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outlaw118

The grumpy thread

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Land Rover really have lost the plot eh?They used to make utility workhorses for local authorities, farmers, dictators, and penniless African states (Ok the last two are the same), Now?Luxury motor cars. They will be the first up against the wall when the Revolution comes. Oh hang on a minute, there's a knock at the door. Wait. I think it's the Revolution Yup, it's the Revolution for sure. All Range Rovers, Discoveries, Freeloaders and their owners are to report to Brick wall number 53, The Brickworks, Bedford, for immediate disposal. Then perhaps Land Rover can get on with doing what they always did best. PLEASE!

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Maybe luxury, but who actually buys them. I reckon that 8% of all Range Rover Sports are sold to wank-stain professional footballers, with the remaining 92% going directly to caravan-dwelling, drive-tarmacing pikeys. Class my arse.

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There's two Range Rover Sports on our street, courtesy of some bloke who owns a scrapyard. He didn't have them until this year - make of that what you will.

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I saw a white Range Rover Sport towing what looked like a small '80s Sprite caravan behind it.Class! I wish I'd been sharp enough to take a photo of it.LR still make the Defender don't they? And it's still a shonkily hand-built incredibly expensive beast.

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Not that expensive for a LR Defender TBH. OK, once you add the dreaded it's not good, but I priced a fairly basic one for work and it was not alot more than a standard panel van, but OBV wouldn't have to be tugged out of fields on a regular basis. Plus they do hold their value quote well. However, even with modern engines, the LEGO aerodynamics mean it will still only do 25mpg, which rules it out really. Shame. And while we are on the subject.... aren't 'trade ins' a bastard.... fuquers offered me £1300 trade on my van against a a new Astravan. Hateful.

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Trade ins? This new Eco allowance really boils my piss. Young girl drives in yesterday, to pick up hear brand new Corsa eco. She's driven from Dorset to Doncaster, in a S plated Ford Ka. Black, PAS, EW, 4 new tyres, brand new exhaust, brand new bottom arms, loadsa meat on the pads...................can I buy it? No. It's scrap only! A perfectly serviceable little runaround, possibly I might have edged around 400 quid, but I'm only allowed to buy it for £1000 and only then if I am a licensed scrap dealer. Or something like that. Seems that the newness of all the components, and the ability to hop into it and do 250 miles at a stroke, mean nothing anymore. It's old, a bit scruffy, and she wanted to get into debt. End of life vehicle. Such a sodding waste!

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I'm pissed off that I've just bought a replacement wing for the Avenger, which will require modification to make it fit. It's not as if its shape is wrong, just that the flange that bolts onto the inner wing is 3 mm too low, resulting in the wing standing proud of the bonnet by the same amount. I had to do the same to the other one I bought for the car, too.The company supplying said part were unapologetic about the fact that despite the goods being "original parts" it'll take me probably a good 2-3 hours to make it fit properly, probably because they know they hold a relative monopoly in this sector of the market.

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:lol: I was on a trip darn sarf to put some wheels on my BMW so I could get someone to collect it so in no rush, sat behind this a lot of the way down the M1:

 

Posted Image

 

Can't beat a big engine in a small car, 1.9 TDI in my Polo, non of this 3 cylinder 1.4 rubbish.

 

Posted Image

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Here's my rant: :P Another thing that peeves me is “Serving Suggestionâ€Â. I have a salad cream bottle which has a photo of some salad cream on a tomato and some lettuce on the label. Why does it say “Serving Suggestionâ€Â? I know that’s not the only way you are allowed to use it and I know that the tomatoes and lettuce don’t come with it.

Ah, well you see apparently if they didn't scribble 'serving suggestion' on the packet, you can legally expect the company to supply everything else in the photo other than the product you just bought. In your case you'd be able to write to the salad cream guys and DEMAND a bit of manky lettuce and a tomato. My favourite is the cornflakes packet - how else do you eat cornflakes t'other than with a bowl?Oh, and in case you were wondering, this message was composed in a protective environment.
"TIME TROUSER", Sept 08:".....as comedy, worldwide, was quite simply stood upon it's head when it was noticed that the serving suggestions on food packaging tended to illustrate the most obvious method of serving the food contained therein........if I could walk that way, would I be buying an athletic support, I countered..........the Englishman, Irishman and Welshman's replies notwithstanding, I said...."

