Shitting in the shallow end. *Bile Hatred* pseudo collection.

[Jim Bell]

3 hours ago, SiC said:

I desperately wanted a t-sport or a fiesta zetec-s back when they were nearly new, not long after passing my driving test. Got neither but wished I did. 

Well what better time than now man?

Think this is the cheapest non-fucked with, non fucked one in all the internet. 

[Jim Bell]

Now OFFICIALLY for sale. 

 

Check link below

 

 

[Jim Bell]

Now available as a delicious roffle. See link above or saunter to the For Sale Sub Board. 

[Jim Bell]

Well the car I planned to replace the T Sport with sold before I could make my derisory offer, so the little Yaris stayed. Obviously I regularly almost buy something else on a whim but I'm glad I didn't sell it in the end now. It's the kind of car that you don't really think about until you get in it again and drive off. Then you think *oh yeah. This is really fun isn't it? I'd forgotten it was this fun*

Then you get out at the end of your journey and forget about it again (and jump on eBay looking at more expensive, worse cars). 

It's been ran to work and back, to the shops and back, up through the next county and back regularly and I'm getting a Ballance of about 40 real world Miles Per Gallon. Which is nice. It's a naturally aspirated 1.5 so its not gonna win any drag races (even against a 1.6 Ford StreetKa, I tried) but it digs it's toes in around corners and sticks like a sticky bogey flicked at a piece of velcro. 

 

On the way to work the other morning it did an EML.

 

Luckily I have my OBD2 box of Trix hooked up on the permanent so issue was quickly diagnosed, noted and ignored. 

 

 

 

 

Oh no! The Cat is past its best!

 

 

 

 

 

That's better. It's not come back on since and in previous Yari this code has been successfully ignored with Mots and emissions specifically being passed so it's not an urgent concern. 

Thought I'd check the live data just to make sure. 

 

 

 

Might want an 02 sensor as well. Eventually. DOS NOT AFFECT THE DRIVE though so again, I'm not rushing out for one. 

 

As it's been a generally great little fuckabout, rather than spend money on a cat, I decided to treat it to a bit of rubber. 

Not tyres though. And not even floor mats (this time, though I'm looking for some).

No, I came across (not literally) a VERY REAR OEM MK1 Yaris boot tray, which I couldn't resist. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fits up a treat. Now the shit boot carpet is protected from me looking at it. 

 

It's has its knocks, but it wears them well and it's a generally a great little nugget. 

Ongoing verdict: Keeping it for now. 

 

 

 

[loserone]

*buys completely inappropriate car*

[Jim Bell]

1 hour ago, loserone said:

*buys completely inappropriate car*

Attacks of this can happen at any time and there seems to be no effective treatment. 

[Jim Bell]

No collection thread I'm affraid as collection/delivery was put out for tender and the most competitive and friendly quote came back as Bucketeer/Mr Fluffy Balls Logistics Services. 

The car was a horrible (mostly) blue Skoda Fabia 1.2 three pot on the south coast. 

By SVM standards I think it was 'a way away' but not 'a long way away'. 700 miles ish, round trip. 

 

 

 

Mr FB was amused at the prospect. 

[Jim Bell]

God bless Bucketeer/Mr Fluffy Balls Logistics Services PLC who chased the black dog through the night and did the whole round trip with almost no notice. 

Word from the driver suggested "it looks horrible, but drives like a new car". 

Sounds good to me! Aim it north and engage warp drive. 

Is this the whole engine??

 

 

 

Smoll engine 4 smoll car. 

 

Quick sunbathe then set off. 

 

 

 

 

 

Setting off. 

 

[Jim Bell]

The collection/delivery team toiled through the night but due to a catnap, didn't have time for as much as a cup of tea or a piss at the turn around point. 

After 350 miles at the wheel, I took the right hand seat to get Bucketeer to the rail station. 

He's right. It drives like a new car!

 

Made it to the station in record time, before the sun came up but sadly 2 hours after bucketeers train left. 

 

 

[Jim Bell]

So what is it?

Well, it's a Blue Meanie. 

 

Or

 

 

 

^ Depending on how cool your childhood was. 

 

 

It's a Skoda Fabia 1.2 HTP. With 3 cylinders. 

 

The HTP stand for......................... No wait sit down. 

Ok it stands for HIGH TORQUE PERFORMANCE. 

I'm glad you sat down. I wouldn't want you falling over from shock. 

It has 64 hp. 

 

 

 

 

Not 164. Just 64. 

 

 

 

[Jim Bell]

It had (yes, HAD) the worst wheel trims. That's classic Skoda Fabia. 

 

 

 

With, or without?

 

 

 

[skattrd]

I'm wondering why you decided to keep this over the Yaris … I'm guessing this is cheaper to run/tax/insure.

[Jim Bell]

Now let's look at it in detail and at length. 

 

Magnificent coachline. 

 

 

Mirror on a mirror. Sexy. 

 

There is ONE grab handle. One.  For the passenger only. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And NO SUNROOF. BECAUSE SUNROOFS ARE LAME. 

 

 

 

 

Headroom motherfuckers. 

 

[Jim Bell]

7 minutes ago, skattrd said:

I'm wondering why you decided to keep this over the Yaris … I'm guessing this is cheaper to run/tax/insure.

Yea on all three, also far more mpgs. 

