The grumpy thread

[DeeJay]

Wife went to my mothers in the car with the dog (about 100 yards away). Took dog for a walk and came straight home. Then phoned police as car wasn't outside ours and therefore had been stolen.

10 years ago and still take the piss out of her over that (both drving to my mothers and forgetting she had).

[320touring]

*specific states in communications to eBay seller " my car is a ph1 Clio 172, reg number y*** ***, it has the square headlamp as and was built at the crossover between ph1 and 2, are you sure this is the correct driveshaft?"*

 

eBay seller -

 

Go to fit it today..

 

 

For Fucks Sake!

[MikeR]

they had drive shafts with the tripod bearings  like that on the Fiats years ago  , it was bearing roulette if the pins fell out into the gearbox when taking an old shaft out  , the nearside gearbox gaiter would always be splitting ......

[richardmorris]

Well it could be a moot point now- my dads just rung to tell me Allan’s been taken into hospital by ambulance ( I think he has loyalty points with them now). Collapsed at home with very low blood pressure.

[MikeR]

FFS could they not take the old bin base away !!!

 

[alcyonecorporation]

Cycling event on in my local area.

 

99 per cent of entrants were well behaved. However, that last one percent - the lycra clad heroes who insisted on cycling on the opposite side of the road to make a point - can just fuck off.

 

They're not closed roads. They're still open to the public and you don't own them, so fuck off mouthing abuse at me when all I'm trying to do is [slowly] get to my mate's house in the sticks in the opposite direction. Why are you cycling head on into traffic? Do you have a death wish? The kids on knackered fourth hand pushbikes are faster than you anyway, you stupid, clueless cumfart. Everyone else is just getting on with it.

 

Tell you what, I'll go and bolt some Group A slicks to my Impreza and take every bend of 'your' course flat out on the racing line with my fogs blazing, using all the road. Got a car that's a bit like a rally car, might as well use it.

 

Want to fuck off out of my way? That's about as fair, no?

 

Difference is that I'm not a selfish cunt, so I won't entertain it.

[SiC]

Tell you what, I'll go and bolt some Group A slicks to my Impreza and take every bend of 'your' course flat out using the racing line with my fogs blazing, using all the road. Got a car that's a bit like a rally car, might as well use it.

 

Want to fuck off out of my way? That's about as fair as what you were doing.

 

Difference is that I'm not a selfish cunt, so I won't entertain it.

Most adult cyclists have a driving license too. The cyclist being a knob on the road probably also has a BMW/Impreza/Audi/etc and drives like he cycles too.

[dome]

Tried to install the replacement engine in the Corsa today without success. Most of the weight of the engine is at the back but it needs to be positioned leaning forward 30 degrees. My load leveller only moves left to right so it was useless.

 

Ive also had a dodgy forearm for about 2 weeks now after torquing the flywheel bolts whilst standing at an awkward angle due to limited space. My grip is almost totally gone, couldnae snap a wet fag. After today its completely fucked, really sore and could barely lift my lunch.

 

So I have closed the garage door, again, and I am off out with my wife and son to the park.

Give me a shout if you want a hand one night, I'm not far away.

 

Apart from Monday, I'm attempting to drive a fucked auris home.

And Tuesday, I'll be cycling.

And Wednesday, cos I'll be out for dinner with some fine* upstanding* people*

But Thursday, Thursday could work!

[Split_Pin]

Cheers Brian, I shall also be joining the upstanding* people on Weds!

 

My arm is u/s atm, can only just change gear!

[Talbot]

Today's Grump:

 

Fucking Santander.

 

an hour and a bastard half sitting in their poxy branch, just trying to understand why they have charged the better part of £200 for an unauthorised overdraft that we told them explicitly when the account was opened we did not want them to provide. If the account does not have sufficient funds, I do not want you to pay the amount and then arse-rape me for charges, just don't pay it.

