Floatylight Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 Okay - I’m sorry for this rant, but it’s been building for a while now... I’m getting fed up being State side. Most of my mates have either moved back home or been forced to move to a different part of the country. Stupid things are like paper cuts at the moment. Most that you probably wouldn’t think of. Reading back a page or two here about giving the speeding motorist the ‘wanker’ sign. Over here they would probably think you were waving. As for shouting Wanker at them, they still wouldn’t have a clue FFS. Watched the US version of the Great British Bake Off tonight called ‘Nailed it’. I knew it was going to be bad with the opening credits, but they are touting $10k for the winner (as who would just want a bloody cake stand), was three people per episode and every funker had to be shouting or doing some ‘glam’ talk. I showed my wife a joke about Andrex and then had to explain that Andrex was a brand of loo roll. She only knows what loo roll is because she’s married to me. I’m also really getting warn down by the accent taking too. If I was to pretend to be Chinese and put on a Chinese accent (or insert most any foreign national of your choice here), I’d be up before HR at work or become a social lepper. But have a go at the ‘English’ accent. Open flippin season. Dick Van Bloody Dyke. I must hear someone say ‘pip-pip’ to me every single day of the week as average. And something about ‘Grey Pupon’ which apparently is some mustard some American company decided to scale ‘up market’ by making it British. Even the woman we just bought our new puppy from at an exorbitant cost, decided to have a go at a bit of ’Chim-chiminy’ speak with me. I moaned about it on the way home to my wife and she says it’s because they like the accent and I should blame Monty Python and Harry Potter. Fcuk me. If it wasn’t for Mrs Roobarb and Jnr, I’d be back quicker than a rat up a drain pipe (another colloquialism that they probably have no idea what it means). Sometime Men are from Mars, Women from Venus and being a Brit, I’m from Mary Poppins.Excellent rant 9/10... Cheers Guvna, cor blimey, love a duck, jellied eels, etc, etc....Sent from my SM-A505FN using Tapatalk somewhatfoolish, The Moog, stonedagain and 11 others 7 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulplom Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 4 hours ago, Roobarb said: Fcuk me. If it wasn’t for Mrs Roobarb and Jnr, I’d be back quicker than a rat up a drain pipe (another colloquialism that they probably have no idea what it means). Sometime Men are from Mars, Women from Venus and being a Brit, I’m from Mary Poppins. Sounds like you need a large glass of whisky. Sorry, bourbon. stonedagain, myglaren and Roobarb 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 You need to speak to @outlaw118 and invite him over for his jollies. Before you can say 'shandy drinking southerner' he'll be on the next flight in his pearly king outfit. Roobarb, myglaren, chaseracer and 4 others 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volksy Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 I spent a bit of time in the States last year, and I found the difference between the west and east coast attitudes to us Brits very odd. Despite there being far more of us in California (L.A. in particular), I couldn't pass a day without hearing at least one other Brit, there was a lot more of the above attitude towards me when ordering food/coffee/petrol/beer. However in South Carolina, I found a completely open and curious attitude, which was quite endearing. paulplom and Roobarb 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somewhatfoolish Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 14 hours ago, hennabm said: Timing is everything, right! Checking over my ovlov I noticed it damp underneath it. So a quick check shows that the top hose is the culprit. Once off I can see it has split under the clamp on the stat housing. It is marked Ovlov, so it may be 31years old. Temporary fix with self-amalgamating tape until it arrives? hennabm 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaseracer Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 2 hours ago, Floatylight said: Excellent rant 9/10... Cheers Guvna, cor blimey, love a duck, jellied eels, etc, etc.... I had to share an office with this... ??? Floatylight, Cavcraft and Roobarb 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaseracer Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 30 minutes ago, Volksy said: I spent a bit of time in the States last year, and I found the difference between the west and east coast attitudes to us Brits very odd. Despite there being far more of us in California (L.A. in particular), I couldn't pass a day without hearing at least one other Brit, there was a lot more of the above attitude towards me when ordering food/coffee/petrol/beer. However in South Carolina, I found a completely open and curious attitude, which was quite endearing. This. I once set hearts a-flutter in Annapolis MD merely by wishing "good afternoon" to the two 'ladies of a certain age' in the harbour information centre. It was 2009, I was younger (and thinner) then. And yes, Domestic Management thought it was HILARIOUS... Roobarb, Volksy and Cavcraft 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
