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The slow death of Vauxhall?


Felly Magic

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Mokkas are like what Skoda Yetis were at one point, the default mobility car choice, that is why they are so common, they are absolutely shite on fuel, ride horribly, and the seats are stiff as a board, and the interior is black and claustrophobic, why the fuck they need to have a full width red LED strip running along the dash, which causes bad reflections I will never know, thank fook you can turn it down. The whole car felt like it had been designed by GM accountants, where they had gone for the lowest price for each component, then lopped another dollar off it. 

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The Vauxhall Grandland is known as the Poundland in these parts.

 

What a fucking stupid name. Grandland. FFS. 

 

Rebranding as Opel, and ditching the Vauxhall name from cars is about their only chance, along with some serious streamlining. Opel can be slowly built up into an aspirational brand.

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That might be because I think it was styled as the Buick Regal with a few very subtle styling clues from the 70's models.

 

I wish that was true but the latest Buick is very much the Insignia with a couple of tweaks.  They are marketing it here with AWD and a slight raise as a poor man's Audi Allroad but in reality it will compete with Subaru which offers real 4wd and an import badge so I don't hold out much hope for it.

 

I reckon PSA need to find a different identity for the brand to sit alongside Peugeot and Citroen, in the same way that Skoda is the 'value' VW brand.  You could have more or less the same car in Comfortable (Citroen), Sporty (Peugeot) and Value (Vauxhall/Opel).  I know nothing about selling cars obviously.

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our town does not have a main  car dealer at all , not one , the last to go was Ford , Fiat and Vauxhall led the way .. nearest dealer is up in Ainsdale which I would not use even if I had the money and it was the last dealer in the world .

 

as I have said , I have owned my last Vauxhall , the Fiats went balls up years ago , most of this is down to shoddy goods that are difficult to repair in later life coupled with poor dealer attitudes .

 

I have a trade club card from autobaunstormers, and it's almost pointless to have a trade discount if you have a Vauxhall that they no longer make. Almost anything for the omega is "NO LONGER ARSED TO STOCK" .  Ainsdale holds NOTHING in stock even for current cars.  

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People like myself do not help matters - never bought a brand new car and never will.

But if you buy second hand then your choice will influence resale values, which in turn influences new car buying decisions.

 

Unless you only buy cars when they are in old banger territory for 5% of their new price, in which case your choices will make fuck all difference!

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I like the new insignia, but youd would be nuts to pay actual money for the crap they turn out. The Astra and the Insignia are nice cars but the bottom end of the range is absolute dog egg. Nobody with any sense whatsoever would go out there and lump 10 bags on a Corsa. It was cack 5-6 years ago.

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I reckon PSA need to find a different identity for the brand to sit alongside Peugeot and Citroen, in the same way that Skoda is the 'value' VW brand.  You could have more or less the same car in Comfortable (Citroen), Sporty (Peugeot) and Value (Vauxhall/Opel).  I know nothing about selling cars obviously.

 

Peugeots should be comfortable and indestructible.

Citroens should be quirky and high tech.

 

Neither has been for at least fifteen years or so (as in since the 406 and the C6).

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When the main company has a dicey future, nobody is going to buy their cars in case the maker goes under and the cars depreciate massively - and servicing and repairs become tricky. We only have to look at what happened to Saab and Rover prices when their bankruptcies hit.

 

PSA need to be pumping cash into the UK and developing new models here while praising the superb quality of the vehicles built in the UK. Muttering hints about uncertain future and possibly closing some facilities is NOT A RINGING ENDORSEMENT OF YOUR FIRM OR PRODUCT.

 

So they will talk it into the ground, cut employee numbers, and blame us for not supporting our own industry. See Bernd Pischetsrieder for a how not to encourage sales of your own product....

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I remember when my dad bought a new MK II Cortina in silver fox in 1967/8 (reg TWA335F). It was parked outside my grandmother's in Wadsley (Sheffield) and just down the road was a brand new Vauxhall (101 I think) so my dad took me to look at it. "Look how it's already rusting around the edges, never buy a vauxhall" he said, and I didn't until after he died. That was an Agila ( for Mrs BMH) and they aren't made by Vauxhall anyway.

Had Vectra's for work, uncomfortable for long trips, and the last one threw random warning lights up on the dash. Couldn't ignore them as mate's company one did the same and went bang when he did.

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I'm a serial Volvo licker and the new V90 is perhaps the nicest wagon out there at the moment in my totally rational eyes.

