flat4alfa Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 On 9/22/2019 at 10:34 PM, gm said: got stopped for driving like a c**k, 3 points and £100 fine It could easily have been 6 points and Undue Care stamped on your licence so they let you off really Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flat4alfa Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 2 hours ago, barefoot said: I've been watching a repeat of the first series of Charlie's Angels - 1970's jiggle TV at it's very finest. My grump is of course Madonna. Until she came along, no-one wore a bra & if they did it was hidden & you spent ages working out if there was an undergarment involved or if they really were that perky. Then fucking Madonna turns up and every fucker is wearing underwear as outerwear. Progress my arse. Before Madonna we had Melvyn Hayes though 'Meet the gang cause the boys are here' barefoot 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tadhg Tiogar Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 2 hours ago, barefoot said: ....My grump is of course Madonna. Until she came along, no-one wore a bra & if they did it was hidden & you spent ages working out if there was an undergarment involved or if they really were that perky. Then fucking Madonna turns up and every fucker is wearing underwear as outerwear. Progress my arse. 1 minute ago, flat4alfa said: Before Madonna we had Melvyn Hayes though 'Meet the gang cause the boys are here' flat4alfa, sheffcortinacentre, Cavcraft and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TataBobu Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 2 hours ago, barefoot said: Then fucking Madonna turns up and every fucker is wearing underwear as outerwear. I blame Superman for that. Alanism, hairnet and The Moog 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wack Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 On 9/22/2019 at 10:42 AM, omegod said: I got absolutely savaged by mossies in Tunisia last week, 30 + bites, no repellent made a difference but luckily I had antihistamines aplenty which saved the holiday, one poor bugger had 200 ish bites 20 years ago we went to Cyprus , went up in the mountains, stopped at the viewing area and it was like lunch has arrived, they were everywhere, gave up, drove a mile , got out, not one to be seen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garythesnail Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 5 hours ago, GrumpiusMaximus said: Serving out my notice at work. Everything I do is tinged with the conclusion that it's utterly fucking pointless... Get used to the fact that any and all fuck-ups that come to light in the next 12 months will all be your fault because you were useless*. Cavcraft, twosmoke300, myglaren and 2 others 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
155V6 Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 A woman came into work today,just after going on a speed awareness course.Obviously she hadn't been listening properly,because apparently,all vans are only allowed to do 60 on dual carriageways and motorways.This includes any car-based van,& any type of campervan ? myglaren 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorfolkNWeigh Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 12 minutes ago, 155V6 said: A woman came into work today,just after going on a speed awareness course.Obviously she hadn't been listening properly,because apparently,all vans are only allowed to do 60 on dual carriageways and motorways.This includes any car-based van,& any type of campervan ? That she wasn't listening is a distinct possibility, but it could be that patronising old git that last patrolled a motorway when he was driving a Wolesley 6/110 or his oppo, invariably an Advanced** driving instructor , spouted this shit to her. some of the crap these people come out with ( magnetic sensors that can identify individual cars ,every 100 m on every bit of Smart motorway ,that automatically set the overhead signs, for instance) beggars belief . I'm sure the only reason the twat on my ' Motorway Awareness' course got the job was because he worked for free, just so he could preach bollocks like he did when he had a uniform. robinmasters, catsinthewelder, myglaren and 1 other 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Sterling Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 5 hours ago, Lord Sterling said: FFS! I suppose I've had it easy with my journey to my old place of work which consisted of long fast roads and a motorway journey. Travelling into Birmingham today was an absolute NIGHTMARE. It at the best of times but when a spot of rain appears, everyone seems to suddenly get scared and jump in the car clogging up the roads even more. Inevitably, there is always someone who doesn't know how to drive on the wet causing an accident and thus tailbacks. Half of my journey into work consisted of back roads and even then I was 10 mins late. Mind you, only one person was in on time and the rest had major problems on the trains so I was the second one in! ? Didn't realise that Birmingham was being turned into Venice with amount of rain that had fallen this morning. So...er...hmmm. ? myglaren 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noel Tidybeard Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 On 9/23/2019 at 5:05 AM, dozeydustman said: I would like to know where 3 fucking bog rolls have disappeared to overnight. Got a 4 pack yesterday on way home, half a sodding roll left. wimmin stonedagain 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mally Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 1 hour ago, 155V6 said: A woman came into work today,just after going on a speed awareness course.Obviously she hadn't been listening properly,because apparently,all vans are only allowed to do 60 on dual carriageways and motorways.This includes any car-based van,& any type of campervan ? Have also been on a course and she is partially correct. Vans can do 50 on single carriageways. 