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outlaw118

The grumpy thread

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And all of the above is why I cannot be arsed to ever change my car again, unless I absolutely have to.  Quite a statement at 36 I know but I honestly don't care if I never had another car, I used to quite enjoy changing cars, looking through autotrader and whatever but a few years ago I had enough of lying pillocks, so 4 years ago to the day (oddly) I bought my current car and still like it.   This is also partly down to the fact I have less patience with these type of people than I used to.

*edit people in general

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3 hours ago, cobblers said:

Bought a nice packet of freshly baked donuts on the way to work. Put them on top of the microwave and made a coffee.

Halfway through the coffee I was texting someone, and wandered over to grab a donut, cramming half of it into my mouth in one go. Then I felt something crawling up my arm and actually looked down.

Hundreds of ants. All over the donut. In my mouth. On my face. aargh!

Ahh yes, they are sneaky and clever. A couple of years ago they got into the coffee machine at work and changed all the buttons to dispense ant soup.

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2 hours ago, wuvvum said:

To be fair, a Rover 75 is all the car you will ever need.

This I cannot deny however it's a car for my wife I'm looking and she doesn't share my enthusiasm for them 😕

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2 hours ago, auld_ALS said:

This I cannot deny however it's a car for my wife I'm looking and she doesn't share my enthusiasm for them 😕

It's ok, it's a typo. He meant Mercedes ML350.

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8 hours ago, cobblers said:

Bought a nice packet of freshly baked donuts on the way to work. Put them on top of the microwave and made a coffee.

Halfway through the coffee I was texting someone, and wandered over to grab a donut, cramming half of it into my mouth in one go. Then I felt something crawling up my arm and actually looked down.

Hundreds of ants. All over the donut. In my mouth. On my face. aargh!

That's up there with a Dave numbers contribution.

Did you not kick the donuts, and stamp on the ants?

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A sizeable box arrived from Germany. On opening it, I found one of those paper bags that takeaways sometimes give you to carry your meal away:

image.thumb.jpeg.a861c668bdb7e2a06bec183bceba2ff9.jpeg

What did it contain? This:

image.thumb.jpeg.b5252d139ae9f47233187cca75f9c5f4.jpeg

Errm....that's it!

Seems a bit of a waste of packing. Could they not have just stuck the thing in a small Jiffy bag?

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My last night in France, trying to negotiate my way into a tiny parking spot in a minute car park. Reversed in, literally 6 feet away from another hotel guest who didn't see fit to warn me of the hidden post behind me, as that would have required him to remove the joint from his scrawny gob. 

IMG_20190706_162403.jpg

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On 7/8/2019 at 8:47 PM, captain_70s said:

As an update, I organised to collect this from the DPD depot after work today. Only when I arrived it transpired it'd actually been loaded onto a van and was out for delivery again but the driver had reported it as undeliverable because it wouldn't scan out, because it was logged in as to be kept in the depot for collection... The guy at the desk did say he'd phone the driver and see if he'd deliver it anyway and just have me sign for it manually but given he was supposed to be back at the depot at 21:00 I doubt that is going to occur...

Looks like I'll be heading out to Cambuslang tomorrow. Again

Final update. Went to the depot today, the driver wouldn't deliver it yesterday because computer said no.

A Triumph Acclaim exhaust only comes in two sections, one of these is very long. Longer than the cabin. It is also awkward as both ends turn 90 degrees, but in different directions. I had to un-pack the exhaust and take out the rear seat squab in the pissing rain to feed it through from the boot. It's left great dirty marks all over the seats. This wouldn't have been an issue had DPD actually managed to deliver the fucking thing.

I've not even tried to fit it yet and it's already an utter pain in the arse.

 

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3 hours ago, TheDoctor said:

Another day, another burago 1:24 scale arrives damaged. 

Not the seller's fault this time I might add, but frustrating nonetheless.

I have exactly the same model with the exact same fault. I'm guessing the plastic degrades over time because mine got damaged when I put it down after dusting the shelf it was on.

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Not had the best evening ever tbh.  Got in from work about 9pm, went into the bathroom and the light switch broke.  So I need a new light switch, and the breakers on the fuse box aren't labelled so I have no idea which circuit the bathroom light is on - so I'm going to have to switch off the electric to the whole house to avoid zapping myself.  Then I broke one of the arms off my glasses, and whilst trying (unsuccessfully) to butcher a pair of Poundland sunglasses to borrow an arm off those, I stabbed myself in the thumb with a screwdriver.  I have (had) a spare pair of glasses somewhere, in a maroon case - do you think I can find the bastard things when I actually need them?

FFS.

