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outlaw118

The grumpy thread

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I reversed into a car driving behind me in a car park once.  100% my fault.  I got out of the car and walked around to talk to the driver, when the passenger door swung open and I got a mouthful of abuse from the driver's teenage daughter.  

 

The solution?  I shouted back: 'I'm not bloody talking to you, I'm talking to your mother.  Now shut up so we can have an adult conversation.'

 

The driver smiled at that.  We had a conversation and it was all absolutely fine...

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A BMW driving through a 20 zone.... Uprooted a tree at 7am and both driver and passenger died.

 

It's horrible that they've died and this makes me sound like an utter cunt, but I can see the headlines now.

"They wouldn't hurt a soul, he was a good lad. Etc"

 

The car has split into 2 ffs. It's a 20 zone because it's a school zone and there's joggers etc around there.

 

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/two-men-die-cavendish-road-2784513

If that's the damage a Beemer sustains at 20 I'd hate to have a proper accident in one!

 

 

Sent from my Redmi 4 using Tapatalk

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Just came across a gigantic queen wasp in the house. Thankfully it was pretty docile and easy enough to let outside. It must have been an inch and a half long....

 

Unfortunately as I'm definitely not allergic to the stings I'm the one who has to get rid of them.

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^^ There was a huge queen wasp hanging around the caravan most of the day yesterday looking for a nest site I assume. She was docile and easily chased off but kept coming back. I meant her no harm but didn't want a nest anywhere near. She buzzed off eventually to search elsewhere. Unfortunately she went looking round the static next to us and the guy sat out on the decking just belted her with a bottle and killed her.

I was sad. She was only looking for a home, no need to kill her.

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Sorry, I would have killed a Queen Wasp as well.

I go out of my way to usher bees outside, but allowing a QW to nest anywhere near me...

I think not.

 

Ants & wasps, bunch of bastards.

Dunno.... I tolerate wasps as never been stung unless deliberately trying to swat one. I gave up killing them as a sort of experiment and not been stung since. Mrs Beard hates wasps and they appear to know and sting her for no apparent reason.

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Wasps can do one. Bees I’m ok with, but wasps can feck right off. I tolerate them to an extent but once they start not taking the hint then I get grumpy with them.

 

Ever encountered a wood wasp? Fecking huge things with a stinger that’d put the shiters up even the hardiest of souls, but fortunately I believe they won’t sting. Mind you, if that’s the case then what’s the point of having a stinger that could double up for use in a piercing parlour.

 

post-27111-0-17610500-1556020919_thumb.jpeg

 

Not my thumb BTW!

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Ever encountered a wood wasp? Fecking huge things with a stinger that’d put the shiters up even the hardiest of souls, but fortunately I believe they won’t sting. Mind you, if that’s the case then what’s the point of having a stinger that could double up for use in a piercing parlour.

 

 

They look formidable, but the protrusion you're referring to is how the Giant Wood Wasp lays its eggs. And, you're right, they don't sting.

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Wasps are only a nuisance in the latter part of summer when the queen no longer requires food to be brought home. In the spring they're pretty tame and look for wood to build a nest with, flowers for food and horrid insects to paralyse to give to the Queen grubs to eat. The developing grubs produce a sweet liquid that the drone wasps feed on and get addicted. During the late summer, when the Queen grubs have pupated and developed into next year's queens (and the odd male for mating purposes), they miss this sweet goo and go foraging for anything sweet, because cold turkey.

 

When they eat rotting fruit, it is essentially fermenting and the sugars turning to alcohol, so not only are they scrabbling around like smackheads looking for a hit, they're getting pissed at the same time.

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Wasps are only a nuisance in the latter part of summer when the queen no longer requires food to be brought home. In the spring they're pretty tame and look for wood to build a nest with, flowers for food and horrid insects to paralyse to give to the Queen grubs to eat. The developing grubs produce a sweet liquid that the drone wasps feed on and get addicted. During the late summer, when the Queen grubs have pupated and developed into next year's queens (and the odd male for mating purposes), they miss this sweet goo and go foraging for anything sweet, because cold turkey.

 

When they eat rotting fruit, it is essentially fermenting and the sugars turning to alcohol, so not only are they scrabbling around like smackheads looking for a hit, they're getting pissed at the same time.

 

 

OK, nature is wonderful, but I don't want 10,000 of the fuckers nesting in my conservatory.

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A school mate of mine had a bright orange Talbot Horizon. In a fairly low speed head on around a blind bend one night it literally fell in half.

No one was hurt but the back seat passengers were left sitting, still strapped in like some sort of fairground ride.

 

Turned out to be a back street cut and shut of the old school pre Vic days.

 

Could have happened to them?

 

They were going fast enough to uproot a rather large tree.

 

I think at that point it doesn't matter whether it's a cut n shut or not.

 

 

 

 

Re: the comments about "he wouldn't hurt a fly, was a nice lad" etc. I still remember a story about a stolen 4x4 smashing head on into a bus at well above the speed limit and the mother genuinely said some pish like "He was a little angel and he wouldn't hurt a fly..." Aye, but he would steal a 4x4, drive it through a 30 zone at 70mph+ and smash head-on into a bus, though. Sod off.

 

Had a local one last year where a guy and his girlfriend were killed a few streets from me when they crashed the stolen motorbike they were on. Then the papers were full of the quotes like "kind soul" and "little angel" etc. etc.

They stole somebody's pride and joy then rode it like a total cunt then crashed it. What's so "kind" about that?

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We had one last year that repeatedly came back to scraps of ham and carefully bit pieces off to take back to the hive. It must have made about twenty trips. I am allergic to wasp stings but was fascinated to watch it. The only time I have been stung was when I took a drink from a beer bottle I hadn’t noticed was already populated by a wasp. My lip came up like Mick Jagger and I was delirious for a while.

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A cunting wasp stung me under my shirt whilst driving the Cowley and caravan down to West Wittering a couple of summers ago. Right above my heart....

They can help nature somewhere else for my money.

Same happened to me, driving home I had a sudden massive sharp pain in my side. I was still wondering wtf had happened when a fucking huge wasp crawled out from my shirt! Managed to smash the crap out of it all over the passenger seat with my lunch bag whilst simultaneously not crashing quite badly and came home and found the magic cream. Stung for hours after, then turned into a throbbinf sting then subsided

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Wasps serve no function other than to be angry about the world.

 

Got enough people to do that, don't need wasps on the case also.

 

We get a lot of paper wasps here, {Polistes Youlookinatmemate} which like to get up underneath things to build nests. A number of years back I piled the drawers from a chest of drawers outside on the porch so I could move everything out to let down some new flooring. That took maybe 2 hours, went to lift the drawers back in and one was underneath the damn thing and stung my little finger, right on the joint, right on the nerve.

 

I can tell when it's gonna rain, that joint hurts.

 

Yup. They can all go to hell as far as I'm concerned.

 

 

Phil

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Fuck! Looks like I have to finally conceed that I'm really shit at actually looking after cars. If the Vectra is now broken beyond repair I may aswell just sell/scrap everything else and buy a K11 (but also keep the KV6 running as well because despite being a car with a shit reputation, it has kept on trying to be alive whilst everything else tries to kill itself or is killed by my sheer and utter incompetence)

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