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Fuck you scene tax


Des

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I had a stupid VW door jammed open a while ago thanks to a fractured check strap, replacement priced about about 60 sovs, fuck that, lucky there's a cut to length universal option, £3.

 

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Bit of chopping, drilling, grinding and we're backing a winner.

 

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I did get stung by imaginative pricing a few years ago when I rebuilt the engine, took an age of ordering parts and rejecting and ordering and rejecting until I was happy I was in with a chance, no such luck.

 

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One fucked up 'OE spec' monkey metal follower and tappet adjuster with the originals I'm returning. I've been feeding with the ZDDP oil, monitored pressure, adjusted a few times, and this is the result after 20K miles. I could have done a shells, silicone and silver celly rebuild for £20 and managed that. This is engine strip and a ton in gaskets to fix properly, but I'm bored with properly, so here's a very cheap telescopic pushrod tube for Beetles that gets around having to remove heads to shift a lifter, slight snag, the watercooled version of the Nazi rattler has one tube end and seal formed bigger for no apparent reason, correct fitting ones are available for this engine from overcharging purveyors of cheese based products I wouldn't trust to supply a fit for purpose split pin but I've an idea.

 

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Cut the bigger end from the steel tube I murdered out to make a top hat adaptor, fits new tube nice and snug with a skinny O ring to centre and seal it, and some RTV naturally, oil leaks are a new MOT challenge these days, until someone invents engine pampers there's going to be a big need for RTV.

So in with one of the old tappets, one of the old adjusters and the engines nice and quiet again. How did it get so bad? About 5000 miles or so after rebuild, this engine had an occasional tappet noise, an oil change would usually cure it, but I did readjust thinking bedding in, then last summer I heard a nasty crownwheel and pinion type of a cacophony develop, van got parked up but wasn't until recently that I cleared the yard to take a look and find it was just a wheel bearing all along, so during a year of being shunted back and forth, oil going all mayo, the one tappet noise became pronounced, I put this down to a lifter not pumping up for the want of a good blast, both an oilchange and a blast made no improvement, I was encouraged when I found the adjuster screw nommed leaving a huge clearance, but no joy, don't know if it was the cause or a symptom, I'm guessing the lifter collapsed and monkey metal components then failed very quickly. The remaining tubes and original lifters now go in the back of the van to go in promptly next time, the cam didn't seem too bad considering, but I avoided looking too closely, bigger concern is the fine shrapnel that's been doing the rounds with the oil, let's hope the magnet I keep on the oil filter caught it all, I think I'd best look out for another engine and do a swap / minimal fix every couple of years, it's no longer viable to rebuild an old engine to last.

And while we're talking monkey metal, pattern sump plug that came with the engine, nice in that it had a 13mm hex and a 7mm square socket for belt and braces, only the hex was a bit iffy so I'd bought a new plug some time ago, hammered on the smaller socket, rounded, used a square drive thing, well fuck my old boots it rounded also, Irwin socket? Chisel? Nope, fucking Edam needed a drilling and a Torx hammering in, wasn't even particularly tight.

 

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If your home made push rod tube doesn't hold oil (should do) then to avoid the WBX surcharge they do wide mouthed beetle ones (for high lift ratio rocker types) - they fit the WBX and are available off ebay for not a great deal in singles.

 

I have also had an adjuster do that, allegedly they are not all hardened properly. Chinese quailty* control* seems to play a part in this.

 

Pissing irritating though...

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Oh bollocks I didn't think of checking ebay.

Another kick in the nuts for scene tax, there's a shitty bush for the gearchange where a big fat selector rod and ball and cup meets the box, lots of sliding and turning so it needs grease but then all the road crud collects and it gets pretty horrible, originally they had rubber boots but these are long gone, although OMG! OE spec German quality replacements are available, albeit at an insulting price, I somehow suspect these will be fashioned from recycled noddy rubber and chimney soot, so went with £1.80 worth of CG 125 fork gaiters so you can suck it scene tax.

 

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  • 2 months later...

Hey scene tax I'm back, and this time I'm bringing out the gimp. those black plastic valance things that go under the front bumper and around the corners, air dams or spoilers, whatever they're called made up of sections, well I've always had two pieces missing, one from the middle and one from the nearside. Fixed the middle one easily by moving the number plate over the gap but for the side one, well we're looking at three figures for utter tat replacements so the logical approach would be to kick off the remaining bits, only I found something close off God knows what in a ditch, but it's 4'' short.

 

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Now I just need a piece of black plastic to bridge the gap, hello Halfords toolbox.

 

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Much better, as time passes the placcy bits take on more of a structural role, and that Halfords section has a lifetime guarantee.

 

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Hey there's one of them front spoilers on a van in a scrappers near me. I paid £100 for my last one about 8 years ago, what are they worth now? It's complete and original. I would have had it off but the vans sat in a puddle and I didn't have my drill with me. 

I could put you onto the yard if you want? I couldn't get a price out of them for it though.

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I think about £100 was what a breaker quoted me, although some years ago, I wouldn't give that for a minty new one never mind some old sun bleached brittle tat that'll likely shatter should a midge fart in its direction. If you can grab that one in the yard for under a score it should be easy ebay money, but maybe not worth the grief.

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