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Shitting in the shallow end. *Bile Hatred* pseudo collection.


Jim Bell

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We are now departing Peterbrough. 

Tourist facts.  

If you come to Peterbrough cathedral on the first Sunday after Micklemass with a clipboard and a scarf, the archdiocese is legally compelled to provide you with two wives of childbearing age. 

You must also bring with you a scarf and clipboard for EACH WIFE for the proceedings to be legally binding. 

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Kenny Lilette seen here with his new wives (Karen and Karen B.) after last year's ceremony. 

 

Peterbrough have a football team of sorts, which usually plays in one of the English football divisions. Never the same one twice.  

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  • Jim Bell changed the title to Shitting in the shallow end, And. It's. Liiiiiiiive!

Now passing March. 

March was built in March, on March and after a march. 

March is famous for its long thin ships which passers by will gesture to and wiggle their eyebrows. If someone does this, the local tradition is that you respond by saying "Hail the long thin boats, Hail the merry ways of March, Hail, Hail!"

Then you give a firm high 5. 

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March are to this day barred from fielding a proffesional football team after the great half time massacre of 1876. 

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6 minutes ago, Jim Bell said:

Now passing March. 

March was built in March, on March and after a march. 

March is famous for its long thin ships which passers by will gesture to and wiggle their eyebrows. If someone does this, the local tradition is that you respond by saying "Hail the long thin boats, Hail the merry ways of March, Hail, Hail!"

Then you give a firm high 5. 

792681799_thumbnail_SBMarchHighStreet2.thumb.jpg.1226242601488d053f48d41320a3972f.jpg

 

March are to this day barred from fielding a proffesional football team after the great half time massacre of 1876. 

Heard that entirely in the voice of the guy that did the intro to The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer.

 

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2 hours ago, Jim Bell said:

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Doncast achieved. 

Doncaster was invented by Rotherham, to make people in Rotherham feel less bad about where they live. One slogan dreamt up was "At least it's not fucking Doncaster" and during initial construction of Doncaster, signs were erected on the side of the A1 at J36 saying "If you lived here, you'd be home by now. But lets face it, you'd be even more fucking miserable"

Sadly, the whole project failed when on 26th November 1989, a "dome" was built on the outskirts of Doncaster. Nobody then, or now knows it's purpose. But Rotherham doesn't have one, so by any metric, it is measurably worse. 

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37 minutes ago, Jim Bell said:

Now passing March. 

March was built in March, on March and after a march. 

March is famous for its long thin ships which passers by will gesture to and wiggle their eyebrows. If someone does this, the local tradition is that you respond by saying "Hail the long thin boats, Hail the merry ways of March, Hail, Hail!"

Then you give a firm high 5. 

792681799_thumbnail_SBMarchHighStreet2.thumb.jpg.1226242601488d053f48d41320a3972f.jpg

 

March are to this day barred from fielding a proffesional football team after the great half time massacre of 1876. 

Note the clever camouflage of the local supply branch of underground French Résistance.

You must mumble "Facel Vega" and wink in a pre-agreed manner to be admitted inside for your monthly ration of nailsnailsnails.

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1 hour ago, Jim Bell said:

I may go dark for a while, as I'm nearing the destination. More update when I get to the car.  

If you are where I think you are there are  huge patches with little or no signal.

Update us when you get back to civilisation. 

And yes, I realise he can't read this because of the above.

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