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So.....as that frozen foods lorry doesn't say 'serving suggestion' does that mean if I bought half a lb of frozen German peas I'd get that nubile bint with them?It'd be an interesting court case that one closely followed by the loss of my knackers and a divorce settlement but I'd be prepared to try.

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The norovirus.....been up all bloody night and I feel like you know what.

Tis the season to shit through the eye of a needle, fa - la - la - la - lah -la - la - la - lah....Bloody brilliant is SRSV - its also a notifiable illness, so expect a call from the HPA or EH if you sent a sample in to the doctors! Drink plenty of fluids and eat oranges (as they taste the same when bringing them back up again as they do when you eat them). We get far more of it now in this country thanks to milder winters - it only used to last a couple of weeks, now expect to see it untill March time, that Clostridium Difficile and Crypotospyridiosis.

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The way that when you watch a film on TV, the sound level seems to be set half as high as the bloody adverts, meaning each time it cuts to a break you are deafened by the advertizing.. :evil:

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Most cable and sky boxes have a feature where you can auto limit the volume and that includes adverts - I remember reading somewhere that adverts are not subject to the same volume limits as TV and Film programes - why that should be I do not know, but f'kin annoying it is. Also the practice of having adverts every 30 seconds or so on Sky rally pishes me off.

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Simple solution... don't watch telly. Or at any rate (as has already been discussed in the Tufty Club thread) don't watch ITV.And while we are ranting about telly... who the f*ck schedules programmes on saturday nights. There's nothing and I mean NOTHING on. Lowest-common-denominator game shows / celebrity prancing, Casually, umm, that's it. Bloody shocking. Maybe it's a government ploy to send us out binge-drinking. Bastards. At least last saturday there was a thing on the radio about Joe Strummer which kept me amused.

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I like Casualty, but only because I like to play guess the ailment and guess the treatment. Its also fun watching them "read" X-rays back to front, But Im sad like that, and in reality A&E is no where near as interesting, especially August Bank Holiday Mondays - the whole world and his bloody wife, kids and the dog decide that A&E is a fun place to visiot and wonder why they are kept waiting for 6 hours to have a splinter removed from their finger, when there are people actually dying round the majors side from MI's and busted aneurisms.

 

Got a bit excited thsi morning when I read this:

Free Fiorelli clutch

Then i opened the advert and it all went very wrong...

Beautiful Fiorelli silver clutch.

Brand new with tags.

Can send photo if required, got to be seen to be appreciated

Would make a lovely christmas present

Contact: Abby on 07

or e-mail [email protected]

Here is me thinking it was some exotic clutch for some old Fiat... There ought to be a law or summat....

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Simple solution... don't watch telly. Or at any rate (as has already been discussed in the Tufty Club thread) don't watch ITV.

 

I annoyed the father-in-law when we were watching the news some time ago, when the announcer said "London produces enough rubbish to fill an Olympic sized swimming pool 3 times each day" and I replied that it was nothing to ITV who managed to produce enough rubbish to fill a television channel 24 hours a day, 7 days a week...didn't know at the time he liked ITV...

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The only thing I like about ITV is the later numbered channels you get on Sky and Freeview and all that, ITV3 and 4 (I think). And that's only because they constantly repeat Duel, Tremors and Total Recall.I've got the full Sky+ package and I don't know why I bother to be honest, the rare occasion it gets turned on all I ever find to watch are old episodes of Cops and World's Wildest Police Videos, on channels so far down the rankings that they only get adverts for juicers and steam cleaners."It's steam?" (man smashes head into glass door and groans in agony) "It's clean!"

