The grumpy thread

[Station]

Au Contraire Clarkson. You gave the MGF a gleaming review in 1996, and find me even one slightly negative review on the MGZS. He even liked that MG supercar. He comes out with some decent stuff, and then just ruins it by reverting to the cliched Jeremy Clarkson.

[Pete-M]

He's got a perfectly good point when it comes to any MG that isn't a ZT 260, because they're all shite.

[Lankytim]

Fair enough, but he could have just gone along with it for 5 minutes!

 

Oh yeah... we have been waiting in for the Asda delivery before we can have dinner- 1x Cheese stuffed pepperoni pizza. Van turns up, delivers then drives off. You guessed it. NOT IN STOCK- 1X Cheese stuffed pepperoni pizza. I have been waiting in all night for this pizza. Apparently I "pulled a face I have never pulled before"

 

Oh a slightly brighter note, the van was driven by the stores security guard as the regular driver is off. Since she went out on her run a plasma TV has been nicked from the store. LOL!

[Angrydicky]

Fair enough, but he could have just gone along with it for 5 minutes!

 

Oh yeah... we have been waiting in for the Asda delivery before we can have dinner- 1x Cheese stuffed pepperoni pizza. Van turns up, delivers then drives off. You guessed it. NOT IN STOCK- 1X Cheese stuffed pepperoni pizza. I have been waiting in all night for this pizza. Apparently I "pulled a face I have never pulled before"

 

Oh a slightly brighter note, the van was driven by the stores security guard as the regular driver is off. Since she went out on her run a plasma TV has been nicked from the store. LOL!

 

Did you specify no substitutes? Normally I'd expect you would have got a substitute on something like that, I deliver for Asda and loads of customers moan that things are missing, most of the time there is a reason, i.e. they clicked "no subs".

 

Doesn't always work though, 90% of the time a "3 for £10" offer of bottles of wine have been substituted, the customer rejects them and we have to take them back to the store. I hate it when customers pick through all the subs and spend ages deciding if they're acceptable, by which time I'm late to the next one

[CreepingJesus]

^ Working for Tesco and Asda regularly, I've had the pleasure of sharing the nicotine lepers corner with more than a few home delivery drivers. Their usual complaints are hassle over missing/subbed items, people inspecting things to ridiculous lengths, vans having only 3 gears left, and a lack of porno film moments ("Hey baby, I've come to deliver your shopping" "Oh dear, all my clothes appear to have fallen off spontaneously" *cue wah-wah guitar*...schwing!). They're a really happy bunch.

[warren t claim]

Richard Madeley. I thought Chris Evans was a tool until I listened to this prick.

[Richard]

I think Alan Partridge is based on Madeley.

[Guest]

Cut out large quantities of caffeine and dairy this week.

 

Go to bed early.

 

Sleep [very] heavily, have numerous vivid dreams about being imprisoned.

 

Wake up feeling utterly shit.

 

Eh?

[M'coli]

Could be caffiene withdrawal.

[Station]

Scanned a load of brochures in Photoshop. Clicked to scan in the second to last page on the final brochure, unfortunately clicked on some third party negative scanner and it said the scanner wasn't there and quit out of Photoshop, and I lost an hour's worth of scanning.

[Albert Ross]

Spending a few hours today rodding the main sewage pipe outside the house as it had bacome blocked since a bit of a party. Up to my knees in shit, suddenly realisng that I needed more rods. Luckily a neighbour had some. 9 metres in all, and still remembering to keep turning clockwise............... great. And all I wanted was to doss on the sofa. Anyone want a nice pair of Cat boots? Brown.

[Station]

Suddenly losing all my scanning work seems OK.

[messerschmitt owner]

cleaning up the puke from my eight year old's projectile vomiting in her bed

[warren t claim]

cleaning up the puke from projectile vomiting my eight year old scotch in my bed.

[Guest]

Clearing up an eight year old I projectile-launched off the front of my car whilst drinking scotch. Whoops!

[warren t claim]

Dangerous HGV drivers.

 

I've left this one a while before complaining because I want the company concerned to remain anonymous for obvious reasons.

