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What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread


outlaw118

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This could easily have been a work email 🤣

"Dear Technicians: It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
Number 1 TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training..
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

Number 2 TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a fucking bitch.

Number 3 TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

Number 4 TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No fucking way.

Number 5 TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me!

Number 6 TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.

Number 7 TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.

Number 8 TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?

Number 9 TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work.

Number 10 TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the fuck didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11 TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues...
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.

Number 12 TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.

Number 13 TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.

Number 14 TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary.

Number 15 TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.

Number 16 TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This fucking job sucks.

Number 17 TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the fuck died and made you boss?

Number 18 TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a prick."

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6 hours ago, Leyland Worldmaster said:

I didn't* laugh. 

 

DSC_9588.JPG

I once came back to a jaguar XK8 with a car touching the back bumper like that

I was parked in a narrow side street near a corner , a car stopped behind me touching the bumper with the back of his car right on the corner 

I thought cheeky cunt 

Then a bloke came out if a house and said he did that and pointed to an Asda van unloading down the street

I went to the back of this car and he'd hit the corner of it that hard he'd shoved it into mine , caved it all in , bumper hanging off , light broken 

I walked down to ask about it , lad about 21-22 , I could tell he had no idea he'd hit it , the irony was I'd applied for a job with Asda a few weeks previously , 30 years experience of driving vans and I didn't even get an interview 🤣

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6 hours ago, rainagain said:

Did a double take when I saw this on the A-Team last night. I didn’t even know they sold them in the US, I love what he’s done to it, I’m sure the Doctor would approve ;) 

456094E8-5C36-4C62-ADA7-853F3733DF8E.jpeg

They did without the armour, but were not that successful.

 

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15 hours ago, rainagain said:

Did a double take when I saw this on the A-Team last night. I didn’t even know they sold them in the US, I love what he’s done to it, I’m sure the Doctor would approve ;) 

456094E8-5C36-4C62-ADA7-853F3733DF8E.jpeg

Imaginatively dubbed Le Car IIRC.

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