sierraman Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 9 minutes ago, twosmoke300 said: Would you like the job ? ? Not if I could help it no. ? Not a job you’d attempt without the benefit of a rattle gun and a blow torch... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saabnut Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 I have loaned my rusty scruffy beat up 52 plate Yaris to a friend as her car is off the road. Sunday morning it was parked in town (Stonehaven) while she was at work Two hours later she returned to find someone had stolen one of the front wheels ( a rusty steel) FFS HarmonicCheeseburger, myglaren, Supernaut and 2 others 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pieman Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 Nearly everyone I know has had their vehicles nicked or damaged recently. Are Greta's followers just randomly taking it out on vehicles to make themselves feel smug? stonedagain 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twosmoke300 Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 1 hour ago, sierraman said: Not if I could help it no. ? Not a job you’d attempt without the benefit of a rattle gun and a blow torch... And new arms / bolts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supernaut Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 1 hour ago, Saabnut said: I have loaned my rusty scruffy beat up 52 plate Yaris to a friend as her car is off the road. Sunday morning it was parked in town (Stonehaven) while she was at work Two hours later she returned to find someone had stolen one of the front wheels ( a rusty steel) FFS Sorry for the laugh react, but I did indeed laugh. I didn't think Stonehaven was that bad! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fumbler Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 Today has been rather hectic for the Fumbler Household. This morning, Grandmother Fumbler dislocated her replacement hip, fell on the ground and was wailing in agony. Paramedics arrived an hour after the 999 call and propped her up off the kitchen floor. They asked if she was physically fit, "oh yes yes" she said when she isn't. In fact, with every replacement she's had, she's run a cart and horse through the physio rulebook and ignored doctors' advice. Mother Fumbler tries to find all the prescriptions Grandmother has to explain all the pills she has. No, finds nothing and instead finds loose pills, empty packets and nothing else. She is in so much agony the paramedics have to pump her full of morphine so she's as high as a kite and cannot answer to anything. She's carted off to hospital. At 1:00, Mother Fumbler calls to ask if everything is well. The hospital says everything is fine for now but Grandmother is being trnasported through the building so no active status can be given. Fair enough, that's fine, so Kother Fumbler does a ring-around to explain the situation to all the family. We call at 3:00 and get directly to Grandmother Fumbler. She's said she's properly dislocated her hip and is being transported to the operating table in the next 20 minutes. Bollocks, that means she will be immobile, using a Zimmer frame and everything for another month because she'll be at the same stage as she was when she had her hip done. Will she listen to excercise advice and what the doctors say this time around? Probably not! stonedagain and purplebargeken 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeR Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 F in taxi cuts in and nearly takes a coat of paint with it . Drivers points at mirror and suggests i am in the wrong .. I point at my car cam and he fuks offf . mrbenn, stonedagain, BorniteIdentity and 2 others 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inspector Morose Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 2 hours ago, Saabnut said: I have loaned my rusty scruffy beat up 52 plate Yaris to a friend as her car is off the road. Sunday morning it was parked in town (Stonehaven) while she was at work Two hours later she returned to find someone had stolen one of the front wheels ( a rusty steel) FFS #STONEYLIFE Saabnut and stonedagain 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wuvvum Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 57 minutes ago, MikeR said: F in taxi cuts in and nearly takes a coat of paint with it . Drivers points at mirror and suggests i am in the wrong .. I point at my car cam and he fuks offf . I trust you made sure to repeatedly yell "CAMRUH!!!" as you did so. clayts450, stonedagain and Craig the Princess 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 2 hours ago, Pieman said: Nearly everyone I know has had their vehicles nicked or damaged recently. Are Greta's followers just randomly taking it out on vehicles to make themselves feel smug? Are you just taking it out on her and her followers to make yourself look clever*? jumpingjehovahs, catsinthewelder, stonedagain and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sierraman Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 I wish the wife would stop filling our Sky with Dave Gorman. He’s such a fucking crushing bore. HillmanImp and overrun 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruffgeezer Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 This thing