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Shirley Knott's Evil Web Of Shite- V70 Handbrake Shoes And C1 Exhaust


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If you can't remove the carpets entirely, a stack of old newspapers laid under the carpet to soak up the water, to be removed when wet and replaced then repeat until dry, works well. Disposable nappies - as large as you can get them - opened out with the inside pressed to the wet area and weighted down with something will also do a fine job of absorbing any stray liquid and, as they say in the adverts, they do not leak! :-)

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Right, another hour spent on the car this morning, in a new and exciting twist it seems having lifted the carpets on the drivers side, front and back are soaked there too... That's the full car :cry:

 

The only positive in this whole saga is that the floors all appear to be rust free...

 

Only one thing for it, full carpet removal and then test :?  This morning I've taken out the drivers seat, pulled back the carpets where they were being held down by it and then put the seat back in...

 

 

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Two questions I have are...

 

The plastic ECU cover/trim piece (Pictured on the right hand bleow) side doesn't seem to be held in by the usual torx screws :neutral:  It's the only thing that's holding me back from complete removal of the front/drivers carpet, does anyone know how it comes off...?

 

41127774684_efc2d7642d_k.jpgSAM_6415 by

 

Also to remove the rear carpets I'm assuming that the back seats and centre console have to come out? How is the centre console removed?

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That piece of trim is held in by interference only, so all you need to do is pull it gently towards you to remove it. The centre console is held in by screws in the recess between the handbrake and gear lever and fixings (can't recall if they are screws or bolts) found under a prise-out cover in the cubby hole  :)

 

Pawnote: getting stuck in like that with a car that's new to you is a great way of bonding with it. Or not, depending on your level of enthusiasm/insanity.

 

Assuming that your car doesn't have A/C, have you checked the big grommet at the top of the passenger side bulkhead? It's unlikely, but water may have got past it during the engine clean.

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That piece of trim is held in by interference only, so all you need to do is pull it gently towards you to remove it. The centre console is held in by screws in the recess between the handbrake and gear lever and fixings (can't recall if they are screws or bolts) found under a prise-out cover in the cubby hole.  :)

 

You legend :)

 

EDIT: Pull back towards as in back towards the B pillar/rear of the car, or inwards towards the center column/gearstick etc?

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Right, another hour or so's fettling this morning.

 

I've noticed that the bearing on the alt sounds rough <_< That will have to be put on the laterbase as other problems (Leaking) are more pressing.... Quick test, at least it's charging well....

 

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Onwards and upwards. Shep Shepherd's advice RE ECU cover and centre column removal was spot on (Thanks mate!) As an added bonus I even found an OBD port under the armrest too...

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Progress. All carpets (Other than boot) and all but the drivers seat are now completely removed...

 

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Again, big thanks to all of you who've chimed in with advice/support thus far. Lots of the bits I've done would have caused a lot more grief and taken a lot longer without you lot, I appreciate it :)

 

Next steps are to re-seal the kick/knee vent jobbies, remove cowl and check the drains there, re-seal the windscreen if possible and also apply creep and seal around the sunroof (Much as I loath to bodge it, it's already siliconed in place so going over that again and making sure the existing bodged seal is weatertight seems to be the best option at present.)

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Assuming that your car doesn't have A/C, have you checked the big grommet at the top of the passenger side bulkhead? It's unlikely, but water may have got past it during the engine clean.

 

Totally missed this part of your last post (Too busy rushing straight outside to tug the ECU panel off) :oops:

 

No AC... I shall have a look on the firewall tomorrow morning.

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Just feast your eyes on that lovely, rust-free, clean and wholesome floor! :-)

 

May I suggest that you could use these few days of good, dry weather that we are due, to remove the bodge of sealant from around the sunroof and open it up (if it will) to investigate that area properly? See if it is indeed a source of leaks and if so, why, for example if the drain holes are blocked, or pipes are missing etc. Then you will know for sure what is amiss.

 

You can always close it up again and run a new bead of sealant around it but do a proper job of that, if you decide that to be the best course of action.

 

IIR the 'seal' around the factory sunroof wasn't designed to be absolutely watertight, but allowed a small amount of water to seep in slowly, This was then removed by the four drain pipes...

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Just feast your eyes on that lovely, rust-free, clean and wholesome floor! :-)

 

May I suggest that you could use these few days of good, dry weather that we are due, to remove the bodge of sealant from around the sunroof and open it up (if it will) to investigate that area properly? See if it is indeed a source of leaks and if so, why, for example if the drain holes are blocked, or pipes are missing etc. Then you will know for sure what is amiss.

