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Shirley Knott's Evil Web Of Shite- Golf Gti total spend so far- Yikes!

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Thanks man

RE the 940, that's exactly what happened.

That car actually sold for quite strong money as a pseudo 'classic' and was quite desirable as a turbo/manual/RWD... This time round it makes a lot less sense. P2 V70's are pretty uninteresting to almost everyone, and as 140ps NA model this one's bottom of the ladder. Either way, none of that's important- I think the car's a keeper and I'll enjoy tooling around in it for the forseeable future.

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  • Shirley Knott changed the title to Shirley Knott's Evil Web Of Shite
  • 4 weeks later...

Well, as mentioned in the previous post the V70 predictably shat itself from both ends last week as payment for all the love I'd shown it last month.

The trouble started on Monday when I jumped in it with the intention of taking the boy to school, turned the key and it just clicked. Fuck. I ditched it, took the Golf (Old faithful) and left it  on a smart charger for the morning. The following day, it started but the battery was sat at 11.5 volts at rest. I threw caution to the wind and did the school run, got back safely only to be met with an awful burning smell and smoke pouring out of the OSF wheel well. Double fuck.

No good procrastinating- Parts were ordered and turned up at the weekend...




First up- Battery. I'd taken the opportunity to upgrade to a bigger 019 Exide jobby intended for the D5 models as internet wisdom suggested the bracket could be shifted along to allow for it.

Old vs new...




The internet wisdom was correct, the newer bigger battery fitted just fine...




Next up, rusty caliper to remove. Deep joy...




New equipment at the ready...




And all fitted/bled up. My fetish for new brake hardware visible through alloy wheel spokes was satisfied.




I'm about 100 miles deep after these changes and all seems well *touches wood.

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  • Shirley Knott changed the title to Shirley Knott's Evil Web Of Shite- Bat Flattery And Stuck Caliper Misery
  • 4 weeks later...


This morning I realised that the weather forecast didn't involve rain or snow, so it seemed like a good time to fit a part I've had hanging about in the shed for ages.

Behold... A new old stock Mann fule filter for the V70 M9.

This was bought from Ebay nearly a year ago for £6 delivered, less than a third of what ECP (Robbing bastards with their pretendy sales) wanted for the same part...




I'm not one for messing about with these filters on petrol cars, but given the existing one was 20 years old I thought why not? Looking at the old filter it felt like I'd made the right choice. Mann list this part number as a direct replacement, so I was massively perturbed by the difference in size/appearance...




Old filter is old...

It lives under the car in front of the rear wheels to be fair, I'm not sure what I expected? I could easily have poked a screwdriver through it and I recon before long this would have actually started leaking...




Worries about the size difference were needless- The new filter plumbed it like it had always belonged there...




All fitted and test driven- no leaks.

Now the new filter's fitted, when driving, the car feels no different, at all. None the less- I think it was a job worth doing, and for future under-lookers of under carriages (My MOT tester) it should at least convey an image of a car that's maintained/looked after?

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  • Shirley Knott changed the title to Shirley Knott's Evil Web Of Shite

Some small updates here

C1 has had a new midsection exhaust fitted- No pictures of this as it was a hateful job completed in sub zero conditions and frankly I just wanted it over with

All hasn't been well with the Volvo- last week ANOTHER one of the calipers stuck/seized resulting in much brake smell and smoke, so guess what I've been doing this weekend...




That's three calipers I've replaced on this within the last 16 months! Only one original caliper now remains now. I've honestly never known anything like it.

In other news- A new fleet member is arriving shortly. I was lucky enough to win last nights Golf GTi roffle! Plans have already been made to have the car transported up to Gods country in time for next weekend.  Exciting times.



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Volvo calipers do seem to seize and stick for fun. Both my 740’s and my 244 had repeated caliper problems! They’re not cheap either. They don’t seem to like sitting around I think. 
Ive not used my 740 for a few months now (COVID lockdown shit) so I’m fully expecting brake related problems when I do.

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3 hours ago, Shirley Knott said:

I was lucky enough to win last nights Golf GTi roffle! Plans have already been made to have the car transported up to Gods country in time for next weekend.  Exciting times.

nice one ! you lucky bugger :) 

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9 hours ago, gm said:

nice one ! you lucky bugger :) 

Thanks man- We already own  one  MK4 in exactly the same colour, and it looks like her indoors is going to take the roffle one as her daily. it's going to look slightly odd us both driving outwardly identical cars but meh, who cares.

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A busy day at cassa Knott- Basically one in one out!


