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The grumpy thread


outlaw118

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Idiot sister bought a shonky van chopped into a horse box just before lockdown kicked in. So she stuck it on sorn and left it. Hey idiot, disconnect the battery or it'll go flat and be fucked.

Fast forwards to now. Thinking about retaxing it, so tried to start it and 100% deado. What a surprise. Can I go jump it with the disco? Suppose. It's a renault thing. I know nothing about them. Where's the battery? She pops bonnet and triumphantly points in an engine direction. Er, that's not a battery. There is a battery jump point, connected up and that's good enough to get the lights on but not turn it over.

Eventually find battery hidden in cab floor, and it reluctantly starts. Lets go look at her fine* horse while it runs a bit. Oh joy, just what I always wanted. Close the gate she says with a smirk. That would be 'cos the gate is shit, and forcing it shut you put your hand on the post which has a handy* electric fence wire in just the right place to zap the fuck out of me. She pisses herself as her cunning plan worked.

Still I'll have the last laugh as no doubt brakes are seized on.

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Debit card is fucked. Magnetic strip is worn out so ATM keeps saying card is faulty, and the chip for chip 'n pin is no longer readable by card readers. Even the contactless thing barely registers a signal. 

Into the distancing queue for the bank first thing in the morning.

I remember when cards used to last up to the expiry date.....

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22 hours ago, Angrydicky said:

As a follow up to this, over the course of the week as I was working outside, I noticed it was the same four chavmobiles (a Focus, Skyline, Fiesta and a Fiat 500 Abarth) that were making the majority of the noise.

The worst one by a long stretch was the Fiesta, a MK6 with blacked out windows, 'sick' lows, stickers, and a hugely loud popping and banging exhaust. The Abarth was the only other one that popped but it was nowhere near as bad as the Fiesta. The lad with the Fiesta seems to stop outside our house to drop off a girl who lives probably 3-4 houses along. Why he doesn't drop her off outside her own house is beyond me, maybe her dad has had a go at him about his car. I watched him as he then took off, flooring it through the gears then deliberately lifting off to make it bang, bang, bang, just as he went past her. 

Anyway he turns around in the cul-de-sac and came back up the road towards ours. By this point I'm standing at the end of the drive giving him a filthy look and shaking my head. He got stuck in traffic right opposite the driveway. He clocked me shaking my head at him and shouted (over the noise of his car) "Why are you shaking your head?" so I shouted back "It's your flaming exhaust mate, it's far too loud, what a racket!"

He just laughed and floored it away, popping and banging.

I wouldn't have normally said anything but I think this lad is taking the piss, the exhaust is so ridiculously loud, the bangs are like fireworks going off plus he's always trying to make it bang with his driving style. He didn't look like the typical chavvy thug, just a daft kid but I had to say something, since he wouldn't let it go. 

I did laugh to myself afterwards thinking what Victor Meldrew would have said in that situation. I'm only 29 but I despair of the yoof of today, I really do!

Stand outside in a white shirt and point a black hairdryer at them. Fuckers will put the brake pedal through the floor trying to slow down.

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9 hours ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

Debit card is fucked. Magnetic strip is worn out so ATM keeps saying card is faulty, and the chip for chip 'n pin is no longer readable by card readers. Even the contactless thing barely registers a signal. 

Into the distancing queue for the bank first thing in the morning.

I remember when cards used to last up to the expiry date.....

I think that having it in a pocket necxt to a phone wipes the magnetic bit ....the  microphone and speaker magnets are quite powerful .. And 5G...

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I'm starting to think that buying a low mileage example of a crap car is a bad idea. You get to deal with all the issues yourself rather than them getting fixed by one of the previous owners.

In my case, the Polonez seems to be speedrunning through all the typical faults. This weekend, after Iet my quite sizeable uncle had a sit down in the car, I discovered that the sponge making up the base of the driver's seat cracked in a spot where it stretches over a piece of the seat frame. ?