 

You can always close it up again and run a new bead of sealant around it but do a proper job of that, if you decide that to be the best course of action.

 

IIR the 'seal' around the factory sunroof wasn't designed to be absolutely watertight, but allowed a small amount of water to seep in slowly, This was then removed by the four drain pipes...

 

Yes, very pleased I've caught it in time to avoid rust!

 

Tempting, but TBH I'm almost certain trying to scrape the sealant off enough to re-open the sunroof will result in damage to the surrounding paint...

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FML...

 

Spent half an hour utterly soaking the Ovlov with a high pressure hose this morning, extra hosing for all of the suspect parts, ie door seals/windscreen/cowl/sunroof etc.

 

It produced... Nothing...no leaks, nothing, nada, there're no bloody carpets or seats in there so if it had leaked I'd see it.

 

Checked again 8 hours later, still all dry. The mystery is mysterious.

 

Mind completely blown at this point. Need to get back to my VAG shite and put this one to bed now (Lupo needs front pads and discs, the Golf has a small blow on the exhaust)

 

Tempted at this stage so smear a layer of sealant over all the suspect parts, put it all back together and call it job jobbed, keeping a close eye for moistness and periodically lifting carpets to check moving forwards  :roll:

 

At the risk of turning this topic into a kind of support group for people who've bought an aging Volvo and realised it's a bit of a pup, I've got two questions for the 700/900 series massive on board....

 

1. I've removed both side/knee vent kick trims at this stage and I can clearly see the small black rectangular box that sits behind it on the passenger side (I'm assuming this is the part that commonly leaks?) It already looks like it's had a bead of silicone round it to me, I'm going to give it another for good measure, however I can't see one on the drivers side... I'm assuming if it's there it sits behind the ECU and said ECU must be removed to access it?

 

2. I'd like to remove the metal cowl that sits behind the bonnet and check the drains under there... I'm assuming there are drains there? This area is the No1 cause of wet carpets in Passat's I've owned so I'd like to check all is well in that area for my own sanity :wacko:  Clearly the wiper arms need to come off to get the panel lifted, any other tips or things I need to know about removal would be gratefully received!

 

TIA.

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I can only go from the 700 models as I’ve never had a 900 despite them being essentially the same...

 

The footwell vents are like a black hatch/box type thing. Normally the water runs down through the scuttle vent and down the sides of the A posts which is in the same area as these vents. Hence the leaks.

On your 900 the ecu stuff is located on the drivers side where these vents are. On the old 700 like mine (no ecu!) there’s a vent on both sides and the two footwell trim panels are the same but mirror image per side. The 900 has a vent on one side and a solid slightly different shape cover on the other, I think. I’m not entirely sure if they did just leave the vent hatch under the ecu though? I can’t imag they did as it would seem pretty silly to install sensitive electronics next to such a thing, but... worth maybe trying to have a look behind it just incase?

Imho it’d make good sense to re-seal these vents regardless. You’ve got it all stripped so you might aswell now.

 

The front cowl cover (scuttle with vents below windscreen) does just unbolt. I removed it on my previous 740 to clean it out. Yes, water does drain out that way.

When I did the last one it was easy to get out, cleaned out all the leaves and gunk then sprayed it with cavity wax (just incase!) and also reglued the mesh vent stuff that sits under the slots. Getting it back on was a bit of a pig though. It was tight and took a fair bit of messing to get it back in. God knows why!?

I need to do this on my current 740 too as the mesh has come off on this one too.

 

Edit; i think there’s a rubber seal to take off and some other clips under the bonnet too before you can lift the outer panel off. Worth checking before you just rip it off though!

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^ Thanks. Everything I needed to know :)

Best of luck with the scuttle job.

To get mine back on I had to put a towel on it, then step on it with one foot to push it down into place while someone else tightened the bolts.

I don’t know if mine flexed as I took it off or something but when I put it back on the first time the bonnet would hit it when closing it down. It needs really pushing down home then tightening up.

It’s possible it might just have been that particular one of course!

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I took The Volvo's scuttle panel off to lubricate the wiper mechanism and to clean and rustproof the bulkhead last autumn. Not that it actually needed much more than a vacuum out of the accumulated debris and the odd dab of Waxoyl:

 

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I found it such an easy job compared to a lot of things I've done on the car that I can't really remember much about it  :mrgreen:

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I took The Volvo's scuttle panel off to clean and rustproof the bulkhead last autumn, not that it actually needed much more than a vacuum out of the accumulated debris and the odd dab of Waxoyl. I found it such an easy job compared to a lot of things I've done on the car that I can't really remember much about it  :mrgreen:

I’m glad you said that as it makes me feel better about doing it on my current one! I’ve been putting off doing it.