 

However, the new Insignia in estate form is quite a dapper car and could hold its own next to the 5ers and A6s in the insurance company's carpark:

vehicles-insignia_st-design-exterior-VX_

 

As someone else said, you would wait three years for it to be worth 70% of its original value, and hope that it hasn't already sharted itself.

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Got to say I've never found Vauxhalls from the last 15 years inspiring cars to drive. Wind the clock back I'd take a Viva over a Marina, a shove-it over a fiesta, a Mk1/2 Ashtray over a Scrote mk 3/4 and a Carlton/Senator over a Granada/Scorpio. Never driven a Cavalier.

 

Folks had an L-reg Ashtray estate 1.6 GLS in smoke grey. It was ok to drive, better and roomier I thought than the contemporary Escort, but not as nice as a 306 or golf. It was an ordinary car for the ordinary person.

 

Had an Astra G as a courtesy car in 2003. Didn't feel much different from dad's older Astra, it was ok, felt a bit dated but nothing horrific. Then the rental company wanted it back and gave me a Zafira A. What a heap of crap. It was awful on the road, uncomfortable seats, poor ride, the only benefit it had was I could move stuff around in it when I was breaking my first Scimitar.

 

Also had a facelift Corsa C in 2006 as a courtesy car, must have been one of the very last as 06 plate. It was again ok to drive, nothing special but a 120 mile a day round trip was agony in a 1 litre 3-pot. Felt sharp enough handling, but seats were a little uncomfortable and not much room for a 6 ft 5 brick shithouse of a man.

 

I've had short drives of Vectra B's and C's - I think the older model was the better car TBH. It seemed a little more predictable on the road. Didn't like the understeer of the C. The Insignia that replaced it was a million times better, handled nicer but a bit gloomy inside the one I drove. Comfy seats though.

 

I appreciate my Saab is essentially a Vectra C, however it feels a bit more competent on the road, less understeery and sharper handling. Dunno if Trollhatten tweaked something on it.

 

My tuppence worth - Not spectacularly shit, but then again nothing to write home about.

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I know of someone who has a Mobility Zafira, 17 plate. Was speaking to him on Saturday & he told me that he had just got it back from the Vauxhall Dealer the day before. I asked him why & he replied that it cuts out on him at random, & did it on the motorway at 70mph. Just cut out.

 

The dealer had it for 3 days & could not find anything wrong with it. He told them it was random when it happens.

 

This is a 2017 petrol, not a diesel one. 

 

I have my old Astra Van, 05, & covered 170,000 odd miles now & it is a reliable old thing. Mrs OC has a 2005 55 Astra H 1.6 & in the near 3 years that she has had it, other than general maintenance & a Service, it has never put a wheel wrong. That has covered 112,000 odd miles now, she got it at 92,000.

 

But a new Vauxhall, I would not bother with.

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I'm a serial Volvo licker and the new V90 is perhaps the nicest wagon out there at the moment in my totally rational eyes.

 

However, the new Insignia in estate form is quite a dapper car and could hold its own next to the 5ers and A6s in the insurance company's carpark:

vehicles-insignia_st-design-exterior-VX_

 

As someone else said, you would wait three years for it to be worth 70% of its original value, and hope that it hasn't already sharted itself.

 

The estate does look nice.  Unfortunately it's got one massive, overwhelming problem in the styling department.

 

It's got a sodding Vauxhall badge.  It doesn't matter if the car's good enough for the Shah of Iran, that badge makes people go elsewhere - even if the car's a winner.

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I learnt to drive in BSM Corsa Ds, even factory fresh they were a dull uninspiring drive, the interior felt cheap, and they had hard, unsupportive seats. Think it was either SXi or Design spec too, not a basic one. Didn't really like them.

 

BSM have switched to Peugeot now, 208/308s.

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don't know about new cars but running an mot station I'm in and out of  different cars all day.Vauxhall Astras and corsas up to ten years old all seem to have interiors that smell funny.I think it's the plastic they use. We have Insignias and vans coming in but they don't seem to smell.Maybe if new cars are the same it's off putting. 

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Peugeots should be comfortable and indestructible.

Citroens should be quirky and high tech.

 

Neither has been for at least fifteen years or so (as in since the 406 and the C6).

 

Agree that's what they should be, and IMHO current 2014 on 308 and X9 (2008 on) C5 with hydro-pneumatic meet these descriptions to a tee. Also agree 406 was indestructible - in marked contrast to 405. Can't see the point of modern Citroens though - seem to be stylised Pugs with rubber mats glued to the doors

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Obviously there's Ellesmere Port but will the Luton van factory also survive? The latest generation Vivaro/Trafic is now additionally made in Renault's own plant in Le Havre. PSA already markets the very successful Ducato-based van and its smaller sibling at SevelNord/Sud. Ford has already moved Transit production to Turkey to save costs - considering Luton is of similar vintage to Southampton I don't see that one staying.