Deeply reliable 2 owner £20 per year to tax tried and tested 50mpg Citroen C1 with two keys and FSH. 



It actually sold for full asking price within two hours of being advertised at £895.

I would have offered it here, but honestly, every nut and bolt I've ever touched on it has sheered. It's simple, but properly miserable to work on for the above reason I wouldn't wish that on any of my AS comrades. Other than that, a nice straight car.


The C1 was my wife's daily driver, but in a moment of brilliant decision making I've now replaced it with the £25 roffle win Golf GTI. Looking at the MOT history the car has stood for two or three years, and then went to live with @blackbart where this was remedied by allowing it to stand for a further 6 months. Blackbart has only driven the car a mile or two in his ownership, so I literally have no idea if it overheats, has OMGHGF, or any other foibles. One things for sure, allowing a car to stand for years at a time is never good.

Here's a picture of it en-route via @worldofceri, who delivered on time and offered a world class service FWIW (Thanks again Ceri!) Also, an honourable mention to @Sh'Eds who kindly supplied some oil filters gratis to be shuffled, along with the car up North.




I've had the car 24 hours now and the snagging list is as follows...

Miss-matched tyres (One very badly perrished), No timing belt history or service history at all worth mentioning, arm rest broken, bonnet release handle broken, slight misfire at idle, temperature gauge completely inoperative, dip stick tube broken, all brakes badly rusted, exhaust blowing.

As people say around these parts, WCPGW?



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  • Shirley Knott changed the title to Shirley Knott's Evil Web Of Shite- Citroen C1 Out... Roffle Win Golf GTi In!
1 hour ago, Broadsword said:

Looking forward to your progress with the Golf! Do you think it can be turned around to something capable of daily duties?

Hopefully! It's a good clean rust free shell and the 2.0 8V is a simple motor so a decent base to start from.

I suppose really it's just a case of getting the temperature gauge working (New CTS will do it probably), some new discs/pads all round and then see what happens....

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Roffle Golf fettling begins.

First concern- inoperative temperature gauge. As predicted a new coolant temperature sensor corrected this.

VAG enthusiasts suggest you MUST use a genuine part, in my experience this isn't necessary. Aftermarket sensor procured....




The sensor lives down the left hand side of the block and is just held in by a little clip...




As mentioned the gauge now works, but has revealed some cool running issues. The VAG temp readouts sit pegged at 90 degrees basically anywhere between 70-110 IIRC so as not to alarm users, so live data was employed and revealed the car to be struggling to hit 60 degrees even after 20 minutes of running...




Usually this is the thermostat stuck open (TADTS)- New thermostat en route then we'll see what happens.

Mrs Knott is driving this car today, which could be interesting, but at least it's not likely to overheat!

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  • Shirley Knott changed the title to Shirley Knott's Evil Web Of Shite- Roffle Win Golf Fettling Begins

The Volvo has been causing grief again- This time via ABS.

Basically you could feel the ABS system cutting in through the pedal during low speed braking. Sure enough, it was a reluctor ring at fault.

Hub separated from the strut and drive shaft removed...




New reluctor ring bashed on...




Bad news- The driveshaft in general looks to be in a poor state corrosion wise, also the brake hose is in a pretty poor state and could do with replacing...




To top all of this off it's also apparent the CV boot is split, so this lot will all be coming apart again in the near future. It never rains, but it pours!

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  • Shirley Knott changed the title to Shirley Knott's Evil Web Of Shite- Volvo ABS Woes
  • 2 weeks later...

Work continues on the Roffle Golf

The brakes are rusty all round as the car's been stood for a bit (3 years by the MOT history). They gained an advisory on the car's most recent MOT and the tester wasn't wrong...




Comline discs are the choice of champions- I must have fitted 5 sets of these to my own fleet and family cars over the last year...




Unfortunately at this point disaster struck. It quickly became apparent that BOTH caliper pin threads in the NS hub were stripped. Only one thing for it- The hub was drilled out and caliper pin repair thread inserts were *installed. These are one of those parts that nobody ever really wants to use, but at some time, when you least expect it, you might have to make that call...




After this an air filter change was attempted. It seems likely that whoever did the brakes last time around also probably changed the air filter as the air box was completely smashed...




A quick scoot round the doors and a new box was found for a cheap as chips £10 fee- Part number different, but cross compatibility is strong with VAG products of this era...




New filter going in. Bosch, because she's worth it...




Next steps- Thermostat, and then timing belt/waterpump as currently in roulette mode.

