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Saabnuts Assorted Shite Blog - Holden Horrors

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Being an in boot tank, it is in very good condition, with just a little surface rust on the bottom from standing water in the boot whilst it has been sat in my garden. Plan is to donate it to a friend who has a series 1 landie frankenstein V8 with LPG so he can jury rig my tank and use the gas from the tank.

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I took a gas tank out of a Mk2 Cortina when everyone had a Mk2 Cortina.

Had been a Taxi I think. Tank was 1/2 full. We put in in my boot, drove a mile into moorland, carried it a fair distance, opened the tap a little and ran.

It spread like a mist a foot high for a fair distance.

I was young and daft then........no longer young!

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Nuts! Well bolts actually! I have reminded myself why I always bin locking wheel nuts/bolts as soon as I buy a car, but sometimes you do not get the chance to do it! Decided to swap the rear shock mounts and front calipers on the newly acquired 9-3. Got it into position in the shed and the locking wheelnut key broke clean off so now have to wait on some removal sockets arriving.

So next I decided to look at the old 9-3. I basically destroyed the plastic at the front in the winter when I hit a large lump of ice that fell off a lorry. An hour or so had it tie-wrapped and duct taped back together :lol: So I thought I would tackle the rear brakes. Spent the next hour or so trying to find my caliper wind back tool, but with no joy. Then I remembered I lent it to someone, so have spent the rest of the afternoon trying to track it down, so far without success!

Still some progress today even if not by me! My friend phoned to say the recently aborted collection thread is back on after he swapped part of the injection fuel regulator system and the Hall sensor in the dizzy so the latest acquisition is now running and ready to collect. The Discovery of Doom seems to be behaving and my trailer is being returned to me Tuesday evening so a collection should be on for later this week!

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A bit up and down as usual at the moment! Wheel nut removal tools are not due until the end of the week, but I do have my wind back tool home. Remembered who I lent it to, or to be more accurate as I went through the possibilities, one of my friends said yes :-) My friend dropped it off with me, but as usual enthusiasm for that particular job had waned. Of course, it has rained since, so I have made a start in replacing the CD player in the old Saab 900 with a DAB unit, but that is going as well as anything electrical I tend to do. Came in about midday for a brew and remembered the AX is due an MOT at the end of the month. Phoned my tester to see when they had a slot and was told 3pm!

So, swapped a couple of cars around to get the AX out and off I went. When I got to the test station, I was in good company

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After a cup of coffee this happened

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And a bit later this happened

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A clean pass! I was expecting to spend the next day or two with a grinder and polishing up my welding (non) skills, having never been under the AX, but both myself and the MOT tester were astonished at how good it is underneath. The tester even called my mate over (who is the stations second tester) for a look! A good dosing of waxoyl is now on the cards rather than grinding! I'll take that!

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As it was not a bank holiday up here today, so we did not get a long weekend, I decided that I would take it anyway. This would be a bit more radical if I actually worked.....

Saturday was the day of the latest Morris Leslie sale at Errol and as I am unable to resist I decided to go along. Being a cheapskate, I went along with the Tayside Classic Club who always put on a display so we get free entry, so win win.

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Managed to avoid buying anything and a good day was had, My friend Tony (with the black Morris Minor) somehow talked me into getting the Fiat 500 fixed so it can go on the market. The clutch cable snapped at SF18, I bought a new one but motivation has been low. Despite expecting it to be a straightforward job, getting cars ready for sale never excites me. Yesterday I had a late start but thought I would get it done. Pushed the Fiat out of its storage corner and jacked up the rear and put it on stands. A quick look confirmed the cable had snapped about a foot from the clutch arm  Went to the front passeger cabin to see how the cable fastened to the pedal, and the first problem, I am considerably bigger than the Italian midget the car was designed to be worked on by. Problem two was everything was under the carpet, so door trims had to come off and eventually I managed to fold back the front of the carpet sufficiently to get access. The split pin came out easily and the inner cable was withdrawn.

The inner cable appeared to run into a steel tube, where the new cable had a plastic tube about 18 inches long so I assumed the steel one was an original fitting but it seemed stuck. At this point my rechargeable work light decided it had done enough work for the day and went off. I decided this was an omen and shut up shop for the day.