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In a massive fit of not fucking concentrating my current girlfriend has managed to write off my volvo against my van while pulling away from parked behind it. She has her own policy on the volvo luckily. I've owned it for 10 years or so and I love it to bits. We've been all over the county caravaning with it as well as trips abroad. I'm gutted.
A mate with a body shop has quoted me £450 if I buy the door to repair it. I'm hoping the insurance company will let me buy it back though. Not bothered in the least about the van although I still want it fixed. 310204c4d507068752b257e5006fb28d.jpg28d3d61e47b6638e7dd6517f5bea03d7.jpg

Sent from my SM-G975F using Tapatalk

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5 minutes ago, paulplom said:

In a massive fit of not fucking concentrating my current girlfriend has managed to write off my volvo against my van while pulling away from parked behind it. She has her own policy on the volvo luckily. I've owned it for 10 years or so and I love it to bits. We've been all over the county caravaning with it as well as trips abroad. I'm gutted.
A mate with a body shop has quoted me £450 if I buy the door to repair it. I'm hoping the insurance company will let me buy it back though. Not bothered in the least about the van although I still want it fixed. 310204c4d507068752b257e5006fb28d.jpg28d3d61e47b6638e7dd6517f5bea03d7.jpg

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I told you to avoid wimmin for a while.  

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Neighbour came back from a ride on his bike yesterday evening, left it on the drive ,went in the house for 5 minutes, came out to see some cunt in a hi viz vest riding it away , I'm sure the hi viz is the new cloak of invisibility , surely a thief wouldn't make themselves look so noticeable, yes they would

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9 minutes ago, Wack said:

Neighbour came back from a ride on his bike yesterday evening, left it on the drive ,went in the house for 5 minutes, came out to see some cunt in a hi viz vest riding it away , I'm sure the hi viz is the new cloak of invisibility , surely a thief wouldn't make themselves look so noticeable, yes they would

Well there was the bloke who covered his face in lemon juice to make himself invisible to rob a bank a good few years ago, https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Dunning-Kruger_effect

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Bogus Official

I’m the man that you need on the day that it rains
I’m the wiser advisor on capital gains
I’m the lowlife pretending to look at your drains
I’m a bogus official
Don’t let me in

I’m the police, I’m the clergy, I’m Measures and Weights
I’m the chap doing the survey on alley gates
I need to know where you’ll be on the following dates
‘Cos I’m a bogus official
Nice dress

Courteous, friendly, jolly, and fat
With a smile saying, “Look, I know it’s under the mat
I don’t give a fuck about your missing cat”
B-O-G-U-S official

Name the band

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In a massive fit of not fucking concentrating my current girlfriend has managed to write off my volvo against my van while pulling away from parked behind it. She has her own policy on the volvo luckily. I've owned it for 10 years or so and I love it to bits. We've been all over the county caravaning with it as well as trips abroad. I'm gutted.
A mate with a body shop has quoted me £450 if I buy the door to repair it. I'm hoping the insurance company will let me buy it back though. Not bothered in the least about the van although I still want it fixed. 310204c4d507068752b257e5006fb28d.jpg28d3d61e47b6638e7dd6517f5bea03d7.jpg

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She made a job of it....

Sent from my Redmi 4 using Tapatalk

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One for the depression thread. 

 

 

I'm depressed beyond tablets, gone beyond pills

The cloud base is low on the clewidian Hills. 

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Went to see HMHB in Edinburgh last month with my Brothers.

Grump?  - My brother lent over and reminded me that the first time we saw HMHB was almost exactly 33 years ago to the day. FFS 33 years! I still remember that afternoon like it was yesterday - Not so much the evening...

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6 hours ago, paulplom said:

In a massive fit of not fucking concentrating my current girlfriend has managed to write off my volvo against my van while pulling away from parked behind it. She has her own policy on the volvo luckily. I've owned it for 10 years or so and I love it to bits. We've been all over the county caravaning with it as well as trips abroad. I'm gutted.
A mate with a body shop has quoted me £450 if I buy the door to repair it. I'm hoping the insurance company will let me buy it back though. Not bothered in the least about the van although I still want it fixed. 310204c4d507068752b257e5006fb28d.jpg28d3d61e47b6638e7dd6517f5bea03d7.jpg

Sent from my SM-G975F using Tapatalk
 

My (now)wife did exactly that 24 years ago with a renault Laguna, I'd only had it a month , she parked in an under the arches lock up through work, came back and somebody had parked a Luton van with it blocking 2ft of the exit

She went for it and the car looked exactly like yours , when I asked why she didn't go right she said I don't know the way home if I turn right 

I still married her because big tits trumped bad driving back then 

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