Re-light my fire, illumination is my only desire… - Ohdearme’s turn of the century emporium

[Ohdearme]

It must be middle age but I do find it a rather handsome thing, in its own way.

Wife refers to it as the hearse.

Oddly, as in what are the chances? I caught and passed another dark green Mk1 V70 on the M1, eliciting an impromptu and simultaneous faux-shock double take from both drivers as we drew alongside laughing like kids.

I imagine it also prompted a similar conversation for his wife in the other Volvo from as I received in mine including such assorted words as, ‘saddo, geek, weirdo husband, you and old cars, etc’

[Ohdearme]

Managed to deliver my kind of fix on the EML.

Stopped for more Pez and the 1,000 mile anniversary of ownership.

Car celebrated by knocking off the EML when I started it up on a full tank.

Just the inconsequential service light to knock off...

...until we meet again EML!

[scdan4]

Put the key in, press and hold trip reset, turn key to position 2, keep pressing until the service light flashes.

 

[Ohdearme]

53 minutes ago, scdan4 said:

Put the key in, press and hold trip reset, turn key to position 2, keep pressing until the service light flashes.

 

Knew there’d be a hardware reset. Was a case of turning the trip compy to the right in the Sharan.

[Ohdearme]

Yesterday  morning saw the collection of a new* car to replace the wife’s modern A1, she left me quite the set of search filters...

5 doors, badermatic, nippy*, bigger than an A1 but not by much and pez (pez was me as she does short trips and school runs mainly).

Everything I searched came back with the same chilling answer - Mk4 Vauxhall Astra.

Thank god then for @AlsoMike appearing on the horizon with a Mazda 323F 1.6 automatic GSi 5 door.

A total of £300 changed hands and adding in my train fare, parking and the fact Greggs was shut at 6:00 am and the quarter tank of fuel, the new car is now parked at home for a total of £317.70 all in ?

 

[bangernomics]

Assimilation complete.

[Ohdearme]

Features...the 2001 GSi model gets you,

Tilt and Slide sunroof!

For reasons known only to Mazda, the above requires a separate tilt and a slide button?

Gearbox with Sports inside, plus ‘Holds’ button. Disappointed it didn’t fire sidewinder missiles or such.

Feel like a giant with the world’s smallest fan switch.

Fold flat front seat for picnics, Christmas tree delivery or as absurdly large armrest.

Small disappoint the seat didn’t have cup holder recesses a la big brother 626, must be reserved for executive class* vehicles only.

Solace found in some delightfully engineered cup holder action.

 

[Ohdearme]

Sniffed around looking for jobs to do.

First in the list is the squeaky alternator on startup, also mike confessed he’d had a bash but not still needed a bit more tension.

This will need addressing before wife starts driving it, I’ve broken her shame of driving olds cars but she’s not as carefree/battle hardened as me to be able to shrug off the car squealing like a rape alarm every time it starts up.

Ive also splashed out on a new passenger wing mirror glass, at first I thought the motor was sticky/knackered but inspection reveals someone’s stuck a pound shop replacement over a broken original and it’s catching on the casing.

Theres not much else wrong, with it, I noticed a bit of vibration up around 70* on the way home but wifey won’t get it near that doing school runs so I’ll investigate when I’ve more time.

Volvo continues to work unquestioningly, it’s delivering a cement mixer back to the hire place today and the air con is still nice and cold after a regas.

Some twunt has managed to scuff the wing mirror on this too in the car park so I may have to crack out a rattle can and see about tidying up a few external scuffs.

It’s also got a bit of a clunk that’s developed on full right hand lock, have just had no time to get under and see what the cause is.

 

[Ohdearme]

eBay delivered the goods and unwrapping the mirror it seems to be the right size and shape compared to the woefully incongruous mirror someone had slapped on it as a repair*

Quite impressed with the ease of removal as the whole mirror I clipped out and nothing broke.

I hadn’t bargained on the thing being heated and so proceedings were paused while I tried to find a heated version online.

No luck so I decided to run the gauntlet of glass shards and separate the heating element from the original cracked mirror. Terrors!

Before I bothered wasting my time, the terminals were handily the right size for me to stick a 9v battery on and check the panel still got warm.

I tested again after peeling it off and with a squizz of superglue all round, stuck it on the new glass.

One final jazz of the mirror glass with the 9v indicated a spark so it was persuaded into the carrier.

Fitting to the car was only delayed by having to Stanley knife a thumb splodge of superglue off the bastard glass but fitting was completed and full electricalised motion and vision is restored!

Happy with my lot and a minor fettle won, I then noticed there are two missing  roof rail blanks on the drivers side.

Quite how I’ll find the part code for them on eBay is a wonder and the next challenge to whittle away my time.

Grrr

 

[Ohdearme]

It’s also a 1.8 not a 1.6 so I get the full 113 bhp not the 97.

Did think it felt quite sprightly for a 1.6 slush box.