 

So of course they've paid it. And charged a bastard fortune for doing so. And tried to justify it. Turns out that this is not the first time.. the account has gone overdrawn by less than £3 a couple of times, and they have charged a bastard fortune every time.

 

So I lost my shit and told them they can shove the account. Close it. Don't want it. 20 minutes later they have refunded the charge, and so there is some cash available. Fine. 20 more minutes for the woman to be on the phone because she can't work out how to close the account, turns out there are MORE bloody charges to take off. Fine, just bloody do it and get this account closed. I've had enough now.

 

Taken so long now the branch is now closed. Go up to the teller to get the pittance of cash back from the account, and the lady behind the till (who appears to be the only competent person in the entire branch) discoveres there are YET MORE charges to come out, so the account can't be closed right now. I properly lose my shit this time, and we all just walk out before I am extremely rude to someone.

 

The entire time my two smalls have been bored to tears, my wife cannot leave as she keeps having to be asked if she agrees with me, despite her telling the staff that I can deal with this without referring to her.. they say they can't do that!

 

Santander. You are shit. An Utter Utter steaming pile of horse-manure.

 

So now I *still* have to go back again to actually get the damn account closed, before they decide they're going to apply more charges, which will put the account overdrawn again, and incurr EVEN MORE bastard charges.

 

FRO.

[Des]

Easiest way to close a bank account is to ask what your balance is, ask to withdraw that amount and advise of an address change, maybe if you look up an Argos in Slough or somewhere for inspiration there'll be a catalogue response to any future bank correspondence.

[vulgalour]

Recently ordered what should have been a NOS speedo cable for the Princess.  It arrived today (Sunday delivery!  There's a rarity) and I open the box to find a used cable broken in exactly the same way as the one it's supposed to replace and very clear signs of use and fitting on what should be an unused item.  OH WELL.  Hoping the refund process is pain free and it's a genuine mistake.  The only other ones I'm finding at the moment are photographed to hide the  tang that breaks off, which makes me suspicious, or they're First Line listings with a diagram, which I don't really trust to be what they say they are, or even in stock.

[dozeydustman]

Spent most of last night at hospital due to missus Moog having suspected heart attack (it wasn't)

 

But honestly the state of the hospital is scary.

 

Patients in trolleys line the corridors everywhere which cant be right. The staff do their best, but it is obvious that more money needs to go into the NHS urgently or we will lose something amazing.

 

That plus sod all sleep means grumpy Moog today.

 

 

The NHS is a case of too many chiefs and not enough Indians combined with (quite often) unrealistic patient targets. My sister-in-law is a physiotherapist specialising in post operation rehab, and gets frustrated that her patients are being discharged (more often than not) in no fit state to go home because the managers tell her they won't hit their patient recovery target.

 

She is on a team of 4 physios and answers to 1 consultant and 4 departmental heads (all from the same department) none of whom agree on best practice. Get rid of at least 2 heads of department, add another physio at the very least!

[Rocket88]

There's a fairly easy way to ease the pressure on the NHS..............stop inventing expensive ways of keeping people alive..................Dementia and Alzheimers has only become a so called epidemic, because years ago we did the decent thing, and died of something else before we succumbed to them

[Crispian_J_Hotson]

Oh darn...

 

Some things in life I just wasn't designed to do. Painting out of a can. Simple operation, plenty of prep in laboratory conditions, mindful that whatever I paint never goes right... Took loads of time, built a couple of coats up as per instructions, left overnight to go off and... Tacky. Had to take it all off... Threw the can in the bin, got some other paint off a shelf in the shed, shot it all over it and perfect... In minutes... Just not what colour I wanted, oh well.

 

I swear, if I took up being a graffiti artist then all my tags would simply fall off the wall.

