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eBay tat volume 3.

Ross_K

By Ross_K
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egg Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

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Posted

While I'm on Microcars.... @nigel bicklehad one of these I believe, a Scootacar - this restored example is £25k! (Same engine as my In**car)

https://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C1124242?fbclid=IwAR0qdKepOKhc9eQivTqPJo0Jj3RRYGsfXBrFQ64my5IyEmEIISmKcostlUc

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willswitchengage Rank: Isuzu Florian

willswitchengage

Posted
Posted

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https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/breaking-news-LULU-IS-FOR-SALE-the-coolest-stealth-van-swb-ford-TRANSIT/283546506663?hash=item4204b055a7:g:bYgAAOSwbeNdJ0ZA

I think the only way to do this justice is to post the whole advert. The the Booker prize already been won this year? The font size has copied in an odd way but just skip to random sentences in the text and be like WTF/LOL, in a nice way.

Quote
hey all , this advert is for a certain type of person who see's a new vehicle as a family member .
its long,please read it all before msging me..i do not have internet phone so will check the advert daily i will return your serious enquiries
 
this is lulu,  the coolest lookin stealth bomber out there,
if your from or visit scarbados area you have seen her i bet. 
so now you know,  i wasnt dogging , i was mixing an album ...
she is a hippy truck, defo not for  parcels and settee removal, thats no way to treat this lady.
she has failed her m.o.t.. and this is my sign to get on with what i should be doing
 not skiving off sleeping around seaside hehe. 
so for like minded souls this is the truck, everything is going with her, 
all the items listed and in the pictures, 
if your in Hull you get a free retest till next wednesday.
its like this,  there are other makes of van , some seem posher if thats ur thing 
mercs, vws, the french make some too, but there is this thing that keeps transits apart from the competition. 
for me its the looks ,they just made em look cool in the mark6
i also like  what they stand for (the advert said backbone of britain, another tool in your tool box)
blue collar straight forward cool,
if you are serious about old van ownership , inevitably, the cost of new or spare bits is a big factor, 
to my eyes this is a cooler lookin van than any t4 t5, 
those guys  rep a different vibe,  this owner is the ratrod,hotrod ,festival goer crusty lives in a  teepee end of the forest, defo not the concourse de conspicuous consumption show.
 a 50k van ? noooo you got it wrong mate... parts for these are so cheap you will laugh.with relief.
 i had bmws before transits phew this whole van wasn't as much as an exhaust manifold for the last one so its all been a breeze since , until lately in my personal world, youve heard it before but sometimes its true , i am a struggling musician and this is one of those you either commit or  jump off a cliff times.  hull is flat so its commit hehe. 
 
this van has been my bezzy and only companion.she has been my place of refuge and spiritual development as well as letting me do my work in some lovely places
and im easy  if you think thats ........   or ....  include your own cool/rude word here...
if your cool to this sort of thing il tell you a few lulu stories that you may find enlightening. 
 
my logicator at work...i saw it as the cost of a van once, is holibobs wen u wanna,
she  is a home for as long as you need , im glad i bought her and i never looked back,
 well that maybe due to the neck injury tho. ..jokes...
 lazy cow...
she retired from work vanning a long time ago.only been a lady of leisure for years now.
no not the ex wife the van..
 truthfully  i have to sell her, i dont want to. were back on the van again now obvs, 
i have no money so even though the repairs are easy n cheap  i havent got enough. 
no i am not asking for charity either,  fair exchange is no robbery. 
today 12th jul i had a quote  for the welding 
£300 welding and the power steering pipe repair n bulb, 
new pipes are  available on ebay from £35 to £75 .
having said that the guy i go to is not cheap ,so you may get a better quote. im sure you will get a better quote ,i think this van is worth £2000 plus with m.o.t so even at buy her now iv took a slap but needs must. 
iv seen loads of others  but lulu is  so much cooler ,she  sits right if you know what i mean , looks like a modded truk.im no welder but i can reach all the areas easy from the side of the van,the welding is all accessible. the yellow marks are a  small hole nearside nr the nsf mudflap, 
a bit along the outer sill on o/s drivers near rear wheel arch and two bits at the back each side, and the sheet says seat belt anchorage point n/s front. the n/s rear fog light bulb needs replacing, just a bulb,and headlight aim, which i think is done now.
the  welder guy i used is mad because he says the rear part shouldn't have failed. 
ie didn't need doing, and was dubious about the anchorage point bits too,
i am the unluckiest man alive  so maybe your tester will be a bit more normal. 
ours really isnt..
 
