The grumpy thread

[C1am]

Unwittingly sat for 45 minutes in a queue for a McDonald's, until 50 metres before the entrance where they had placed a postage stamp sized sign reading McDonald's left hand lane, through traffic right hand lane. 

[Pieman]

If people's biggest priority in life right now is eating a McDonald's or going to Ikea, they can be redirected to the nearest large body of water and have their fucking empty heads held under it for half an hour.

There will probably be a much larger general rant from me tomorrow for many reasons.

[Spiny Norman]

They re-opened Starbucks in our retail park a couple of weeks back and I counted 40 cars in the queue before I gave up.
For a £3 paper cup of vile 'coffee'... ?

[Zelandeth]

I am seriously getting majorly fscked off with not being able to have the windows on the rear of our house open for 90% of the day or night without the house reeking of weed.

Really, really wish the owners of No 26 across the back fence hadn't decided to move out and rent the house out...The tenants have been a bloody nightmare since the day the moved in.  The five kids (it's a postage stamp sized two bed house) who spend the whole time murdering each other with dull spoons if the noise is anything to go by and the barking tea cosy do nothing to endear themselves to me either.   Not sure if they've just started smoking weed, or if they're just doing it in the house now rather then sneaking off to one of the underpasses for it...but it's been inescapable for at least the last couple of weeks.

Really would like to move back to the country now please.

[robinmasters]

2 hours ago, Wack said:

Corgi " Oi you cunts stop blocking the fucking road , daily exercise my arse"

 

Very much of this.  They're everywhere at the moment, with their fat, middle aged (I am one of those, but don't impose it upon others) pasty fucking horribleness sticking out between the inappropriate lycra.  

I had written a long angry rant about this, but have thought better of it (but have included some rantage later on).  Succinctly, the issue is this: if you're out on your bike to exercise, use a road where you're not inconveniencing others. If you're cycling to work at 8am on a Monday, in an anorak, because that's the quickest way to work, with a queue of traffic behind you, fine.  If you're wearing a full tour de France get up at 3pm on a Sunday on the same road with a big queue behind you, you're a cunt.  

Best local example of this:

NSL road just round the corner from me.  Double white lines, so you can't overtake.  Lycra dickheads cycle on the road.  Monday morning anorak man?  He uses the FUCKING CYCLE LANE RIGHT NEXT TO THE ROAD.  

[paulplom]

I agree with this. Fine if you're using your bike to commute but when your hobby infringes on my or other peoples day then it's a problem. The government has spent millions on cycle paths etc., why not fucking use them.

See also horses and riders.

Also what's the deal with using the lightest most expensive bike to do a hundred miles on? Sure 50 miles on a raleigh grifter would give you just as much exercise, if not more.

 

Edit: I'm a hobby cyclist but manage to keep off the roads. It's easy if you follow the signs.

[rainagain]

I used to have to drive along this road everyday, it largely consist of narrow winding turns with zero visibility like this (note cycle lane to left):

The council spent a fortune putting in a separate cycle lane, as you can see class A arseholes like this guy holding the bus up refused to use it, (this straight section is at the very end of it):

I'm also a hobby cyclist but I manage to enjoy myself without holding up people trying to go around their day to day business, in fact I can't think of any other hobby that interferes with others more than Lycra cycling?

[New POD]

I think we are all agreed.  I like a cycle ride, although my bike is in another county at present.  

If there are cycle paths use them. Choose routes that have cycle paths or have less traffic even if it's a bit further.  

[paulplom]

I don't feel safe on the roads on my bike anyway. I overtook a cyclist on the A19 heading away from the Tyne Tunnel last week. I googled it and apparently cycling on a dual carriageway isn't illegal believe it or not.

Madness.

[cobblers]

Last night I was going to treat myself to a KFC for tea - the local one has reopened without any advertising, so it's not busy. I got there to find the Macdonalds next-door also opened yesterday, so there were queues of about 100 cars to even get onto the retail park. Fuck that, there's absolutely nothing I'll queue that long for. 

So I decided to get some fish and chips from a pizza/kebab/fish and chips place that I don't usually use.

The fact that all the staff were having an absolute blazing row in turkish should have been a warning.

When the guy shaving the elephants leg dropped a bit of meat on the floor and his first instinct was to look round and see if anyone had noticed, that should have been my second warning.

But I was really, quite hungry and a eager to make excuses for people.

 

And now I'm paying for my poor decisions.

