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What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread


outlaw118

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Just been talking to a guy that owns a body shopĀ 

One of his customers had an new RS6 , he'd been for PPE and paint correction but he was obsessed with it ,Ā decided he wanted an interim oil service so bough the correct oil and took it to one of the high st tyre service placesĀ 

They did the oil change , took it off the ramp , gave it back , he got about a mile and the dash lit up like a Christmas tree so he took it back , they got a guy in to scan it and it came up with a gearbox faultĀ 

What numbnuts had done was removed the sump plug , drained the oil , refilled it and given it back , only he'd drained the gearbox oil and filled the engine up so it had double the oil in itĀ 

There's a moral to this story but I'm sure you can work it out :D

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18 hours ago, Agila said:

Just smelled my old best mate from the mid 90's.

Ok that needs further explanation, just out of shower, reached for a lynx can, it's only retro java I think I got for Christmas. My old mate Dave used to wear that back in the day.

Still smells shit though, it's no Africa šŸ¤£

I can still remember the lovely smell of Lynx Oriental.

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Today I shall be mainly eating Oliebolle with a few Appelflappe. The wife makes some mean ones. I am a fat git with a sweet tooth who will never say no to them!

Just will not be on the streets of Rotterdam.

https://www.rotterdamcentrum.nl/en/news/delicious-oliebollen-rotterdam

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10 minutes ago, Tenmil Socket said:

I can still remember the lovely smell of Lynx Oriental.

Yeah. I used to useĀ that. Back in the day you couldn't beat the success rate with Fahrenheit or Kouros.

Moved onto joop original late nineties. One squirt would make your house stink for a week. No idea what the hell was in that.

I had an amazing night with Miss Doncaster(yes that was such a thing)Ā thanks to joop once. Worth every penny it cost in Boots šŸ‘

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2 hours ago, Wack said:

Just been talking to a guy that owns a body shopĀ 

One of his customers had an new RS6 , he'd been for PPE and paint correction but he was obsessed with it ,Ā decided he wanted an interim oil service so bough the correct oil and took it to one of the high st tyre service placesĀ 

They did the oil change , took it off the ramp , gave it back , he got about a mile and the dash lit up like a Christmas tree so he took it back , they got a guy in to scan it and it came up with a gearbox faultĀ 

What numbnuts had done was removed the sump plug , drained the oil , refilled it and given it back , only he'd drained the gearbox oil and filled the engine up so it had double the oil in itĀ 

There's a moral to this story but I'm sure you can work it out :D

Not the first time that kind of thing has happened.

https://www.audizine.com/forum/showthread.php/681930-Just-another-reason-not-to-take-your-S4-to-an-instant-oil-change-shop

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some years back i was watching a guy working on a very nice jag while i was having tyres fitted. i presume the jag was needing a ball joint or track rod end as the guy had the oxy acetylene torch out and was belting seven bells out of something.Ā 

then it went very quiet.Ā 

then the shouting started.Ā 

then the customer saw the massive gouge in his wing from a misjudged swing of the lump hammer.

not sure how it ended as my tyres were done and i nicked off sharpish before things got too heated :(Ā 

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3 hours ago, gm said:

some years back i was watching a guy working on a very nice jag while i was having tyres fitted. i presume the jag was needing a ball joint or track rod end as the guy had the oxy acetylene torch out and was belting seven bells out of something.Ā 

then it went very quiet.Ā 

then the shouting started.Ā 

then the customer saw the massive gouge in his wing from a misjudged swing of the lump hammer.

not sure how it ended as my tyres were done and i nicked off sharpish before things got too heated :(Ā 

I once misjudged the width of the pit when driving over it to get my exhaust changed , a mate worked there , I think I'd have been about 18 , drove over it without anyone watching me , because 18 , next second in itĀ 

It was only an old Cortina , put a dent in the sill that went with the other dentsĀ 

The same guy a few weeks after drove a reliant robin over the pit instead of reversing it , that didn't go as wellĀ 

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14 hours ago, Bren said:

When your flatulence smells so funky that it makes the people around you angry....

That's the position I'm in at the moment , eaten something that's disagreed with me , smelliest farts I've even known , they're even offending meĀ 

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15 hours ago, robinmasters said:

It really isn't.Ā 

Ā 

In the 80s I knew a guy who was a fishmonger , he said the smell was in his pores , couldn't get rid of it , when he went out to pubs & nightclubs he said he could see people sniffing the airĀ 

Can you smell fishĀ 

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On 1/1/2022 at 11:13 PM, Bren said:

When your flatulence smells so funky that it makes the people around you angry....

A very good mate of mine has that problem, he also noticed that certain foods significantly affect his movements.Ā 
He's type one diabetic and never thought much of it - I pointed out to him that he probably has IBS...Ā 

Ā 

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I'll happily clean fish, the worst for me is the smell that comes out of you after you've dressed any amount of game birds. Pheasant, partidge, even well matureĀ turkeys. The smell gets through your skin and into your system, after thatĀ every fart stinks of rotting bird guts.Ā 

I avoid it at all costs these days.

Ā 

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Back when I was young and had a job that got me unlimited use and free diesel for a brand new rental Bedford Astramax , when I wasn't traveling round Englands slaughterhouses collecting blood straight from the animals throats and getting van loads of cheap fresh meat, when we were quiet we used to skin and joint up Venison carcasses . We also used to do well hung pheasants and pigeons....after a day of machine plucking hundreds of birds it didn't matter how much you showered , even with Lynx type products, I could empty a busy pub on music gig nights with just one tiny little fart , they were horrendous almost vomit inducing . šŸ¤®šŸ¤®šŸ¤®

But hey ho ,I put up with it for the Astramax and on other occasions a Bedford Bravo pick up or a Peugeot 505 at 19 years oldĀ 

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I was a trimmer at the abattoir that handled Jamie Oliver's 28 day hung beef for Sainsburys back in the day.

Instead of our usual 5-6 hour shift ( job and jack), we would run for 2 12 hour shifts to get it all through the lines in 1 go

Guys who had been there for years were retching,If anyone thought they were actually going to puke had to run to a designated area

Once done the whole building had it's regular deep clean and hygiene 8hr shift, but was repeated another 2 times

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