This morning, back to it with a fully charged light. First job was to remove the heater ducting so I could access the tube and free it off. This of course fought me all the way. Once it was finally out, I could see why the tube did not want to move, it runs the full length of the car and is welded to the shell. The new inner cable will not go through the tube as it has a long threaded section at the end for adjustment and will not go past the bends in the tube. I came inside and spent several hours on t'internet and now I am more confused than ever. I cannot find much info on clutch cables for a 1971 500 (the net is swamped with stuff on the modern 500) and nowhere at all does it mention a steel tube. I have searched ebay, amazon and most specialists and all offer the same cable as the new one, which obviously does not fit my car. To get to the rear of the steel tube I would need to remove frontand rear seats, the seatbelts and the seatbelt buckles, so have decided I cannot be bothered.

I am going to speak to a specialist or two tomorrow, but if all else fails I am looking at having a custom inner cable made and fabricating some sort of adjuster.

TL:DR Two days to do a job that should take an hour max and I have a partially dismantled car!

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At last, a bit of fleet reduction! Two vehicles left the premises this morning, along with the contents of my scrap pile. Having failed to find an enthusiast* to take on the Jazz, the battery was removed and it was loaded with the shell of a comprehensively stripped Saab 9000. The Saab has helped to keep at least 3 others on the road, so it did not die in vain!

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Farewell, enjoy the last ride!

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Tayne I fear may be correct, I do have 3 cars on the horizon for kellocshunning in the near future, but only one is for me. I need to make more space really....

The Discovery of Doom is still living up to its monica. The last time out (the first time I had risked having a trailer on the back) I was starting to lose the feeling of dread and started to relax, as it had covered over 400 miles without an FTP. Of course, on the way back there was a "boing" from somewhere underneath as I went round a shar LH bend, but optimistically put it down to one of the recently fitted springs settling. A few miles later and a graunching started! A look underneath and I could not find anything wrong but travelled home very slowly just in case. Into the shed, up in the air, wheel off and absolutely nothing wrong found, ut it back together and a test run showed all good. I put the noise down to a possible stone traped somewhere and not related to the "boing", although to be honest I was not convinced that was a spring as it sounded too tinny.

Last night I went out with it to borrow a cargo trailer as I have some tip runs to do. When there, my friend asked if the Disco was the one I had had so many problems with, then asked if it was alright now. I foolishly said yes, with the comment I still did not trust it! As I left his yard, there was a graunch, a bang and lots of beeping from the dash which lt up like a Christmas tree! I stopped, switched off and got underneath, but again all seemed OK. I restarted, and all was fine except the ABS light was on. Decided, as the brakes felt fine, so carry on and look again when I got home. Within a 100 yards, the ABS light went out and all seemed fine. However, on the journey home, on several occasions the grauching came and went.

This morning, the Disco took up its usual position in the shed and the wheel came off again. At first there appeared nothing wrong, but then I noticed the ABS cable had been dislodged from its bracket, further investigation (ie sticking my head in further) showed that the section of brake back plate near the cable was missing. A bit of a pull revealed the perfectly fine looking back plate was a perfectly fine outer edge of a back plate, and a wriggle of the plate soon had a pile of rust on the floor! I am hoping that the problems have been coming from the disintegrating shield, but by now it was too late for a tip run so tomorrow I will find out!

Can someone remind me why I sold a perfectly good if uncomfortable L200 and went back to a Disco, apart from it being more comfortable when sat at the side of the road!

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Well, the piece of shite has taken up more time, energy and money and is still in bits in the shed!

When I bought it a few months ago, I knew it had been stood around for about 6 months, but the PO I knew had spent a lot of money on it in recent times I did not realise who he had used, otherwise I would have probably given it a miss. Many years ago, about the time I opened my classic car garage, a friend I had known for years also set up his own business as a 4x4 specialist. As I ran a 4x4 I always used him and had good service. Fast forward a few years, and he has taken on a business partner and expanded, his prices went up but the service was good. Then came the massive bill for MOT work, followed the following year by another one, but sadly for the same things. When it was pointed out, the bill was cancelled for all the duplicate work, but that was the end of a business association but worse, a friendship and I have not used them since. It turns out the PO had been using the same people which I only discovered a couple of weeks ago.

When I took it for MOT it failed on rear discs, flexis, pads and a sticky rear caliper, which surprised me at the time as it had had all new front discs, pads and calipers for its last MOT 1000 miles before.. I did not realise at the time which charlatans had done the work Replaced all the rear brakes and it flew through the MOT. Enough of the history, back to this morning and the test run.