60 on Dual carriageways as she said, and 70 on motorways unless towing a trailer. Some types of car based vans are exempt. They tell you correct information, but there's a lot of it to absorb. timolloyd 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puddlethumper Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 Bloody Tesco self checkout, I only have a basket with about ten items, coz I'm single and, not particularly, sad, and every time it stops and tells me help is on the way. Everything was beeping through nicely up to then. Wait for help. Three items later the same shit. The other crap bit about these machines is that when I put my banananas on the scale, coz I do like a nana, it tells me to pick my favourite or have a browse. HAVE A FUCKIN BROWSE ??? Oh yeah, I'll have a browse and hold up the queue while I go off to the fruit and veg to get something that I missed when in the fruit and veg part earlier. I'm checking out FFS. GrumpiusMaximus 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymous user Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 I no longer use the self scan after my last argument with one. I'm pleased that the bossy, condescending ones have now gone from my local B and Q. The Tesco one tried to charge me twice for something. I had scanned it and put it in the "bagging area" the bloody thing kept telling me to place item in bagging area, I told it that I already had and it kept on at me, so I told it "look, I'll get it back again" and as soon as I showed it the item,"look here it is" it scanned it again, bastard thing. GrumpiusMaximus and Yoss 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omegod Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 A" Friend " of mine buys his Sunday newspaper and substitutes the spaffy tv mag for any greeting cards he needs for upcoming occasions,self scanning saves himself a fortune he says Cavcraft, paulplom, stonedagain and 1 other 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spiny Norman Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 28 minutes ago, anonymous user said: I no longer use the self scan after my last argument with one. I'm pleased that the bossy, condescending ones have now gone from my local B and Q. In our local B&Q the bossy, condescending ones have just been re-assigned to the returns desk. Oh, wait... you mean the actual electronic tills? No they're gone for good. anonymous user, McFudge, timolloyd and 2 others 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supernaut Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 I don't go to Morrison's much, but I was in one this morning, and the self-scan there was probably the worst I've experienced so far. "Surprise item in bagging area!" No, I scanned that and put it there. You have it listed on the screen. "Surprise item in bagging area!" What? What is it?! "Surprise item in bagging area!" [lifts one of his still-empty shopping bags] [silence from the machine] [puts empty hessian bag bag] "Surprise item in bagging area!" FFS. I already did the whole "I brought my own bags" thing and put them there for you to register them before continuing... [puts loose items in bagging area then bags them up afterwards] puddlethumper 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myglaren Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 Just been listening to Alice Sarah Ott play Beethoven's third pianoconcerto and see she has said that she has MS. Wonderful pianist and a beautiful and elegant woman. Damned shame if she is unable to continue playing. Only 31 years old too. If the full concerto is a bit much, try Fūr Elise from 42' 42". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iainrcz Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 My mum is back in hospital. She has Multiple Myeloma. She's already been through breast cancer, and I wish I could give her just one day off from it all. Fumbler, Cavcraft and Saabnut 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtriple Posted September 25, 2019 Share Posted September 25, 2019 Never use self scans. They are just another way of getting rid of staff. High Jetter, Alex66, Cavcraft and 7 others 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stonedagain Posted September 25, 2019 Share Posted September 25, 2019 1 minute ago, xtriple said: Never use self scans. They are just another way of getting rid of staff. That's why I flatly refuse to use them! GrumpiusMaximus 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex66 Posted September 25, 2019 Share Posted September 25, 2019 1 hour ago, xtriple said: Never use self scans. They are just another way of getting rid of staff. Never use them on principle as you said it is a sly way of putting people out of work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iainrcz Posted September 25, 2019 Share Posted September 25, 2019 We never use the self scans.Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barefoot Posted September 25, 2019 Share Posted September 25, 2019 20 hours ago, Spiny Norman said: In our local B&Q ... Oh, wait... you mean the actual electronic tills? No they're gone for good. Have they really? & do you have any idea why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spiny Norman Posted September 25, 2019 Share Posted September 25, 2019 In our store, yes. The through-put of customers bewildered and befuddled by their shenanigans and the staff required to guide them through the procedure was less efficient than having someone on £8.50 an hour on an actual check out. I never use them either, partly because I can never get the bloody things to work, also being Glaswegian half my weekly shop is booze which always requires someone to check you through anyway. GrumpiusMaximus 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted September 25, 2019 Share Posted September 25, 2019 My daughter backed into someone's van before, literally just touched bumpers. No damage (agreed by both sides) and in a private car park. She rang her insurance 'just in case' and the shitty bastards said she'll lose her no claims. She (or the van owner) hasn't even made a claim, FFS. myglaren and Tamworthbay 