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UltraWomble

Things in car adverts that make you go "Oh F*** Off"

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"Has needed nothing done to it in the last year we've had it"

 

means

 

"This WAS a tidy and well maintained example until we got our sticky hands on it. We have never washed, vacuumed or given it even the most basic regular checks. Having recognised it as a solid motor with some life left in it, we have ragged it mercilessly from one end of the country to the other, overloaded it and generally abused it in every way possible. When you view it, you'll find we don't know where the bonnet release is or what pressure the tyres should be at. Expect it to be dry of all fluids and to be comprehensively shagged. But the price may be even more than what we paid for it"

 

(Actually, this might* be true of all my chod. Buyer beware etc.)

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This is a gripe about online adverts, people who put in the price box (normally traders) £100, then in the description put all the details down, then write some bollox like £x000 or £100 a month if we can sort you out with credit.

 

Fucking misleading, as it tends to be on some prime shite cars, such as a Zafira or Wagon R. There are 7 adverts like this on the facebook marketplace and seen one on eBay this morning.

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RELIABLE HONDA ENGINE - hasn't had a cambelt for 15+ years, all the service items need changing, the ATF will never have been touched if auto, and it's probably not long off cooking its head gasket as these often only get sold when someone gives up driving and leaves it laid up for a year.

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Read a good one today for a 04 Streetwise. Basically he wants £300 on it but get ready for it... the head gasket is gone, it won’t run, the MOT expired 6 months ago and the tyres are fucked.

 

He goes on to mention he regularly scraps cars (wonder why) and he won’t accept any silly offers.

 

Just take the battery and cat off and get the fucker crushed. NOBODY wants it!

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Read a good one today for a 04 Streetwise. Basically he wants £300 on it but get ready for it... the head gasket is gone, it won’t run, the MOT expired 6 months ago and the tyres are fucked.

He goes on to mention he regularly scraps cars (wonder why) and he won’t accept any silly offers.

Just take the battery and cat off and get the fucker crushed. NOBODY wants it!

Will he take £250?

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I CAN'T STAND ADVERTS THAT ARE WITTEN LIKE THIS WITH CAPITAL LETTERS AND NO FULL STOPS OR COMMAS OR ANYTHING TO IDENTIFY WHERE A SENTENCE STARTS AND ENDS IT LOOKS LIKE A PAGE FULL OF JUMBLED UP CAPITAL LETTERS AND THEREFORE MAKES THE ADVERT HARDER TO READ SELLERS THINK ADVERTS LIKE THESE ARE MORE NOTICEABLE SO BUYERS WILL TAKE NOTICE BUT IN REALITY IT MAKES THE ADVERT HARDER TO READ AND IS THEREFORE OFF PUTTING TO POTENTIAL BUYERS YES THERE ARE SENTENCES THAT ARE ANNOYING BUT TRY READING AN ADVERT LIKE THIS AND SEE IF YOU STILL FANCY BUYING THE CAR AFTER ALL THE EFFORT OF READING SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS FULLY VALETED FULL SERVICE HISTORY IN A GENEROUSLY COLOURED PAINTWORK THIS CAR COMES WITH EW AC FSH ACDC NWA, CROOKS AND GRANNIES AND ODD AND SODS PLEASE CALL SO I CAN SHOUT AT YOU DOWN THE PHONE PROBABLY THINKING THAT THIS IS A GREAT WAY TO SELL A FUCKING CAR

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