So now I have to remove the seat and take it to an upholstery shop to be fixed. It's not something I can just leave alone, because it's a car I want to use for longer trips and I don't fancy getting my arse creased for hours at a time. Annoying.

IMG_20200724_200141.jpg

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Two grumps;

Got on a bus tonight and asked the driver for two (Mrs was with me) to......

Driver said "Haven't you got an OAP pass?

FFS, Do I look that old ?

Secondly, we were the only two on this double decker and I have to wear a mask. Walk into pub, sit at table, kids, adults,etc,etc walking past me.  No mask needed FFS.

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19 hours ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

Debit card is fucked. Magnetic strip is worn out so ATM keeps saying card is faulty, and the chip for chip 'n pin is no longer readable by card readers. Even the contactless thing barely registers a signal. 

Into the distancing queue for the bank first thing in the morning.

I remember when cards used to last up to the expiry date.....

It's all the money you've spent at Garage Dubois-Loizou - the poor card is worn out.

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On 7/26/2020 at 12:47 PM, dave j said:

Had another look at some rust on the Kia sorento... I think the technical term is "its proper fucking fucked mate"

It's amazing how much it has deteriorated in about a year, I think its beyond my skills to fix so will be selling as spares or repair

TADT,S.

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LANDLORDS ARE CUNTS. 

So, my boss has gone on holiday.

The shop has dry rot in the floor and some structural joists, and the landlord is bitching at my boss to clear it out entirely, and at his own expense, so the landlord can undertake repairs. Boss won't oblige as landlord won't support the boss and his business if the shop has to be closed, he expects boss to foot all the bills. 

Boss has worked six days a week eight hours a day since Christmas, so has fucked off on his motorbike to his mate's place in Limoges for a well earned and now permissible break.
Boss left me to clear as much space as possible for landlord, but warned me not to help him with anything unless I was being paid for it. Did my best, but the fucking stairs into the cellar started to give way so I fucked off, having done my best with boss's blessing. 

Landlord comes in,  and he's constantly bitching about boss and his unwillingness to empty out the shop (his fucking livelihood) for the renovations. Landlord also keeps saying 'I suppose it's not [boss's building], so he doesn't give a shit' but despite registering this, can't work out that the shop is his responsibility, not his tenant's. Also he is just fucking obscenely flatulent. 
Immediately drags me into manual labour for no return, constantly swearing under his breath and grumbling about my boss, interferes with customers I'm talking to or listens in on conversations, then tries to tell me how to do my job, and has the fucking gall to call me workshy for telling people I can't help them as the only repairs I can do are those I can do on the pavement with basic tools, and anything more I've no choice but to turn away. Well I'm being paid for that, so fuck off. He treats my boss's possessions with no respect, expects me to help him with shit for free and seems to think that's why I'm there, and is constantly rude, demeaning, interfering, and generally an utter fucking cunt.  He's getting a delivery of timber from Selco tomorrow and was expecting me to help him with lugging it about, yeah fuck off. 

I told the parents about him and they told me not to go to work.

Boss and his family know what he's like and don't wish him on me, when the Mini failed its MOT today I told boss I couldn't get in with my cars both being u/s and his response was 'well it keeps you away from the landlord for a bit'. 
 

I'm not going back in until I can reliably use one of my own cars, and the landlord can shove it. 

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On 7/26/2020 at 10:24 AM, Angrydicky said:

As a follow up to this, over the course of the week as I was working outside, I noticed it was the same four chavmobiles (a Focus, Skyline, Fiesta and a Fiat 500 Abarth) that were making the majority of the noise.

The worst one by a long stretch was the Fiesta, a MK6 with blacked out windows, 'sick' lows, stickers, and a hugely loud popping and banging exhaust.

107365444_2496348300468664_4883598594241137768_n.thumb.jpg.ded727a276ea7d759f4833029b8087ae.jpg

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This might be a funny story to cross-post from my car thread...