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puddlethumper Posted September 25, 2019 Share Posted September 25, 2019 20 hours ago, Supernaut said: I don't go to Morrison's much, but I was in one this morning, and the self-scan there was probably the worst I've experienced so far. "Surprise item in bagging area!" No, I scanned that and put it there. You have it listed on the screen. "Surprise item in bagging area!" What? What is it?! "Surprise item in bagging area!" [lifts one of his still-empty shopping bags] [silence from the machine] [puts empty hessian bag bag] "Surprise item in bagging area!" FFS. I already did the whole "I brought my own bags" thing and put them there for you to register them before continuing... [puts loose items in bagging area then bags them up afterwards] I carry a small back pack and the furkin machine doesn't recognise anything weighing more than a plastic bag. After paying I put my bag on the scale and start putting stuff in. Then it's continuous 'please check the bagging area'. I've paid. What the fuck does it matter what's in the bagging area ! B&Q have got rid of them here, thank god. Hateful things but waiting in the queue at a till while several people are buying, seemingly, enough for the last supper and a wake for an A list twat, I haven't got the patience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulgalour Posted September 25, 2019 Share Posted September 25, 2019 Has the engine shop called me to say the Princess head job is done today like they promised on Monday? Have they? Of course they haven't. This either means getting an early call tomorrow saying it's done and apologies for the delay (unlikely), or I'll turn up and they'll try and get more time out of me to complete the job. I think two months is plenty of time to insert a pipe into a hole, I begin to think I would've been better off trying to do it myself at this point. Oh, and the BX is letting water in on the passenger side somewhere that isn't the windscreen, it seems to be coming through the passenger door somehow, I just can't figure out how. The recent downpour highlighted the issue, not a serious one, but still annoying. I hate water ingress, it's always a palaver to locate. myglaren 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richardmorris Posted September 25, 2019 Share Posted September 25, 2019 43 minutes ago, vulgalour said: Has the engine shop called me to say the Princess head job is done today like they promised on Monday? Have they? Of course they haven't. This either means getting an early call tomorrow saying it's done and apologies for the delay (unlikely), or I'll turn up and they'll try and get more time out of me to complete the job. I think two months is plenty of time to insert a pipe into a hole, I begin to think I would've been better off trying to do it myself at this point. Oh, and the BX is letting water in on the passenger side somewhere that isn't the windscreen, it seems to be coming through the passenger door somehow, I just can't figure out how. The recent downpour highlighted the issue, not a serious one, but still annoying. I hate water ingress, it's always a palaver to locate. Re the BX . Check the door plastic sheet membrane thing behind the speaker panel. It should be a water proof layer if it’s like the cx. But may be broken or cut away for bigger speakers. vulgalour and myglaren 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New POD Posted September 25, 2019 Share Posted September 25, 2019 My current grump is that I am knackered. Emotionally and physically. Monday I drove to Stoke at 5:30 am, did a days work, and drove home. Shattered. After tea* I said something in the wrong tone and wife went off on one and stormed upstairs. Now, this isn't unusual and it is to be expected because the reason I've come home on a Monday night is to go with her to a hospital appointment, on Tuesday, so i just keep out of the way. Tuesday morning comes and i awake too fucking early because my alarm is set for 5am. At 7:30 I wake my wife up with a bacon bitty and tea and leave to meet the gas man at our rental property, about 5 miles away. I leave there at 8:30 And drive home and at 9:15 We leave for the hospital. I drop her off at the main entrance and then drive around the multi-storey looking for a space. I find the last space on the top floor in the pissing rain. And then walk through the hospital. Managed to get there in time to go in with her. It's not bad news. Afterwards We go to Liverpool to an antique shop and then wonder around for hours looking for shite to send to my American nephews and nieces for Christmas. Despite her having chronic fatigue she refuses to stop for a cup of tea even. When we eventually buy all the shite, she demands that I have a plan for the rest of the day. It's now about 2pm. I last had anything to eat or drink at 5:15 am. I'm proper stressed by the whole day so far. All the shit she's giving me is the stress from.dealing with the hospital appointment so im trying not to bite back. I say the only plan I have is tea and cake. Now. Eventually we agree that this can be the plan, and we can decide after that how I make her life better. Anyway we ended up buying tickets for a musical, going to next and buying her a dress, having Tea* in a Greek taverna, and then watching Motown. Eventually got home at 11pm and apparently I'm no longer the worst husband in the world. Got up at 5 am and drove to Stoke. Booked Omega in for MOT for Friday. I won't have any time to fix it. None. I'm now alone in Uttoxeter. I'm fucking knackered. *tea. A northern term for Dinner. paulplom and myglaren 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garythesnail Posted September 25, 2019 Share Posted September 25, 2019 One day, I hope to be as successful as you at husbanding. Sounds like she has a good one. 1 hour ago, New POD said: I'm no longer the worst husband in the world On the lighter side - PG Tips one cup tea bags. They really aren't. paulplom 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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