The mesh grill things come loose and needs bonding back on. Looks like it’s just thick mastic type stuff securing it to the back of the panel? Tiger seal might work to reattach it?

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Cowl/scuttle thing removed today. Not much to see, certainly nothing that could cause water ingress.

 

41868898482_33d3870248_k.jpg

 

My conscience has got the better of me, rather than immediately re-bodging, tomorrow I shall cut though/dig out the silicone and see if the sunroof works :shock:

 

Clearly the sunroof seal/gasket is likely to be damaged doing this. I've done much searching but can't seem to find replacement seals for sale anywhere....

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Another nice weekend so some Volvo based tinkering has taken place ^_^

 

Sunroof was cut open to investigate, it will lift to the open position but won't slide back. Shameful as it is, I've closed it and re-sealed it, only this this time properly with Sikaflex and Captain Tolley's Creeping Crack Cure (Yes really)

 

After an hour and a half aggressively assaulting the car with a hose I couldn't produce any evidence of leaking, not a drop. Checked again the next morning and still bone dry.... Baffled.

 

Today I bit the bullet and put the carpets/seats etc back in. An hour or so's wafting around this afternoon produced big grins. Coolant levels remain steady/carpets still bone dry. I've been unable to get to the bottom of what had gone on to get things so wet but will regularly check for water ingress (And possibly forever remain paranoid) during the rest of my tenure with the car.

 

Onwards and upwards. Oils and filters ordered from ECP during another one of their perpetual '35%OFF!!!'  style sales for just over 25 groats, I shall use the car for work this week and plan a minor service for next week at some stage.

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Excellent!

Is it not just possible someone left a window slightly open in the rain/washing car which let the water in? I can’t imagine your floors being as sound as they are if it was a long term leak or one that’s gone unnoticed for a while.

 

Use it and see I suppose. Having fixed mine some time back I still have a quick feel under the mats every few months for damp! None found so far but I’m paranoid!

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Excellent!

Is it not just possible someone left a window slightly open in the rain/washing car which let the water in?

 

^Gawd, I hope so.

 

One thing's for sure, I certainly can't re-produce the leak myself despite much effort. I will proceed with regular checks and see how I get on...

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Time for another update.

 

I've now owned the Volvo for a total of three weeks and that's provided me with enough time to fall completely and utterly, no questions asked head over heels in love with it... It's such a fantastic car to drive. Quiet, incredibly comfortable and there's something about sitting in it that somehow feels like I'm receiving a giant reassuring hug, albeit in automotive format. Ok, ok, I'll stop gushing, in short I like it a lot.

 

On this basis of the information above I've now begun to lavish care/attention/cash... I always end up doing this with cars I buy TBH, but never has there been a more deserving candidate and in this instance it feels truly justified.

 

First things first, one of the things that has been letting the car down was the peeling doorcards (A common niggle with the 940 marque I've later learned.) See images...

 

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I knew I needed to sort these and phoned all of the Volvo breakers/specialists I could find, only to be told that nobody had any in the correct colour and if they got any the would be £100-£150 and would be reluctant to post... Then, to my absolute joy and by some strange twist of fate I spotted a '90 reg 940 in saloon flavour in a scrap yard about 15 miles from home... Called them and asked, the car had perfect doorcards in the right colour.... The best bit is the price. They wanted £20 :-D I don't think I've driven anywhere faster in my life.

 

As promised the doorcards were perfect and other than the carpeted sections above the door pulls a complete match colour wise. The only anomaly is the front's didn't have speakers... The vinyl literally went straight across the cards? Very strange...

40397371290_dc5244d289_b.jpg

 

Never mind. Holes were carefully cut for the speakers and the old ones (Pop riveted in) were drilled out and transferred across and fastened in place with small bolts and nylock nuts. Carpeted sections were also transferred across from the old cards without issues too.

40397375080_01df94d78b_b.jpg

 

As is usually the case, the first doorcard had taken me the best part of an hour to remove at the breakers, by the time I was installing the last one at home I had them down to about 10 minutes per door.