[AlsoMike]

Thats good work on the mirror, i thought it was just broken! Didnt realise they were heated either.

I've found a remote control for the stereo for this if you want it? Deffo be fully gadget-ed up then!

[Ohdearme]

I’ll run the Mazda to work this morning before you do the school runs tomorrow. There’ll be nothing to worry about, straight forward shakedown I’m sure...

erm...

Hands up as my fault, I left the passenger door on the latch last night grabbing the docs to tax and insure it as the interior light has drained the battery.

Schoolboy error.

[Ohdearme]

Balls. So it’s not the battery.

can hear a relay click when you turn the ignition but nothing. 

No cranking, wallop starter motor with a hammer/solenoid or engine immobiliser? Hmm.

found a few things for attention under fuse box but they’re unrelated.

Ideas?

[Ohdearme]

Short spot of tinkering and it is the battery. Central locking didn’t even switch this time so...

Cuppa on the go waiting for a bit more juice to get in it.

[Ohdearme]

Room with a view, fortunately wifey hasn’t yet noticed  lol.

[Ohdearme]

Mazda now fully operational and what a joy it is to drive, lightning throttle from standing, a little chirp from the tyres is easily possible with little prodding of right foot.

Volvo celebrated by doing an oil wee on the drive though... ?

 

Buggerations

[Ohdearme]

On 8/29/2019 at 10:15 PM, AlsoMike said:

Thats good work on the mirror, i thought it was just broken! Didnt realise they were heated either.

I've found a remote control for the stereo for this if you want it? Deffo be fully gadget-ed up then!

I noticed the ir sensor for the stereo on the front today. I do think it’s hard to justify a remote when it’s right next to me.

No way I’m letting the kids have it either.

Do you need the temp parking pass that was in the glove box?

[AlsoMike]

26 minutes ago, Ohdearme said:

I noticed the ir sensor for the stereo on the front today. I do think it’s hard to justify a remote when it’s right next to me.

No way I’m letting the kids have it either.

Do you need the temp parking pass that was in the glove box?

Nah, no need for that, ta.

And yeah, having a second person controlling the stereo might not be a good idea.

Glad you got it working again!

[Ohdearme]

Sat in the office working a bit late and then remembered I should get home in daylight to sort the alternator for the missus to use it tomorrow.

Start up in the car park elicited a good 60 seconds of belt screech that I struggled to rev off and a gremlin on the dash.

I figured I didn’t have tools on me so opted to drive the 15 miles home sans radio and electricals and see if I made it.

Luckily I’d hit a sweet spot of timing to go home, any earlier and I’ve have probably conked out in queuing traffic, any later and I’d be needing headlights and ground to a halt too.

As it was, home was uneventfully, if a bit squeaky bummily, achieved and I left it to cool while I got a few bits for the job.

I was most disappoint to realise my gentle* persuader bar was not required as those clever little orientals had devised a screwy bolt thingy to adjust it.

First tighten wasn’t quite enough so I improvised a sophisticated deflectometer to measure the play in the belt down to a decent level.

Successes!

All levels checked for wifey and it should be good to go.

Attention now needs turning to the Volvo to track down the oil leak.

[Sir Snipes]

How did you manage to hold your tape, the bar and your phone all at the same time?

[Ohdearme]

19 minutes ago, Snipes said:

How did you manage to hold your tape, the bar and your phone all at the same time?

Tape was cunningly bent over and sat on top of brake fluid reservoir ?

In other news, nice to know your efforts are appreciated...

 

 

 

[Sir Snipes]

I have to wonder how a normal person (ie; not a shiter, and I'm assuming your wife is otherwise normal) deals with going from a nearly new Audi to an old Mazda 323.....?

[Ohdearme]

1 hour ago, Snipes said:

I have to wonder how a normal person (ie; not a shiter, and I'm assuming your wife is otherwise normal) deals with going from a nearly new Audi to an old Mazda 323.....?

Perhaps the surprising answer is very well indeed, the 323 appears to be the pinnacle of no nonsense get in and go driving. It's got enough tech to be comfortable but no so much it's confusing to a 'normal' driver.

Her only question on return from her first run was that "It wobbles a bit when stopped" -  I had a run out after this comment and deduced it was the thrum of a natural idle, the A1 was stop start tech so no shakes at stops.

Also, she hates technology so not being able to pair a phone, see her mpg or anything is of no consequence to her, she likes the fact there are only four dials to look at (and she'll never use the temperature one) and it's switches not stupid menus.

The transition to shitedom is also helped by the fact the A1 was a 7 speed DCT 1.6tdi or something and it was bloody awful.

There is little point having a swanky gearbox that changes up in 0.2 seconds or whatever when it fails at the most basic of requirements of any car, namely that when you press the accelerator, it responds by moving immediately.

It was not uncommon for the Audi to piss about for a good second or two after throttle mashing at standstill for the pedal to telegram the throttle and presumably shout at the gearbox via a cup and string arrangement that propulsion was being requested. It was hateful to get out of junctions as a result and in effect, you had to compensate by accelerating a good two seconds before you wanted to move, like a standing turbo lag.