 

Decided to try to do the oil change over my lunch break today (joys of working from home). It will only take 10-15 minutes I thought....

While moving the tumble dryer which has a fridge on top of it from in front of the airing cupboard in my hallway (because my flat is a stupid design!) I managed to topple a carton of long life milk off the top, which promptly hit the hallway carpet and exploded! 

I was actually quite calm, and set about soaking it up asap and then scrubbing / drying it. Once I'd done the best I could, I sprinkled uncooked rice over the area (Somehow I recall that soaks up moisture) - more on that later.

So I got into the airing cupboard and got my axle stands out.

IMG_20200728_115815.thumb.jpg.3e16c1e468dd0f90e4bbdb27f7a9a015.jpg

Oil change went quite well, jacked the car up under the centre crossmember, put axle stands under. Drained oil (engine was hot btw) and removed the filer - this tried to be awkward, but i had a secret weapon!

IMG_20200728_122643.thumb.jpg.edee6b990e8bc4dc004adfbda54e2815.jpg

Oil change done and refilling I noticed the car creak and move slightly. Then I saw this which promptly told me I'd jacked the car up by the engine, not a crossmember!

IMG_20200728_121818.thumb.jpg.2591108c7069cbd8905166a97b39e594.jpg

Got it all lowered down - also managing to dent both chassis rails with the jack - not a good sign! and started packing up.

Went to close the boot and the catch is broken!!!!!! Meaning the boot now doesn't close at all.

Left it in a temper and went in the house, washed my hands and promptly walked just socks on over the damp, milky, rice covered floor!

Then when I tried to hoover the rice up, the vacuum cleaner decided it would be funny to spit most of the rice out of the back, thus pebble-dashing my shins.

 

So now I have a car where the boot doesn't close, the engine may or may not be attached and my flat smells of sour milk. Winning. But at least the oil is clean. No I haven't fixed the HCV yet.

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@Smoll Floatylight and I are planning our first classic purchase or a car 35+ years old.

According to Lancaster apparently no chance of classic insurance for anyone to even be named on a policy under 25, as they wot have had experience of driving an old car, which is a ridiculous argument in itself, no one who learnt to drive post 2000 has probably driven a car like that..

Anyone got any more sensible suggestions for an insurance company who will put young drivers on a policy..

Sent from my SM-A505FN using Tapatalk

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1 hour ago, Floatylight said:

@Smoll Floatylight and I are planning our first classic purchase or a car 35+ years old.

According to Lancaster apparently no chance of classic insurance for anyone to even be named on a policy under 25, as they wot have had experience of driving an old car, which is a ridiculous argument in itself, no one who learnt to drive post 2000 has probably driven a car like that..

Anyone got any more sensible suggestions for an insurance company who will put young drivers on a policy..

Sent from my SM-A505FN using Tapatalk
 

hagerty maybe?

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8 hours ago, TheDoctor said:

This might be a funny story to cross-post from my car thread...

 

Decided to try to do the oil change over my lunch break today (joys of working from home). It will only take 10-15 minutes I thought....

While moving the tumble dryer which has a fridge on top of it from in front of the airing cupboard in my hallway (because my flat is a stupid design!) I managed to topple a carton of long life milk off the top, which promptly hit the hallway carpet and exploded! 

I was actually quite calm, and set about soaking it up asap and then scrubbing / drying it. Once I'd done the best I could, I sprinkled uncooked rice over the area (Somehow I recall that soaks up moisture) - more on that later.

So I got into the airing cupboard and got my axle stands out.

IMG_20200728_115815.thumb.jpg.3e16c1e468dd0f90e4bbdb27f7a9a015.jpg

Oil change went quite well, jacked the car up under the centre crossmember, put axle stands under. Drained oil (engine was hot btw) and removed the filer - this tried to be awkward, but i had a secret weapon!