[Wack]

The problem with the lycra brigade is the speed , they're doing 20-25mph so getting past them without speeding in a short space is nigh on impossible , I had one catch me up going down a hill , pedaling like fuck he was 

[DoctorRetro]

7 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

I am seriously getting majorly fscked off with not being able to have the windows on the rear of our house open for 90% of the day or night without the house reeking of weed.

Really, really wish the owners of No 26 across the back fence hadn't decided to move out and rent the house out...The tenants have been a bloody nightmare since the day the moved in.  The five kids (it's a postage stamp sized two bed house) who spend the whole time murdering each other with dull spoons if the noise is anything to go by and the barking tea cosy do nothing to endear themselves to me either.   Not sure if they've just started smoking weed, or if they're just doing it in the house now rather then sneaking off to one of the underpasses for it...but it's been inescapable for at least the last couple of weeks.

Really would like to move back to the country now please.

Yep, I know this pain. Our upstairs neighbours smoke some horrendously powerful green stuff and we can't have any windows open. I have heard they are not getting their tenancy renewed, so hopefully there's an end in sight... 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

49 minutes ago, cobblers said:

.... the guy shaving the elephants leg dropped a bit of meat on the floor and his first instinct was to look round and see if anyone had noticed, ....

He's clearly done that so many times that this is his natural reaction.

I remember they did an analysis of some of these elephants' legs and found that they contained traces of pork. This might seem alright but given that kebab joints are supposed to be Halal-compliant, it was a bit awkward.....

[rainagain]

Many many years ago I did deliveries for a chippy. To save money the owner used to reuse the clingfilm the elephant leg came wrapped in to wrap up the vegetables at the end of the night. ?

[Tenmil Socket]

I bet if we knew half the things that goes on in these take-aways it would put us off for good (and make me thinner).

[BorniteIdentity]

Reading this thread, I've come to the conclusion I'm the only person who likes the smell of Marijuana and doesn't mind the odd McDonalds.  I also have more children than bedrooms, so I reckon I'm probably the Anti-Christ.

Minor rant here.  Do you know how difficult it is to get a bike pump at the moment?  I've had two just "not turn up" from eBay and a third cancel after they've taken my money saying "OMGNOSTOCK".

Thank goodness for lyrca clad neighbours.

[DoctorRetro]

On 5/31/2020 at 8:16 AM, myglaren said:

In the absence of anything from the doctor, a mouthwash of warm salt water is fairly effective if not very pleasant.

Sorry, I didn't see the post

??

Not that I could have done much anyway.... 

[omegod]

On Kebabs, I've recently switched allegiance after my usual purveyor went crap. New supplier does phenomenal full house with chicken, juicy lamb and donner and a lovely soft nan bread, add a tub of tahini sauce and I'm literally in heaven.

My daughter ( 17 ) has stated she wants to try a donner kebab and was going to order one when at her mums, I said no way in hell was this going to happen, I missed her first steps and first words while working, I damn well refuse to miss her first kebab !

[iainrcz]

The shed roof is leaking.

Arse.

[cobblers]

1 hour ago, omegod said:

On Kebabs, I've recently switched allegiance after my usual purveyor went crap. New supplier does phenomenal full house with chicken, juicy lamb and donner and a lovely soft nan bread, add a tub of tahini sauce and I'm literally in heaven.

I can't get a decent kebab round here, they're all the same race to the bottom cheapest possible stuff - the "sweet" tasting doner meat, and those artificial sauces from the cash and carry. I'd rather pay £10 for a really nice kebab than £4 for a shite one, but I must be in the minority.

[omegod]

1 hour ago, iainrcz said:

The shed roof is leaking.

Arse.

If repairing it, try not to fall off it like I did last weekend !

[Out Run]

6 hours ago, paulplom said:

I agree with this. Fine if you're using your bike to commute but when your hobby infringes on my or other peoples day then it's a problem. The government has spent millions on cycle paths etc., why not fucking use them.

See also horses and riders.

Also what's the deal with using the lightest most expensive bike to do a hundred miles on? Sure 50 miles on a raleigh grifter would give you just as much exercise, if not more.

 

Edit: I'm a hobby cyclist but manage to keep off the roads. It's easy if you follow the signs.

Re all this ^
I like to cycle. I have a road bike, cyclocross and MTB. When on the roads, I stay to the side and never ride in the middle of the road, to fuck cars off.