 

It may surprise you to hear that it's quite unusual for me to ride in the passenger seat of a truck, as companies are paying for my services by the hour having me riding shotgun is an expensive luxury. Recently (and I'm not saying when) I had to collect a unit that had been repaired from a depot in the midlands and was taken there by another driver that does that journey twenty times a week.

 

How we made it there without killing ourselves or a member of the public is more down to luck than skill. At one point I was convinced we brushed a cyclist with the underrun bars of the trailer. I'll admit that a truck will cling on in corners better than you'd think but this guy was throwing it into blind corners quicker than I'd dare to in a Transit. I understand that he knows the road very well but familiarity does breed contempt and he was happy to admit to having "a few bumps a year".

 

Driving a truck isn't rocket science. The vast majority off new HGVs I drive that are over 18 tonnes are automatic (as was this one) and to be honest after a ten minute lesson and a demo drive most of you reading this could do about 80% of my job. All it takes is a bit of forward planning and being aware of the size of what you're driving. Unfortunately this driver didn't seem to have even grasped this simple premise. I understand we all have bad days but this man had held his class 1 ticket for over five years so I'd of thought that he'd of been a lot safer and not making so many serious and dangerous errors in his driving.

 

I really don't know what to do. I'm not the sort of person who'd report someone without hard evidence and it would only be my word against his anyway.

[Albert Ross]

Can they not fit a "blck box" in his cab that records speeds and mileage, therefore being able to correlate information to see if he was indeed going too fast for a certain type of road and his position on it (not speeding, but being irresponsible etc) Don't want anyone to lose their job, but what if someone loses their life, like a cyclist?

[eddyramrod]

What makes me grumpy? Anyone who thinks HGV driving is a piece of piss that everyone can do. Lots drift into it with that thought in their heads, and they fail. It's something you have to have in your blood, you have to WANT to do it. The pay is shit (I was earning more per hour as a bottom-of-the-ladder unqualified casual care worker, FFS!), the hours are insane, and incidentally all the WTD has done is add extra stress to the driver's day. There has certainly NOT been any reduction in the hours you are expected to work. All that happens is the authorities have more excuses to fine you, which they will at every opportunity. You are automatically guilty, whatever the situation; it never matters that you weren't even there at the time. You are always late ("Where the fuck have you been until now?" will always be the first words out of your boss's mouth when you get back, if he's even bothered to hang on so far beyond his "workday") and no legitimate reason is accepted, as you are the driver, therefore you are lying, or at least wrong. There isn't even any job security, because your boss believes (correctly) that there is a long line of people just waiting to step into your shoes. He doesn't realise that he will have to train a new one every week because either they are so useless he will sack them, or they find the job so tough they just walk off. (In fact he won't be training them... his one capable driver, who stays for reasons nobody will ever understand, will have to be dragged off his regular work to do it.)

 

Anyone want to guess what I used to do for a living? And, crucially, always wanted to do?

 

I'm not excusing sloppy driving, by the way, never! But there are some deep-seated misconceptions out there about the life... it isn't the soft option some think.

[CIH]

Other than the usual side-by-sides on the motorway, Truckers rarely bother me. It's actually pretty awesome watching peeps manouvre a big arctic about the place.

Same with buses actually, just a little consideration to someone driving a big, slow-ass brick.

[Lord Sterling]

I really don't know what to do. I'm not the sort of person who'd report someone without hard evidence and it would only be my word against his anyway.

 

You could just report your 'concerns' about his driving rather than having to collect evidence for hard facts, I think it would be pretty difficult for you to do that, do the trucks not have an on-board Black Box? If the company are even half-bothered they might do something about it. It would be far better you at least try to do something about it than have him kill himself or another innocent bystander/driver.

