The grumpy thread

[somewhatfoolish]

Techmoan on yootoob seems to get praised a lot for his dashcam reviews, worth a look?

[paulplom]

10 hours ago, MikeR said:

When i got diagnosed i thought i will be good and cut back on the booze ready for the big day .get some exercise .slim down ...

Then the big day .. gave it a few weeks and got some cans in . Nats piss to flush the tubes .Took them to the caravan .. left some as I would be back ....

No . That idea got shafted .

Now i am down to 1 can . Not even had a bottle of plonk for 2 months ... And now there is talk of a alcohol sales ban  .  FFS 

Not only that . The wife is here to go tut tut remember your kidney every time i lift a can . Yeah i am giving it a send off !!! 

Alcohol ban!? I've just felt someone walk over my grave. I think the suicide rate would go through the roof!

[captain_70s]

7 hours ago, Talbot said:

Another grump about the standards of driving at the moment.  Yes, the roads are clearer than they've been since about 1958, and yes you can (and I'll admit I have been) drive quite a lot faster than you might do usually, but FFS there is a time and a place.  Doing 70-75 on a wide open NSL road when you should be doing 60 is one thing, but the tosser I almost had a head-on with because he was doing about 60 in a 30 limit, and had to drift over to my side of the road to make a bend can absolutely fuck off.

I've absolutely no doubt that my near-2-tonne Mercedes would have torn through his Bini, but I rather like my Merc and I'd rather not destroy it, even if it meant taking that cunt off the road.  Cue much swerving to avoid what would have been a 10%-20% crossover head-on (IE one of the worst types of head-on you can have.)

I'm surprised there aren't more SCamera vans out and about at the moment.  They work in isolation, so no problems there, and I'm sure the Government could do with the extra monies.

On my commute I usually bomb along in the middle and right lanes passing everybody, since the travel ban I've been sitting in the left lane doing the same sort of speed but getting passed like I'm standing still. Also, when did red lights become optional? I've seen more reds blasted through in the last week than in my entire driving career up to that point...

[paulplom]

On 4/30/2009 at 9:00 AM, dollywobbler said:

Fuck hair products - what's all this Nivea crap trying to convince us that we need to smear suspicious cream all over our faces?!What men want? Bollocks. You just hope that telling us that it's what blokes want will make blokes want it. I think they've massively misunderstood the market. What men want is cars and girls, even though Prefab Sprout once tried to tell us via the medium of popular music that there's more to life. Rubbish.

I used to think that and now I'm wrinkly as fuck.

[Lord Sterling]

On 3/29/2020 at 8:41 AM, Cheggers said:

My second is that one of the "challenges" to win cash was to reverse your own car into a supermarket parking space (with no adjacent cars) with no wheels touching or over the lines. Since when was that

A. Saturday night entertainment?
B. Considered a challenge?
C. Seemingly impossible to a proportion of drivers?

You're kidding right? Is getting a car into a space really a "challenge" these days?

[bramz7]

Meant to have Omega scrapped today 

Omega battery dead. Forgot the bonnet release is knackered. 

Manage to destroy my hand attempting to get it open with a tyre lever.

Still not starting. Problem is it took a ton of cranking to get going anyway. 

Scrappy then goes to wrong address 20 miles away.

 

Now I've got eleven hours at work! 

[Lankytim]

Shame the Omega is getting cubed! 

[purplebargeken]

Cunt drivers round here are driving even more like cunts. Red light? No bother, just drive through it. can't be arsed indicating, don't worry about it. Speed limits? What the fuck are they, there's no other cars about anyway, fuck it. UTTER WANKERS.

Oh, for all the NHS clappers.

Thank you, it was appreciated.

Even the next door Bulgarians joined in. They had no fucking idea why they were clapping and cheering but they did it anyway. Bless 'em.

[bramz7]

20 minutes ago, Lankytim said:

Shame the Omega is getting cubed! 

Yes maybe, but it's the only money I'll get for it at the moment. 

Plus it's really not okay. The suspension is like jelly the way it's oscillating. And it's slow. So slow. 

 

I managed to get it to start and I'm now waiting for Redcorn. 

