Event Mahoosive autojumble cancelled. ..Something different instead. Today ! Page 8

[Junkman]

Home achieved.

 

 

Man, what a fucking trip!

[Junkman]

There was bloodshedding:

 

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

I've just got in, the Squire about half an hour ago, and Junkman is shortly to arrive.

 

The amount of night works on the motorways was a nightmare.

 

R16 exhaust seems to be blowing at the manifold, the clamp we got in Caen has held out though.

It’s depressing to come back to the UK sometimes! The roads are a disgrace of course. Glad it planned out though. ????

[lesapandre]

I travelled up to M1 and M6 last week. Roadworks 30% of the way to create 'smart motorways'. Came back down the A1 which was lovely. M ways mostly with speed limits. Good job I wasn't in a hurry. I pity professional drivers.

[lesapandre]

How was the event? I thought about going but was busy so I never made it.

[Junkman]

It all began harmless enough.

 

 

 

But it soon turned sour.

 

 

Mind you, nothing moved at 40 here.

 

Thanks to some clinically insane lunatics that should be lynched on the spot, the M20 was closed!

On a lightsome Saturday!

 

Sure enough this created total chaos in that there Kuntish county.

Consequently, we were the very last ones to arrive at the ship two crossings past the one we were booked on.

 

 

 

 

 

We were told at the check in that would we have arrived a mere ten minutes later, we wouldn't even have made it onto that boat.

[johngarty]

Is this a terrible remake of the Goodies?

 

[Junkman]

It's a terrible remake of the baddies and the uglies.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

It all began harmless enough,.

 

 

 

But it soon turned sour.

 

 

 

Mind you, nothing moved at 40 here.

 

Thanks to some clinically insane lunatics that should be lynched on the spot, the M20 was closed!

On a lightsome Saturday!

 

Sure enough this created total chaos in that there Kuntish county.

Consequently, we were the very last ones to arrive at teh ship two crossings past the one we were booked on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Apparently to remove an old concrete footbridge that could, really, have just been left there.

[Junkman]

Anyway, once we had disembarked on the other side, it became dark quickly, the exhaust split and after an unsuccessful attempt to address the issue, we decided to press on regardless. France had its usual nightly blackout and 9 o'clock curfew, so we arrived at our digs at Caen at roughly 2 o'clock in the morning on Sunday, having made a general nuisance out of ourselves, awoken many a Frenchman on the way and flattened some French fauna.

 

The next day we awoke to a closed consumer park, closed shops and a generally closed but otherwise perfect infrastructure, despite urgent cigarette purchasing requirements. We stopped at a roadside cafe, the only establishment in that entire shithole that was open and had breakfast in form of three two sip portion coffees, served in consequently half empty plastic shot glasses. There was no cash machine to be seen and people inside the cafe wanted to send us four kilometres back to where we came from to a closed post office we had passed minutes earlier. Needless to say that we ignored them and pressed on regardless, thanks to Ghosty's fantastic google skills, which took us to another one of those terminally dreary provincial French shitholes, that had four cash machines from different banks right next to each other, making cash machine distribution an all or nothing affair for miles around.

 

After a what can only be classed annoying hour at the most unsuitable time for such bollox, we finally arrived at the event.

 

 

 

Now, to make myself perfectly clear here - and this may be a surprise for many - this was an absolute orgy of delight, well laid out and organised and in the centre of an otherwise completely closed village.

 

The English could learn a lot from the French regarding how something like this should be handled.

 

- There is no charge! Visiting the event is absolutely free.

 

- It is a classic vehicle jumble, so there are only vendors peddling wares for classic vehicles, contrary to England, where there are a few and the vast majority tries to flog pottery, self made jam, knitwear, esotheric jewelry and new overpriced rubbish tools from Taiwan, having the chuzpe to charge you a substantial admission for this universal disappointment.

 

- The vendors stay until the end of the event and then start to pack up, not like in England, where you encounter the mass exodus of vendors at 10am on your way in.

[lesapandre]

Yes M20 is regularly closed - any problem they close it. I've been caught three times. The ferry companies are ok with late arrivals if there is a good reason. 

 

The French village is typical - they never seem to link the vehicle event to keeping the local shops open to boost business or even be helpful. I think it has something to do with working hour regulations etc etc. France is really a police state and is regulated in a way unknown in the UK - some of the strange things they do are not an individual's fault rather the system. 

[Junkman]

And now on to what many of you have so patiently been waiting for.

 

Ami hachon sans moulure (there were several Ami Breaks in the car park, but we couldn't get the bloody trims off of them):

 

 

 

Van not being used to flog hipster diarrhea:

 

 

 

They used it to sell model cars and kits instead:

 

 

 

A set of Rancho lamps with broken bases:

 

 

 

 

French vintage tat:

 

 

 

I was tempted to buy these wings:

 

 

 

 

650b demi ballon:

 

 

 

 

Porteur:

 

 

 

My Vintage Tyre©:

 

 

 

 

Hoovers (also behold Squire's nether attire):

 

 

 

 

1/18:

 

 

 

Self explanatory:

 

 

 

A Horsey Horseless radiator ornament:

 

 

 

Sensible accessories:

 

[Junkman]

Yes M20 is regularly closed - any problem they close it. I've been caught three times. The ferry companies are ok with late arrivals if there is a good reason. 