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  • Shirley Knott changed the title to Shirley Knott's Evil Web Of Shite- Roffle Golf Fettling Continues

Work on the the Roffle Golf continues.

We've had this for just over a fortnight now, Mrs Knott has been using it for daily duties without mishaps, it seems to be alright on the whole and worthy of investing some time/energy on- So here we go.

This week the timing belt and waterpump were changed using a Gates kit. The job was farmed out to a local Garage I use. I did the belts on the Volvo's myself, but decided as a treat I'd pay someone else to do this one and as the whole thing came in at just under £200 it seemed worth it. Paying someone else to work on my cars gives me a bit of an existential crisis, but then I'm 40 next year for heavens sake, I work full time and have a busy life- I really must get of of the mindset that I have to do everything myself.

The garage saved me the old waterpump to have a look at....




Yup- That'll be FUBAR then, literally about 30% of the plastic impellor was missing.

In preparation for the timing belt/pump I'd changed the thermostat. It's in a bit of a fiddly position on these with a fair amount of stuff having to come off to finally get to it...




NOS Calorstat branded item was fitted on the basis I've used them before and never had problems... As mentioned when the CTS was replaced, VAG fanboys will insist that OE parts must be used for the cooling systems on these cars- My experience has overwhelmingly been that good aftermarket works just as well. 

Old vs new....




Thermostat outlet was cleaned up and fitted with a new o-ring using a small slather of RTV....




Just about done...




As predicted this, along with the new CTS and fresh coolant resulted in the car getting up to temperature properly and staying there with nothing untoward happening- Something of a relief.

A new dipstick tube was fitted whilst things went back together as the old one was broken (TADTS)...




Next up was dealing with the drivers seat with the torn bolster. The one on the car was badly torn and really bringing the interior down. As an aside,  these are weird- Some of these seats seem to last for hundreds of thousands of miles and keep the bolster in tact, whilst others are shot on low mileage cars. I suppose it's really down to the way previous owners got in and out of the car.

As luck would have it, I have a cache of Golf spares in my loft and a new GTi 'Sports' seat was amongst them in the correct 3 door flavour, and so down it came.

I can literally change Mk4 seats over in under 5 minutes- They must be one of the easiest to do. Old seat removed....




Old vs new...




And all sorted....




Things are really coming together on this now. At this stage it just needs an oil service, rear brakes changing, potentially a new radiator, a blow on the exhaust looking at and a good valet.

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  • Shirley Knott changed the title to Shirley Knott's Evil Web Of Shite- Roffle Golf Gti Fettling Continues- Timing Belt, Thermostat And Seats.
34 minutes ago, Sham said:

Knew this was going to be a good one.

Good work.

Define good....

No timing belt history/brakes rusted badly and hub threads stripped out/blowing exhaust/smashed air filter housing/broken dipstick/broken armrest/ripped seat/leaking radiator/inoperative coolant gauge?

It's a good shell and a decent starting point as a fixer upper, I wouldn't argue with that... Thanks for the kind words though!

19 minutes ago, GrumpiusMaximus said:

You've reminded me that I probably ought to replace the seats in mine.  The latch handle has broken and the seat is stuck at the back of the ratchet.  Probably cheaper and easier to just replace the seat than faff around with trying to find a new latch....

Honestly- You'll be able to get a seat from a breaker for a pittance. They're very easy to change

Meanwhile- Post a picture of the part you need- I'll be stripping the old seat down to use the foam/harvest spares for other projects... If it's easy to remove I'll post it to you.  It's a shame you're not closer, if you were you could have just taken the whole seat base and swapped the backs over (Assuming yours are the same type)

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Some more fettling completed today

First up a new CV boot was fitted to the V70 via cone (I'd spotted the boot was knackered while fitting a new ABS ring a fortnight ago)

It's the first time I've used one of these boot cone jobbies and whilst some brute force was required to get the new boot over the cone, I must admit to being quite impressed. Not having to separate the CV joint brought me deep joy...





New boot on, reversed and ready, beautiful! Just a case of putting it all back together at this stage....




Once the Volvo was re-assembled I then set about stripping down the seat with the torn bolster removed from the roffle win Golf last week....




In spite of the worn bolster it was a decent seat and some useful parts were harvested

The foam from the seat base is very good so it will be used to improve our other Golf's seat as that's completely flattened, perhaps from an obese previous owner? Also the mechanism for the seat retraction handle/cable was removed ready to be posted to @GrumpiusMaximus so as to allow him to repair his car.