[Zelandeth]

Why the hell are people in the park having bloody picnics?!?  That is not a valid reason to be out and about.

If the order changes to "stay indoors or else" it's going to be because of the idiots like that.  Who I seem to be seeing daily.  Why can't people just follow the instructions?  It's just going to make things worse and screw us over for even longer.

[vulgalour]

But they're bored, Zel.  They're bored and fed up of being indoors and it's so nice it'd be a shame to waste the day cooped up inside.  Don't you understand how bored they are?

[myglaren]

Just walked to the next village for some bread and milk and was rather surprised to see those few that were out to be driving quite sensibly and within the speed limits.

Downside was that as I passed Ayton school there were two ambulances driving in there, followed by a police van.  It was a while before I went back that way and they were still there.

Makes you wonder.

[beko1987]

That's my karma for disobeying lockdown and going to help mum move house

This is where the rock hit first on the bonnet

Bastard. The only slightly saving grace is the windscreen is utter shit anyway but it wasnt even on my list, now it's on and £75. Ah well, there's no hurry to do it I suppose. 

[Bren]

I have noticed lots of speeders - not just a little over the limit - taking the piss. I saw one M3 doing around a ton in a 30. Unbelievable.

[beko1987]

33 minutes ago, Bren said:

I have noticed lots of speeders - not just a little over the limit - taking the piss. I saw one M3 doing around a ton in a 30. Unbelievable.

Fully related to my grump above, about 30 seconds after that happened, a black landrover shot past me and went to do the lorry too but came across a corner. He sharply went from right up his arse to way back like I was, tosser. Hope it did his screen in too...

Had a van force his way in on me earlier in my stepdads car too, i'm glad I'm home now! (albeit with a smashed windscreen)

[Aston Martin]

I'm having a coffee, eating a bagel, good times are being had.

And then this Tampax advert comes on TV and you need to make sure you're shoving it up far enough... 

[Pieman]

5 minutes ago, Aston Martin said:

I'm having a coffee, eating a bagel, good times are being had.

And then this Tampax advert comes on TV and you need to make sure you're shoving it up far enough... 

Reminds me of a few months back when the bog roll ad featuring young kids saying "how clean they feel" after wiping their arses was regularly on TV.  Either than one, or one about vaginal dryness, would ALWAYS be on while I was trying to eat my tea!

[Pieman]

On 3/31/2020 at 1:24 PM, purplebargeken said:

Even the next door Bulgarians joined in. They had no fucking idea why they were clapping and cheering but they did it anyway. Bless 'em.

Ironic, as that's probably why they came here in the first place.[/Daily Mail]

[Richard_FM]

That & the number of ads for bladder leakage cures recently.

[Aston Martin]

Maybe because we're all off work and this shite is always on TV?

They should air them all during loose women...

 

[Supernaut]

Mention of Tampax just made me think of this.

 

[meggersdog]

Modern technology.. Printer ran out of ink so put another cartridge in and now the laptop can't find the wifi printer.Even with a lead connected from one to the other nothing. Used my phone to print a duplicate as it's way too small to actually log mot results on. What a  bloody pain.Sod it I'm going home.

[xtriple]

Not bothered getting dressed for three - four days now, unshaven, unshowered, I even take the dog out in my tracky bottoms (My pyjamas!) but not until it's dark so there's less chance of seeing anyone. Spend all morning asleep and all afternoon watching shit on the telly. Bored doesn't even cover it. It's bad enough when I have to do this 'cos I'm sick or it's pissing it down, but to be shut in when I feel okay (rare) and it's not raining (even rarer) and the sunshine is, er, shining (Rarest of the lot!).

I wasn't even going to bother cooking dinner and had to force myself to get my arse into gear and feed the dogs (and then myself). I am really good at this lockdown lark, but it's not so much fun when you have to do it. Enforced hermitage, not good.

[hennabm]

Timing is everything, right!

Checking over my ovlov I noticed it damp underneath it. So a quick check shows that the top hose is the culprit. Once off I can see it has split under the clamp on the stat housing. It is marked Ovlov, so it may be 31years old. 

Can I get one - can I ****.

