Pillock Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Nowt wrong with a bog moan, work toilets are often grim. Of course when you're office is a train then you can play the one upmanship game. No matter how little respect colleagues have for facilities the general public will always top it. How these people are allowed to roam free in society I'll never know.I used to have to lock up an office/workshop building and check the bogs etc before leaving.The lasses loos were after far grimmer than the blokes. Not sure how. Less bogies etc but they seemed far happier to leave massive turds behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulgalour Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 I learned in my far-more-goth days in the later 90s early 00s that the only thing better in women's loos at a club was that the mirrors were usually intact. It was baffling the state the place was in just an hour or so after opening for the evening. What was I doing in the women's loos? I needed a mirror to fix my makeup. Because goth. And all the other guys were doing the same. And the women were okay with it. The gents and ladies signs seem to indicate where to find a mirror much more than which gender was in which room. M'coli, DodgeRover and eddyramrod 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise2cv Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Ladies bogs are the worst. It makes me ashamed to be female and question why anyone would call us the fairer sex. I do not know what drives people to behave the way they do and why on earth you would want to hang around in these grim poo stained places for anything more than a desperate wee, surely it takes time to break the seats and door locks off? Gross gross gross. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gordonbennet Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Ladies R vandals too?Never thought that would be the case, seriously. I ended up in the ladies at East Midland airport by mistake, when it was a smaller airport, just unloaded 10 rental cars and with me smock pockets bulging with keys shot off into the terminal to find the rental desk, desperate for a number two, as i go into the terminal utter joy theres the bog straight in front, dive in straight in a trap and utter relief.. Thought how nice the loo was and it smelled quite pleasant, then i spotted the dustbin beside the pan..uh oh, penny dropped, arrrgh.Sneaked out with me clip board and pen making notes about bugger all checking lights and fittings as i made me escape..nearly got away with it but a lovely lady was sitting on a bench outside and smiled knowingly at me but kept schtum, she was probably warming her hands on the heat from me face.Luckily no rozzers about, singed up at the rental desk imagining all sorts of scenarios, and made me escape sharpish. myglaren, privatewire, Stevebrookman and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OwdChina Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Same in the USA. I do use a lot of bars (surprise surprise) and the constant grumble with bar staff here is if they are the ones to lock up at night then part of the job is to tidy up and mop the bogs out etc. before leaving...... 95% of bar staff is women and the next day the rants and hissing and spitting about the state of the womens bogs is quite astounding...........(afternoon drinker me) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timewaster Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Strangely our local boozer has the most exquisite ladies loos.I think it was the only bit the landlords wife was allowed a opinion on when they refurbed. Big lit mirrors, posh light fittings and outlandish wallpaper. How do I know? Facebook is always full of pissed girls selfies on a Friday night. WHY TAKE PICTURES IN THE BOG?! Try that in the "gents" and expect to get pummeled! Louise2cv 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cort16 Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 They recon that once a company reaches around 70 staff you can expect one dirty protest every few years. Someone losing the plot and smearing shit all over the bog walls or taking a dump in the communal kitchen cutlery drawer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy18s Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Nowt wrong with a bog moan, work toilets are often grim. Of course when you're office is a train then you can play the one upmanship game. No matter how little respect colleagues have for facilities the general public will always top it. How these people are allowed to roam free in society I'll never know.As a welder I worked in a place where a new guy turned down his new job once he saw the facilities the shop floor usedNothing drastically bad but he took exception to the floater a kind soul had left behind.... BorniteIdentity and LostnotFound 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clayts450 Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 We had a phantom nose flicker in our office who'd leave his nose poos all over the walls. Funnily enough the bloke who used to send out emails advising us chaps not to do it left our employment and it stopped thereafter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 I honestly cannot even begin to think how much of an absolute wanker you'd have to be smear your excrement round toilet walls, etc. One of the girls at work had to clean a portacabin once after someone did that. I think if I caught someone doing it, I'd get some gloves then clean it up using their head as a mop. oldcars, clayts450, eddyramrod and 10 others 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplebargeken Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Shop bogs are the horror you can imagine. Flush the fucking toilets you cunts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Furious Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Bogs at work have no urinals, always thought it was a bit odd but recently discovered it’s so they are ‘gender neutral’ Way ahead of the curve us, bet identifying as a woman won’t wash when I get caught having a shit in the ladies. Again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omegod Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Bog stories: I used to work in a detox unit and we had a rather posh female in who decided to discharge herself, upon cleaning her room out she had also discharged the most exquisite coiled brown cobra in the waste paper basket, charming ! My workplace had someone who thought the wall surrounding the urinal was a bogie dartboard, turned out when a person of a certain faith, who loudly proclaimed to be living the cleanest, sin free life possible left, the darts stopped. My wife's work has always had a phantom shitter who leaves yule logs of unbelievable proportions, actually every work she has been in has the same, I wonder if it's actually her ? After 4 days on the lash in Cologne me and a mate both had all the signs of impending belly doom when entering the airport, racing to the bog we found two outer cubicles of 3 to be empty and swiftly