I would say the real reason is that the last car I bought/won is always the most exciting car.  This feeling won't last of course, but it keeps the world turning. If the Yaris didn't have a sunroof it would be a different tale. It's a sad bastard that ranks car on headroom rather than handling, but the shoe fits. 

[Jim Bell]

More photos? 

Oh ok. 

 

Laquer peels. 

 

 

Pez shot. (Traditional)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New car. 

 

 

Is that a record for number of blanks?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Jim Bell]

Free Redex!

 

 

 

[Jim Bell]

So what's it like?

 

Well, it's slow, it doesn't really handle and it looks horrible. 

All negatives aside, it's a hell of an appliance. It rides very well, is supremely comfortable, spacious and genuinely feels like it's a new car (to me anyway). 

It's quiet enough, though the 3 cylinder thrums it's lungs out when you encourage it on. 

It's (almost) as BASE as it gets. It has a stereo, PSYCHOTIC electric front windows and a heated rear screen. That's it. 

 

 

Negatives: one or both of the electronic window switches and/or regulators are haunted. Opening a window doesn't necessarily mean it'll close. Fiddling with the switches can make both windows dance up and down long after you let go of the switches, so that's something I can improve. 

I spent a day cleaning it, but it still needs more. 

 

 

 

slime and lichen!

[Jim Bell]

Massive positives are it just feels so tight, if uninspired. Came with pretty much full service history, stamped to 53k and receipts from there, and has pretty low miles!

If I was advising someone to buy a car to commute, this would be the car. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So what do you pay for an ugly low mileage commuter car with pretty much a FSH that feels like new?

Well I found 2p when I was cleaning it, so it cost £17.98. 

Thats reason enough to keep it for now. 

[Jim Bell]

Oh, and a million thanks for @dozeydustman and @Bucketeer for making it happen. I'm over the moon with it. 2 great great dudes. 

Home again. 

[GeordieInExile]

Not bASe enough for my liking, what with the fancy Dan trims and 'leccy windows. Sure the properly povvo spec ones had keep-fit windows all round.

[somewhatfoolish]

55 minutes ago, Jim Bell said:

 

With, or without?

 

Without, because lightweight and therefore fast.

[Jim Bell]

4 minutes ago, GeordieInExile said:

Sure the properly povvo spec ones had keep-fit windows all round.

I wish this one did have!

[GeordieInExile]

Less to go wrong, innit.

If you were so inclined you could probably convert them... at least the mirrors are manual, eh.

[AndyW201]

Good shiteing friend! Always liked Skodas of this era, I've even still got a long dormant one at the back of my driveway.

Early Fabia Classics definitely had keep fit windows all round., even my Octavia Classic on an 05 plate did!

Love the colour,  my Octavia Classic was the same shade, loved that car. But going from a 1.6  8v to a 1.8 20v turbo VRS took some adjusting...

Good call on frisbeeing the trimz o' shame, the bare steelies on these don't look too bad.

 

[Schaefft]

That interior is concentrated drabness, excellent purchase, especially for the price of a set of wiper blades. Replacing yours surely will double the value!

[Jim Bell]

24 minutes ago, AndyW201 said:

 

Good call on frisbeeing the trimz o' shame, the bare steelies on these don't look too bad.

 

I'm on the lookout for some bland OEM grey trims, but bare steels is certainly a strong 2nd place. 

[Jim Bell]

26 minutes ago, Schaefft said:

That interior is concentrated drabness, excellent purchase, especially for the price of a set of wiper blades. Replacing yours surely will double the value!

I think filling it with petrol increased the value by 500%. Then I bought some OEM rubber mats to knock it up to 600%. If I replaced the wiper blades it'd be pushing 700%

[DoctorRetro]

Cracking result. 

I had a 3 pot 1.2 Ibiza as a company car, same engine. I can attest to how woeful it is, power wise. 

Put it this way, my Kelisa only has 10 less horsepower, but probably weighs about half what the Fabia/Ibiza does. 

Make sure you get a good run up for motorway hills!

That having been said, they are willing little engines, and you can drive almost everywhere flat out. Take it easy though, and high 50s are achievable in mpgs. 

[paulplom]

12 hours ago, Jim Bell said:

The collection/delivery team toiled through the night but due to a catnap, didn't have time for as much as a cup of tea or a piss at the turn around point. 

After 350 miles at the wheel, I took the right hand seat to get Bucketeer to the rail station. 

He's right. It drives like a new car!

 

Made it to the station in record time, before the sun came up but sadly 2 hours after bucketeers train left. 

 

 

That's the exact spot I picked Northernmonkey up in the van a couple of weeks back. He commented he'd thought the van was being robbed but it was just me having a piss in a bucket in the back.

[LoftyvRS]

What you have there Jim is the Fabia with the optional factory "Plus Pack". This gave you electric front windows and remote locking (with a two button key none the less!). The electric window issues you have suffered will more than likely be caused by the drivers electric window motor. The circuit board on them suffer intermittent faults which affects both windows, it wont be the switches or the wiring, but will be the motor. Be careful buying used motors off eBay as there are about 6 different types, and the one you need will have a particular suffix on the part number.

When these were launched to the dealer network I joked to the bloke who was teaching us dealer chumps that HTP stood for "has three pistons" and got told to hold the wise cracks, typical motor trade faceless trainer bell end!