they would be any use to the owner. So I nipped up the drive and knocked on the door. 

5mins or so later I left the owners front door and wandered down to my other half waiting at the end of the drive. She asked if I'd bought it? 

In my mind yes, but id agreed to comeback the following day for a look round and a chat. What can I say. She knows me well. 

Used it for a while, it was a London car for most of its life so only has around 35k on the clock. It then went up north and was "restored" by Stevie wonder, then it was purchased by the P.O simon who had it as a wedding car and used it for the honeymoon driving around parts of the uk.

Of course when it was "restored" it was painted underside in Schultz and that's when it all turns to shit, it came of the road for welding, stripped it down found it clagged in filler, Shultz causing heavily pitted panels which at the time weren't avalible at a reasonable price so i ended up abandoning it in the workshop, distracted but other shite.

 

[Andyrew]

Doors of opportunity. 

With the decision made that id have 3 weeks in and stay home, I decided to not crack on with welding on the dyane up the workshop in case I smash a bumper into my face or slice myself with a grinder as now would not be the time to be going to a hospital. 

When I was last at the workshop I had grabbed some of the fitting for the doors. 3 doors, 2 fibreglass wings and a tailgate had previously been painted (bloody ages ago) by my friend Chris. I had asked for them to be painted to a sort of factory 80s finish, not polished and orange peel not a problem. 

One door is a replacement as the one that was fitted was shit and a decent replacement came up and it was easier to replace than repair. So I started with that one as the old one was complete and I could refresh how they went together by swapping the bits over. The bed makes a perfect non-scratch work bench. 

Old wanky door, clagged in filler, rusted out. Filled with shitty waxoyl and painted in the dark.

[Andyrew]

Stripped down, components cleaned up and reassembled into the new door. I went over all the glass with a razor blade to scrap of the built up crud round the rubbers. Rubbers were scrubbed aswell.

One window in.

Trim clips fitted. I then worked out id put them in the wrong place. 3 are the same and one differs having a different shape to stop the stainless trim sliding back and forth.

Assembled. The handles normally have a gasket behind them. But I hadn't ordered any and the ones on there fell appart. They can be fitted at a later date. 

[Andyrew]

Seems I've not bought half the parts with me for the o.s rear so that just got the glass and rubber cleaned up then fitted.

 

[Andyrew]

The tailgate. 

This is a 10 footer at best (to me anyways but most wouldnt notice it at first) The doors and wings are spot on but the tailgate is a bit of a let down. Firstly the rear glass was pretty pitted and showered in grinding sparks. A large volume popped out when I whipped over with the razor blade. The rubber had loads of paint along the edges from a poor masking attempt by a P.O. this required me sitting and just carefully scraping the edge of the rubber.

It's hard to photo but the prep work under the paint is bad, but in defence of Chris who painted the panels it was pretty shagged when i gave it to him. Horrible paint that was about 3mm thick painted over stickers that were on the boot and The top was buckled over and rusted through ( a common dyane thing) . He fixed the top by welding in a bit of angle over after chopping out the rot. He said it was as good as he could get it whilst keeping the cost to a reasonable price, I think this cost £100. And the other panels about £60 each. I can always get it blown over again at some point if needed. 

 

[Andyrew]

Another day another door. The last of the 3 that was painted. The passengers wasn't painted, it's not too bad so it was left at the time. 

Drivers door then. 

The window frame is a semi solid rubber that had a few retaining selftapers annoyingly put through in the slots where the glass slides. It's a fidgety job. I put a blood of silicone in the holes first.

Some of the internal metal framing has rusted and is coming through but at 50 quid each to replace these are good enough for me. 

Glass cleaned with some g101 and a razor blade. Lock and handle fitted then the window slide rail was fitted. 

Door lock, handle and trim all cleaned up and fitted. Job done. 

[Andyrew]

Edge of my seat!

The subtle colours of the dyane consist of yellow outside, with orange seats and brown door panels, an odd selection but I love it. 

The seats however now being 40 years old have suffered some sun damage, some sagging and other little bits of damage.  The passengers upper was very bad and the drivers based is knackered. 

Starting with the passengers. 

The base was pretty good. The back however was less so the top edge/corner had a rather interesting repair, this was under a patch of glued on Orange felt. 

Many moons ago I bought 1 decent looking passengers seat on ebay with the plan to swap the top half over and use the base to fix the drivers seat. 

My partner and i went to collect the seat. 

Turned out it was sold by some dyane owning jam making nutjob, who had rifles dotted about the place, him preaching about brexit and end up with him getting my other half to read out a list of iconic bellends. A truly mental experience that my partner said if she hadn't been there she wouldn't have believed me if I'd have told her about it. We left with the seat and couldn't get away fast enough. A true lunatic. 