Loaded the borrowed trailer with shite and headed off to the tip, about 10 miles away.  First couple of miles and all was fine, but then came the familiar graunching. This lasted a few seconds then went away again, for another few miles, before repeating. As I neared the tip, I was driving with the window open despite the rain, racking my brains to think what was causing the noise when several checks had shown nothing wrong. Eventually, I had that halleluia moment and realised it was the ABS going off on the front wheel. In my defence, most of my cars are too old for ABS so it is something I am not reeally familiar with. Arrived safely at the tip and the trailer was unloaded, but as I pulled out there was a bang followed by the beeping and the Christmas lights on the dash. Yet another look underneath, nothing appeared wrong, so headed home at a reduced rate, and straight into the shed. Jacked up, wheel off and and a closer look at the brakes. New discs, new pads, new callipers. Had to be a fitting error, so off with the caliper.

All looked good, and nothing wrong. Then decided to check the sliders in the carriers and lo, the problem was obvious. Both stuck solid. Half an hour with a hammer and chisel had one out, but the other will not budge, even after copious amounts of heat. Had to give up and I have ordered a pair of mew carriers, which will be here hopefully Tuesday. So wheel on and fully into the shed until the replacements arrive.

Tomorrow, I have arranged to collect a truck body (off an A series recovery truck that is being replaced with a lighter one) which is going to become an outside ramp at chez Saabnut for pressure washing and waxoyling. I was going to use my Ifor Williams trailer but need the Disco to pull that, so now I am going to have to use my smaller trailer on the back of my 30 year old Saab convertible. Fun times!

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A much better day today, mainly because I have not been near the bastard discovery! :-)

First job was to hook up my medium sized car transporter trailer on to the 900 convertible and attach lightboard, before heading to Perth to collect the truck body. All went well and it is now home. Bonus of warm and dry, with the occasional bit of sun, so the entire journey was done sans roof. Makes reversing easy but amplifies the rattles coming from the trailer. Of course, I forgot to take pictures until I had parked up at home and put the roof up...

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After parking the trailer properly and unhitching, I went to see a friend to collect my Tech-II diagnostic unit as a friend in France needs to borrow it, so took the AX. Bombing down the back road at lunatic speeds, door handles scraping the white lines on the bends, glanced down to see I was doing 54mph :-) Reminded me why I am getting to love this car! On the way back, I called to see another friend who I have not seen for a couple of weeks. He has come to his senses (or rather his wife has told him) that as he is now in his 70s he is not actually going to get around to sorting his shite projects, some of which have been waiting for over 8 years! As a result I have agreed to take them away, so another 6 piles of shite for the collection. Don't get too excited, they are all buggered in some way or other and most will be going straight to the bridge, but not until I have pulled any good bits off and I will offer a parts service on here. From memory, there is a late(ish) VW Passat diesel, partly stripped, which was going to provide an engine for the Audi 80 Convertible (dead engine), another Passat diesel estate with a fried fuse box, a Mercedes 300 (rotten and standing for years), a Mercedes 450 (ditto) and an Audi A8 Quatro.

If that lot was not enough, he told me his neighbour has owned a Discovery for the last 11 years but it had just failed its MOT so he was selling. Seeing as how much I love* Discoveries, I have of course expressed interest and have asked for further details. More on this shite collection when it happens (he may well change his mind) but will not be until I have returned from SF19, LeMans24 etc. I really must be mad......

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8 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Any chance the Mercs might source a headlight switch that would suit my van?  Have been struggling surprisingly to find a replacement for a somewhat moth eaten looking headlight switch knob.

Entirely possible, I have no idea what type of switches are fitted but will have a look when they arrive, but will be about a month I would guess

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Bet you cannot guess which vehicle made the day a full on twat of a day!

Day started well, dry for a change, but received an email with the possibility of some work. Spoke to the agency and they require a list of all the vessels/fields/workscopes I have done over the last 30 years! Hahahaha. Fortunately I can provide details for the last 10 years from my discharge book (fnarr) but prior to that will have to remain a summary as my last discharge book is still residing off the coast of Africa onboard the ship that sank beneath me. Happily this will be acceptable but it will take a few hours to put into a spread sheet. Started on it but the sun came out so left it til this evening to finish as I am away on Thurday for a month for SF19, Le Mans etc and the grass needed cutting. Of course the Disco of Doom was blocking in the Kubota with the brakes dismantled, so stuck the wheel back on and carefully backed out of the shed.

