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outlaw118

The grumpy thread

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Haha you have obviously not seen our local bus company. It deserves its own thread on here.

 

Diamond buses, what a joke. As in genuinely funny. Some overheat, some catch fire, some just break down. The drivers occasionally get lost and ask passengers for directions.

And when the engines pack up they get them towed to a Barnsley scrapyard to have a new one fitted and towed back home, seen it a fair few times.

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Presenter: "So, let's now go over to Jon at the travel desk...!"

 

Jon: "Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....."

 

Excuse me!

 

Runcorn-Widnes bridge hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. 

 

hhhhhh Scotty Road. Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, The Rocket Interchange. 

 

Also: I dialled in once during a heated 'local debate' when someone uttered the priceless line: "Lhuk, Billee, dere's no 'me' in teeeeem."

 

Sally Traffic also called me a 'useless arsehole' over the talkback two weeks into the job (there was a police closure in place on a road in Alnwick which people were driving through, I advised to repeat the police information, and she went a bit Tonto). 

 

And Greg James took the piss out of one of my broadcasts (hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) and a colleague (who may or may not be nick on here) once landed a drone on my head while I was live on air. 

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Just been talking to my grandfather on the phone. He’s managed to crash his car in the drive. Typical older driver issue. Foot slipped off the brake onto the accelerator he says, reversing at speed in his bmw 3 series into the bins. He’s paying to get it repaired ( it’s a motability car). Some £1000 with the rear lens. He’s only just had it back a week after the last scrape hitting the brick gatepost at Christmas.

 

Now, I’m not a blood relation but he married my grandmother in 1975 and he’s the last remaining grandparent, but how do we suggest that he stop driving? He only does 1500miles a year and is 85 and on enough diamorphine to knock out an elephant. Or supply much of wrexham’s addicts. Although I suppose he could use the cash to fix the Bmw!

 

( not my choice by the way, I suggested a nice little Alfa mito thing, but his other grandchildren seemed to be more influential).

 

Just for clarity, he’s 85 and his motability allowance would more than pay for all taxis, it’s just his “independence “.

 

It might be time for that conversation.

 

My Grandad stopped driving when he was about 80.  He was more than capable of it but didn't want to end up getting into an accident and worrying about it.  Although my Dad told me that he was a terrible driver anyway and it wouldn't have made a jot of difference...

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Best vac I have has is Titan wet & Dry - got two of the mothers... will take anything chucked at them 

 

https://www.screwfix.com/p/titan-ttb350vac-1300w-16ltr-wet-dry-vacuum-cleaner-240v/36516

 

Might just get one to clean the car with.

My usual vac is a Mielé, a bit pricey but had it for years and the only problem I have with it is the floor tool - dismantled for cleaning and never correctly reassembled, must try harder :(

 

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richardmorris, on 18 Feb 2018 - 8:11 PM, said:

Just been talking to my grandfather on the phone. He’s managed to crash his car in the drive. Typical older driver issue. Foot slipped off the brake onto the accelerator he says, reversing at speed in his bmw 3 series into the bins. He’s paying to get it repaired ( it’s a motability car). Some £1000 with the rear lens. He’s only just had it back a week after the last scrape hitting the brick gatepost at Christmas.

 

Now, I’m not a blood relation but he married my grandmother in 1975 and he’s the last remaining grandparent, but how do we suggest that he stop driving? He only does 1500miles a year and is 85 and on enough diamorphine to knock out an elephant. Or supply much of wrexham’s addicts. Although I suppose he could use the cash to fix the Bmw!

 

( not my choice by the way, I suggested a nice little Alfa mito thing, but his other grandchildren seemed to be more influential).

 

Just for clarity, he’s 85 and his motability allowance would more than pay for all taxis, it’s just his “independence “.

 

It might be time for that conversation.

Agreed

 

If he's really worrying you and 2 accidents that both sound like they have the potential kill an unlucky pedestrian had they happened elsewhere I'd be worried.

 

Can't member if it was on here but someone's elderly relative had been doorstepped by the DVLA after a member of the public reported them after an incident , he failed the eyesight test and they revoked his licence with immediate effect so you do have that option

 

Personally I think it's a crazy situation where the elderly can just carry on driving with no checks on their eyesight at all simply by ticking a box on a form ,

 

my father in law went awol all day when he was 80 , he was supposed to be taking his car for a service , same garage he'd used for 50 years , got lost and ended up driving round Liverpool all day trying to find his way home , 20 miles in the wrong direction , that was his last ever drive , we disposed of the car that day

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Might just get one to clean the car with.

My usual vac is a Mielé, a bit pricey but had it for years and the only problem I have with it is the floor tool - dismantled for cleaning and never correctly reassembled, must try harder :(

 

If it's the head with the ratchet changeover pedal then they are a right old cunt to get back together! I avoid them now

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richardmorris, on 18 Feb 2018 - 8:11 PM, said:

Just been talking to my grandfather on the phone. He’s managed to crash his car in the drive. Typical older driver issue. Foot slipped off the brake onto the accelerator he says, reversing at speed in his bmw 3 series into the bins. He’s paying to get it repaired ( it’s a motability car). Some £1000 with the rear lens. He’s only just had it back a week after the last scrape hitting the brick gatepost at Christmas.

