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Stinky interior


pompei

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Evenin' all.

 

A few months ago I replaced the written-off Saab with a Merc CLK320.  It's a great barge that does everything I want and much more but the interior reeks of stale air freshener.  I've wiped down the leather seats, cleaned carpets, windows and headlining but it still pongs like a cheap B&B. I'm guessing that it might have been smoked in at some time and has had the car-wash 'valet' treatment a few times.  Any tips for getting rid of the whiff?

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See if you can pin down where it's mostly coming from. Carpets would be my first guess.

 

Only way I've found that's really reliable in that case is to get them out and give them a darn good seeing to with a pressure washer and some good carpet detergent.

 

Also worth mentioning - have you cleaned the A/C (if applicable), I've picked up some cars that it stank to high heaven when used until I cleaned it.

 

 

If you've not got time to go taking the car to bits, might be worth asking for help here from a professional detailing outfit. They'll have the tools and the fancy lotions and potions to deal with this sort of trouble.

 

We used to have a misting device (basically a fog machine!) that we used to use on particularly pungent vehicles (the one the vet used to trade in every 24 months for one...even after we had reduced it to it's component parts and individually cleaned them...it would still smell of sheep!). No idea what was in that fog, but it used to solve the problem and leave no discernable odour behind at all.

 

It did however leave a residue on the glass and shiny surfaces that was a swine to remove, hence it only being used in extreme cases. Chain smokers and veterinary professionals as prior keepers usually!

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Or clean cat litter.

 

Problem with cat litter is when it gets moist/wet. Then it's a bitch to get out because it became one with the carpet.

 

The coffee bean trick is old and proven, though, and absolutely meant seriously.

Coffee beans do absorb other smells and once removed, there is no coffee smell left either.

They can even remove vomit smell.

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a couple of pots of baking soda/bicarb with holes drilled in the lids.

 

Any particularly stinking textiles sprinkle it on [as long as the textile isnt damp] and vacuum off after a few hours.

 

+oh yeah, dont forget to leave the windows open all day [if you can], cars need to be aired from time to time.

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Spill a pack of coffee beans in the footwells and hoover them out after a week, then flog them for a vast amount to the nearest imbecilic bunch of bearded, skinny-trouser wearing, man-bun sporting 'baristas' serving bubbly milk out the side of a tragically ruined Type H van rollered with Farrow & Ball chalk paint, by claiming they're some sort of exclusive premium artisan blend. 

 

FTFY.

 

 

But yes, +1 on coffee beans and their odour absorption properties; they really do work.

 

Watching some other fixie-riding berk choking on bits of tufted nylon fluff and dog hairs from their iced soya skinnychino would just be a bonus.

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Thanks for the suggestions  -  I took myself off to The Range today and stocked up with microfibres,  baking soda, anti-bacterial surface spray and carpet cleaner which is meant to neutralise smells from pets' accidents amongst other things.  I've got leather cleaner somewhere and Windolene. I'm going to have a go this evening and tomorrow and see what happens.  

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All of the above in 1 set of instructions^^^

 

Take one onion, a hand full of coffee grounds, a can of neutrodol and place into footwell for 45 mins, leave ozone generator on gas mark 5. (do not spray the neutrodol, it stays in the can, it works partially through witchcraft and osmosis).

 

Remove and ceremonially bury these now-stink encrusted ingredients [or ebay them as a ready source of 80s style ford funk]

 

Carefully clean the interior surfaces with a chamois made of the hide of the now extinct tasmanian tiger, remember to dip the hide in a solution of pure grain alcohol and cillit bang (70.30 mix).

 

Lick windows for a dazzling, stank free finish....

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Also have a rummage in cubbies, under the seats, etc. for HIDDEN air fresheners.  I've known folks pull out the air vents and put air fresheners behind them, leave them under the seats, glue them to the underside of parcel shelf trim, stick them in the doors, all sorts of things.  The main reason for this seems to be to hide the fact you smoke far too much weed in your car.

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FTFY.

 

 

But yes, +1 on coffee beans and their odour absorption properties; they really do work.

 

Watching some other fixie-riding berk choking on bits of tufted nylon fluff and dog hairs from their iced soya skinnychino would just be a bonus.

People pay a premium for coffee made from beans that have been shat by a furry rodent that lives in the jungle is imprisoned in shitty cages by venal scumbags; coffee made from beans infused with the essence of shit old cars should be a sure fire winner at the next Bestival.

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