 

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Next on the list was the sunroof switch. Having investigated and found that my sunroof was not only probably leaking but also borked, I'd sealed it shut again (But properly) until I could investigate further. Until that time it makes sense to remove the switch. Along with the doorcards mentioned earlier I'd grabbed a host of other spares from the breaker car as they were cheap, including blanks for my sunroof switch to avoid the temptation to knock it accidentally etc.

 

Panel out...

 

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And blank installed to replace the switch until something can be done with the actual sunroof mechanism...

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Meanwhile my badly worn seat had been at the trimmers all week....

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In effect it had come apart at the seams in several places and where-as usually I'd have been tempted to stich it back up myself, I decided that in this instance the car deserved better than that. The price quoted to remove the cover and make good again was surprisingly small.

 

Seat returned and looking as good as new...

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And breathe... Interior now looking much nicer with non-damaged seats and minty fresh doorcards, lots of work but for circa £50 all in well worth doing IMO...

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Fantastic update!  :mrgreen:

 

I need to take The Volvo's front seat to a trimmer, as it has a split seam on the outside edge of the driver's seat.  sewed it back together myself years ago, but it's not the prettiest job. It might be easier to replace it, if I can find a seat.

 

If anyone knows of a good driver's seat for a 740 SE or early 940 SE in grey trico plush going cheap, let me know.

 

post-4796-0-55405200-1526743044_thumb.jpg

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^ I'm 99% certain that's the exact colour of the seats in the breaker I've been rummaging in, it's a 1990 740 GL saloon...

 

Unfortunately whilst the car is good and seems to have been scrapped despite it's last MOT in 2012 only showing 79k miles, the drivers seat looks to be completely covered in grime, maybe even oil? Frustratingly all other seats seem A-ok :(

 

If you'd like I can buy the seat (Probably very cheaply indeed) and have a go at cleaning it up with washing powder/stiff brush/jet-wash? If I can get the muck out then good, if not I can dispose of it?

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This thread has become a bit Swede centric of late and I've been feeling slightly guilty about it, so up with the larks this morning washing and waxing my VAG shizzle...

 

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I'm always pleasantly surprised with how well they scrub up for such old cars ^_^

 

Admittedly the Golf had newer wings fitted that I'd pilfered from a lower mileage petrol based breaker and both had a thorough going over with compound and polish when I bought them, none the less they seem to hold up very well considering they both still see daily grind type useage through salt, snow, short journeys and everything else our household can throw at them.

 

Also, it's absolutely inconceivable to me that the Lupo is now getting on for 20 years old, I have to remind myself of that now and then... It seems like yesterday that these came out and I fondly remember them being in VW showrooms  :ph34r:

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  • Shirley Knott changed the title to Shirley Knott's Evil Web Of Shite- V70 Handbrake Shoes And C1 Exhaust

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      1999 Toyota Avensis CDX. V781 GDP. By far the best car I've ever had. Bought in 2002 for £5300, it had previously been a company car at British Telecom. I ran it from 62,000 to 174,000 before it became surplus to requirements. A German chap bought it on ebay for about £500 and drove over to collect it. Hero.

      2001 Ford Mondeo Zetec by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      2001 Ford Mondeo Zetec. Y821 EEB. I should have loved this car. I gave £500 for it in 2008 which was stupidly cheap by anybody's standards. It needed 4 tyres (which actually was nice to pick good ones for once) and a coil spring. Sadly, it was just bill after bill after bill. I sold it and promised to never own another Ford. I nearly succeeded.

      1998 Nissan Almera by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1998 Nissan Almera GX Auto. S58 NLO. My late Grandfather's car and, upon reflection, my first proper attempt at bangernomics. I bought it for £500 in 2008 from the estate and ran it for well over a year and 30,000 miles. It was also my first automatic which, whilst a bit dumb, did lock up into overdrive and give a good 36 mpg no matter how it was driven.

      2004 Ford Fiesta 1.25 LX and 2006 Ford Focus 2.0 Ghia by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      2004 Ford Fiesta Zetec. AG53 BWL. My wife's car which I ran for a couple of years when I bought her a Focus as a wedding gift.

      2003 Rover 75 by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      2003 Rover 75 Club SE. AX53 BFA. This is where my career as a serial car buyer really began. Ignoring all of the warning signs I decided to press a K Series into a daily 100 mile commute, which it did with aplomb. This wasn't actually the car I set out to buy, the one I'd agreed to buy OVERHEATED ON THE FORECOURT whilst I was doing the paperwork. Consequently I couldn't leave fast enough and bought a different car later that day.