unleashed an explosive,foul torrent of rankness that only 4 days of beer and kebabs can produce, the poor guy in the middle cubicle was heard to whimper " Mein Gott" and then started retching . Still makes me laugh years later purplebargeken, clayts450, Supernaut and 10 others 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M'coli Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 At my secondary school the main stairs in one building of 4 floors looked out over the hall and the school offices, including the headteacher's office. Being a 1960s building they all had flat roofs, withthose strange pyramidal skylights. One Monday morning we disgorged from registration and took to the stairs, looked down on the other buildings and the playground to see that someone had climbed up onto the office roof and emptied their back on the Head's skylight. Brodders, Eddie Honda, danthecapriman and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tooSavvy Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Troo storiez Yesterday, coming home from Carlisle, we stopped at Tesco Hexham for lunch.... Anklebiter shoots off to the ladies, returns 5 mins later.SWMBO now shoots off to the ladies, returns a few minutes later (giggling!!) .. SWMBO had arrived in bog just as a little girl [accompanied by her Mam] declared, gasping, "I'm not going in that one - its STINKING!" Yupp... Seat was still warm - oh how we all laughed (err.. Looked embarrassed). TS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Sterling Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Work situation *may* have taken a turn for the worse. Mind, I keep being told that I should change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtriple Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Rust. A spot of the dreaded stuff has appeared on the Bentley, bottom of the passenger side wing. Quite a BIG spot to be honest. I am gutted, which is sad and pathetic as I am a grown man and it is, in the grand scheme of things, a very minor thing, but I am indeed. distraught. Do I get it fixed now or wait and see if it gets any worse? It obviously ain't going to get any better! I'm not sure that keeping cars in the damp garage is good for them, but I did get the Mazda fixed, so 1 up, 1 down! Oh, the fucking dog was a twat today: buggered off and wouldn't come back, Phoebe was dragging around as well as her legs were playing up and so I left the twat to get on with it! I'm sure I would have gone and got him eventually. Pretty sure.... Oh yes, and pain. It is getting to the point where the slightest activity is killing me. So tired and in pain after the slightest exertion I lose all sense of humour and perspective. Kids were out and about and were driving me insane with the fucking noise and I ended up driving like an utter twat as EVERYTHING was annoying me, full use of 7 litre turbocharged engine results in darkies all over the place (trac off) and rapid assent of hills and lots of bullying (by me). Tired and sick, what a fucking life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheffcortinacentre Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 When I worked for the local bus co you'd be amazed at what people ( I use the term loosely) would do on them Inc curl one out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr A Lawrence Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 I worked in a factory in Leeds in the 80's and the toilets were a portacabin toilet block. One day someone took a shit in a plastic cup and taped it to the back of the door. Also, it was a wheeze to cling film all the loos first thing in the morning. Lankytim 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplebargeken Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Me: in pain with bastard hurting left leg and foot. Me: trying to descend stairs whilst looking like Mrs Doyle trying to get down from cleaning the windows in the parochial house. AlabamaShrimp 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldcars Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/MG-ZT-CDTI-135-Auto/282709378194?hash=item41d2cac492:g:qzwAAOSwAHtZ7PI This looks a lovely car, doesn’t it? Good impression, decent spec, interior looks in good condition for its miles. ALL 200K+ OF THEM. 47,000 my arse.Look at the wear on the brake rubber. I guess the wheel has been changed as it looks fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Snipes Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 Look at the wear on the brake rubber. I guess the wheel has been changed as it looks fine.Look at the MOT history! Conveniently lost the service history, too. oldcars 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twosmoke300 Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 Scum ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bren Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 My last welding job had toilets were somebody had drawn a dartboard on the back of the trap door. They had written above it "bogie board - have a go".The idea was you flicked a bogie and treated it like darts. The doorwas encrusted with dried bogies.I wont even mention king kong's finger which was left in the pan... puddlethumper 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bren Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 Needs flagging up to the vendor if he does'nt know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fordperv Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 I worked in a parts shop a few years back and the toilet was a dead ringer for the one from trainspotting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 Needs flagging up to the vendor if he does'nt know. I messaged him earlier. purplebargeken 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiltox Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 The toilets in the office I work in (a Large Banking Group in London) are fucking disgraceful. Toilet seats often broken from people standing on them (despite signs saying not to), hand towels thrown in the urinals, shitty toilet paper wedged into the bin for the toilet brush rather than flushed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twosmoke300 Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 I messaged him earlier.I would say the swindling shitster knows full well what he's done . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hooli Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 The toilets in the office I work in (a Large Banking Group in London) are fucking disgraceful. Toilet seats often broken from people standing on them (despite signs saying not to), hand towels thrown in the urinals, shitty toilet paper wedged into the bin for the toilet brush rather than flushed Ahh, let me guess their ethnic origin. It'll involve frogshire & their ex-empire I'd suspect. Just because of all the signs I've seen over there saying don't stand on the bog or throw paper in it. Anyone would think the stinky cheese monkeys hadn't got proper sanitation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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