is a bastard. The compression joint was leaking from day one, so that shut off the valves, froze the pipe and put new olives on and now both ends of the rad are leaking. FFS! Lankytim and purplebargeken 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruffgeezer Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 Seriously, fuck whoever plumbed this lot in, that cunt. I've had to pull a wall load of badly fitted tiles down, re-plumb the sink, the lav and now the bath. To cap it all off the new waste has a fancy metal plug that won't fit the fucking plughole. Cunt cunt cuntity cunting cuntfucklet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hairnet Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 31 minutes ago, ruffgeezer said: Cunt cunt cuntity cunting cuntfucklet. quote of the year (sorry tim) richardmorris, ruffgeezer, Cavcraft and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louiepj Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 Today has been rather hectic for the Fumbler Household. This morning, Grandmother Fumbler dislocated her replacement hip, fell on the ground and was wailing in agony. Paramedics arrived an hour after the 999 call and propped her up off the kitchen floor. They asked if she was physically fit, "oh yes yes" she said when she isn't. In fact, with every replacement she's had, she's run a cart and horse through the physio rulebook and ignored doctors' advice. Mother Fumbler tries to find all the prescriptions Grandmother has to explain all the pills she has. No, finds nothing and instead finds loose pills, empty packets and nothing else. She is in so much agony the paramedics have to pump her full of morphine so she's as high as a kite and cannot answer to anything. She's carted off to hospital. At 1:00, Mother Fumbler calls to ask if everything is well. The hospital says everything is fine for now but Grandmother is being trnasported through the building so no active status can be given. Fair enough, that's fine, so Kother Fumbler does a ring-around to explain the situation to all the family. We call at 3:00 and get directly to Grandmother Fumbler. She's said she's properly dislocated her hip and is being transported to the operating table in the next 20 minutes. Bollocks, that means she will be immobile, using a Zimmer frame and everything for another month because she'll be at the same stage as she was when she had her hip done. Will she listen to excercise advice and what the doctors say this time around? Probably not!We have moved a couple of older members of the family on to NOMAD packs for medication, more hassle for pharmacy to put together but very handy for times like this when medications need to be identified or you need to know if they are taking them.Sent from my SM-A505FN using Tapatalk chaseracer and Fumbler 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 I'm on holiday with my family... I'm 25 minutes away from swearing violently, and about an hour from bundling the kids in the car and driving home... And their not even being that bad! New POD 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New POD Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 3 hours ago, MikeR said: F in taxi cuts in and nearly takes a coat of paint with it . Drivers points at mirror and suggests i am in the wrong .. I point at my car cam and he fuks offf . We should call it Mike's porn Cam. As Mike gets to record a lot of Cunts. Or does he? You post is useless without footage, so we can all say, "Nah, it was obvious that he was going to do that, and you need to chill" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtriple Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 About 4p.m. terrible stomach pains... you can guess the rest without graphic details. Now laying on the floor with a dog either side of me t try and keep warm all three of us under the duvet. I feel TERRIBLE! Cavcraft, Roobarb and HarmonicCheeseburger 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New POD Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 22 minutes ago, beko1987 said: I'm on holiday with my family... I'm 25 minutes away from swearing violently, and about an hour from bundling the kids in the car and driving home... And their not even being that bad! Take a 35 minute walk alone ? Jmac 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HillmanImp Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 2 hours ago, sierraman said: I wish the wife would stop filling our Sky with Dave Gorman. He’s such a fucking crushing bore. I was at one of his gigs at Hull uni in about 1996. We'd sat at the front to do some heckling as usual and had some good banter with the support act. Gorman comes on and isn't particularly funny. He then starts telling a joke about blind people despite there being a blind lass sat on the table next to us right in front of him. My mate stops him and says, "Do you mind mate, theres a blind lass sat just there". Gorman takes offence to this and gives a shitty response. Paul just tells him to fuck off pointing out that he isn't funny. He then tries telling a few more jokes, each time thinking he's being clever by asking my mate if its okay to tell a joke about toasters in case there are any in the room etc but he's already lost the crowd who think he's a complete cunt and he eventually