most of the welding was done  last year, i was going to have this last bit done months ago but finances wouldn't allow .i intended on keeping her for years.well ever actually, 
i was quoted by the same bloke on this years welding £150 for next test ,last year,
now we are here its £300 and thinks iv forgot . i bet you have a easy job of this.
 
she drives and runs lovely, no rattles or clunks,
she never uses water, or oil, starts first touch of the key, winter or summer, 
i spent a lot of time in out the way places , if she did not start id still be there,
 or walking to a phone still, so starting is a thing im funny about. 
she had a new battery last year and the charging system checked,and a new starter motor fitted  ,
the photos are from today not 10 years ago, apart from the sunset one,
in the pics i left it unwashed on porpoise. zoom in on the pics for the rusty cool bits , 
its called pateena isnt it. she washes up real pretty, there is surface rust on the wings but i like it, a new wing is £8 hehe when she  needs one which she doesn't .
there is odd scapes n a tenbob sized ding drivers side rear top  if u look close, 
you dont really see it, if ur cool il tell u how i got it hehe.
righteous battle scars,not all heroes wear capes .. 
her economy  - Hull to scarbados and back on a tenner.
hull - glasgow and back £100 . thats  at 70 not 50mph. 
orig double din rds radio cassette, with removal tool, and code.. 
way street cooler than a vw, FORD first on race days. 2004 . 
she is  100 bhp t280   short wheel base , flat roof.
 
originaly i was going to get a midroof but they look pants,
in lulu  i can stand in the back with head bent a bit 
this shape is cooler looking imho,better on fuel and 
i only stand up to take my trousers off once a day . 
so why have a ugly truck you cant park ,for trousers  alone .
it will fit in any car park space  including underground etc
 ncp type car parks height barrier is normally  6ft 6 
we parked at regents park underground going to see sabbaths final gig
that wasn't ..they seem to be doing the end ,every year.
 ozzy u tosser we deserve better..
sorry ,but what if he and that sharon needs a van and he see it, he needs to know, 
 
stealth wise....its good because you can park anywhere,even where the campers cant.
the signs says no overnight sleeping in recreational vehicles, her log book says van...
details are important.
and in years of every week stealthing about  iv never had one problem.
 
confucius say if its got tits or wheels its a problem haha
 
all vehicles are problems , its the joy of motoring,
 but as long as the good out ways the bad etc is my logic,
 
she has failed her mot on welding..see pic of sheet...
and a power steering hose ...iv seen them at £35 to £50 ebay..
 
but all the stuff that you will have to do if you buy a transit , is done on lulu already.
she has had in last few thousand miles, 
diesel pump, yep the number one transit problem is done, brakes, tyres,battery,starter motor,shock absorbers,wheel bearing,chassis welding, new pressure cap, brake pipes,
i happy to tell you all and you can make a fair appraisal then
mechanically she is sound, m.ot bloke commented on her how mechanically sound she is and jus a bit of welding, drives lovely, never rushed, rallied or chaved.
in the flesh she looks cool, 
true story .. that bugatti mob copied my paintjob..
mine was this colour before their daft car..you cant even make a cuppa in the bugatti and try get some kip in one..
exciting bitz and inside.....its mid blue with a dark blue rear end. 
matt black wheels n roof.  oh  its not a stripe its a swoosh, 
its not black its dark blue to the rear. she has a towbar n electrics but ive never used it. 
if the clocks go off, tell her off ,touch  the wire and they come back on and she says sorry,
 all transits have dodgey clocks i think,
 
she has  good spare wheel, and a strap that a human can undoo. located rear end underneath out the way. no jack or brace with her though im afraid. i used my old lorry bottle jack as transit ones are flimsy so i chucked it.  it isnt just me ,i dont dig new stuff,  and really dont like chrome,
dont want to cyborg myself and go live on mars,some old stuff is still cool.  even if i had the money for a new van id still go for same again a mk6, you get it or you dont.  and trust, they are going to get trendy.
 
ive slept in her every week since owning her ,winter and summer, thats all she dos,
1 trip to shops and 1 trip to where ever i feel like going, she is real clean, neat and tidy not immaculate, city scrapes n scars and surface rust ,she has just decided to stop locking unlocking the side door from the remote, it worked yesterday , she knows...honest this van is my herbie..
it locks /unlocks fine from the inside. rear door locks and can be unlocked from inside,
she has  a crack in the windscreen n/s not a mot problem, i spent all my time inside at the back , from bed she is ace inside .. the pix dont make her look as cozy as she is.
,she is clean and no pets have been in here if that bothers you. tell a lie when we moved here our simes went in lulu ...i only  have a goldfish hehe.
 