[Inspector Morose]

What makes me grumpy? Anyone who thinks HGV driving is a piece of piss that everyone can do. Lots drift into it with that thought in their heads, and they fail. It's something you have to have in your blood, you have to WANT to do it. The pay is shit (I was earning more per hour as a bottom-of-the-ladder unqualified casual care worker, FFS!), the hours are insane, and incidentally all the WTD has done is add extra stress to the driver's day. There has certainly NOT been any reduction in the hours you are expected to work. All that happens is the authorities have more excuses to fine you, which they will at every opportunity. You are automatically guilty, whatever the situation; it never matters that you weren't even there at the time. You are always late ("Where the fuck have you been until now?" will always be the first words out of your boss's mouth when you get back, if he's even bothered to hang on so far beyond his "workday") and no legitimate reason is accepted, as you are the driver, therefore you are lying, or at least wrong. There isn't even any job security, because your boss believes (correctly) that there is a long line of people just waiting to step into your shoes. He doesn't realise that he will have to train a new one every week because either they are so useless he will sack them, or they find the job so tough they just walk off. (In fact he won't be training them... his one capable driver, who stays for reasons nobody will ever understand, will have to be dragged off his regular work to do it.)

 

Anyone want to guess what I used to do for a living? And, crucially, always wanted to do?

 

I'm not excusing sloppy driving, by the way, never! But there are some deep-seated misconceptions out there about the life... it isn't the soft option some think.

 

Exactly the same in the bus industry too. But there the pay is crappier and you have to deal with the great unwashed who also accuse you of all and sundry; if you are on the buses, they will try to rob or generally abuse you (I got robbed at knife point and threatened so many times I just stopped being worried about it and just accepted abuse off the general public as being an inevitable part of the job). If you drive coaches, you are expected to have an encyclopaedic knowledge of every road, house, restaurant, stately home or any answer to any question your client wants to know. At all times you are responsible for anything up to 80 lives at one time and if on the school run, you are expected to manage that number of rowdy schoolchildren on your own while concentrating on driving safely at all times.

 

After all that, when you get back to base, you are then expected to clean out all the crap that you great public has decided that it was far easier for them to drop on the floor than to put in a rubbish bin (this may include used nappies, half drunk cans and cartons, used chewing gum etc.). If you are coaching, the joys of cleaning the bog welcome you (you can guess how nice this job can be, especially after a stag or hen do without me going into graphic detail at tea time). If you don't do a good enough job in getting rid of this detritus in time for the next client brings on constant complaints on how dirty and disgusting your coach is and that you don't give a shit about them.

 

I've spent over twenty years in this industry now and its mindset hasn't changed from the seventies with racism, sexism, job demarcation and all that was wrong with society at the time; it sickens me what goes on behind the scenes at times.

 

I still do it, although on a freelance basis now (I like the ability to say no but have to relent at rent paying time)for similar reasons to you Eddy. I still ant to!

[eddyramrod]

^^^ What he said! This is the side of life the general public never sees, and doesn't care about. All they see is a big slow-moving box. To them, you're invisible.

 

To the boss, you're invisible too, you are nothing more than a number unless you are really lucky and get into the kind of outfit that's still run by the man whose name is on the door, and who not only knows all (four of) his staff by name but also their kids' birthdays. Those businesses are, not surprisingly, fast-disappearing into the waste-disposal that is Big Business.

 

I couldn't do buses, or coaches, I really really don't like my so-called fellow human that much. It takes a special dedication. Do we have an emoticon for applause?

[Lankytim]

Top be fair trucking is a great job in itself... Its just like driving a real tonka toy. Who wouldn't want to do that? The problem lies with absolutely everyone and everything else associated with the job. Customers/transport staff/security staff/motorists e.t.c all seem to be against you. Bosses generally try to work you into the ground and don't give a stuff about any concerns or comments you make. Anything that ever goes wrong is always the drivers fault, no matter what. Spend a while driving lorries and you will soon see why many truckers are such miserable gits.