just calls the crowd shit and fucks off stage which is the only time he got an applause all evening. Sadly my mate Simon missed all the excitement as he'd stormed off in a huff earlier in the evening as we were taking the piss out of him for not knowing what cunnilingus was. Not really relevant but it still makes me laugh. myglaren, Supernaut, Amishtat and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richardmorris Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 19 minutes ago, xtriple said: About 4p.m. terrible stomach pains... you can guess the rest without graphic details. Now laying on the floor with a dog either side of me t try and keep warm all three of us under the duvet. I feel TERRIBLE! Similar here - I didn’t get out of bed yesterday until time to watch dr who. No idea what it was, sweating and cold at the same time and slept for about twenty hours. Much better today. xtriple 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 33 minutes ago, New POD said: Take a 35 minute walk alone ? I did, left my baccy in the car. Feel better now Jmac 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omegod Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 19 minutes ago, HillmanImp said: I was at one of his gigs at Hull uni in about 1996. We'd sat at the front to do some heckling as usual and had some good banter with the support act. Gorman comes on and isn't particularly funny. He then starts telling a joke about blind people despite there being a blind lass sat on the table next to us right in front of him. My mate stops him and says, "Do you mind mate, theres a blind lass sat just there". Gorman takes offence to this and gives a shitty response. Paul just tells him to fuck off pointing out that he isn't funny. He then tries telling a few more jokes, each time thinking he's being clever by asking my mate if its okay to tell a joke about toasters in case there are any in the room etc but he's already lost the crowd who think he's a complete cunt and he eventually just calls the crowd shit and fucks off stage which is the only time he got an applause all evening. Sadly my mate Simon missed all the excitement as he'd stormed off in a huff earlier in the evening as we were taking the piss out of him for not knowing what cunnilingus was. Not really relevant but it still makes me laugh. Was he away licking his wounds ? twosmoke300, Cavcraft, Roobarb and 3 others 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HillmanImp Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 Just now, omegod said: Was he away licking his wounds ? Well he wouldn't know how to lick someone else's would he. davehedgehog31, Jamie, The Moog and 4 others 2 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamworthbay Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 Three parcels due to day for daughters birthday, two damaged, the third listed as missed delivery by lying cunts parcelfarce, oddly it went from ‘in depot’ to ‘returned to depot’ without going to ‘out for delivery’. Fucking wankers. Will have to rearrange Wednesday now. Bastards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iainrcz Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Had a fantastic weekend.Dragged myself to work on Friday and Saturday, felt like hammered shit.12 hours on your feet in a noisy factory is not much fun when you're ill. Well, maybe if I was one of those sort who can get away with doing sod all..Sunday I rang in sick, spent the day in bed with a blocked nose, headache and coughing my guts up.Same with Monday.Feel a bit better today, at least I'm not aching like fuck. Still coughing though, which has given me a sore throat and back ache.There is an upside though. Strangely I'm sleeping like a log, which considering my brain likes to keep me awake most nights is a nice change.Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeR Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Prescription charge exempt now valid for the next five years ... I am well in the system .. all I need now is the scar .... to show to some cunt who is having an off day and thinks I am swinging it . New POD 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrumpiusMaximus Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Why are people that a gainfully employed and presumably competent so bloody useless with anything computer-related?! HarmonicCheeseburger and Kiltox 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New POD Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 16 minutes ago, MikeR said: Prescription charge exempt now valid for the next five years ... I am well in the system .. all I need now is the scar .... to show to some cunt who is having an off day and thinks I am swinging it . I'd like for the free prescriptions, if it were not for the reason. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New POD Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 3 minutes ago, GrumpiusMaximus said: Why are people that a gainfully employed and presumably competent so bloody useless with anything computer-related?! Lack of available training? Why is it just because I can write* a some macro in excel, that you think I can link to the office printer? *record Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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