Now, I’m not a blood relation but he married my grandmother in 1975 and he’s the last remaining grandparent, but how do we suggest that he stop driving? He only does 1500miles a year and is 85 and on enough diamorphine to knock out an elephant. Or supply much of wrexham’s addicts. Although I suppose he could use the cash to fix the Bmw!

( not my choice by the way, I suggested a nice little Alfa mito thing, but his other grandchildren seemed to be more influential).

Just for clarity, he’s 85 and his motability allowance would more than pay for all taxis, it’s just his “independence “.

 

Agreed

If he's really worrying you and 2 accidents that both sound like they have the potential kill an unlucky pedestrian had they happened elsewhere I'd be worried.

Can't member if it was on here but someone's elderly relative had been doorstepped by the DVLA after a member of the public reported them after an incident , he failed the eyesight test and they revoked his licence with immediate effect so you do have that option

Personally I think it's a crazy situation where the elderly can just carry on driving with no checks on their eyesight at all simply by ticking a box on a form ,

my father in law went awol all day when he was 80 , he was supposed to be taking his car for a service , same garage he'd used for 50 years , got lost and ended up driving round Liverpool all day trying to find his way home , 20 miles in the wrong direction , that was his last ever drive , we disposed of the car that day

 

Well it’s more than two now. The last car had four repairs I think- Renault Megane. All low speed scrapes. I’ll speak to my parents and his son next time I’m up.

 

His eyes are fine, it’s the rest of him that’s falling apart-he’s so deaf he wouldn’t hear if he drove over a crate of cornflakes. He also had a speeding ticket last year ( I think I’m the only one he told )- 34 in a 30 he said. Took the fine as he said he couldn’t drive to the course.

 

 

He did have a licence review last year and had to send the dvla a list of all medication. We were secretly hoping/ expecting them to withdraw it to save any arguments.

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I had the pleasure of hearing a former Dyson designer telling me how for a matter of pennys they could have changed the design of a part so it would last pretty much forever. However, by strategically paring away material it would last until it was just out of warranty and 99% of owners would then replace their whole vacuum cleaner.

 

Suffice to say, I'll not buy a Dyson.

 

Don't ask me what the cunt was designing when I met him, I can report that the same principles were in use, but not quite as well judged

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Without going into too much detail, had my lawyers earlier regarding access to my baby girl, and my ex has put a proposal in via her lawyer to mine and all shes offering is 12 till 6 every Sunday 'supervised by paternal grandparents'

 

Before my ex stopped contact I was getting her a Sunday lunchtime all day on a stay over through to Monday lunchtime, and from 1 till about 7/8 on both a Tuesday and Thursday. Now it looks like itll need to go to court, and no idea how long thats going to take, and thus how long its going to be before I see my wee princess again.

 

Edit by Moog perhaps not best thing to say in public.

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Well it’s more than two now. The last car had four repairs I think- Renault Megane. All low speed scrapes. I’ll speak to my parents and his son next time I’m up.

His eyes are fine, it’s the rest of him that’s falling apart-he’s so deaf he wouldn’t hear if he drove over a crate of cornflakes. He also had a speeding ticket last year ( I think I’m the only one he told )- 34 in a 30 he said. Took the fine as he said he couldn’t drive to the course.

He did have a licence review last year and had to send the dvla a list of all medication. We were secretly hoping/ expecting them to withdraw it to save any arguments.

This happening is what would worry me , it's sad all round , what a way to end your life

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/11/07/relatives-fury-90-year-old-motorist-killed-two-women-spared/

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Presenter: "So, let's now go over to Jon at the travel desk...!"

 

Jon: "Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....."

Or local BBC station is more like...

 

RDS cuts in

*travel jingle

 

Presenter:... So I said to the woman that's the last time I buy pickle from this shop....

 

Unknown guest: oh, and did she seem annoyed by that?

 

Presenter: Well no, that's the annoying thing about it really, not only could she not tell me what the green bits were but she didn't seen in the least bit bothered...

 

Guest: tut. Unbelievable..

 

Presenter: I know isn't it shocking....

 

Both continue to waffle on for another minute about pickle Jars....

 

Presenter: Oh, we better do the travel. Richard, what's happening on the roads?

 

Travel guy: HI Good Morning, it's John actually..

 

Presenter: Oh, sorry about that John, what have you done with Richard?

 

Travel Guy: Well it's been me all morning...

 

Presenter: Has it? You sure?

 

Travel Guy: On the A14 that lorry fire is now clear......

 

Back with more in 20 minutes...

 

Presenter: so, Richard... Ever had green bits in a jar of pickle?

 

*car driver punches radio through the dashboard*

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Or local BBC station is more like...

 

RDS cuts in

*travel jingle

 

Presenter:... So I said to the woman that's the last time I buy pickle from this shop....

