Skizzer Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 ^ Thanks for that. Other pointless generalisations are available. Mrs_the_cat was nearly wiped out this afternoon by an overtaking BMW, just as she was turning into our driveway Fortunately she checked he mirrors before she committed to the turn, so was able to stop in time. Still a bit shaken though. If you listen you can hear how long she's indicating for, and I checked they were working once she got back! She'd just dropped me off at the garage to collect the Stellar post-MOT, so if she had been hit I'd have felt responsible. Not to mention the two lots of 'slow' signs in the road and the hazard lines the twat was ignoring. Nasty - would have been a hard smack too (though worse for the people in the BMW). fred, Honey Badger and mat_the_cat 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssDeeWon Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Skiz just reading your list of motors there mate, when are you going to do a raffle? The winner gets to come and sit in them all and pick one? Skizzer and andy18s 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakebullet Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 I'm feeling more fat fuck by the day, so decided to cut out the sugary treats. Went to tesco for the clearance fruit n veg I'm going to torture myself with instead. Came out with a fuck off sized raspberry trifle. 30p. I'll start tomorrow. Maybe. Conrad D. Conelrad, STUNO, AlabamaShrimp and 14 others 17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skattrd Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 I've got a winge about food as well.Yoghurt, ooh, fat free so it's healthy, like fuck is it. Look at the contents on it and most of them have around 15g of sugar in, even the so called "diet" type yoghurt. I don't care about fat free, it's made from milk, so it'd be low fat anyway, but how about low sugar for diabetic types. UltraWomble and michael1703 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtriple Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 I've been feeling 'rubbish' the last few days/week and my health is really starting to get me down - it's hard to be cheerful when you can barely stand to be in your own body! No amount of opiates is doing the job and walking is becoming a problem again. I'm obviously 'run down' ( or should be ) as I have acquired an abscess under my front tooth where a puppy head butted me. The tooth is a bit loose and my face is swollen from my lip up under my nose and having had these bloody things before, I know how painful they are. I can barely feel it! See, opiates DO work fred 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dugong Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 I reckon the seats would be sugary on the R16 if you licked them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fred Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Standing in a queue at the local 'offy. I had this sudden urge to shit.... Clenching my buttocks as hard as I could managed to buy my stuff, and minced out the shop Louie Spence style much to the amusement of some skool kidz standing outside. Got in the car, and brain started sending me ''URGENT'' messages along with my bowels which for some reason had gone into hyperdrive and my winkle was having great difficulty holding back the tirade.Got home, and minced out the car. Trouble is brain saw house, and sent message to poo workers - ''Home its ok guys open the valves'' NO ITS NOT FUCKING OK YET dropped shopping in porch, walked like fucking Robocop with piles as fast as I could to the latrine, and what followed can not be writtenassplosion is all I can say.... Fuck me sideways and call me petunia........Where and why the fuck that happened I know not Biggy Shackleton, alf892, Lord Sterling and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parky Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Jules Bianchi, formula 1 driver died this morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Sterling Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Standing in a queue at the local 'offy. I had this sudden urge to shit.... Clenching my buttocks as hard as I could managed to buy my stuff, and minced out the shop Louie Spence style much to the amusement of some skool kidz standing outside. Got in the car, and brain started sending me ''URGENT'' messages along with my bowels which for some reason had gone into hyperdrive and my winkle was having great difficulty holding back the tirade.Got home, and minced out the car. Trouble is brain saw house, and sent message to poo workers - ''Home its ok guys open the valves'' NO ITS NOT FUCKING OK YET dropped shopping in porch, walked like fucking Robocop with piles as fast as I could to the latrine, and what followed can not be writtenassplosion is all I can say.... Fuck me sideways and call me petunia........Where and why the fuck that happened I know notI can sympathise.... Last week I went to the local Job Centre (a familar place for me) before I left home though, I felt that my bowels were filling, but I didn't feel enough urge to want to go. So off I went to Job Centre, then as I parked up my bowels went into overdrive. I walked into the Job Centre and my bowels got worse, so much that it was painful, unfortunately my signing-on time was fast approaching, I couldn't use the toilets there, the nearest set of toilets were at Sainsburys store a minutes walk away, but time was too tight to even get there, so I spent the interview looking completely constipated, I'm pretty sure the bloody woman there deliberately took long on some aspects of the interview for shit and giggles. I finally got out of there and walked like a constipated man, slowly to Sainsburys as I got there. It felt as if everything I'd eaten that week had come out. Suffice to say due to new location of Lord_Sterling_Manor, I have changed Job Centres. Also, once when I met up with FPB7 and Du_Gong at a motorway services there was a point where I kept on disappearing to the toilet literally every 5 minutes. I later found out this down to the SORBITOL flavoured "Sugar Free" mints I was stuffing myself with. fred and purplebargeken 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timewaster Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Sorbitol is evil. Aspartame isn't much better. Sugar free and diet stuff can gtf. I used to like Dr. Pepper. I knew it was full of sugar so I didn't drink that much of it. Now it's "improved" with less sugar it taste like drain cleaner and molten plastic. And it gives me the squits.Great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angrydicky Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Fed up of being in Portugal now. Trying to order a white coffee or get a proper cup of tea is like asking for the world! Then tonight I ordered burger and chips......of course a burger and some crisps arrives (chips are a packet of crisps here) I want to get home and attend to my Rovers!!There's been a MK2 Astra estate parked outside your gaff all day as well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssDeeWon Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 There's been a MK2 Astra estate parked outside your gaff all day as well Haha Yes, that's the one from up Lascelles Gdns. Belongs to a bloke who lives in North Street! Angrydicky 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplebargeken Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 To the couple in their late 20's