[dozeydustman]

There's a fairly easy way to ease the pressure on the NHS..............stop inventing expensive ways of keeping people alive..................Dementia and Alzheimers has only become a so called epidemic, because years ago we did the decent thing, and died of something else before we succumbed to them

 

 

Having watched 2 of my grandparents suffer with dementia and then linger on bedridden for an extended period of time on pain relief (palliative care) I cannot see why euthanasia isn't legal when the point of no return is reached (with the next of kin's consent). We do it for our much loved pets when they are suffering (because it's humane), but it's murder if we put our long suffering family members to sleep.

[Parky]

Drove Parkettes friend home last night. Easy enough run on a fairly quiet A road.

 

Was overtaking a van when a Merc came up behind me and immediately gave me full beam, flashing his lights to get me to move- I'm alongside another vehicle mate, I can't go anywhere. Completed the move, slotted back onto the inside and he pulled alongside shouting his mouth off and giving me the finger. WTF was all that about? He took off like a scalded cat and must have gained nearly 20 metres before he encountered another vehicle who was being deliberately obstructive. That actually did make me laugh.

 

Ten minutes later i am in lane 3 out of four (lanes 1 and 2 are for a turn off). Again another Merc starts flashing me to move - despite lane 4 being clear. I stayed where I was, starting to wonder if something was falling off the car or if I was on fire. He flashed again but I didn't move. Eventually moves into lane four and drives past, no swearing this time. Again WTF?

[Magpie215]

Stuff about merc drivers being impatient

There does seem to be a lot af angry impatient motorists about.

Especially if they perceive you have held them up in someway for more than a fraction of a second.. ....try chilling out and be more of a patient motorist may find it makes everyone's drive a bit more tolerable.

[Bren]

Undertrays. Or rather the useless things that VW and audi use - cross between a screw and a drill bit.They should use cable ties instead.

[Guest 1an316]

Undertrays. Or rather the useless things that VW and audi use - cross between a screw and a drill bit.They should use cable ties instead.

It annoys the life out for me that they use two different size screws wtf is that about

[Timewaster]

Today's Grump:

 

Fucking Santander.

 

Santander. You are shit. An Utter Utter steaming pile of horse-manure.

 

FRO.

I've told this story before but...

 

When we got married, we were unfortunate enough to have a Satan dare mortgage.

 

Went into the branch to change my now wife's name and were repeatedly told to fill in a form, no that's the wrong form, we don't have the right form but you can download one, can't you download it here? No sorry sir we can't do that.

 

No that's the wrong form, you need this form - but that's the first form we filled in... No problem sir, we will download the right form for you..

 

This went on for days, back and forth to the branch with an unreasonable wait every time but the interesting thing was that EVERYONE who came in the branch while we were waiting was complaining about the shit service they had recieved and the total lack of competence at resolving issues.

 

Account closed.

[Parky]

I've told this story before but...

When we got married, we were unfortunate enough to have a Satan dare mortgage.

Went into the branch to change my now wife's name and were repeatedly told to fill in a form, no that's the wrong form, we don't have the right form but you can download one, can't you download it here? No sorry sir we can't do that.

No that's the wrong form, you need this form - but that's the first form we filled in... No problem sir, we will download the right form for you..

This went on for days, back and forth to the branch with an unreasonable wait every time but the interesting thing was that EVERYONE who came in the branch while we were waiting was complaining about the shit service they had recieved and the total lack of competence at resolving issues.

Account closed.

Closed mine with them shortly after they became Santander.

 

I collect up my change and keep it in a jar. I am sure many of us do. When the jar is full, I count up the coins, sort them into the little bags, and go and pay it in the branch. The conversation went like this:

 

"Hello, I have some change to pay in"

 

"How many bags?"

 

"Erm..17 I think. They are all counted out properly though"

 

Oh dear. This was too much for the lady behind the counter who insisted that for money laundering purposes she could only take five bags. Now as I was assistant to the Money Laundering officer at the place I worked at I politely asked which reg was the issue here? Dunno she said but the rules are the rules and its five bags at a time. I did ask whether international drug dealers and gun runners were now using small bags of change to launder their millions into the system but she didn't know that either. I clarified "so it's five bags a time yes?". This was confirmed.