she has front carpets and seat covers, head rest covers, head rest storage bags,fully carpeted inside 
best bed in any van on here nay the world ...a dunelm £200 full double topper mattress ...
vanlife ..tish..i sleep in mine, a lot,   the bed has priority , this bed is the billionaire ritz shit
in other builds  why they give a room to the toilet, but u have to build your bed every night, 
nooo i like to sleep in comfort, and this is the most comfy bed iv ever slept in. bar non
i sleep more than i poo ,so bed wins area allocation,it was expensive but its mahooosive 
you could sleep loads im not here to judge,
 or you and a real big fat lass and still have rollin room. i have 4 kids ,bought em a tent hehe  
way too nice to share with that lot..
 
when i was lookin at fitting stuff in originally ,i saw the bed will fit  side ways , as you see others do, iv tried it for a few nights, i was going to make a bigger kitchen and make a  log burner , but it isnt enough room once the pillows are in, im only 5ft 10 and i found it horrid, 
youd get no good sleep, youd all be sideways and back n neck hurting, 
they arnt going to put that in the advert , and if the kitchen is fixed into the van that way you cant change it, in this you can try both ways . bet you have it like i did. 
i see others ,your driving then when you've arrived its puzzle time,shift this, move that , the rubiks cube bed to make every night all is tooo much hassle for me,
 
the way lulu is set up ,is  to sleep like a 1000 babies, happy sleepy ones...
she has utra posh changeable led lighting, remote control, im not getting out in minus 5 to put lights on,
all can be done from bed.it has shelves at each bedside and little trays to put your stash,stuff ,
and small leds at the side of each bed, just things that make life easy,
the main house lights do loads of  colours n pulses etc ,
purple makes you feel ur in a tanning booth, the red attracts weird attention
 and the orange makes a sort of  vr yellow jaundice simulator, 
but they are there for ur pleasure, i use the white . the novelty wears of after a bit . 
 the leisure battery will last  months with jus these lights use. i dont have the leisure battery connected to the starter battery for reason i put earlier, start is most important. i charge the leisure one  at home and it lasts  months, you can couple something up cheap enough if you need this facility,or use jump leads.
she has a 240 mains to 12volt  inverter, connected to 
the leisure battery, the inverter has an on off switch, has a mains socket and other connectors, for tv,xbox,laptops,chargers and your electric stuff. and poles so you can easy connect stuff if you need it.
 
she has  kitchen cupboards,worktop , 2 small draws and 1 large upper and one lower .the gas bottle fits under and the stove go's in , see pix..
then i use the trays as doors,and to eat off, everything in a small space has to have more than one job,  the bricks are my hearth ,but good for the cooker and for leveling if you park somewhere unlevel.
organic too, i also use the bricks to bbq outside so as not to damage the ground etc.
 
posh 2  wicker baskets, 1 above battery area ,one mounted on wall, both can be removed easy, 
a camping  gaz double burner cooker, a is it 5kg the blue ones, gas bottle, a regulator n pipe  n clips for the same.  kettle.cups,
 battery powered bedroom lights. doorway light. i know il forget lots of little extras, you wont be unhappy.
i take stick for it ,but my eldest lad says the van is like uncle elroy's bedroom, from the friday films, 
its the pimp leopard  print everywhere hehe. i like it so wot...
i am throwing in the 2 matching bedding sets ,a winter quilt,and bum pad to match the roof and other leopard print bits.
 
there is 2 spare door mirror glass's , spare bulbs,a leopard print star for the ariel, fuses,survival blanket, a 12v humidifier. yes folks who hasn't got a humidifier in there van ? .....
a water barrel. storage boxes, full bottle of power steering fluid, for when you get your pipe, some mozzy repellent, fire extinguisher,
wood non fixed double bed frame,its not posh but it works it has a wood base , you can remove it if you want in 5mins. the mattress fits super snug no rolling around when your driving or sleep wrestling,
to access the storage area just lift the mattress up,   i used the area  underneath for stuff i dont use much, 
also a sleeping in vans top tip,
 if you lift the bed, even this much ,the cold drops lower than your bed into the well. 
so its warmer when its minus nights..and if you dont do minus nights you are not in my gang hehe.
 
