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UltraWomble

Things in car adverts that make you go "Oh F*** Off"

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Weird one the other day, saw a car advertised as "only one previous keeper (2 in total including original owner)" written verbatim

Does transferring a personal reg on and off again increase the number of keepers?

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Cafe racer.

 

Chopping up the exhaust pipe up and wrapping it to hide the rust, then turning the handlebars upside down and bodging on a cheap Chinese seat with a layer of Halfords Maracas satin black does not instantly turn any old heapofshite into a cafe racer worth ten times it's value.

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What is a cafe racer?

 

post-5367-0-27271100-1538489962_thumb.jpg 

 

 

Something like this.....a classic frame (in this case a wideline Featherbed Norton, clip-on handlebars and "rear sets" (the foot controls and footrests moved back to allow a belly-on-tank riding position). 

 

So named because of the 1950s/60s British rockers penchant for "record-racing", i.e. slap a bit of Cliff or Gene Vincent on the cafe juke box and race to a given point and back before the disc ends.    

 

With little fuel money once such bikes had been built, much less money for going to pubs/taking out girls a jaunt to a local tea-stall or cafe at the highest possible velocity offered a good night out.  

 

Should not apply to cut-down scooters, MZ125s or Honda Benleys.   Or Harley-fucking-Davidsons.

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I CAN'T STAND ADVERTS THAT ARE WITTEN LIKE THIS WITH CAPITAL LETTERS AND NO FULL STOPS OR COMMAS OR ANYTHING TO IDENTIFY WHERE THE A SENRANCE STARTS AND ENDS IT LOOKS LIKE A PAGE FULL OF JUMBLED UP CAPITAL LETTERS AND THEREFORE MAKES THE ADVERT HARDER TO READ SELLERS THINK ADVERTS LIKE THESE ARE MORE NOTICEABLE SO BUYERS WILL TAKE NOTICE BUT IN REALITY IT MAKES THE ADVERT HARDER TO READ AND IS THEREFORE OFF PUTTING TO A POTENTIAL BUYER YES THERE ARE SENTENCES THAT ARE ANNOYING BUT TRY READING AN ADVERT LIKE THIS AND SEE IF YOU STILL FANCY BUYING THE CAR AFTER ALL THE EFFORT OF READING SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS FULLY VALETED FULL SERVICE HISTORY IN A GENEROUSLY COLOURED PAINTWORK THIS CAR COMES WITH EW AC TC ADDC, CROOKS AND GRANNIES AND ODD AND SODS PLEASE CALL SO I CAN SHOUT AT YOU DOWN THE PHONE PROBABLY THINKING THAT THIS IS A GREAT WAY TO SELL A FUCKING CAR

Do You Know What's Worse Than That?

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If the ad starts out as being overly aggressive it puts me off wanting to deal with the person.  I get it that ebay is full of cunts and it winds people up, but this attitude just makes me think sod that, scroll on by..

 

RELISTED DUE TO TIMEWASTING PRICK ANYONE WITH LESS THAN 10 FEEDBACK SEND ME CONTACT DETAILS FIRST OR I WILL CANCEL YOUR FUCKING BID - ARE WE CLEAR

 

Now the formal bit is out of the way, welcome to the auction for my...

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‘My wife doesn’t lke it’

 

Yeah, because obviously nobody checks first. And anyway, it means it’s fucked or they’ve usually got 17 other cars for sale. Or both.

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