IMG_20200728_122643.thumb.jpg.edee6b990e8bc4dc004adfbda54e2815.jpg

Oil change done and refilling I noticed the car creak and move slightly. Then I saw this which promptly told me I'd jacked the car up by the engine, not a crossmember!

IMG_20200728_121818.thumb.jpg.2591108c7069cbd8905166a97b39e594.jpg

Got it all lowered down - also managing to dent both chassis rails with the jack - not a good sign! and started packing up.

Went to close the boot and the catch is broken!!!!!! Meaning the boot now doesn't close at all.

Left it in a temper and went in the house, washed my hands and promptly walked just socks on over the damp, milky, rice covered floor!

Then when I tried to hoover the rice up, the vacuum cleaner decided it would be funny to spit most of the rice out of the back, thus pebble-dashing my shins.

 

So now I have a car where the boot doesn't close, the engine may or may not be attached and my flat smells of sour milk. Winning. But at least the oil is clean. No I haven't fixed the HCV yet.

The moral of this story? Don't keep your axle stands in the airing cupboard. They don't need to be warm, kids.

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8 hours ago, Floatylight said:

Just tried to get a policy in my name with wife and I only with direct line and they refused to quote....

Sent from my SM-A505FN using Tapatalk
 

Have you tried footman james? I've got the 31 year old mazda insured with myself and partner for £150 ish. 

Outside on the street with 7000 miles per year.

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18 hours ago, Floatylight said:

....According to Lancaster apparently no chance of classic insurance for anyone to even be named on a policy under 25, ....
 

Lancaster also won't offer a quote if you've had a claim in the last five years.

I went with Admiral in the end.

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It's both my kids's birthday tomorrow. Fifteen and eight respectively. The ex's dad, their grandad has just been and dropped their cards off. I haven't heard from that side of their family since Christmas. 

He's told me thier mother has been in hospital for the last few weeks and it looks like she'll won't be getting out unless it's in a box. Her liver has finally surrendered.  She'll be 41  on the 16th ofnext month if she lives that long.

I was with her twenty years and she put me and the kids through hell the last five years I was there.  We lost everything. A lovely big house, 3 car drive no less.  15 years of morgage and we got 10k each when I forced her to sell the house Everything I'd worked for was gone. 

She lost her 20 year nhs job, her dl, her kids and all her friends.

 

It's very strange but I'm not feeling any emotion at all. If anything, I couldn't give a flying fuck.

I should feel sorry on my kids behalf but when she couldn't be arsed to ring or even message since Christmas, I think they've given up as well. They have never mentioned her since then. 

When she did contact she was always pissed and incoherent anyway.

We've never been happier than what we are right now.  I've mentioned before. Material things matter not one fuck and certainly don't make you happy.

Tragic.

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1 minute ago, paulplom said:

It's both my kids's birthday tomorrow. Fifteen and eight respectively. The ex's dad, their grandad has just been and dropped their cards off. I haven't heard from that side of their family since Christmas. 

He's told me thier mother has been in hospital for the last few weeks and it looks like she'll won't be getting out unless it's in a box. Her liver has finally surrendered.  She'll be 41  on the 16th ofnext month if she lives that long.

I was with her twenty years and she put me and the kids through hell the last five years I was there. 

It's very strange but I'm not feeling any emotion at all. If anything, I couldn't give a flying fuck.

I should feel sorry on my kids behalf but when she couldn't be arsed to ring or even message since Christmas, I think they've given up as well. They have never mentioned her since then. 

When she did contact she was always pissed and incoherent anyway.

Tragic.

One of our cats came from a woman at work who became an alcoholic, in a year she went from a loving mother with a house and career, to full blown alcoholic living in a shit hole with another alcoholic, her kids were in care and we had her cat after neighbours got fed up of feeding it. It was sad to see someone go downhill so far and so fast. Last I heard she was getting help but that was a few years ago now.

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