Cars that don't exist but should

[Ghosty]

The Heuliez concept 405 coupe/2 door saloon. 

[rml2345]

On the subject of Rover coupes, why didn't they build this?

 

[Zelandeth]

Can't believe we've not yet had the Rover 75 Coupe...

 

I'm sure it's been discussed at length elsewhere but for those that don't know, one bloke liked the idea so much he built one in his shed, and it just looks incredible;

 

That's bloody gorgeous that is...

[warren t claim]

BMW E30 two door estate without the gap toothed tailgate opening.

[Sir Snipes]

I don’t want some shitty crap aimed at men with small penises.

That would be a Capri then.

[Tamworthbay]

That would be a Capri then.

I didn’t know you had one

[paulscavalier]

A Peugeot 405 hatch would have been nice

[Kringle]

Saab, just more Saab. Not GM Saab. Swedish, quirky, inventive Saab.

[somewhatfoolish]

They could start with a neo-96 but with propulsion by electrickery; the shape must be pretty slippery already so not much work to be done. Might have to tone down the Dan Dare rear end on the 95 though.

[MorrisItalSLX]

Holdens designed and built in Australia. Actually, any car designed and built in Australia would be nice these days.

[DSdriver]

Family saloons with sub 1200cc engines.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Family saloons with sub 1200cc engines.

Apparentlly what we should want is something bigger and heavier than this

With an engine smaller than the one in this

 

 

I give you the 999cc Mondeo

[riek]

What options are there for normal car-derived pickups too? My late father lamented the discontinuation of the VW Caddy/Skoda Pickup/Felicia Fun (he had 2 of these) as the last 1/2 tonne pickups.

 

The Proton Jumbuck came along a couple of years later but since they were binned off in the UK in ~2005 (?) its just been the Hilux/Navarra/L200 pickups beloved of people with steriod problems and fuses measured in nanometres. Other stereotypes are available on demand.

 

Presumably there isn't a market for car-based pickups any more which is a shame. I loved the two Felicia Fun's he had when i was a teenager, they were great for transporting stuff around the smallholding we had and for moving tat around generally, and were an entirely viable family 4 seater with the truckman top fitted for poorer weather, though on the move without the top, you rarely got wet in the back seats unless you were stationary, the airflow blew most of it over the cab top.

 

You'd not get more than 6 bales of straw or whatever in the back of a Navarra crew cab, so the load bay is really no bigger than it was in the Felicia Fun with the back seats folded up. What weight are they rated to carry? A tonne presumably? (before snapping the chassis etc etc)

 

I saw a Fiat doblo based pickup this morning. Probably about as close as you'll get now

[Skut]

Sunbeam Asp.   Great looking little car that if the Imps reputation was anything to go by would have been fantastic fun.   Chrysler didn't like it because it was small and didn't guarantee their stupid insular execs enough fishing trips in retirement.  

 

 

[quicksilver]

Some great suggestions here. I've thought of a couple more.

 

Montego hatchback. It was designed and looked remarkably like a Talbot Alpine but never went into production. Why? BL never had a proper rival for the Sierra and Cavalier hatches, something they so desperately needed.

 

Citroen CX 3-door fastback coupe with the Maserati V6. To me the CX was always let down by only having 4-cylinder engines and the shape lends itself well to being a coupe. This could have replaced the SM and itself been succeeded by Zel's Activa V6 coupe. Come to think of it, a 5-door CX hatch would be good too - to be honest I actually thought they were hatchbacks until quite recently as they look like they should be.

[face]

ANOTHER PUMA

[sierraman]

Montego hatchback. It was designed and looked remarkably like a Talbot Alpine but never went into production. Why? BL never had a proper rival for the Sierra and Cavalier hatches, something they so desperately needed.

You are trying to make sense of the actions of a mad man there. They wouldn’t have made a hatchback in a Sierra size, that would have made far too much sense.

[Datsuncog]

Real shame that BMC/BL/A-R were so hatch-phobic for so long. The Pininfarina BMC 1800 could have been a real game-changer, had they not passed on it (and 'inspired' Citroen).

 

[sierraman]

It’d have looked like that on the drawing table but then a fortnight later when it was ready for production and it had been reengineered to use the doors from the Maxi and raised another 8 inches to fit a B series in then the production ready one would’ve been quite different. Chuck in a few strikes and you’ve the finished product.

[Jazoli]

I give you the 999cc Mondeo

image.jpeg

 

And the 999cc Octavia

 

 

Or even smaller the 898cc Dacia Logan

 

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Some great suggestions here. I've thought of a couple more.

 

Montego hatchback. It was designed and looked remarkably like a Talbot Alpine but never went into production. Why? BL never had a proper rival for the Sierra and Cavalier hatches, something they so desperately needed.

 

Citroen CX 3-door fastback coupe with the Maserati V6. To me the CX was always let down by only having 4-cylinder engines and the shape lends itself well to being a coupe. This could have replaced the SM and itself been succeeded by Zel's Activa V6 coupe. Come to think of it, a 5-door CX hatch would be good too - to be honest I actually thought they were hatchbacks until quite recently as they look like they should be.

http://www.citroenet.org.uk/prototypes/projet-l/projet-l.html

 

This shows A couple of sketches featuring hatchbacks and mentions using the SM V6 along with flat 4 and six water cooled engines and a trirotor Wankel, unfortunately Citroen was even more skint than BL at this point so had to carry the DS lump over.

Probably the right decision as V6 XMs hardly flew off the shelves.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

My personal " if onlys" can all be blamed on OPEC; the V8 ( FE Victor based) Viscount , one of which got as far as Earls Court but was canned before the show opened.

The V8 Granada , which the Springboks got, but Europe was denied.

The 440 Humber Imperial Dominator , which in my imagination was based on a LWB Chrysler 180.

The P76 coming to the UK badged as an Austin Westminster.

[andy18s]

Opel Manta A,B or C model but with a decent engine.....

[somewhatfoolish]

The 440 Humber Imperial Dominator , which in my imagination was based on a LWB Chrysler 180.

 

 

What a truly dreadful and at the same time marvellous car name; Rootes' marketing dept must have been on some good shit when they came up with that and thought it was the answer. Were any artist's impressions produced?

[tooSavvy]

.... Utes, was that?

 

 

 

So then... Is this UK legal? MOTable? Insurable?

[sierraman]

Possibly. So long as it’s welded up to a good standard. Chances are from the clapped out Boras knocking about it will be pigeon shit welding.

[tooSavvy]

Possibly. So long as it’s welded up to a good standard. Chances are from the clapped out Boras knocking about it will be pigeon shit welding.

..... Ah .. You havent actually watched the guy with his reciprocating saw/seamsealer AND popriveter....

[Asimo]

Imagine a mk1 Lotus Elise, but quite a lot bigger so I could get in and get comfortable.

Aluminium and plastic. Round headlights, gingercators.

A proper roof, no convertible nonsense.

Straight 6 engine, with gear drive to a parallel transmisssion (like most motorcycles).

About 250 hp would do. From about 3.5 litres.

 

And no extra "equipment" at all. No electric this or power that. Just plain, basic Lotus. And built by Toyota.

[somewhatfoolish]

..... Ah .. You havent actually watched the guy with his reciprocating saw/seamsealer AND popriveter....

Gooing it together with body adhesive is probably stronger than welding.

[sierraman]

No I haven’t. It would almost certainly fail the MOT, in an accident it would fold up like an accordion. The roof is structural so chopping it out and replacing it with some pop riveted tin and some Everbuild Frame Sealant isn’t good enough.