 

Can't wait for it to be sent back.

[Ohdearme]

A brief update of sorts.

The mouse is back under the Mazda bonnet (Alternator belt) and really needs two new tyres so I’ve ordered a pair of Michelin Cross climates as they’re ridiculously cheap via Costco.

Missus has gone from ‘its alright’ to ‘I can’t believe how much I love a £300 car’. She’s not even letting the kids eat in it, a first!

Volvo has the bigger list but continues to run and provide smiles regardless, the engine note is very addictive.

Its dripping a bit of oil, the knob for the leccy mirrors has fallen off and the CD changer has eaten one of the kids CDs.

The V70 has proved adept at a surrogate van, I shifted around 500kg of building materials in it the other day with the sears flat, including the front seat.

It has also developed a clonk on full right lock, it’s a clunk rather than a cv joint related clicking so it may be going to the garage for someone to poke about under it.

And finally, after an extended hiatus of weeks. The EML popped by to say hello again - As long as it’s gone again by December for MOT, all will be well.

[Ohdearme]

Wife arrived home to tell me the Mazda had made some weird noise and just revved but gone anywhere pulling out of a junction.

Quick run out in it to the pez station to check for weirdness and the first thing I encountered was the rain and the reluctance of the front tyres to grip. Mrs ODM had for the first time in 6 years of driving (mainly moderns) just experienced wheel spin.

It does mean the button labelled ‘TCS Off’ is more of an information notice than an actual component though (until I fix it).

Fronts were well past it and as Costco do Michelin for silly money, I stuck a pair of Cross Climate on there for £130.

The MOT is looming in November so I took the opportunity while up on the ramps to sniff underneath.

Not too bad but I see a wire brush and some hammerite / rattle cans in my near future.

 

I also peeked at the shocks and springs, expecting at least an advisory on list misting in front left but again pleased that nothing too bad seen.

Garage commented the radial split on the old front may be due to tracking so depending on mot outcome, that will also be attended to.

[Noel Tidybeard]

if she had wheel spin i would say TCS is off

 

[Ohdearme]

Excitement abounds! A misty morning...time to check the heated mirror repair from a while ago.

Much success! 

 

[Ohdearme]

As the hire company forgot the gear this morning and I had the Volvo cleared out, seats dropped and a day off work to kill, I decided to help myself to all the fallen leaves on the street that the council seem to not bother collecting anymore.

Four bulk bags of leaves later and the street is clear and the Volvo was filthy.

Rear doors and boot open and judicious use of the leaf blower fixed that though.

it also unearthed a small collection of random crap that had found its way into the gap between the rear bumper and boot that everything seems to roll into.

Get digging Volvo lickers, I only found fuses but you might find gold!

Mazda is running smoothly, can’t feel a difference on the tyres except the old ones rotated to the front actually have some tread and therefore don’t spin as much.

Might give it a wash and wax this week, it’s quite getting under my skin, despite its appalling fuel economy (in part explained by much school run dawdling)

 

[Ohdearme]

Old dear’s birthday yesterday so in to the car we hopped and shot off to a family meal in the Mazda.

During dinner wife was professing her love for the wee little thing and how for £300 it was ace as ‘it just works’ as if that somehow would make bro and sis feel better for having their Q5 nicked off their drive two days ago, anyhow.

Meal completed, and the Mazda duly jinxed, we hopped back in the car and I noticed the battery light was on.

‘Oh it comes on all the time that’ said the wife, apparently oblivious to the fact red lights on a car dash might be bad and worth mentioning to me from time to time.

I get the feeling a new part may be needed for the alternator stop bolt thingy as it was tightened correctly but seems to have worked loose yet again. I’ve faffed about and got it ok for now (I hope) as I’m working away this week and wifey won’t be too chuffed if it dies on her.

Then today, driving over to @beko1987 for a vacuum cleaner related transaction, a bumpy backroad dislodged something and all manner of scrapy sounds were heard from the rear - On walking around I feared a detached bumper or exhaust to be pleasantly* surprised to find its only a plastic wheel arch liner that had dropped off and burnt itself through on the tyre in the 200 metres it took to shut the kids up and confirm there was something sounding decidedly not right.

And, now when you’ve been coasting and put your foot down, there’s a weird ‘schooch’ noise for a second before/as it reengages the box.

it reminds me a bit of a noise on my manual e36 diagnosed as a thrust bearing but this is an auto and I have no mechanical noise to know if there’s an auto equivalent or if it is something more terminal/trivial.

Still drives fine and in the £50 worth of petrol I’ve sparked collector stuff today, it’s managed 32mpg at around 70-75 ish.

Mot is due so it’s going in with instructions that if it passes to give it a damn good servicing (oil is black, can’t imagine atf is any better) as well as the 12 month stamp.

[beko1987]

Was great to meet you, hope the Dyson does you well!