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  • Shirley Knott changed the title to Shirley Knott's Evil Web Of Shite- CV boot cone action and added seat harvesting
8 hours ago, Minimad5 said:

Glad to see I'm not the only one who spends more on fixing a car, than actually buying it 😅

Good work

Nope you're not alone!

Even doing most of the work myself, I've actually spent multiple times the purchase price on repairs for all three current fleet members... That actually sounds dreadful, but the reality is I'm in for less than £1k for each car so it's not too bad.

 Technically speaking any repairs that amount to more than the value of a car would be classed as 'un-economical' in the eyes of the masses, but then with this mindset cars at the bottom of their depreciation curve would end up scrapped because they needed new tyres etc... Madness.

I tend to think objectively about what a car's worth to me rather that what it's worth on paper and then base any financial decision making on that- I like to think of it as a kind of 'Inverted Sierraman' approach.

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  • 2 weeks later...

More boring Golf shite I'm afraid.

After my roffle win the drive now looks like some kind micro of Mk4 enthusiasts convention...




His and hers. Meh, worse things happen at sea.

The Golf SDI- Fine as always. Running reliably, no problems. The Golf Gti, not so much.

It's been struggling recently with some hard starts involving long cranking and then eventually firing after 5 or 6 seconds. It only does this on the odd occasion , but it's pretty unnerving and also difficult to diagnose as no codes and pretty infrequent so without having live data at the ready for the one out of ten start attempts it does this, it's tricky. I've had issues like this before with crank sensors going bad, so I thought for the sake of £20 I'd replace it.

Parts at the ready...




The crank sensor lives behind the oil filter on these, so I thought I might as well drain the sump and change the oil at the same time (Oil filter kindly donated by @Sh'Eds)

It's too early to say if the new crank sensor has solved the issues, but initially things look positive.

Also, the gearstick and gaiter were replaced, thus restoring a feel of much luxury and such prestige to the interior of the GTi...





New- Much better....


100_0493 (1)



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  • Shirley Knott changed the title to Shirley Knott's Evil Web Of Shite- His n Hers Golf Action.
21 minutes ago, Sh'Eds said:

Looks like you are doing a grand job of whipping that roffle golf into shape. Also would seem you have no luck with brakes in any vehicle you own!

Thanks, the roffle Golf's main appeal is it cost £25, can't go wrong, or can you...?

You're right re brakes, I've had more bother in the last year than the last ten combined, it's all down to lack of use due to lockdown IMO. Three 'M's, machinery must move!

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A busy morning filled with Germanic fettling at the Knott Mk4 Golf emporium

I appreciate from the pics, it looks like I'm working on one car, rather than two very different, and yet outwardly identical looking Mk4Golfs. Weird eh?

First up, a full engine service was metered out to the trusty Golf SDi involving new  oil, oil filter, air filter and fuel filter....




In full swing...




And then attention was turned to the Rollfle Golf Gti which was bestowed with new discs and pads on the rear (All brakes were advised for being rusty on the last MOT)

Not a minute to soon by the looks of things, ugh...




Things happening! Comline braking equipment used as always...




Maybe a bit to much copper slip here, but I hate noisy brakes (Never too much, never too much etc as Lionel used to say)...




And my fetish for new braking equipment visible through alloy wheels has been satisfied...




I actually love working on Mk4's, everything is user friendly and logical, I'm used to them and nothing really takes that long. Also, parts are CHEAP! The entire parts cost for the diesel Golf's service and the rear discs and pads for the GTi came to less than £70 combined, can't argue with that.

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  • Shirley Knott changed the title to Shirley Knott's Evil Web Of Shite- Golf SDi major service and Golf GTi rear brakes

Since my roffle Golf win landed a month or so back, it's been clear the radiator was leaking. Today I grasped the antifreeze soaked nettle and got stuck in.

The old rad, once removed was clearly leaking quite badly from both sides as can be seen by the pink coolant stains...






Old vs new as fans/sensors etc are swapped across...




The level of dissasembly required to replace the radiator on these is not for the feint hearted....






It's all back together now and running properly, free from leaks, thank God.

The Nissens branded radiator only cost £19 delivered, so a cheap job, but the emotional cost was high. The last time I changed a rad on a Mk4 was nearly ten years ago, that car didn't have AC and was far less taxing!

I'm firmly listing VAG radiator changes under 'Pay someone else to do it' in future!

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  • Shirley Knott changed the title to Shirley Knott's Evil Web Of Shite- Golf Gti total spend so far- Yikes!

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