 

So I paid in five bags and walked towards the door. The branch was empty so I turned around and queued again. The same lady called me to the till and I asked to pay in 12 bags. Nope, only five allowed. So in went another five. Repeated the process until all 17 were paid in to the same lady behind the counter.

 

Quick chat with the assistant manager saw my account closed although he too insisted that money laundering regs were designed to prevent ill gotten gains getting into the system and criminals were being very clever these days.

 

Dunno about you guys but if I had just picked up £100k in a drug deal, I wouldn't insist on payment in coins, would you?

[xtriple]

Just washed the Mazda (MOT tomorrow and every little helps     ) and it is bright and sunny. It is also cold enough to freeze the knackers off a brass monkey and my trainers leak so my feet are wet.

 

TL:DR I'm cold!

[SierraMikeHotel]

 

 

People are impatient

This keeps happening to me too. Is it really worth driving dangerously to save two seconds off your journey?

 

If you flash me and I don't move over, it's because there's a car in the inside lane...

 

I had someone recently get so annoyed that he brake tested me after I'd moved over - which I did the second it was safe to do so.

 

You've actually just tried to kill us all because you're a bit impatient. Twat.

[timolloyd]

Local traders in sign written vans who speed through the village centre are as good as shitting on their own doorstep

[dave21478]

Wibbly wobbly roly poly Freelander towing a van.... Can't get it to imbed so you'll have to click the link.

 

https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/falsegroundedlamb

 

At least the van got unloaded so you can just jump in and finish your journey.

 

Perfect example of why towing laws get enforced and its not the 70's any more when you could tow whatever the fuck you wanted with a Viva.

The Gland Rover has a 2 ton limit, thats a sturdy trailer so probs a ton on its own and there is no way that van weighs under a ton.

 

Its also a classic example of why "wheels under" style trailers are dogshit.....nothing like having the centre of gravity of your load at near enough five feet off the ground...plus its a fukkin high-top van with the wind-grabbing surface area of a house.

 

Verdict...surprised it didnt happen sooner.

 

 

Also add in that a lot of people seem to believe shite spouted by Clarkson and others about putting your foot down and powering out of it....thats the correct theory if you are driving an Overfinch towing a trailer full of polystyrene where it has the power to suddenly yank it straight, but in an average vehicle towing a heavy trailer it just means you get to have your accident a little bit sooner.

[RoadworkUK]

NL10NSX, A black Merc E-Class, was carving in and out of M25 traffic at 90+ last night.

 

Naturally, the number plate was bellendishly miss-spaced, too, to N LIONS X.

 

People like this should have to wear special identification tabards so you don't accidentally hold a door open for them on the high-street.

[Cavcraft]

I think it's great when people moan about cyclists, especially all that nonsense about not paying road tax. The more bad driving and the more people have a go, the more people will drive to work instead of cycle then the queues are longer for the moaning fuckers who've had to wait a nano-second before overtaking some fat bloke trying to keep fit.

[Parky]

I agree. People get the arse with cyclists, 99% of whom are usually doing nothing they shouldn't be doing! I would rather encounter cyclists than horses, at least you know the average cyclist isn't going to pop a wheelie onto your bonnet if a plastic bag blows across the road

[HillmanImp]

Feck, just looked at my bank account and noticed that the money for my lock up in Leeds hasn't been collected since last August. Just sprinted over there and checked it's not been cleared and it's okay and the garages have not been demolished for housing (which was on the cards a couple of years back). Mega PHEW!

 

I will ring them in the morning. They should have my most up to date address as I wrote to them when I moved in here a couple of years ago but have not heard owt from them which is odd. Suspect I might need to be clearing out of it which is a bummer at the mo as have no bloody room at the inn after losing another garage when I sold a house before Christmas.