Piss poor spannering skills

[Floatylight]

Proper in fits of laughter on this ere train, bad luck D- spares

 

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[They_all_do_that_sir]

Must admit, I normally knock it into "N" at traffic lights and hand brake on.

 

Always think that if I put in "P", then the driver behind gets a brief worry as the reversing lights flash on as you go through "R", and then back again.

In the merc there is a delay before the reverse lights illuminate for this very reason, passing through reverse doesn't light them up.

 

I'm now worried as I sit in P at lights. I can't understand why it's a bad thing if the gearbox is basically in neutral

 

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[SiC]

Must admit, I normally knock it into "N" at traffic lights and hand brake on.

 

Always think that if I put in "P", then the driver behind gets a brief worry as the reversing lights flash on as you go through "R", and then back again.

When putting autos in Park at the traffic lights, I sometimes pause when shifting through Reverse to see if the people behind are paying any attention.

[nisfan]

Fitting new discs on the stanza you have to unbolt them from the hub once you've pulled it from the bearing. The bolts were Philips screw heads and could I get the to budge? Could I fuck , chewed all the heads and at the point of going mental.

It's at this point I notice the bolts are also hex heads.. they came off no problem then.

[catsinthewelder]

I feel sorry for that poor C15 but still nearly wet myself giggling.

[Jim Bell]

Now this isn't exactly a spannering story but it does involve a shite van and some piss poor skills.

 

I needed to use my trailer. There was a C15 van on it. It wouldn't start. No bother, I'll just drive to the top of the yard where there is a slope and I'll roll it off and possibly bump start it.

 

Drove to the top of the slope. Stopped. It was apparent at this point that the C15 had no straps on it. Nor was it in gear. Handbrake not on either. I caught sight of it rolling off the trailer, shattering my trailer board and driving itself into the workshop door. Luckily the large RSG door frame caught the C15, slightly marking it in the process IMG_20181001_110906.jpg

Bearing in mind this was quite early in the morning and I was trying not to be noisy, I put a rope on the van and dragged it back to the top of the slope. Upon reaching the top, the towing eye broke off as it was rotten at the base. The van again tried to ram raid the workshop, resulting in this IMG_20181001_110912.jpg IMG_20181001_110938.jpg

 

It reminds me of that line in Snatch: "yes Tommy, proper fucked"

 

What happened the third time you pushed it up the hill?

[somewhatfoolish]

He fell and it ran over him, bonus points if it finally managed to twat its way through the doors of impregnability.

[mercrocker]

That C15 story is epic......Trying to do something without making a noise is usually a recipe for catastrophe but the whole story would make a fantastic silent short movie!

[D Spares & Tyres]

What happened the third time you pushed it up the hill?

Third time 'lucky'. Although generally i believe you make your own luck as the above story proves...

[warren t claim]

 

Here's a picture of a 17 year old me doing my first ever engine swap which I've posted before.

 

What I neglected to tell you earlier is that after taking the dead engine to the scrappy to swap for the replacement lump I totally forgot to remove the clutch. Yes, I had to go back to the scrapyard and buy my own clutch back for a tenner.

[Ohdearme]

Both Jags I've had say put it in N & use the handbrake, the Saab says leave it in D.

 

/2p worth

I like to move it to P, mainly to watch for the split second of terror from person behind as they see me scoot it through reverse before setting off.

[Mrcento]

I've only really got the one... Suzuki Ignis sport thermostat, anyone who has done one knows what a ballache of a job it is, It's not a case of just draining coolant and pulling off a pipe the 2 bolts somewhere at the upper front of the engine bay like a lot of FWD cars, it's tucked low down at the back of the engine bay in a whole cast aluminum casting that needs all the airbox, inlet, EGR system etc just to access. 

 

Long story short, was losing daylight and in my rust to get it together again, put the thermostat in backwards, only realised when i refilled with coolant and it dumped the lot instantly again because it had cracked the housing.

[JimH]

Erm, whoops?

 

 

Lessons learned:

 

1. Check everything is tight.

2. After a couple of hundred miles check everything again.

3. Don't ignore the clonking from the front nearside when driving over rough ground.

 

On the upside the massive pry bar fixed to the roofs of Green Goddesses comes in very useful at times like this. *red face*

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

 

Turns out as it's an Auto I'd put in in P but not put handbrake on so roof would not work.

 

2 hours to fix something that wasn't actually broken.

 

 

Just wondered if anyone else had had epic stupidity moments when it comes to their cars.

 

 

Had similar with a mate of a mates Porsche Boxster years back (I'd never been near one before). He was off in China working for some bank or other - Chinese wife going mental on the phone as car was broken....... it was only a few moths old....... 

I turned up after said mate in the middle had been at it for almost the whole weekend...... 

Got in - checked it over - cannot remember exactly what it was - but combination of handbrake, in Park and hood up but not secured or something........ I locked the hood handles, handbrake on and in Park - fired right up. 

Had to take it for a spin - just to make sure it wasn't 'an electrical fault' ......... 

[Captain Furious]

Another time I didn't exactly cover myself in glory, I had a Mk6 Escort which i'd bought cheap off my mum.  She'd had it since it was less than a year old and it was immaculate, it was now probably 9 or 10 years old and coming up on 100k miles.  It still drove perfectly though.  Until I managed to try and stuff it into 1st coming off a motorway sliproad at about 60mph.  It didn't even go in, the clutch exploded at the very prospect of it and I coasted to the end and managed to make it onto the grass verge.  Phone call to Dad who came out and towed me home - "I don't know what happened it just let go as I was coming off the motorway" - I replaced the clutch myself which revealed that 100% of the friction material had parted company with the driven plate.

 

Undeterred and with my now brand new clutch, I gave it a service.  Oil, filters, you know the drill.  Mindful of advice my father had bestowed upon me years before.  "Do not do the oil filter up too tight else you won't be able to get it undone again next time."  It would seem that I took this advice a bit too literally and did it up so limp wristedly that the following day on the way back from work, about two miles from the same junction I'd grenaded the clutch at a week earlier, I notice an odd smell which is getting stronger and stronger - an almost fruity burny sort of smell.  This is soon accompanied by copious smoke through the heater vents.  I dive onto the hard shoulder, shut it down and jump out, the smoke cloud was biblical.  I knew immediately what had happened, once the smoke had cleared and I was confident it wasn't going to catch fire, I popped the bonnet, luckily the oil filter hadn't completely parted company so I tightened it back up as tight as I could by hand, checked the dipstick - nothing.  Started the engine, the oil pressure light went out so I figured that was good enough.  I was NOT in the mood for another call to my Dad saying i'd broken it again.  So I Drove it home keeping the revs as low as possible and topped it back up - it was fine for many 000's of miles after that.

 

The following day confirmed that the oil trail tracked right back to my parking space at work, some 10 miles away.  Gradually getting thicker and thicker as the filter wound itself further off.

[shoddybanger]

The van again tried to ram raid the workshop [...]

 

Ooh... I'm dying!

 

Reminds me of the time I pushed a staple into my index finger and then, incredulously, proceeded to staple it again for good measure. Yes, it happens just like that and yes, it hurts just as much the second time over.