Local dealer closed; Brookhouse site closed until 3rd April and eBay ones dear or poor quality. I can get one from Germany in 5 working days but double the price of the Brookhouse offering. Looks like it is now VOR. I was going to change the cambelt after the MOT that expires at the end of this month. Will get the belt done now and hope I get the 6mths added when the time comes.

Going shopping on Friday for my vulnerable parents. Good job other vehicles on the fleet are good to go.

[Flashband]

I've had my eye on a motorbike for sale on eBay for a few days. Did the usual checks online mot history etc which were good. It's cheap for what is so decide to take the gamble despite being 250 miles away and no chance of viewing.

Last night I message the seller to check bike was as described and if he was ok with a courier collecting. He replied all was good so I got some quotes for delivery, hit buy it now, paid and put the deposit down for the courier. Sent another message asking for collection address then went to bed. 

Still with me...

This morning 3 messages waiting for me on eBay, first him ranting about not getting in touch. Second he's cancelled and refunded. Third more ranting about time wasters.

So I ring him asking what's the problem. You didn't pay says he, erm but I did replies me your cancellation has triggered a refund. I never put PayPal as a payment option he counters. I point out all ebay auctions have PayPal but if fees are the issue i can pay by bank transfer. This triggers a torrent of abuse, apparently I'm a weird little man with mental health problems etc then ends the call.

So to recap, buying a bike having checked with seller terms, paying and arranging collection equates to me being a weird little man who has to eat the non refundable deposit I put down with the courier.  Ok I probably dodged a bullet but it's left a bad taste.

To crown the fiasco he's relisted at the same price. Bizzare

[Cavcraft]

Stick a link up, I'm sure none of have time to annoy him for you.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

13 minutes ago, Flashband said:

.....So to recap, buying a bike having checked with seller terms, paying and arranging collection equates to me being a weird little man who has to eat the non refundable deposit I put down with the courier.  Ok I probably dodged a bullet but it's left a bad taste.

To crown the fiasco he's relisted at the same price. Bizzare

I get the feeling he doesn't really want to sell it.

[wuvvum]

1 hour ago, hennabm said:

double the price of the Brookhouse offering.

Bloody hell...  

[Flashband]

1 hour ago, Cavcraft said:

Stick a link up, I'm sure none of have time to annoy him for you.

A childish person would have spent an hour signing his number up for dozens of call back services.

If I had his address he would be getting a pallet load of Argos catalogues 

 

 

[Roobarb]

Okay - I’m sorry for this rant, but it’s been building for a while now...

I’m getting fed up being State side. 

Most of my mates have either moved back home or been forced to move to a different part of the country. 

Stupid things are like paper cuts at the moment. Most that you probably wouldn’t think of.

Reading back a page or two here about giving the speeding motorist the ‘wanker’ sign. Over here they would probably think you were waving. As for shouting Wanker at them, they still wouldn’t have a clue FFS.

Watched the US version of the Great British Bake Off tonight called ‘Nailed it’.

I knew it was going to be bad with the opening credits, but they are touting $10k for the winner (as who would just want a bloody cake stand), was three people per episode and every funker had to be shouting or doing some ‘glam’ talk.

I showed my wife a joke about Andrex and then had to explain that Andrex was a brand of loo roll. She only knows what loo roll is because she’s married to me.

I’m also really getting warn down by the accent taking too.

If I was to pretend to be Chinese and put on a Chinese accent (or insert most any foreign national of your choice here), I’d be up before HR at work or become a social lepper. But have a go at the ‘English’ accent. Open flippin season. Dick Van Bloody Dyke.

I must hear someone say ‘pip-pip’ to me every single day of the week as average. And something about ‘Grey Pupon’ which apparently is some mustard some American company decided to scale ‘up market’ by making it British.

Even the woman we just bought our new puppy from at an exorbitant cost, decided to have a go at a bit of ’Chim-chiminy’ speak with me. I moaned about it on the way home to my wife and she says it’s because they like the accent and I should blame Monty Python and Harry Potter. 

Fcuk me. If it wasn’t for Mrs Roobarb and Jnr, I’d be back quicker than a rat up a drain pipe (another colloquialism that they probably have no idea what it means). Sometime Men are from Mars, Women from Venus and being a Brit, I’m from Mary Poppins.