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I'm always sad to see British jobs at risk, but, really, who gives a fuck about Vauxhall nowadays? 

 

I'm surprised that no-one is pointing the finger at GM. OK, they're not the current owner, but surely they sowed the bland, tasteless seeds that created the utterly forgetful range of cack they currently sell? See how GM cocked up Saab, Holden, Chevrolet and Hummer? Those brands, like them or not, at least had some kind of USP - but there is literally no point in Vauxhall.

 

I wrote about the mess at the Frontera factory in my book, I used to sell quality inspection equipment to car factories back then. Here's a snippet;

 

 

Vauxhall, Luton, UK

 

IBC vehicles are an offshoot of GM. In Luton, near the airport, sits the huge IBC factory that spewed out Vauxhall and Opel Fronteras in the Nineties, where it previously (and subsequently) made vans. I knew that if I could get a meeting with a particular senior production engineer (we’ll call him Dave) and demonstrate my kit, I’d most likely win an order. I accept that this chapter isn’t a comprehensive assessment of the quality of their vehicles, but I’d like to think it’s a fairly accurate insight based on what I saw.

 

The day started well, I was early. Too early. In fact I was so early I had time to drink three coffees in a cafe near the factory. I then needed a wee. I didn’t want to arrive at my meeting and ask for the toilet so I drove around looking for a public convenience. I found one. Flies to my cheap suit undone I let loose, nothing could have stopped the flow, and at that point I noticed two obese Asian men having sex in the corner, staring at me. The day got worse.

 

I had been on site before but in order to walk about the production line without a chaperone you needed a safety briefing. I sat in my piss-soaked trousers next to a sullen Eastern European chap in high-viz. We were set a little test to ensure we had been listening. Igor leant over and asked me “wot does mean word we-hickle?” He was a welding inspector. We both got our passes and I walked down the production line to have my meeting with Dave from QA.

 

Back then we didn’t have camera phones and cameras were not allowed on site. To this day, I regret I didn’t get a snap of one thing I spotted there that summed the place up so well; at the end of the production line was a vandalised sign where some wag had added a ‘C’ on a sign, which then read: “Warning! Vehicles emerging from Cleft”

 

The place was dirty and disorganized. A huge expanse of car park looked like the despatch yard but was full of cars that had come off the line and needed rectification before being shipped off to the dealers. Most had a bar-coded label with printed description of the fault to be rectified. Others had bits of tape stuck to the windscreen with marker pen messages such as ‘brakes f*cked’ and one which stuck in my mind, and consider this is supposed to be a document to instruct someone how to rectify a fault, said simply ‘is sh*t’.

 

I had been told where to find Dave, and as I walked alongside the production line I wondered what kind of person could manage such mayhem. The Frontera had a poor reputation for quality and surely I would make a sale when he saw how my equipment would improve their productivity. It had been rushed into production as GM wanted an SUV in their lineup; IBC had got the short straw.

 

As the line ground to a halt (an accident, industrial action, who knows?) I got closer to the section where Dave worked. I asked a line-worker where he was and was pointed towards the body of a half-finished five door Frontera. Slumped in the drivers seat, boots on the dashboard, smoking a fragile looking roll-up and simultaneously eating a limp sandwich, sat Dave. “Fag break” he said, dropping crumbs and ash everywhere. “Come back later”.

 

The Frontera came fourth from bottom in a JD Power satisfaction survey in 2001. I’m surprised it did as well as that. In defence of the Frontera – and I’m quite sure many people love theirs - one did set a record in 1997 for the fastest circumnavigation of the globe by a car in 21 days.

 

I think the final words of this chapter should go to a frustrated member of the owners club who said the Frontera was “built by people who weren`t really sure which end of a spanner to use”.

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Obviously there's Ellesmere Port but will the Luton van factory also survive? The latest generation Vivaro/Trafic is now additionally made in Renault's own plant in Le Havre. PSA already markets the very successful Ducato-based van and its smaller sibling at SevelNord/Sud. Ford has already moved Transit production to Turkey to save costs - considering Luton is of similar vintage to Southampton I don't see that one staying.

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-43638862

 

Ultimately, Vauxhall are stuck in a bad situation. They have a dealer network of substantial size whilst their market share has consistently declined over the past god knows how many years (and particularly badly over the past year), hence this attempt to restructure their network. You don't need to be Professor Garel Rhys to see that something needs to be done about that.