      2004 Toyota Avensis T30-X by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      2004 Toyota Avensis T3-X. KT53 DWZ. Sensible head back on, I decided to get back into something I trusted when my 3rd son was born. This was a lovely car, but not without its problems. The VVTi oil burning issues are well documented and do frequently occur. Ironically, this was less reliable than the Rover it replaced! Despite fearing the worst and 3 months off the road, the new owner has just MOTd it.

      1999 Toyota Avensis SR by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1999 Toyota Avensis SR. V263 GDP. Back into bangernomics territory again. The last MK1 Avensis I had was the best car I'd ever had, so I hoped to replicate it with another T22 Avensis. This one came up for sale in my favourite (and rare) colour with a numberplate sequential to my previous car - so it was meant to be. I still have this now, and tomorrow it will tick around to 185,000 miles having been bought by me at 100,500.

      Side Bitches

      1974 Morris Mini 1000 by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1974 Morris Mini 1000. GEL 517N. Well, I always wanted one - and was young, free, single and well off at the time (2003). A memorable trip to buy it when I called my new girlfriend by my ex girlfriend's name 20 miles into a 200 mile weekend away. She's never forgiven or forgotten but we're still friends. Oh - and married.

      1977 Ford Capri II GL by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1977 Ford Capri II 1600 GL. SMY 675R. I can't remember why I bought this, other than I thought it'd be amusing. It was bought from Norwich for £350 and was perfectly well behaved for the 8 months that I had it (other than a flasher unit expiring). I remember being shocked just how much the windscreen would ice up inside, and duly sold it in November to a guy who was going to drive it daily! It's still alive and now, apparently, black! (Update - it's now silver!!!)

      1989 Volvo 340 DL by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1989 Volvo 340 DL. G67 AVN. I bought this for £80. Unbelievable. It was utterly bloody perfect. I wanted to do a banger rally which is why the guy gave it to me so cheap. I'm still yet to do that rally, but no longer have the car. I sold it for about £300 to a family who were clearly down on their luck who, I hope, still have the car.

      1996 Toyota Granvia by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1996 Toyota Granvia. N775 JEV. My wife and I decided to increase our numbers further and, with our 4th son on the way, larger transport was required. We quickly realised you can either have 4 children and no apparel, or apparel and no children. After trying a very tired Mercedes Viano, the Granvia was found for 1/4 of the price and it's still here 2 years later. I can safely say that we'll never sell it - it really is another member of the family.

      1993 Mercedes 190e by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1993 Mercedes 190e. L795 COJ. I've admired these cars since I was a child. In fact, one of the very few toy cars I still have from my childhood is a Mercedes 190e. Regular readers of "Memoirs from the Hard Shoulder" will know what a PITA this car has been since day 1, but I get the feeling it's a keeper. We'll see!

      1983 Ford Sierra Base 1.6 by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1983 Ford Sierra Base. GVG 510Y. Not explicitly my car, but it should be documented here for reference. Oh - and the V5 is in my name. The story is online for all to read as to how five of us acquired what is believed to be the only remaining Ford Sierra Base. Make a brew and read it, it's a fantastic story.

      1982 Ford Sierra L by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1982 Ford Sierra L. LCR 503Y. I accidentally won this on ebay for £520. Upon reflection, I shouldn't have sold it - but short stop of saying I regret it. I could never get truly comfortable driving it and, in fairness, I could scratch my Sierra itch with the base if I wanted. Sold it at a stupid profit of £1250. It is believed to be the oldest remaining Ford Sierra in the UK.

      1979 Volvo 343 DL by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1979 Volvo 343 DL. DBY 466T As you'll see above, I'd had a 360GLT as a younger lad and fancied one of these earlier cars. The variomatic is, frankly, terrible but amusing. This car has just 8000 miles on the clock and inside was absolutely timewarp. Sadly, the huge bill for the Mercedes 190e cylinder head rebuild meant I had to sell this car shortly after acquiring it. Since then I've had a bit of money luck, and now realise I didn't need to sell it after all. Typical.

      I think that's it. My arthritis is playing up even more now. I've left out a few cars that were actually my wife's, but if I find pictures will add them in at a later date. I'll run this as an ongoing thread on cars and what's happening.

      Current SitRep:

      Purple Avensis: Just about to click over 185,000. Minor drama this week when an HT lead split but otherwise utterly fantastic, fantastically boring and boringly reliable.

