Lankytim Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 There's a strip of grass on our shared driveway and a mystery local dog walker is allowing their pooch to shit all over it and doesn't pick it up. I've been trying to find out who it is but with no luck, I guess if anyone is out and about on the shared driveway the dog walker doesn't let their dog crap on the grass maybe. Popped out for 30 mins, come back and there's another huge pile of shite for me to clean up. The phantom shitter has struck again. When I find out who is is can I rub the owners nose in it? follow them home, tie the turd to a brick and throw it through their living room window? Should I just accept it and clean up after them forever? robinmasters and Dick Longbridge 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiC Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 And this is why I don't have an expensive car in Bristol. The white mark and the crease above it can only be from another (white) car door hitting it with some force. FFS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somewhatfoolish Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 There's a strip of grass on our shared driveway and a mystery local dog walker is allowing their pooch to shit all over it and doesn't pick it up. I've been trying to find out who it is but with no luck, I guess if anyone is out and about on the shared driveway the dog walker doesn't let their dog crap on the grass maybe. Popped out for 30 mins, come back and there's another huge pile of shite for me to clean up. The phantom shitter has struck again. When I find out who is is can I rub the owners nose in it? follow them home, tie the turd to a brick and throw it through their living room window? Should I just accept it and clean up after them forever?Assuming you can identify the miscreant, lay in a supply of ziplock bags and envelopes and post the shite back to them without stamps. privatewire, robinmasters and sheffcortinacentre 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercrocker Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Put up a notice to the effect that CCTV is monitoring the area from several locations and that once identified the culprit will be covertly followed and the offending dog shit smeared across their front step. treehugger and Dick Longbridge 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirton Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Fake camera and notice for about £15 may solve the problem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lankytim Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 I guess a real camera isn't much more expensive... although the neighbours put up a camera while back and took it down because the amount of odd goings on really scared them.. their thinking was that if they didn't know it didn't matter. myglaren 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssDeeWon Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Fckin nosey old curtain twitchers rant. I moved to a new house late last year in a nice area, the house itself is down a private cul-de-sac with limited parking, the landlord has both his car and van on the drive so I have to leave the car on the public side road at the end of the cul-de-sac. This is a quiet dead end road with mostly bungalows and old/older people, its a very quiet area and the road is 80% empty as they all have driveways. Before christmas I had an old boy moan about the car being parked outside his house even though he has a drive and doesn't park on the road, he later apologised one day and went on to pay compliments to the Rover so I tend to stick to this place now, I also had some clever dick leaving one of the wiper arms up and I think it was some bloke across the road so a polite but stern note went in the side window advising this person the car is taxed, Mot'd so politely keep your grubby hands off my car, and that stopped... This week I moved the car to a different space outside a different house with two elderly people (seen them a couple of times) with an old transit camper on their drive but have no car and there is never a car outside this house. Last night I came home to a note on the car saying not to park here if I don't live down this road. I had been to the pub (walked home) and was close to reversing the car through their front wall after being pee'd off with all this bollox, instead thought better and stayed on the right side of the law, posted the notices in the side windows confirming the cars current tax and mot and left it. The only reason I moved it there for a few days was because the neighbour further down where I usually park was having loads of work done and I didn't want the car in their way, what with lorries and trucks delivering soil / stones etc... This kind of petty 'we own the road outside our house' attitude has pi$$ed me off this time, nosey old curtain twitchers that NEVER EVEN PARK ON THE ROAD ffs, because they have driveways. Another neighbour I noticed was quickly moving one of his cars off the drive to park outside his house after I moved my car before only to then to put his car back on the drive again, just so I couldn't come back and park there. Pathetic really.. To confirm this is a wide straight side road, a public road with no parking restrictions, not parked over or near anyone's driveway entrance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angle Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Do people who can’t park have kids just so they use the parent/toddler spaces? judging by the parking at Asda I think the answer is yes.At my local Asda you have: Store Row of disabled spaces Row of parent and child spaces Rest of car park I was there at the weekend, and as I unlocked the car, a guy (on his own, 30-ish) in a Polo parked across an empty disabled space a few metres down from me and stuck his hazards on. He waited while I put a full trolley of shopping in the boot, got my son in his seat (which involves trying to pin him down, going round to the other side of the car to where he's run away to and then giving up and bribing him with CBeebies), picked some music to put on and adjusted my seat, all of which I did as slowly as possible. I reckon I was there an easy five minutes, and he took the space as I left. All of the while, there was an empty standard space directly in front of me... Tamworthbay and myglaren 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorfolkNWeigh Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Booked a rental for