 

A few years ago there was a shortage of lorryists and wages were pretty high. £500+ a week take home was the norm. Truckers had a little control over bullying transport clerks and bosses as there was such a shortage of drivers you could just walk out and into another job, so they had to atleast pretend to be nice to you. After the eastern European countries joined the E.U and started driving anything for £7 an hour round the clock things changed. Then came the credit crunch and you were lucky to have a job in driving at all. Minimum wage for driving an artic is now common and its become the type of working environment where you can be dismissed over nothing at any time... theres plenty of other drivers willing to take your place- and the bosses and transport staff know it . At the last place I worked (Sainsburys Stoke) I was suspended for 2 weeks after I hit a traffic cone on the M6 after it had been knocked into my path by the truck infront. They told me there was a good chance i'd be dismissed as there was so many drivers trying to get work there.

 

On top of that there's enough rules and regulations to learn that you need to be Einstein to get your head round them (to be fair most truckers aint) New E.U regs are a total pain to comply with, too. Any minor misdemeanors regarding driving hours or working time directive e.t.c can result in a £200 fine for each infringement, and its bloody easy to go over your time by a few minutes or accidentally take 1 minute too little on your break.

 

All thats before I get onto subjects like hijackings, robberies and accidentally killing yourself/someone else wether it be out on the road or in a yard somewhere.

 

So yes... apart from all that, its a great job. I no longer drive a truck for a living, I now work a normal 9-5 in the electronics industry. No more 15 hour days, no more stuck out all week in a shitty lorry, no more being spoken to and treated like something someone has stepped in. More time with the family, more job security, same money, less hours LESS STRESS. My health has improved no end.

 

FACTOID. Bus drivers CAN'T reverse. Lorryists CAN .

[eddyramrod]

It absolutely IS a great job! DLT (yes, that DLT) said it in his skit on Convoy: when you're up in the cab you're the king of the road, and it's dead romantic-like. You are, it is! Sadly, as Tim so rightly says, everything and everyone beyond that windscreen seems determined to spoil that.

 

As far as I know, there's still a world shortage of lorry drivers; when was the pay ever good? Maybe I was in a different whatever-I-could-get survival-type job at the time, like cleaning the toilets in Tesco... (I've had many of those, and always approached them as professionally as I did driving).

[Inspector Morose]

FACTOID. Bus drivers CAN'T reverse. Lorryists CAN .

 

WAR!!!

 

Nah, you're right. Bus drivers are hopeless as they never need to. Coach drivers are only slightly better. I practice regularly so I'm not too shabby

 

One acronym to the pair of you that we can both agree on VOSA.

[Tayne]

.

[brammy777]

Bus drivers round here reverse out of the bus station, although it used to be fun spotting all the bent metal barriers where it had clearly gone wrong. They arent a bad bunch and I seem to get the more experienced ones on this route, although one of them once had a go at me for not having a light when he had to brake hard for the bus stop in the dark. Pretty sure you should be considering the possibility of passengers at stops.

[eddyramrod]

Bus drivers round here reverse out of the bus station.

 

Have they forgotten what they were taught, or have they simply never passed a UK test? I blame the parents... (well everyone else does, )

[Louise2cv]

I'd hate to be a bus driver for lots of reasons, mainly people, the size of the bus and all the responsiblity. I couldn't do that job. Or trucking, much respect.

 

However the bus drivers round here scare me. I've seen the aftermath of about 4 bus accidents in 2 years in an area covering about 10 miles. Seems like a high incidence to me. Twice now there have been tyre tracks on the grass roundabout where the bus has gone straight over, literally... and this is a roundabout where the exits are either left or right

 

I've seen one bus trying to race another (tailgating, pulling out to the otherside of the road and attempting overtakes) and perhaps the most shocking was a bus driver holding a mobile to his ear with one hand while drinking from a 2l pop bottle with the other He was going too fast to get the company name or route number!

[Pete-M]

When I was unfortunate enough to drive limos for a living I found that truck drivers would give me space, bus drivers didn't seem to grasp that a car 33ft long with a 30 ft wheelbase doesn't turn particularly well.

 

Later on, when I was no longer driving 'em, but still involved in the business it was obvious that truckers could drive the limo, but every bus driver we sent out in the thing would come back with the o/s scraped between the doors. Blind spot that bus drivers didn't seem to understand.

 

Truck drivers are a different league from my experience. Bus drivers are apparently useless.