she has cab curtains, and a centre curtain dividing the front and back, plus one across the backdoor.
and a sparematching curtain. all are black out curtains all round. the dear ones.  i paid £150 for these blackout curtains,  she has a  posh blue net curtain, i use in summer for the  side door ,so you can have the door open and not get midged or flys buggin you. 
oh  and one of those sunshield things for the windscreen .
 i see the videos of these new so called van life peeps on youtube, but i reckon they  must not actually do any extensive  sleep time  in the vehicles,no one mentions the first trips drips..the main prob sleeping in vans is ?  is  
 being dripped on,all night by condensation. i put a plastic lining sheet up, and a you guessed it 
a leopard print  roof lining,
 you can remove the roof cover for washing, i put it in the washer with a bag over the bungees,
 the roof cover when your in bed just makes it all cozy as.it is so bare without and wood roofs look cool but drip.  i drove a lorry 28 years to places you haven't heard of, cant spell or pronounce 
by now i have a  idea what you dont need,  and what is essential. 
most holiday people fill their  vans with stuff you never use,
and think you cant go untill you have everything 
stuff you will never use. at work we said, if you have more boxes, you just carry more crap.
jus do it .  do it , go adventure , go pro it ...show us all..
you dont need 5 million watts of solar to power all your gizmos, a fitted bathroom and club membership.
 be brave, adventures and fortune favour the brave, do they not. 
just roll and park where you like, be respectful of the nature and place where you stay and all is gud.
treat your head a bit and leave the iphone at home, have an adventure, dare to leave without the lifeline, things get way more interesting, and problems solving is the best way of moving forward,
ive tried to show you in photos what i hope will answer most inquiries. you can come see her before bidding , id prefer it. 
it is an mot failure but taxed till i stop it, which wont be till aug will it, i wont be giving advice as to trailering as its your biz how you get it home,
loads of spare parts n bits i will have forgot ..see pic...
 
oh yeah if your this music mad  hippy bird,bit crazy ,has own tamborine,probs fat arsed,likes leopard print,who digs this stuff, has a thing about long haired blokes,searched high n low,done your graft and got a welder ,we should talk haha..
 the whole ethos with this is the stealth low cost thing, posh kids and fake vans are clown shoes in  pre worn jeans
i had beetles and vws when they was the cheapest vehicle, this is the cheapest vehicle nowadays and like the  surf dudes ethos of old i have that not wanting to be part of the thing, the materialistic lot, conspicuous wealth fakers, snobs and zombie nerds, look they aint no zombies, 
they been cremating peeps for years , who is there to come up ? 
your cool i can tell or  you wouldnt be lookin at a lulu, best thing i ever did was buy a lulu.
if you dont buy her, please just buy one,your one , dont keep saying oh in a bit . 
 
i stay out in all weather , i enjoy the storms the best ,soon as its red alert storm warnings im packing my bag,  to be rocked to sleep by the wind n rain when your tucked up warm in her is ace. 
nights star gazing and nature watching , seen some sites ,nearly got hit by a meteor once, beat that.
fashion tips.for 2019 .and i was going to make a sun visor out of a old transit bonnet too. matt black peterbilt style ,she would look mad cool then, but now its up to you.. 
ask anything you like, better still come speak to me about her, she is nicer than you think, so am i, and if your in need of any bits n bobs just ask
 i dont do mobiles or txts but will answer anything sensible here.
 happy bidding and happy trails
 
if you win...a £100 paypal deposit will be required.
buy it now , i knocked off all the repair costs plus a bit of room incase etc, 
i see her at 2k so iv gave £800 for a £300 repair
 that via paypal or come pay me im easy .
 
in case your wondering , i am english, my user name relates to a film ..
happy bidding , happy trails . 
o.m.p.h

 

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Alan_Green Rank: Renault 16

Alan_Green

Posted
Posted

Talking of stealth camper vans, I can't believe not one "liked" that Renault Master stealth van I posted 3 pages back.  OK, I'm gonna give you one last chance:  https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/RENAULT-MASTER-DCI-CAMPER-ADVENTURE-HUNTING-FISHING-CUSTOM-VAN-VIDEO/264394017861?hash=item3d8f1c8c45:g:Q5UAAOSwwYldJjl3 

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Brodders Rank: Citroen Ami

Brodders

Posted
Posted

Surely this has to be a great price for a Granada Scorpio. 10 months MOT, huge leather armchairs and the perfect number plate for living on the outskirts of London, all for £700 (just don't look at the rear wheel arches).

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https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/ford-granada-scorpio-mk3-2-0-Automatic/352719413985?hash=item521fb722e1:g:w~QAAOSw5BVdFmVx

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cort16 Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

cort16

Posted
Posted

Looks like someone started to write wanker on the side and changed their mind half way through.

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And to top it all off

Quote

Recently however whilst loaned to a friend he holed the sump on a rough road and the engine slowly ran dry of oil. 

 

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/2001-Volkswagen-Passat-Sport-1-9tdi-Pd130-RAT-Look-DUB-Spares-Repair-AVF-6sp/123836554951?hash=item1cd53bdec7:g:HMsAAOSw9M9dI7gX

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