the weekend because the Passat Has gone limp again- it'll wind itself up to 80/90 eventually but slip roads are a bit hair raising and I've got a couple of trips to Southampton one to B'ham and a couple to London over the weekend so £120 for " Isignia or similar" isn't too bad and at least I won't get stressed on the A34 hills.Enterprise picked me up and took me to the office, where they tried to give me A FUCKIING QASHQAI ! On what planet is this similar to an Insignia ? If I'd wanted an OAPNationalTrustMotorbility wagon, I'd have ticked that box and saved £3 a day. I specifically asked on the phone for a normal saloon or estate.Just about to fill the Passat up- who needs to speed everywhere anyway and I've saved £120. Rusty_Rocket 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheggers Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 There's a strip of grass on our shared driveway and a mystery local dog walker is allowing their pooch to shit all over it and doesn't pick it up. I've been trying to find out who it is but with no luck, I guess if anyone is out and about on the shared driveway the dog walker doesn't let their dog crap on the grass maybe. Popped out for 30 mins, come back and there's another huge pile of shite for me to clean up. The phantom shitter has struck again. When I find out who is is can I rub the owners nose in it? follow them home, tie the turd to a brick and throw it through their living room window? Should I just accept it and clean up after them forever?Fox, deer or some other wild animal maybe? Cavcraft 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
primeradoner Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 There's a strip of grass on our shared driveway and a mystery local dog walker is allowing their pooch to shit all over it and doesn't pick it up. I've been trying to find out who it is but with no luck, I guess if anyone is out and about on the shared driveway the dog walker doesn't let their dog crap on the grass maybe. Popped out for 30 mins, come back and there's another huge pile of shite for me to clean up. The phantom shitter has struck again. When I find out who is is can I rub the owners nose in it? follow them home, tie the turd to a brick and throw it through their living room window? Should I just accept it and clean up after them forever?If you find out who it is, spray the turd with plumbers pipe freeze spray. This will enable you to slide it harmlessly onto a piece of cardboard which can then be posted through the offenders letterbox. Their central heating will do the rest. Cavcraft, loserone, Tickman and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supernaut Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 I have a mouth ulcer. Right down at the bottom, in front of my front teeth. Ooooow. I'll go past the pharmacy after work, methinks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamworthbay Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 If you find out who it is, spray the turd with plumbers pipe freeze spray. This will enable you to slide it harmlessly onto a piece of cardboard which can then be posted through the offenders letterbox. Their central heating will do the rest.Of place in paper bag and put doorstep then set fire to it and ring the bell. Then watch as they put out the fire with their foot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dozeydustman Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 https://www.thebreeze.com/northdorset/news/local-news/chichester-tip-fire-to-burn-for-a-number-of-days/ The fumes given off from this over the last couple of days has mad me really ill, especially as our depot is next door and still operating. They won't extinguish it just in case the run-off goes into a water course. Chi is covered with smog at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barefoot Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 There was a bloke kept putting his bagged turds in my wheelie bin, it amused me a little, but one evening I happened to see him do it from the bedroom window. The next day I wrote out a bit of a sign which read, 'BLOKE WITH BLACK TOY POODLE - TAKE YOUR SHIT HOME'. I taped it to the bin & it stayed there until the weather took it off. I never had another bag of his shit in the bin again. Supernaut, Lankytim, Pieman and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conan Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 I always find it annoying when somebody is perpetuating a very obviously false facts about very well known and easily researched information. Yet people are believing them to be true because they didn't know any better. There's a Youtube video on a certain gaming channel about a particular model of car. Lotus Carlton, to be specific. And this one guy is saying that the car has seen police duty back in the day, as an estate variant too, along with the RS500 Cosworth Sierra. I replied to him that this is all bullshit. This guy replied back a wall of text saying how he know people who have them and plenty of pictures of those cars are available and very easy to find. I found jack fucking shit. Because they don't fucking exist. I don't have enough energy to reply to this guy. In fact, what did I expect from wandering into Youtube comment section anyway? I am grumpy about this because I can't avoid it. I love seeing the train-wreck that is the YT comment section too much. mrbenn, HillmanImp and The Moog 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMC Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Fckin nosey old curtain twitchers rant. I moved to a new house late last year in a nice area, the house itself is down a private cul-de-sac with limited parking, the landlord has both his car and van on the drive so I have to leave the car on the public side road at the end of the cul-de-sac. This is a quiet dead end road with mostly bungalows and old/older people, its a very quiet area and the road is 80% empty as they all have driveways. Before christmas I had an old boy moan about the car being parked outside his house even though he has a drive and doesn't park on the road, he later apologised one day and went on to pay compliments to the Rover so I tend to stick to this place now, I also had some clever dick leaving one of the wiper arms up and I think it was some bloke across the road so a polite but stern note went in the side window advising this person the car is taxed, Mot'd so politely keep your grubby hands off my car, and that stopped... This week I moved the car to a