But as for using cycle paths, fine if they are good quality (See London Cycle Superhighways), but if it’s some broken up footpath, with potholes, lampposts and kerbs littered along its meagre length, you won’t see me on there, on a road bike.

If I had a Grifter, as opposed to a CF machine, then I would.

I reckon most cyclists would like nothing more than to be separated from a load of the dangerous and ignorant drivers out there!

[somewhatfoolish]

On 6/3/2020 at 12:30 PM, Out Run said:

But as for using cycle paths, fine if they are good quality (See London Cycle Superhighways), but if it’s some broken up footpath, with potholes, lampposts and kerbs littered along its meagre length, you won’t see me on there, on a road bike.

This; for some reason some councils think it's quite alright to lay cycle paths that resemble the surface of the moon, which is particularly grievous when it's next to a road which is laid properly. The dogshit and broken glass is also an issue but mostly it's the quality. There has been a plan to link Dumbarton to Helensburgh with a cyclepath for longer than the the local council has existed, i.e. it predates the dissolution of Strathclyde Regional Council; they want to delay it further to 2027, because council. The stretch between Helensburgh and Garelochhead is comically shit; large stretches of it is just the gutter of the main road painted red or green, provided liberally with sunken drain covers, himalayan camber and regular requirement to cross from one side of the road to the other, because council.

[Bren]

11 hours ago, robinmasters said:

Very much of this.  They're everywhere at the moment, with their fat, middle aged (I am one of those, but don't impose it upon others) pasty fucking horribleness sticking out between the inappropriate lycra.  

I had written a long angry rant about this, but have thought better of it (but have included some rantage later on).  Succinctly, the issue is this: if you're out on your bike to exercise, use a road where you're not inconveniencing others. If you're cycling to work at 8am on a Monday, in an anorak, because that's the quickest way to work, with a queue of traffic behind you, fine.  If you're wearing a full tour de France get up at 3pm on a Sunday on the same road with a big queue behind you, you're a cunt.  

Best local example of this:

NSL road just round the corner from me.  Double white lines, so you can't overtake.  Lycra dickheads cycle on the road.  Monday morning anorak man?  He uses the FUCKING CYCLE LANE RIGHT NEXT TO THE ROAD.  

I thought some of the fat fuckers had saddle bags until I got closer and realised it was actually their arsecheeks.

[DoctorRetro]

1 minute ago, Bren said:

I thought some of the fat fuckers had saddle bags until I got closer and realised it was actually their arsecheeks.

Have you been following me? ?

I cycled from Eastwood to Rayleigh (3miles) on Monday and yesterday, managed to avoid all roads. Nearly killed me though, I'm a tad out of shape. 

Mind you, I wouldn't like to cycle down the A127! 

[Supernaut]

2 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

Reading this thread, I've come to the conclusion I'm the only person who likes the smell of Marijuana and doesn't mind the odd McDonalds.  I also have more children than bedrooms, so I reckon I'm probably the Anti-Christ.

Minor rant here.  Do you know how difficult it is to get a bike pump at the moment?  I've had two just "not turn up" from eBay and a third cancel after they've taken my money saying "OMGNOSTOCK".

Thank goodness for lyrca clad neighbours.

The smell of good cannabis is fine. Enjoyable even.

But, the type of people who smoke constantly also seem to get the foul smelling shit that smells like it's straight out of a jungle.

[mitsisigma01]

3 hours ago, Tenmil Socket said:

I bet if we knew half the things that goes on in these take-aways it would put us off for good (and make me thinner).

Many years ago whilst working in a bar I got the munchies for an elephant leg kebab, first one for years... took forever to turn up and when it did I was surprised to see a garnish on the top of a handful of pubic hair!!!! 

I didn't eat it and got a full refund delivered by the "manager", apparently another barman had used them and fkd them off, so I think they were hoping it was for him. They were right, the other bloke was a complete cockwomble

 

[iainrcz]

If repairing it, try not to fall off it like I did last weekend !

I think it's past that, I've just been up to check and the ply I made it from has started de-laminating.
Whoops.

[Spiny Norman]

40 minutes ago, Supernaut said:

The smell of good cannabis is fine. Enjoyable even.

But, the type of people who smoke constantly also seem to get the foul smelling shit that smells like it's straight out of a jungle.

There's definitely a nasty whiff of sweaty armpit about it these days.
 

[anonymous user]

2 hours ago, omegod said:

If repairing it, try not to fall off it like I did last weekend !

What were you doing on his shed roof, no wonder it's leaking.