The seat then sat in the workshop. It was pretty shit compared to the photos and then experience left it with a negative vibe. 

Anyway fast forward a few years to last week and look what I got on eBay. New old stock, so the nutjob visit was a complete waste of time.

 

 

[Andyrew]

Stripping off.

Whilst the seat was complete I set to cleaning the base cover so I could give it a scrub with some APC. There was quite a bit of watermarking and little black dots, possibly mold? Either way a scrub was needed. The colour of the seats make them hard to photo.

[Andyrew]

Cover story. 

With the covers peeled away. The true beauty of what lay beneath is exposed. 

Look at it, finely engineered to give you the support you need whilst gripping you in place on the corners. 

Don't worry that is just some of the APC that's leaked through and not a previous passenger. 

Dried, cleaned and the sponge fixed and reglued in numerous places. The new cover was put on and stretched into place. 

It's on for now so that the fabric has some time to take shape then I'll pull it around again and finish it in the fiddlely bit between the base and back. These seats don't recline or adjust .

Looking good tho

[MorrisItalSLX]

Those seats are fantastic! Just like my favourite MGB deckchairs.

[Andyrew]

1 hour ago, MorrisItalSLX said:

Those seats are fantastic! Just like my favourite MGB deckchairs.

I assume it was a popular style in design in the late 70s?  I cant find what style it's called tho. 

[Andyrew]

There's an arse for every seat. 

Like with anything that comes into a home with cats, the drivers seat had been claimed.

This wasn't overly a problem due to the fact the base of the seat is fairly hanging.  Now I'm sure there's certainly worse seats but this one sagged and had worn a hole through to the metal frame.  The idea is to transplant the passengers old base over.

Ripped / worn though to the frame, 

Errrrrrrrrrrrppppppppp

 

[Andyrew]

Whilst the seat was still together I gave the back half a clean as that is being reused. I ended up cleaning about 3/4 of it as it appeared to have a void behind the fabric. It felt like the sponge had moved. 

 Then, it was time for the big reveal, what lay beneath? 

Urgh. 

[Andyrew]

Day 1- the dig

Introducing sister-rews landfill edition zafira. She's an untidy person in general but as a single mother of 3, with no driveway, working hard at the moment as a key worker (pharmacist) the zafira get used and abused daily, parked in various places getting bashed about. So keeping it looking good is a low priority, it gets fixed by me when something breaks, and the occasional service.  It doesn't do alot of miles but does tons of short journeys.  

She had told me of a juddering whilst braking and a slight pull to one side, also that the kids had mentioned to mummy that the car smells of cheese. 

So shall we check this beauty out?

Grim. 

[Andyrew]

With the zafira dropped off , sister-rew was handed the keys to the Astra and I've said to leave the zafira with me for 4 or so days to clean it and give it a look over for the brake problem.

Why 4 days to clean a car then? Let's look inside shall we. 

Ohh that's not bad, normal really 

To the back then. . 

[Andyrew]

Time to rummage Then, with stuff that wasn't trash fished out and shaken off, I was left with at least a full meal of food and crumbs. There's plenty of stains but the aim for today was to get the dust and loose dirt brushed and hovered up, I will address the stains tomorow.

Mats removed, the passengers one has had something splashed / spilt onto It, I think this was the cause of the slight smell, 

Better grab the brush then, a cheap scrubbing brush is a must if your going to clean up shitters, really helps get some of the ingrained shite out,  then a once over with the hoover, repeat if really bad like the drivers mat. 

The interior carpets were vac'd and brushed aswell to get the most out.

[Andyrew]

As I was in the footwell, I decided to give the pedals a once over, I'd mixed up a bottle of APC and with a bit of a scrub they came up alright, The heel pad was also scrubbed.

 

[Andyrew]

Getting Agitated,

With the car vac'd out it was time to give  the grime on the plastics some attention,  the door shuts looked bad but the colour of the interior doesn't help, one side looked to have had something spilt into it at some point, so this was soaked with APC , agitated with a detailing brush, then wiped off with a cloth. 

Soaked and brushed 

Dried off

All the door panels and pockets got the same treatment.

With the neighbours probably tired of the vacuum cleaner having been on and off for about three hours I decided that was a good place to finish today.  Not bad, given the neglect and the 100k+ miles on this it's a testament to how hardy these old zafs are. Im sure @Lord Sterling would approve. 

More tomorow, 

 

[Lord Sterling]

I heartily approve of both Zafira and cleaning job. ?