different space outside a different house with two elderly people (seen them a couple of times) with an old transit camper on their drive but have no car and there is never a car outside this house. Last night I came home to a note on the car saying not to park here if I don't live down this road. I had been to the pub (walked home) and was close to reversing the car through their front wall after being pee'd off with all this bollox, instead thought better and stayed on the right side of the law, posted the notices in the side windows confirming the cars current tax and mot and left it. The only reason I moved it there for a few days was because the neighbour further down where I usually park was having loads of work done and I didn't want the car in their way, what with lorries and trucks delivering soil / stones etc... This kind of petty 'we own the road outside our house' attitude has pi$$ed me off this time, nosey old curtain twitchers that NEVER EVEN PARK ON THE ROAD ffs, because they have driveways. Another neighbour I noticed was quickly moving one of his cars off the drive to park outside his house after I moved my car before only to then to put his car back on the drive again, just so I couldn't come back and park there. Pathetic really.. To confirm this is a wide straight side road, a public road with no parking restrictions, not parked over or near anyone's driveway entrance.Cretins. I’d deliberately buy an eyesore and park it there. Permenantly. Angrydicky, mrbenn, EssDeeWon and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Longbridge Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Just had a quick look at the other place, and have reminded myself why I don't bother with it. They're still bitching. HillmanImp, robinmasters, mercrocker and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twosmoke300 Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 I’d actually forgotten about it Cavcraft, mercrocker, Dick Longbridge and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sealtainn Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Sorry, I clearly missed all this hoo-haw whilst I was away. What is this other place of which you speak? Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssDeeWon Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Cretins. I’d deliberately buy an eyesore and park it there. Permenantly. Good idea. I was thinking a new Aldi Q3 or a Nissan Cashkay. HMC, Supernaut, Tickman and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HillmanImp Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Porsche GB promises that their annual membership will never cost more than a tank of fuel - it's not cheap - and it's full of dick cheese folk that just make you want to sell the car.Anyway, price from Porsche Nottingham £54.87 + vat I ended up ordering one of these the other day. I originally ordered a LHD one as I'm a dick but then noticed and ordered the correct one. However it's coming from Germany so won't be here till Tuesday. I'm paying for it with my new Barclaycard 27 month purchases card. I'll also buy the knackered control arm and the wing bottoms and whatever else I need to get this car sorted. However, I'm not sure if I'm gonna keep it. It's just not working out as a daily just yet. I use Meg the Visa more as it's just a lot easier to jump into and drive somewhere. Every time I get into the Porsche something else breaks. It might not be a big problem but the boot won't shut, the door trims fallen off, the battery is flat, the windscreen wipers knackered and this week the throttle cables stuck. This is on top of the things I knew were wrong with it when I got it that I need to sort. I just don't think it's been used much over the last few years and understandably I'm picking up the pieces. It's all little things but I don't have time like I used to. I'll see how I feel in a couple of months when I've ironed out all the kinks as it's fun to hoon, looks smart and Imp junior fucking loves it with it's 'magic' lights (although he thinks the folding front seat to get in the back is also magic - he is only 3). Plus of course I can fit bikes in the back, not that I've actually gone mountain biking with it yet, every weekend is either life or trying to sort out one of my many broken cars...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hairnet Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Cretins. I’d deliberately buy an eyesore and park it there. Permenantly.yeah make it clear to them the road outside their house mortgage or not isnt theirs and never will be The Moog, EssDeeWon and myglaren 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiC Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 every weekend is either life or trying to sort out one of my many broken cars......Living the dream! The Moog and Sigmund Fraud 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiltox Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Admiral just quoted £197 to insure the i10 with my other half as the policyholder / main driver - provisional license holder. Me as a named driver. It’d be 2-3x that with me as the policyholder! purplebargeken 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Saturday tomorrow and not going on the piss. What an absolute and utter waste of a weekend. Amishtat, GrumpiusMaximus, Vin and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercrocker Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Fucking hell Mr Craft, I share your pain at that one. Not only a waste of a weekend it's a waste of the preceding 5 days too. Cavcraft 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clayts450 Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 FFS - not mine, but why the actual fuck would you steal a Streetwise - bastards. Stolen from Leicester yesterday evening. Owner is gutted - posted on Rover 25/200/Streetwise Facefart group Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moog Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Admiral just quoted £197 to insure the i10 with my other half as the policyholder / main driver - provisional license holder. Me as a named driver. It’d be 2-3x that with me as the policyholder!Sadly this shoots up once passed test. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplebargeken Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Feel bored, irritable, struggling to focus on the bloody cars again. Bored. Getting fed up of this shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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