 

Weirdly, it's the really weak offerings like the Mokka and Corsa that are still selling. Astra sales seem to have noticably dropped with that not even in the top 10 sellers. And the new Astra is actually a decent car which is competitively priced against even the Koreans (and considerably cheaper than the soon to be replaced Focus).

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I'm always sad to see British jobs at risk, but, really, who gives a fuck about Vauxhall nowadays?

 

I'm surprised that no-one is pointing the finger at GM. OK, they're not the current owner, but surely they sowed the bland, tasteless seeds that created the utterly forgetful range of cack they currently sell? See how GM cocked up Saab, Holden, Chevrolet and Hummer? Those brands, like them or not, at least had some kind of USP - but there is literally no point in Vauxhall.

 

I wrote about the mess at the Frontera factory in my book, I used to sell quality inspection equipment to car factories back then. Here's a snippet;

 

 

Vauxhall, Luton, UK

 

IBC vehicles are an offshoot of GM. In Luton, near the airport, sits the huge IBC factory that spewed out Vauxhall and Opel Fronteras in the Nineties, where it previously (and subsequently) made vans. I knew that if I could get a meeting with a particular senior production engineer (we’ll call him Dave) and demonstrate my kit, I’d most likely win an order. I accept that this chapter isn’t a comprehensive assessment of the quality of their vehicles, but I’d like to think it’s a fairly accurate insight based on what I saw.

 

The day started well, I was early. Too early. In fact I was so early I had time to drink three coffees in a cafe near the factory. I then needed a wee. I didn’t want to arrive at my meeting and ask for the toilet so I drove around looking for a public convenience. I found one. Flies to my cheap suit undone I let loose, nothing could have stopped the flow, and at that point I noticed two obese Asian men having sex in the corner, staring at me. The day got worse.

 

I had been on site before but in order to walk about the production line without a chaperone you needed a safety briefing. I sat in my piss-soaked trousers next to a sullen Eastern European chap in high-viz. We were set a little test to ensure we had been listening. Igor leant over and asked me “wot does mean word we-hickle?” He was a welding inspector. We both got our passes and I walked down the production line to have my meeting with Dave from QA.

 

Back then we didn’t have camera phones and cameras were not allowed on site. To this day, I regret I didn’t get a snap of one thing I spotted there that summed the place up so well; at the end of the production line was a vandalised sign where some wag had added a ‘C’ on a sign, which then read: “Warning! Vehicles emerging from Cleft”

 

The place was dirty and disorganized. A huge expanse of car park looked like the despatch yard but was full of cars that had come off the line and needed rectification before being shipped off to the dealers. Most had a bar-coded label with printed description of the fault to be rectified. Others had bits of tape stuck to the windscreen with marker pen messages such as ‘brakes f*cked’ and one which stuck in my mind, and consider this is supposed to be a document to instruct someone how to rectify a fault, said simply ‘is sh*t’.

 

I had been told where to find Dave, and as I walked alongside the production line I wondered what kind of person could manage such mayhem. The Frontera had a poor reputation for quality and surely I would make a sale when he saw how my equipment would improve their productivity. It had been rushed into production as GM wanted an SUV in their lineup; IBC had got the short straw.

 

As the line ground to a halt (an accident, industrial action, who knows?) I got closer to the section where Dave worked. I asked a line-worker where he was and was pointed towards the body of a half-finished five door Frontera. Slumped in the drivers seat, boots on the dashboard, smoking a fragile looking roll-up and simultaneously eating a limp sandwich, sat Dave. “Fag break” he said, dropping crumbs and ash everywhere. “Come back later”.

 

The Frontera came fourth from bottom in a JD Power satisfaction survey in 2001. I’m surprised it did as well as that. In defence of the Frontera – and I’m quite sure many people love theirs - one did set a record in 1997 for the fastest circumnavigation of the globe by a car in 21 days.

 

I think the final words of this chapter should go to a frustrated member of the owners club who said the Frontera was “built by people who weren`t really sure which end of a spanner to use”.

Oooh I didn't know you were on here, keep meaning to buy your book one day and give it a read! (assuming your the crack fox on *whisper* the other forum?)

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my book

 

 

I've got a copy of your book and sometimes revisit it by reading a chapter on the bog. So I'd like to express my thanks for bringing some amusement to the otherwise serious business of taking a dump!

 

To keep things on topic, I have an Astra K base for work. It's absolutely, 100%, a blue c-segment car. That's all I can really say about it, good or bad. And I guess that's the problem, it's all just a bit "not just good, good enough".

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