 

Unknown guest: oh, and did she seem annoyed by that?

 

Presenter: Well no, that's the annoying thing about it really, not only could she not tell me what the green bits were but she didn't seen in the least bit bothered...

 

Guest: tut. Unbelievable..

 

Presenter: I know isn't it shocking....

 

Both continue to waffle on for another minute about pickle Jars....

 

Presenter: Oh, we better do the travel. Richard, what's happening on the roads?

 

Travel guy: HI Good Morning, it's John actually..

 

Presenter: Oh, sorry about that John, what have you done with Richard?

 

Travel Guy: Well it's been me all morning...

 

Presenter: Has it? You sure?

 

Travel Guy: On the A14 that lorry fire is now clear......

 

Back with more in 20 minutes...

 

Presenter: so, Richard... Ever had green bits in a jar of pickle?

 

*car driver punches radio through the dashboard*

 

 

I have literally punched a few radios to death because of this. Don't the station get fined for hitting the wrong button at the wrong time?

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Got stuck behind a car which stalled on the way in to work, tricky to get around it. 

 

Some white modern fridge, it were.

 

Anyway, managed to get round it as there was a queue forming, but being chivalrous and seeing it was a lass on her own, pulled over into the bus lane (out of hours) and ran back to her car to help*. Young lass says 'it's run out of petrol'.

 

I suddenly become Mr Universe and advise her to slip the handbrake off and I'll push her into the bus lane, given she had seriously blocked the road (A610 Alfreton Rd, nr Forest Rd traffic lights). I then forgot (a) how much of a weed I am and sadly realised that ( b ) the road she'd stalled on was uphill.... the car went nowhere.

 

My grump - no other fucker stopped to help.

 

In the end I was able to get her to roll back downhill so turned into a traffic cop and stopped a bus (and a whole queue of traffic behind) to let her manoeuvre safely.

 

She asked me what to do. I advised her the sensible answer was to walk to the nearest petrol station, buy a jerry can and fill up. I asked if she was in the AA - she was. Recommended she ring them up and say she was a single female on her own and her car had stalled in a dangerous place. She thanked me for stopping and I went on my way.

 

I was thinking how rude and unhelpful other people can be, and was so occupied with my thoughts I may have skipped a red light. Typically, it is one with a camera.

 

FFS.

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And there's more.

 

Managed to prise the battery out from under the PTSD's passenger seat.

 

Hooked it up to the cheap 6AMp charger. Switched it on - charger sparked and failed to proceed (and yes the clips were on the right poles before you ask).

 

Fuckin' love karma.

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Private sector, right?  ;)

 

Yes. massive American conglomerate that in the 1990's was part of the aerospace division of the "darkness prince"

 

Yesterday that £178 bench (which is preventing the site signing off on all it's ergonomic risks by March) was subject of 30 mins of my life, when the Ops director, emailed me to find out if it was DONE. And I had to explain, that I had sent the "application form a requisition form" to the black hole that is "Requitions".  I was told that I need to chase it. I explained that as far as I could tell, this was typical of the system and why ordering of safety shoes by my colleague was taking 4 to 6 months.  The reaction was "Yes it's not a great system" in a kind of resigned way.

I have now found we have a "tracker" where every request is listed and each prod to get it to go faster that a Manufacturing Engineer has done is recorded.  There should not be a tracker.

 

In other news.

 

MIKER spent yesterday at the hospital, because strange problems with his ear and his face, and has to go back today for a CT scan. This makes my pointless problems pail into insignificance.

 

Then my wife rings up to tell me her friend has breast cancer.

 

I am off to work now and going home early.

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Setting up my new iMac using a current TimeMachine backup of my 10 year old one. I just know that despite following the instructions to a tee and everything, i’m going to fuck it up.

 

Also pissed off that there doesn’t seem to be any reasonable way to connect my two external drives (Firewire 800) to the new Mac (Thunderbolt 3) without resorting to USB ports. Suppose it’ll be new drives all round then.

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Setting up my new iMac using a current TimeMachine backup of my 10 year old one. I just know that despite following the instructions to a tee and everything, i’m going to fuck it up.

 

Also pissed off that there doesn’t seem to be any reasonable way to connect my two external drives (Firewire 800) to the new Mac (Thunderbolt 3) without resorting to USB ports. Suppose it’ll be new drives all round then.

You can get Apple dongles to convert the USB-C/TB3 to Firewire. If it's anything like the new MBP, you'll have to get used to having loads of adapter dongles. I refuse to have my work laptop upgraded from the old MBP with USB-A connectors to one with all USB-Cs. A couple of colleagues have them and need a whole ratsnest of cables hanging off their machine. Admittedly the type of job I do requires a lot of USB devices attached and possibly more than most users but still.

 

Last time I tried to restore my Time Machine backup, because OSX had screwed itself over (but Windows booted fine) it failed. Ended up having to rebuild the machine from scratch - including my Windows partition because stupid OSX doesn't allow a reinstall without deleting everything. Made me loose any trust in Time Machine safely storing my data.

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