outlaw118 Posted April 2, 2020 Author Share Posted April 2, 2020 1 hour ago, Cavcraft said: shandy drinking southerner Mmmmm I HEART SHANDEH ? Me and the trouble n strife are going to Asda... GrumpiusMaximus, Roobarb, chaseracer and 3 others 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floatylight Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 I had to share an office with this... Yeah, had to listen to a fair share of your rants too... Sent from my SM-A505FN using Tapatalk chaseracer and Roobarb 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaseracer Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 You were - and remain - a very patient man, Steven! Floatylight 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hairnet Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 8 hours ago, chaseracer said: I had to share an office with this... ??? being brummie is 400 times worse (and more annoying) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard_FM Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 8 hours ago, chaseracer said: This. I once set hearts a-flutter in Annapolis MD merely by wishing "good afternoon" to the two 'ladies of a certain age' in the harbour information centre. It was 2009, I was younger (and thinner) then. And yes, Domestic Management thought it was HILARIOUS... From all my visits stateside I’ve found you can have this effect especially if you go away from the usual tourist places. It doesn’t work every time I was quite amused when having a conversation with someone for 5 minutes before they realised I wasn’t American. Roobarb and chaseracer 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelandeth Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 Dear lord, I am going insane. Being stuck in the damned house is bad enough, but being stuck in the house when everyone else is working from home is a million times worse. Especially when they're basically working every waking moment, and on bloody conference calls for 80% of that time. Basically every job on the cars is waiting on parts arriving which aren't going to turn up for goodness only knows how long because the suppliers have shut down. The garden I can't really do anything with until I've got a way to get rid of the garden waste... that's dependant on both the tip being open and the Citroen being road legal...which is waiting on parts. I can see me painting the damned fences at this rate, and that's about my least favourite job in the history of the world... HarmonicCheeseburger 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somewhatfoolish Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 Are you in a no bonfires/clean air zone? If not it's time to release your inner pyromaniac. chodweaver, LightBulbFun, strangeangel and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelandeth Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 15 minutes ago, somewhatfoolish said: Are you in a no bonfires/clean air zone? If not it's time to release your inner pyromaniac. Sadly yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 18 hours ago, Roobarb said: Okay - I’m sorry for this rant, but it’s been building for a while now... I’m getting fed up being State side. Most of my mates have either moved back home or been forced to move to a different part of the country. Stupid things are like paper cuts at the moment. Most that you probably wouldn’t think of. Reading back a page or two here about giving the speeding motorist the ‘wanker’ sign. Over here they would probably think you were waving. As for shouting Wanker at them, they still wouldn’t have a clue FFS. Watched the US version of the Great British Bake Off tonight called ‘Nailed it’. I knew it was going to be bad with the opening credits, but they are touting $10k for the winner (as who would just want a bloody cake stand), was three people per episode and every funker had to be shouting or doing some ‘glam’ talk. I showed my wife a joke about Andrex and then had to explain that Andrex was a brand of loo roll. She only knows what loo roll is because she’s married to me. I’m also really getting warn down by the accent taking too. If I was to pretend to be Chinese and put on a Chinese accent (or insert most any foreign national of your choice here), I’d be up before HR at work or become a social lepper. But have a go at the ‘English’ accent. Open flippin season. Dick Van Bloody Dyke. I must hear someone say ‘pip-pip’ to me every single day of the week as average. And something about ‘Grey Pupon’ which apparently is some mustard some American company decided to scale ‘up market’ by making it British. Even the woman we just bought our new puppy from at an exorbitant cost, decided to have a go at a bit of ’Chim-chiminy’ speak with me. I moaned about it on the way home to my wife and she says it’s because they like the accent and I should blame Monty