Pillock Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 If you've got a spare five minutes, have some fun. The guy clearly doesn't know about cars, so email him back "I'm ever so sorry Mr Emma, I was out for a drive in it today and the spaniel lock has engaged on the rear differential. This means that the rotary drier doesn't work any more - I've had other people interested though so will you still be willing to pay the full asking price? I'd be happy to take the overpayment too, that sounds like a safe deal." For more giggles, send pictures of a car that clearly isn't the one in the advert, preferably accident damaged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autofive Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 how about" thanks for your offer Emma, but i have already accepted a cheque for 1 million US dollars from a Kenyan Prince" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 I AM SORRY MAH DEAH FREND. MAH ACCOWNT HAF DIED OFF DE BIRD FLEW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warren t claim Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Women with tattoos. I just don't get it. How the hell did they become fashionable? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trigger Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Nosh or no nosh Warren?. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warren t claim Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Tattoos or not, NO NOSH! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autofive Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Nosh or no nosh Warren?. "lydia oh lydia, the encyclopidia......." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 /\ Didn't Groucho sing a song about that in one of the Marx Brothers films? I think it was the one where he said to that bird 'I'll dance with you until the cows come home. But on second thoughts I'll dance with the cows until you come home'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trigger Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 I had to google that as i didn't have clue what A5 was on about, but your quite right Cavette. http://www.themadmusicarchive.com/song_ ... ongID=6442 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warren t claim Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 I've just gone out to my car to retrieve my second bottle of vodka for the evening and the spring that holds my boot open has broken. Arse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brammy777 Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 What a hectic few weeks. Apologies to all those who PM'd me in that time, I haven't had the time to come on here, and sort of forgot about it. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I am pretty much out of work and I have been making many trips to the job centre and sorting out JSA, which is a right pain. So many forms to fill out, and my last payslip was backdated to the middle of January, meaning it was way above what I had declared what I was earning, which got me a few sour comments at the job centre. And apparently I have to send them off yet again, despite me receiving a letter stating I had been approved for JSA now. It doesn't feel good getting this money, and I have been applying for every job I could do. Annoyingly, there is alot of people doing exactly the same as me, even getting a reply for the email I sent off is something nowadays. Tell you what though, some of the attitudes of people who go to the job centre make me fume, how someone who makes no effort whatsoever into looking for full time work can sit back and complain about not getting any dole money is beyond me. But enough of that ranting, it's good to be back. I see I have alot to catch up on...Don't worry, I won't drag up dead threads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M'coli Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Tempcover.com - someone came to look at the Saab, we agreed a price and then he needed to go on-line to organise day insurance to get it home. He inputs his details, the details of the car, then gets a screen where it says "We will not cover you if the car is worth less than £1500", so he's gone home to sort out his annual insurance and hopefully come back during the week, while I'm left with a Saab. Most frustrating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Can't you just say it is worth £1500? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boobydoo Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 That's Isobel Varley, "The Worlds Most Tattooed Senior Woman"...she lives in Stevenage and I've met her a few times, as she drives a brand new Merc. Nice lady. She travels all over the world to conventions and the like. Always wears long sleeves and gloves etc even in Summer and always whiffs of Savlon. Here's her website if you like looking at people getting their butt-holes and genitalia tattooed!! http://www.isobelvarley.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brammy777 Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Turns out that she got her first Tattoos in the same Dunstable parlour I did, although the bloke running it has aged a bit since then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negative Creep Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Can't you just say it is worth £1500? That's what I did when picking up the MR2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dollywobbler Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Confession - I actually like the 'council house barcode' tats that girls have on their lower backs, though I'd prefer it if it was Allegro or Princess in a nice script like the badges. And no, Mrs Wobbler hasn't got one. The Austin-Rover logo maybe - birthday pressie sorted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Leonard Hatred Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 What's the 'council house barcode' tattoo?I don't like tattoos, but I like Isobel Varley and how matter of fact she is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 The "tramp stamp"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dollywobbler Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 The "tramp stamp"? That's the one. Chinese scripty sort of stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Leonard Hatred Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Ghastly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheggers Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 What a hectic few weeks. Apologies to all those who PM'd me in that time, I haven't had the time to come on here, and sort of forgot about it. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I am pretty much out of work and I have been making many trips to the job centre and sorting out JSA, which is a right pain. So many forms to fill out, and my last payslip was backdated to the middle of January, meaning it was way above what I had declared what I was earning, which got me a few sour comments at the job centre. And apparently I have to send them off yet again, despite me receiving a letter stating I had been approved for JSA now. It doesn't feel good getting this money, and I have been applying for every job I could do. Annoyingly, there is alot of people doing exactly the same as me, even getting a reply for the email I sent off is something nowadays. Tell you what though, some of the attitudes of people who go to the job centre make me fume, how someone who makes no effort whatsoever into looking for full time work can sit back and complain about not getting any dole money is beyond me. But enough of that ranting, it's good to be back. I see I have alot to catch up on...Don't worry, I won't drag up dead threads. You have my sympathy Brammy...I had a spell out of work about 18 months ago and the whole JobCentre experience was hell on earth. I remember walking in for the first time and the mong behind the desk asked me what I wanted to claim - he seemed quite taken aback when I said I'd rather find a job and not have to claim anything - they really should call it a JobSeekers Allowance centre rather than a JobCentre. I had to go to the JS once every couple of weeks to prove I was still alive (they didn't seem to give a toss whether I was actually looking for work or not), and it was by far the most depressing, soul-destroying part of being unemployed. The only visit I truly enjoyed was the one when I got to tell them I'd found a job without their "help" and that I'd hopefully never have to see them again. When the mong found out how much I'd be earning in my new role, he looked at me like I'd just curled one out in his lunchbox. Stick with it, you'll get sorted soon enough!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negative Creep Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 What a hectic few weeks. Apologies to all those who PM'd me in that time, I haven't had the time to come on here, and sort of forgot about it. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I am pretty much out of work and I have been making many trips to the job centre and sorting out JSA, which is a right pain. So many forms to fill out, and my last payslip was backdated to the middle of January, meaning it was way above what I had declared what I was earning, which got me a few sour comments at the job centre. And apparently I have to send them off yet again, despite me receiving a letter stating I had been approved for JSA now. It doesn't feel good getting this money, and I have been applying for every job I could do. Annoyingly, there is alot of people doing exactly the same as me, even getting a reply for the email I sent off is something nowadays. Tell you what though, some of the attitudes of people who go to the job centre make me fume, how someone who makes no effort whatsoever into looking for full time work can sit back and complain about not getting any dole money is beyond me. But enough of that ranting, it's good to be back. I see I have alot to catch up on...Don't worry, I won't drag up dead threads. You have my sympathy Brammy...I had a spell out of work about 18 months ago and the whole JobCentre experience was hell on earth. I remember walking in for the first time and the mong behind the desk asked me what I wanted to claim - he seemed quite taken aback when I said I'd rather find a job and not have to claim anything - they really should call it a JobSeekers Allowance centre rather than a JobCentre. I had to go to the JS once every couple of weeks to prove I was still alive (they didn't seem to give a toss whether I was actually looking for work or not), and it was by far the most depressing, soul-destroying part of being unemployed. The only visit I truly enjoyed was the one when I got to tell them I'd found a job without their "help" and that I'd hopefully never have to see them again. When the mong found out how much I'd be earning in my new role, he looked at me like I'd just curled one out in his lunchbox. Stick with it, you'll get sorted soon enough!!! I'm in the same boat and it's horrible. They can't offer any advice at all - to be honest I'm completely lost with what to do for a career and how to use my qualifications but there's no one to talk to about it. Fell awful having to claim it but all you need to do is fill in the card stating what you are doing in looking for work, for which you could make up anything. I won't be too harsh on the people that work there however, just imagine the type of scumbags and abuse they must put up with Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dollywobbler Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 If there's anything I've learnt Mr Creep, it's that people who try to help you decide what to do just f*ck it all up for you. Which is why I ended up trying to do an engineering BTEC after school rather than something I was actually good at and had an interest in (like, English perhaps!). I've spoken to various careers folks over the years and it's often just left me even more confused about where I stand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M'coli Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Can't you just say it is worth £1500? That's what I did when picking up the MR2We didn't think of that at the time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddyramrod Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Tattoos on women? I'm firmly in the "DON'T DO IT!!!" camp. If it's any consolation, I apply the same standard to men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Don't be dissin tattoos, you INKIST BASTARDS Oh, and don't feel guilty about claiming dole either, especially if you've worked previously and paid taxes. Not everyone believes that all people out of work are benefit scroungers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashmicro Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 My friend asked me to make a DVD of her wedding tape. "No probs" quoth I. "What sort of tape is it?" I further enquired. "mini DV" she said. So she left the tape round. I then discovered that my camcorder is fucked, giving the "C32:11" error of death. So I borrowed a mate's cam, only to find out that the FireWire card in my monster PC is buggered as well. My cam was hardly used, and is 5 weeks out of warranty. Fucksticks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warren t claim Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 RIP Gary Moore. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Moore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fotorabia Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Don't be dissin tattoos, you INKIST BASTARDS Oh, and don't feel guilty about claiming dole either, especially if you've worked previously and paid taxes. Not everyone believes that all people out of work are benefit scroungers. Im heavily tattooed..its a Sth Pacific thang y'all...so any Anti Inkists forget about coming to NZ cos we re the heaviest tattooed country on the planet..and the cross over between European -Maori is a really interesting cultural phenomena..its brought the two cultures together..and Im also jobless at the mo..so im a right reject..but Im topping up the bank with my retro dealing..so i can survive..ive had the whole sleeve done since this was taken..and i still got 2nd prize for best Non Polynesian tribal at the Auckland Tatau TaMoko Tattoo Convention 2001 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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