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I was mightily p*ss*d off today: been out for a cracking drive in my daily, met a belting old couple from Freecycle and enjoyed a fifteen mile-ish drive through some really good roads I used to go down on my motorcycle days. Past the places me and the missus used to go when courting, sun's out, some sort of ravey Davey shenanigans on the CD player and I'm well happy.Until I went to work in the retro, filled up at the petrol station, got some really nice comments from the lad behind the counter about my car, whipped up the motorway and some COMPLEAT N0BHED in a Bitsofshitty Animal Warrior SUPA CREWECAB decided he was going to come straight in front of me and take the turn off. I kid you not he did everything but ram me off the road, only some driving skillzors and luck saved me heading off the b8st*rd*ng carriageway. Much gesticulating in the general diirection but he wouldn't pull over. :evil::evil::evil::evil: times a million.

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COMPLEAT N0BHED in a Bitsofshitty Animal Warrior SUPA CREWECAB

A boner-fyde wanker chariot if ever there was one. Probably driven by a tattoed meathead as per. There's now a Raging Bull version - Mitzutoshi must be laughing all the way to the bank having cornered the semi literate grunting builder thug testosterone cretin market. I believe Mansfield is the biggest market in the UK for them.

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Cock-bleeding-on. Except I think the plastic scouse epi-centre of the world (aka Ellesmere Port) might actually be the biggest market in England.I expect the rear seats and covered loading are are normally full of skin headed 6 year old lads covered in Elizabeth Bastard Duke sovereign rings and 13 year old girls in 'trackies' c/w their own six kids in tow. All Bitsorubbishi need to do now is corner the 20" chrome wheel and pointless roof bar market and they can buck the recession with their cock extension twatting pick-ups.

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And while we are ranting about telly... who the f*ck schedules programmes on saturday nights. There's nothing and I mean NOTHING on. Lowest-common-denominator game shows / celebrity prancing, Casually, umm, that's it. Bloody shocking. Maybe it's a government ploy to send us out binge-drinking. Bastards. At least last saturday there was a thing on the radio about Joe Strummer which kept me amused.

Saturday night TV has always been pretty dreadful. Mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, as Mark Renton put it.I used to love watching Casualty and playing "spot the stiff" in between imagining how hard I would like to punch Charlie Fairhead in the face. I kind of gave up on it when they stopped having casualties who didn't work at the hospital.

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Saturday nights are for drinking hence the crud on the box. I have, unfortunately, spent more Saturday nights in this year than I would like to have had, and recently found the X Factor mildly amusing. Mostly I like laughing at Danni 'Plastic Bint' Minogue's face and endless sob stories from fat, talentless individuals who need your vote because they've 'had a hard life'. Aw diddums.

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Deep breath....Fuggin computer crashed on Saturday, had I backed it up - had I feck like. But the next person to tell me "Oh you should have backed it up, only takes a minute" is goimg to get the old hard drive rammed so far up their backside they'll be spitting bytes for weeks. Got the tossing thing fixed and home last night and it still won't work right. Modem doesn't know its there cos Microshite fuggin Windows doesn't sodding talk to that version of software. Rang my ISP for 'help' (and btw, why are you called Virgin net when you are very clearly well F*cked?) to be told after only AN HOUR on hold some kind of computerbolloxgobbledegook and that they will send me some new software that *might* fix it.Well thanks a fickin lot. Most helpful :evil: And as if i'm not p1ssed off enough about having lost loads of files and photos that I can't replace, I get to come to work.

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Probably driven by a tattoed meathead as per. There's now a Raging Bull version - Mitzutoshi must be laughing all the way to the bank having cornered the semi literate grunting builder thug testosterone cretin market.

Made me larf :D Don't Mitsubishi sell more pickups than cars nowadays?

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And as if i'm not p1ssed off enough about having lost loads of files and photos that I can't replace, I get to come to work.

You can get most of them back with http://www.z-a-recovery.com/register.htm. It's cheaper to download it at night and even cheaper at the weekend ($25 I think). You would need to plug your hard drive into another PC and there would have to be room on that PC for your stuff but it's fairly easy to do. You can run the demo version, which shows you what it's found but you can only access a very small sample. It doesn't matter if it's been formatted.

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