 

The French village is typical - they never seem to link the vehicle event to keeping the local shops open to boost business or even be helpful. I think it has something to do with working hour regulations etc etc. France is really a police state and is regulated in a way unknown in the UK - some of the strange things they do are not an individual's fault rather the system. 

 

I dispute that there is any police and surveillance state in the world outpolicing and outsurveilling the total police and surveillance state of the Ununited Kingdom.

 

Systems can and must be changed, either side of the Channel.

[Junkman]

Anyway, this delightful caleche was in the car park:

 

 

 

Imagine our surprise:

 

 

 

MOAR car park spots:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Junkman]

We had lunch in form of Currywurst mit Pommes, weirdly without Currysoße:

 

 

This was the only occasion we were exposed to French Cuisine. It's pretty dreary.

But to be fair, they don't rip you off for it like the English would.

 

 

More importantly, beers were had:

 

[MorrisItalSLX]

That looks like a grand day/s out!

 

Were the windscreen wiper wind deflectors purchased? I have been lusting for a set for my chod.

[lesapandre]

We had lunch in form of Currywurst mit Pommes, weirdly without Currysoße:

 

 

This was the only occasion we were exposed to French Cuisine. It's pretty dreary.

But to be fair, they don't rip you off for it like the English would.

 

 

More importantly, beers were had:

 

The merguez et frites with sometimes other sausages are staple fare of all ordinary northern French outdoor events. Usually all they offer with a few permutations. Usually cooked by some bloke from the village who fancys his skills often with hilarious results.

[Junkman]

And we were back to where the action is.

 

We found another set of Rancho lights, which were intact but a tad on the small side:

 

 

 

This R3 was healthy to the core:

 

 

Oh, and do not paint!

 

 

Some tat of inferior quality:

 

 

 

Car parts trivia:

 

 

 

 

Thanks God I had packed my sawn off shotgun and blew it to smithereens:

 

 

 

 

Warped French plastic:

 

 

 

 

Moar of it:

 

 

 

 

And yet MOAR of it:

 

 

 

But wait! There was even MOAR of it:

 

[Junkman]

Right, the next post will be exposing our kill for the day.

 

But just to keep you on your toes, I am going to grab another coffee first.

Because I can.

[lesapandre]

But yea usually all pretty cheap. N. France behind all the o'la'la of the tourist trail can be a pretty poor place so often prices at everyday peoples events are cheapish. I'd not thought autojumble being significantly cheaper though. Also 80's cars seem pretty ignored unless exotic.

[Junkman]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just try to fucking beat this!

Just fucking try!

[Junkman]

Since we managed to acquire the required spares for the princely sum of €2.00, some exhaust repairage ensued:

 

 

 

We then set off in total silence to a largely closed Rouen, where we arrived at about 9 o'clock.

What better place to park in an unknown city is there, than in a pedestrianised zone you just have driven throgh?

 

 

 

The hotel was dark and appeared abandoned judging from what we could see of the lobby through the closed entrance door.

Ringing the bell remained unresponded to and we started to become slightly desperate.

However, after calling a number on a piece of paper at the opposite wall of the lobby, we were provided with an access code

and thus gained access to our delightfully shabby chic domicile after all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Junkman]

Since at a quarter past nine the only food outlets open were a burger joint and a Sushi restaurant (so much for French Cuisine),

we decided to proceed with the afters straight away.

 

 

 

We had a sentimental moment of remembrance to our sadly MIA comrade Conelrad:

 

 

 

Once we had depleted the stocks in that establishment, we proceeded to the next one:

 

 

 

 

These extremely likeable people asked me to photograph them, which I opted to do with my own camera:

 

[Junkman]

The next morning I had no breakfast while waiting for Squire's and Ghosty's resurrection.

 

 

 

 

 

So I decided to do some sightseeing.

 

 

 

 

 

Danger! Post in middle of street for fuck all reason!

 

[lesapandre]

French kids collected key rings like mad in the 50'-60's so some great stuff about. I got some US ones there last year for about 1€ each including an incredible GM one in padded maroon with stitching and gold logo. This is another one - the garage is still going.

 

Your hotel looks like it should be in a Bourne film or something by Wim Wenders. And yea the inevitable closed.

[Junkman]

Sadly the R16 developed running problems on the journey to the ferry, which continued to plague us all the way home and are quite severe now.
But we just did what we, the GGG, do all the time - press on regardless.
 

 
However, this didn't keep us away from making some vast improvements to the car while we were waiting for our Ferry.
 

 

 

 

 
 
 
And if the running problems wouldn't have been enough, the Ununited Kingdom managed yet another time to throw any obstacle imaginable in our path.
This country is run by clinically insane power hungry lunatics that thrive on putting people's lives on the line out of sheer bloodlust.
 
And thus, my friends and brethren, endeth this GGG excursion.

[Junkman]

PS - there were a few other normal people on the ferry:

 

[egg]

Excellent write up, would procrastinate on the day job again to read this. Thanks!

 

I assume you are going to sell the spotlight to some hipsters for £750....

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Meanwhile in Great Shitain, M1 at a standstill at midday:

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

And an hour later in Great Shitain, A42 inexplicably ground to a standstill. Glad ur trip went OK m8ys.