Grass cut, I decided to start packing the car. First task was find the tent, poles and pegs. The tent itself was spread over the BSA car (where it was drying when put away 18 months ago!) and I had an idea where the poles were. Fortunately they were where I hoped and as a bonus the pegs were in the same area. Checked all the poles were in the bag (been caught out before) and placed them in the boot. Got the tent outer off the car and spent ages folding it neatly and into the car. Got the inner tent and started folding that when I realised nearly half of it was now several mouse nests. Aaargh! Tent out and into the bin, ordered a new tent online and will pick it up in Carlisle on the way to SF on Thursday.

By now it was about 1400 and I received a text saying my Carriers for the Dof D would arrive between 2000 and 2100 so back into the shed with it and remove the old carrier. One bolt (LR in their wisdom* use a stupid 12 point bolt so I have limited 12 point sockets to fit) came undone, but only after my top of the range windy gun failed to release it.  Eventually, a breaker bar jacked up on a trolley jack got it moving. Tried the same on the second bolt and the result was one snapped extension bar! Decided to try an extended effort with the windy gun and after no movement for over 30 seconds, it resulted in a second snapped extension, this one from an impact socket set. At this point I had several new lumps out of my hands and then the DPD driver arrived with the new carriers, dead on time at 2030. As I checked they were the correct ones, the phone rang and it was the owner of the other Discovery I mentioned a couple of days ago. Decided I was getting nowhere with the bolt, so did the proper thing and left everything to go and look at a potential purchase. The Discovery is a TD5 without MOT, it expired last week as the ABS/TC/Hill Desent lights are onso it did not go in. The owner is only the second owner and has had it for many years but a divorce means he cannot afford to do the work. It has been replaced with a Rover 620.

Underneath it seems better than mine, is a few years newer (53 plate) and has less miles at 144k so a deal was done. I paid for it but will not be collecting until the end of the month. It must also be the only Discovery of its age that does not have a tow bar, so will have to source one. From there I went to see my friend and borrowed his rather large 3/4" drive socket, ratchet and breaker bar for the calliper bolt. I can hear it whimpering from here, it will be off tomorrow! Got back home at 2315 and decided it was a bit late for lunch so opened a beer. I really should do the spread sheet now, but it can wait until the morning, but there will be no lie in tomorrow!

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Early start as planned and a couple of fun* hours were spent doing the spreadsheet which was sent to the agency. Then out to the DoD in the shed....

Turns out the whimpering I heard last night was the damned bolt snickering away to itself. The reason the carrier had not been done by the specialist* was they had damaged the bolt so the torque applied with the 3/4" drive stuff finished it off. This meant a trip to my 4x4 man to collect two new carrier retention bolts (£9.40 the pair!!!) - I would have bought 4 but he only had 2 left, then on my return it was out with Mr Angle Grinder. I had been hoping to avoid removing the disc as I suspected like everything else it would be siezed on, but it came apart easily and 20 minutes later it was all back together. No time for a test run, hitched on the trailer (ignoring all the lights on the dash - these will need turning off next time I visit my mate with the software tools) and off to collect the first of the scrappers.

Amazingly, for the first time since I have had it, it completed a journey under its own power without a new fault developing. I suspect it will now behave itself, as i have bought another one (fear is the key to reliable motoring!). Anyway back home with this

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Amazingly, despite being comprehensively stripped of parts and being full of water to s depth of about 2 inches, it still starts and drives, but has no brakes at all and no rear shock absorbers so is a bit bouncy. I believe it is about 1998 and is a 1.8 litre pez and is available for parts. I am away for 4 weeks from tomorrow, and fairly soon after my return it will get bridged. Easily removed parts I can do once returned but have neither the time nor inclination to spend much time on it when I have so many others that I actually like waiting. If you want to come and remove parts, they will be much cheaper!

That is it for a few weeks on this thread, see some of you at Shitefest on Friday. Safe journey all.

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1 minute ago, SiC said:

Errr why did you buy that?!