      Granvia: Just done 1000 miles in a month around Norfolk, 6 up with suitcases. 31mpg achieved on the way up which is good for an old tub with a 3.0 Turbo Diesel on board. ODO displaying 175,000 which is a mix of miles and kilometers. Say 130,000 miles for argument's sake.

      Mercedes: Being a PITA. It's had the top end completely rebuilt after the chain came off. Now needs welding to pass another MOT and the gearbox bearings are on strike. It's about to go into the garage for winter until I can stomach it again. 151,000 miles on the clock.

      Sierra bASe: Still on sabbatical with AngryDicky who only took it bloody camping in cornwall! Legend.
    • By captain_70s
      Hullo,
       
      I'm a masochist from Leeds who is running two rusty, worn out Triumph Dolomites as my only transport in rural Aberdeenshire. You might recognise me from various other forums and Facebook groups. Realistically I need to buy a modern car of some sort, but instead I find myself looking at £300 Citroen BXs and Triumph Acclaims on Gumtree and thinking "yeah, that'd fit right in with the rest of the broken cars I can't afford".
       
      On to the cars, the main attraction being my 1976 1850HL "50 Shades of Yellow" that I bought for £850 and is currently my daily driver, here is a picture of it before I sanded off some surface rust and sprayed it badly in the wrong shade of yellow with rattle cans:
       

       
      Within a month of purchase I managed to plant it in to a steel fence backwards after a botched gear change on a wet roundabout and ruined the N/S rear wing, although judging by the other dent that's packed with filler it looks like somebody had already done the same. I also managed to destroy a halfshaft and one of my Sprint alloys (good for an extra 15hp) in the incident, so now it's sitting on it's original steelies but painted black (good for an extra 5hp).
       
      It's only broken down on me twice. once with some sort of fuel delivery related problem which may or may not have been an empty fuel tank and once when the thermostat jammed shut and it overheated and blew out some O-rings for the cooling system. It has recently developed a taste for coolant and oil which is rather annoying, although it's done 89,300 miles which is about 80,000 more miles than BL engineering is designed to last, I'm keeping my eye on eBay for replacement engines... 
      I tried to keep ahead of the rust a bit by rubbing down the arches and re-painting them, but apparently rattle can paint isn't great when you are spraying it at -5C, it also highlighted how although my car might have been Inca Yellow in 1976 it's now more of a "cat piss" sort of shade. So I ended up with the wrong shade of yellow which has rust coming back through after 5 weeks. Did I mention I'm incompetent?
       
      The other car is the first "classic" car I bought, so I can't bear to sell it. It's a '77 Dolomite 1300 and it cost £1400 (about £400 too much) and has been nothing but a pain in the arse:
       

       
      It looks much prettier (from 100 yards) but that's most due to the darker paintwork hiding the rust. It lives a mollycoddled life in my garage, where it somehow still manages to rust, and is utterly rubbish. 0-60 is measured on a calendar, top speed is 80ish but at that point it uses more oil than petrol, it rarely ventures over 50mph and if you encounter an incline of any sort you can kiss that sort of speed goodbye, along with about £20 of 20W50 as it vanishes out of the exhaust in the form of blue smoke.
       
      One of the PO's had clearly never heard of the term "oil change" so it developed into brown sludge that coated everything internally with the next owner(s) blissfully pouring fresh oil on top of it. This lasted until about 600 miles into my ownership when there was muffled "pop" from the engine bay and the car became a 3-cylinder. The cause was catastrophic wear to the top end causing a rocker arm to snap:
       

       
      As this was my first classic car I'd assumed it was supposed to sound like the engine was full of marbles, it wasn't.
       
      I put the engine back together with second hand bits declared it utterly fucked and promptly did another 5000 miles with it. After about 3500 of those miles the oil burning started, valve seals have gone so it's been relegated to my parent's garage as a backup car and something to take to local car shows as the 1850 is now embarrassingly ugly. I'm keeping my eye on eBay for replacement engines (deja vu, anybody?) Oh, I also recently reversed it into a parked Ford Fiesta and royally fucked up the rear bumper, rear panel and bootlid. Did I mention I'm incompetent?
       
      There have been two other cars in my life. My first car, a 2008 Toyota Yaris 1.0 an it's replacement a 2012 Corsa 1.4T. I didn't really want either of them, but it's a long story involving my parents and poor life choices. Ask if you want to hear it!
       
      So that's a brief summary of my current shite. If you want more pictures or details of anything do say as I've got photos of almost everything I'd done with the cars.
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