Python and Harry Potter. Fcuk me. If it wasn’t for Mrs Roobarb and Jnr, I’d be back quicker than a rat up a drain pipe (another colloquialism that they probably have no idea what it means). Sometime Men are from Mars, Women from Venus and being a Brit, I’m from Mary Poppins. Tamworthbay, HMC, Kowalski and 16 others 7 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roobarb Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 ^^^ Funny coincidence - I’m actually the second from the left in that picture (but I’m not saying which picture!) Not... I guess I shouldn’t complain. I had another Mary Poppins moment again today, followed by ‘I should really learn how to speak with a British accent... It’s just so sexy...’ chadders, Volksy and Cavcraft 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
outlaw118 Posted April 2, 2020 Author Share Posted April 2, 2020 When I visit my ex-pat mate in 'Murica the locals seem to think I'm Australian.... (cor blimey guvnor etc) Roobarb and Cavcraft 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loserone Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 Isn't that meant to be the Sweeney? Roobarb 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtriple Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 This fucking virus shit is expensive! Having to get what you can where you can costs a fortune, just been to the shops and bought eff all and it cost me £80! Still, at least I got the dogs Jumbones and a packet of digestives. Roobarb and Cavcraft 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tadhg Tiogar Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 21 minutes ago, xtriple said: This fucking virus shit is expensive! Having to get what you can where you can costs a fortune,.... Yes, it has given retailers the opportunity to edge prices up, partly because their own suppliers are charging more, because it may be costing them more to obtain supplies in turn. Price gouging/profiteering by retailers, on the other hand, is something else..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dozeydustman Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 Live from Lidl in Chichester Why oh why are you still allowing more than one household member per trolley? richardmorris, Cavcraft, stonedagain and 2 others 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 Chichester is nice and posh you wont catch it there Kowalski and myglaren 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dozeydustman Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 43 minutes ago, Christine said: Chichester is nice and posh you wont catch it there Ha! Like any town only parts are posh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wuvvum Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 15 hours ago, outlaw118 said: When I visit my ex-pat mate in 'Murica the locals seem to think I'm Australian.... (cor blimey guvnor etc) I seem to recall Del and Rodney Trotter had a similar issue when they visited the US. HillmanImp, stonedagain and Roobarb 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HillmanImp Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 1 hour ago, Christine said: Chichester is nice and posh you wont catch it there There's a LIDL in Chi? How positively beggarly. Margo is NOT happy. Imagine the riff raff? Coprolalia, myglaren, Cavcraft and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dozeydustman Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 7 minutes ago, HillmanImp said: There's a LIDL in Chi? How positively beggarly. Margo is NOT happy. Imagine the riff raff? We have an Aldi as well. Both are counteracted by large M&S and Waitroses, and most of the riff-raff go to Iceland or the huge Sainsbury's, two places I only go to when all else fails. HillmanImp 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spurious Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 I suppose this doesn't apply to the sensible people who buy oil in bulk. Dislike this (albeit not recent) trend of engine oil coming in 4l instead of 5l bottles. Pain in the arse... 5speedracer 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 Some little 'charmer' has posted an on-line video to social media live (at the time) from a hospital. The usual moronic, completely unproven rant that apparently 'proves' two Indian nurses neglecting someone. This 'proof' is just a shit video of two people behind a screen attending a patient and despite allegations of ill treatment or whatever, this lovely* girl merely tells one of the nurses to speak English when they come out from behind the screen. This disgusting waste of fucking oxygen then (in a sperate rant) moans about other people on the ward, when the reality clearly is she's a fucking 'Britain First' type dickhead. Luckily, it's been removed now, but in an ideal world we'd have an NHS were wankers like this aren't allowed to use it and have to go private. HarmonicCheeseburger, myglaren, privatewire and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reb Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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