I didn't. A friend wanted it removed and he gave it me to cover fuel and time. It will weigh in well and provide a days wages. There are 4 others to remove when I return so they will pay for the new Disco. Swappage at extreme levels! :-)

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Early start as planned and a couple of fun* hours were spent doing the spreadsheet which was sent to the agency. Then out to the DoD in the shed....
Turns out the whimpering I heard last night was the damned bolt snickering away to itself. The reason the carrier had not been done by the specialist* was they had damaged the bolt so the torque applied with the 3/4" drive stuff finished it off. This meant a trip to my 4x4 man to collect two new carrier retention bolts (£9.40 the pair!!!) - I would have bought 4 but he only had 2 left, then on my return it was out with Mr Angle Grinder. I had been hoping to avoid removing the disc as I suspected like everything else it would be siezed on, but it came apart easily and 20 minutes later it was all back together. No time for a test run, hitched on the trailer (ignoring all the lights on the dash - these will need turning off next time I visit my mate with the software tools) and off to collect the first of the scrappers.
Amazingly, for the first time since I have had it, it completed a journey under its own power without a new fault developing. I suspect it will now behave itself, as i have bought another one (fear is the key to reliable motoring!). Anyway back home with this
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Amazingly, despite being comprehensively stripped of parts and being full of water to s depth of about 2 inches, it still starts and drives, but has no brakes at all and no rear shock absorbers so is a bit bouncy. I believe it is about 1998 and is a 1.8 litre pez and is available for parts. I am away for 4 weeks from tomorrow, and fairly soon after my return it will get bridged. Easily removed parts I can do once returned but have neither the time nor inclination to spend much time on it when I have so many others that I actually like waiting. If you want to come and remove parts, they will be much cheaper!
That is it for a few weeks on this thread, see some of you at Shitefest on Friday. Safe journey all.
I paid £10k for one of those when they were all the rage (a red i dizzler)

Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk

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Haven't seen a scrap wagon loaded like that (horrible Italian thing) with cars in a long time. Soz if missed it, but what are you putting the recovery bed on to?

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Well, been home for nearly 3 weeks so time for an update. Just in from the shed and had my lunch! so thought I would bring this up to date. The new Disco is home, but not touched it really, too many pressing things on the go. After covering over 2.5k miles in the c900 vert over the last month, it was back to the AX as daily transport and that has behaved perfectly, and I clicked up 50k miles a couple of days ago. Grass cutting took up far too much time, and I lost a few days reading the 204 documents that have been submitted for a further wind turbine farm near to my house that I had to put an objection in. I am not against wind farms, indeed there are 31 behind my house which I did not object to, but the proposed extension will see a 200m high turbine less than 1.4km from my house! Having read everything and objected, it looks like the MOD have come to the rescue and also objected as the cumulative effect will cause problems with the early warning system.

I  was invited to the Glamis show this weekend, but had too much to do. After a full on weekend of working on the road roller and the recently* aquired Saab 9-3, I would have been better off going to the show, as I would not have achieved any less, and at least my hands would not have been so sore. The flurry of activity is I am planning on returning to France mid week and the c900 still has the exhaust held up by french fence wire! My friend Malc took pity on me last night and offered to come over for the day today to see if we could achieve anything. Over the weekend I had actually managed to release the rear wheel bolts (the locking bolt removal tool worked) but had no joy with the front ones as they were so tight.

First job this morning was to get the bolts out, so a 14lb sledge, a 4ft long breaker bar and the left threaded sockets saw sucess. On a high, Malc suggested we change the cambelt/water pump/tensioner as we did not know how long they had been on (car has done 95k miles but has been sitting unused for about 3 years) but I pointed out my locking tool was with Doseydustman of this parish as I had not planned on doing this yet despite having bought the kit. Malc dismissed this as he had never used a locking tool, and tore into it. A couple of hours later and this is how it looked

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Everything came apart, and more importantly, went back together without major problems. The old belt was not bad, but was a bit worn and going hard, so glad we did it. Malcs estimate of it being a 3 cup of tea job was spot on, and it started first try and ran fine. Next on the list was to swap the front calipers and bleed the brakes, after which I took it to another friends to borrow his 2 post lift for an oil and filter change.

Car ran well, so tomorrow first thing I will see if i can get it in for an MOT tomorrow, and all being well, will take it to France on Wednesday evening. After all, it has done 12 miles in the last 3 years, 2.5 of those without moving. WCPGW by taking it of a trans continental trip of 2k+ miles?

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Will see if I can get up to the Citroen gathering, it is only a couple of hours away, but it is my local villages big event, a 3 day piss up!

MOT booked for 3pm. Fingers and everything else crossed!

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