driving a Merc A class in Sainsbury's car park. A subtle hint...... don't fucking drive with a suit on a hanger on the grab handle belonging to the front passenger as it impedes your vision. Fuckwits. fred and Lacquer Peel 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moog Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Got 3 sea urchin spines lodged in my finger tip, fucking sore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bren Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Ford. Thanks a bunch for making the oil filter a PITA to access on the old focus TDCi. No wonder the garage couldn't be arsed changing it... mat_the_cat and hennabm 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robinmasters Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Forget the modern cartoon, there's a porn version with Bobbi Starr as Velma... Fucking Google. If I search for images of a porn actress, I do not want 'Moderate safe search on'. But you can't turn it off. Bastards. I realise I can add words to the search to return pictures of specific anatomical features (and I have), but I shouldn't have to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave21478 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Bing is the worst search engine ever, except for porn when it is amazing. Apparently. The Moog, myglaren and Cavcraft 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panhard65 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Ford. Thanks a bunch for making the oil filter a PITA to access on the old focus TDCi. No wonder the garage couldn't be arsed changing it...You want to try changing one on the latest Ford diesels with the Peugeot motor. You either use a special tool or take half the inlet manifold off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Station Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Did something similar when I was running a couple of years ago. Was going along and suddenly a massive urge to pee from nowhere, the urine was actually dripping from my todger. I had to whip my chappy out whilst running (it was late at night) with piss coming out and urgently veer into the cemetery and pee behind a bush. Thought I was incontinent but hasn't happened since. fred, dugong and CGSB 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D Spares & Tyres Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 I cooked some sausages that had some little white bits on that might have been worms/maggots Fairly sure I'm not ill, but I think the thought of being ill is making me illmore likely to be bits of brains anonymous user 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimothyClaypole Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Bought a car today. So that was 25 weeks without a car at all. Big up the AA and their ambulance chasers making me go through their sham of a claims process especially when it wasn't my fault. If your insurance goes up blame them. I'll be making a complaint that they wanted more money for the insurance changing despite 6 months of paying for a policy when they left me without a car, bastards. fred 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slappy Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Bit of an eye-roll-y grump this one really. Back in Kent to visit the 'rental units, had to negotiate Op Stack, which was fine, I was anticipating that and for getting stuck in bits of Kent. The bit that annoyed me was whilst trying to sneak through Bearsted (because local) there was a lot of on street parking and therefore single carriageway priority moments. I could see that there were a few cars struggling to get past, so I just hung back in a gap to allow on-coming stuff through. You can guess what happened, bloke in an E Klass swans past me (despite my brake lights on) and adds to the chaos. I then tried to move off, but too late because 2 more came shooting by, idiots! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bren Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Funnels. I have three of the things. Why does the top cut from a 2L fanta bottle do a better job? Answers on a postcard to "Why are my funnels shit?" PO Box 2 Warrington. tooSavvy, Tam, chaseracer and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slappy Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 I'm not a physicist by any means but I'm gonna say it's something to do with the ability for air to make it's way out, or the flow rate to let liquid through. The 2l top having a wider neck might let more through in that case. By that token, this means is that everyone should own a jam funnel... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Its raining. Thats the car boots off then! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tooSavvy Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Funnels.I have three of the things.Why does the top cut from a 2L fanta bottle do a better job?Answers on a postcard to "Why are my funnels shit?" PO Box 2 Warrington.I feed the 40,000 in my back yard (bird feeder) and got well fed up of pouring seed from the shop bag into a 4pint milk container, using SWMBO kitchen funnel - just jamming like a brick.Cut 2" off the top off a trigger spray 'multisurface cleaner' bottle - seed swirls around and just rattles in TS dugong and chaseracer 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
burraston2006 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 I feed the 40,000 in my back yard (bird feeder) and got well fed up of pouring seed from the shop bag into a 4pint milk container, using SWMBO kitchen funnel - just jamming like a brick.Cut 2" off the top off a trigger spray 'multisurface cleaner' bottle - seed swirls around and just rattles in TS Could you not use the sprayer? That way you would get the seed exactly where you want it ( including the hard to reach places). Mind you the linseed would probably still dribble over your fingers!This place ain't what it used to be ......................... vulgalour 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tayne Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 I'm not a physicist by any means but I'm gonna say it's something to do with the ability for air to make it's way out, or the flow rate to let liquid through. The 2l top having a wider neck might let more through in that case. By that token, this means is that everyone should own a jam funnel...You're half right, it's the gap/seal where the funnel meets the receiving receptacle which is the issue. Either hold the funnel a few mm above the neck of the receiving bottle to allow air to escape around the funnel OR fabricate your own funnelling device that doesn't form a seal onto the item you're filling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Cheggers, Semi-C, michael1703 and 18 others 21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moog Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Had a moment this morning, got stuck in traffic this morning and almost ran out of fuel. With 8 air tanks and dive gear in a 1.2 Skoda means fuel doesn't last long. Luckily pulled into petrol station. Except all auto on a Sunday. So 40 degree heat, no cash, no fuel and missus waiting at five site 10km with wallet. Tried to borrow some Euros off some locals who thought I had asked for their first born. Ended up ordering taxi to run me to missus and back. Always going to keep some cash in all cars from now on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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